In for stories

Not lulzy, but when I worked in the HOA I was pulling 12hr shifts, with an incompetent boss delegating her responsibilities to me.

I finally gave notice, and spent my time studying while unemployed. A little over a month later my old boss texted me to see if I would come back.

Turns out soon after I left, my new boss got exposed as an incompetent fraud and she decided to quit since she couldn't hide it.

Sometimes I pass through the cluster of neighborhoods I used to manage and they look like absolute chit compared to when I was enforcing the community standard.

When I was a kid in university I had a summer job at city hall working as a facilities worker (janitor basically).

Anyways I thought it would be a good idea to have some buddies come to city hall and pre drink since it was right near all the bars.

The next Monday I stroll into city hall and my boss says to me “come with me I want to show you something.”

So we go into the facilities office and there is a massive cock drawn on the white board. He asks me to explain. So at this point in time I have to make a decision and I’m not sure what’s worse having ppl in city hall after hours and saying they did it or drawing it myself. So I look him in the eyes and say to him “I drew this.”

So this guy thinks I’m alone at city hall drawing cocks even though it was my buddies who were the ones responsible for actually drawing it.

My mom also worked for the municipality and got me the job so this guy had to call her and explain why he had to let me go

I farted in all the offices at walmart when I used to work nights

The thread about these events is honestly one of the GOATs.

You must have been so sour at who ever wrote that

Was in a sales job that was incredibly hands off, so much so that we basically had to appear in the office for a couple of hours in the morning and then spent the rest of the day in territory (supposedly). I had decided to leave that job and already found another. Knowing that it was probably going to be a while before they figured out I was double dipping, I didn't give notice at the first job and just stopped showing up for work. I even got a pool going on my sales team (without my manager knowing obviously) to see how many days I could get away with it.

After the first week - yes, week - of not going in I got a message from my manager asking if I would be in next week and for an update of what I was doing. I didn't respond. Another few days go by and he reaches out again via email. Didn't try to call me, nothing. Just email. Two weeks pass and finally I hear from HR telling me to contact them as my manager has indicated that I stopped showing up for work. Ignored that. Received a paycheck for that two week period.

It took another week for them to tell me I was fired and that I'd have to pay back the money they paid. I quickly sent off a note that it was constructive dismissal because they'd made no attempt to accomodate my situation, blah blah blah. Basically telling them to pound sand. I got the rest of my vacation paid out and that was that. But it seriously took three weeks of not showing up for work for them to fire me.

I got fired once. I was having major insomnia for over a month. One day I just crashed and was sleeping and missed a few meetings. The boss video calls me and asks me if I was sleeping. She was passed and a few days later after it went through HR I got canned.

This was recently, and now I got a better paying job anyways so all is well now.

have walked off a few construction sites and never went back

doing chit work is painful but doing chit work for kunts.......it's like being in jail

i worked at a pizza place right after college and it was a sunday morning with the obese alcoholic coke addict weeb gamer manager, and the blue haired turbowoke binch - mgr supposed to show up at 9, me at 10, her at 11 - mgr doesnt show til 1015 to unlock the door and so its all the cooks outside, ovens take time to get hot, we wind up behind to start but this dude opens the door and is also nowhere to be found - so im doing all the set up work, taking lip from customers who had been waiting outside for us to open and are shocked that there isnt any pizza - turbowoke shows up and is legit just hanging out speaking spanish with the cooks chilling and im like yeah sure ill just set up the store, take all the orders, run the cash register all by myself all day, i could use 3 paychecks and all the tips to myself anyway

**** wound up getting real busy for lunch time and its a small spot so it gets pretty loud and i have to speak pretty forcefully for people to hear me and when confirming peoples orders - turbowokie walks by and im thinking oh, nice, shes realized that she is at work and has a job to do but it turns out shes getting sodas for the cooks and as im going in and out of the ovens she walks behind me without saying anything and i bump into her because i have no idea shes there, why would she be there? and its a pretty standard rule when going behind someone everybody says 'behind you' and so im like wtf and she gets pissy and snaps at me saying 'you know youve been really rude to all these customers all day but i wont stand for you taking it out on me' told her to literally get ****ed and walked out with people's pizza still in the oven.

big boss called me up later saying he watched the tape wanted to make it right etc etc etc no fkn thanks

this other time i was working as a bouncer at set of popular boston clubs and we had kicked this guy and his crew out for fighting - the door guys' job is to make sure that they make note of the people kicked out so that they dont come back in - these guys didnt and so the guy had gone to his car and come back with a gun which he fumbled while trying to avoid the pat down - it winds up on the floor in the lobby, which is busy, and everyone starts to scramble for it - 3 of our guys get stabbed, but we recover the gun and the guy gets arrested - all the dudes were talking about it like it was some hot **** - job wasnt nearly worth that level of risk - walked out never came back

Worked at a big box grocery store back in my late teens

Got my best buddy from Junior High a job there

Day 2 we picked up a large amount of something that is now legalized and he showed up like an hour late, fired on the spot

Never been fired, and nothing too crazy but I worked at Bill Millers BBQ for a month in HS.
They didn’t love me as I wasn’t really one to hustle (back then anyway lol)
I was training a new guy busing tables and dishes and the bulldyke of a new manager and my hiring manager pulled me into the tiny office and sat me down on a box (so they were both legit looking down at me.)
Bulldyke explains how I bus tables too slow and I’m just looking away so she gets pissy and goes “Can you look at me when I’m talking to you?!”
Ignoring her, I looked over at the manager who hired me and said “Yeah I’m not gonna put up with this, do I need to clock out or what?”
Clocked out and rolled without telling my buddies lol. They’d normally get out by 10 and I think had to work until 11ish that night since the new guy was clueless.
Looking back I couldn’t fathom why the manager cared so much. I know they can make alright money but imagining being fat af in my 40s heading to work at a fast food place..jfl. When he’d try and get me to speed up dropping chicken once I looked at him straight in the face and said “I have one speed.” Lmfao
Terrible employee, I know.
Speaking of:
My last gig I’d drive to different construction sites all over to test their soils/take concrete samples. Would regularly meet up with tinder sloots on the clock at their house or smash them on job sites/at park and rides.

I was contemplating leaving an old company. Terrible work life balance, weekends, 80+ hour weeks. One of the business manager positions became available which was a step up from my position (more management, less sales) and I told the general manager that I would like to apply for the open position. After the first month there I had been their top earner for the previous 10 months. Turnover was pretty high so the only people who had seniority over me was 1 or two and I know they didn't bring in nearly the sales I had. He told me he didn't think I should apply and that I should stay in my same position for the time being. (aka I'm pretty sure he was afraid of the sales I was bringing in would be lost) They ended up hiring some from outside the company.

A week or two later I accepted a position with an outside company and I went to give him my two week notice. He started getting mad and telling me I'm throwing away this opportunity they have given me and how I would of been given the management position in the future and he thought he was doing me a favor. Then he kept trying to get me to tell him where I took the new position and I refused but I told him it was a change of industry and I won't be going to a competitor which is true. I gave him the the field and he said "I know people in that field, just tell me where you are going and I'll call and give them a good word about you". I told him that is not necessary as I already accepted the position and he is starting to become agitated and hostile that I wouldn't tell him my new companies name. I told him I would no longer be putting in my two weeks and I left that day.

I worked at a pop warehouse years ago, and we had a piece of junk forklift that had a stuck throttle pedal. One day I was taking a pallet of 2 liter bottles off the top rack and ended up clipping the side of the rack cause the pedal decided to act up. 50 bottles of pop ended up falling everywhere. I wrote a 2 week notice to my boss on a napkin and left it on the forklift and walked out. The boss was a psycho and I hated the place, I felt bad for the other guys cause they had to clean it up but they were laughing about it and giving me props. Still wasn't a smart thing to do but I only worked there for a few months so wasn't like I was ever putting that place down as a reference.

The boss was a huge ass

I had to fire someone for missing his shift a few times cuz he was a work release hire and started getting into drugs again.


But the week that lead up to firing him one night I saw a bunch of coke in his nose so I go “Jyreel you got coke in your nose”. And his response was just “what I do? No that can’t be right I checked good” as he’s furiously scrubbing his nose. Was just lmao like boyo, that’s not the response someone who wasn’t doing coke all night would give.

I think I told him he’s probably right and somone who was doing coke would be moving faster tho.

2006 my senior year in high school I worked at subway for 2 weeks...I knew the world cup in Germany was coming up, and I was just making cash for it, and even told my mom.

I was 18, and even worse I worked with a stoner, and some weird girl that listened to screamo music, and she was ugly AF lmao. I would be in the back doing dishes with her at closing time, and she would be listening to the worst music I've ever heard in my life I thought she was about to sacrifice me or something.

Other kid I worked with was high 24/7.

Anyway, one day I said fuk it, and just stopped going lmao. After 2 weeks I went to claim my check, and the boss literally said "Do you still work here??"


I replied "Nope" and walked out.

Das it mane but aren’t you married? lol



See KrackerJacked’s sig

I never been fired but hated the job I worked at, did nails.

A high quality person like should not be wasting his time doing nails. Pretty much overqualified for the job.

lol I met my wife when I was working my current job(been there nearly 5 years now,) am a steadfast member of the no cheating crew.
That was in my full fledge manwhore days.

I don't have any lulzy ones, and some this story won't make much sense to someone who wasn't there, but there was a time I worked at a factory (from 18-21) that there was this guy who was a real ****ot. Me and him (along with many others) had gotten into it a bunch of times.

On one day it was a Saturday (Overtime) and so there was a different supervisor in who either wasn't very well acquainted with how much of a douche the guy was or just didn't care and was all about the hierarchy (the ****ot guy was the machine operator). He was being a completely unreasonable douche, yet again, that day and we had a big argument before he ran to the supervisor. The guy came back and 100% took his side, and made no effort to resolve things, and didn't give a shyt about the context. That gave said ****ot even more confidence to further push things with me. Eventually it reached the point where if I didn't get away from him (or them both) I was going to beat his or their asses - I had reached my limit, so I had to leave.

I got suspended and then fired soon after for "insubordination". Meanwhile, people had gotten away with similar and way worse out there and kept their jobs. Ultimately, it's good because it gave me the kick in the ass to go to college and move forward/pursue an actual career (because I was comfortable at the time despite just being a factory laborer getting paid shyt and getting cucked).