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How do you get over doing bad things to other people?
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05-30-2022, 09:57 AM
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#1
05-30-2022, 10:01 AM
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#2
- Ironmanlet
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- Ironmanlet
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Do the best you can from now on. Start over.
Forgive yourself. Most likely they are already over you.
I mean, feel that ****. Acknowledge it, but don’t dwell on it in a counter productive manner. Think about it every time you feel someone wrongs you, so you can have more patience with them. Who are we to judge anyone after what we have done? Someone cut me off? lol, not even close to the damage I have done.
Start over, and reach the full potential of your human nature in the best way possible.
Understand and practice the virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, temperance, and above all integrity.
Prove to yourself how strong you can be. It will blow your mind man.
Forgive yourself. Most likely they are already over you.
I mean, feel that ****. Acknowledge it, but don’t dwell on it in a counter productive manner. Think about it every time you feel someone wrongs you, so you can have more patience with them. Who are we to judge anyone after what we have done? Someone cut me off? lol, not even close to the damage I have done.
Start over, and reach the full potential of your human nature in the best way possible.
Understand and practice the virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, temperance, and above all integrity.
Prove to yourself how strong you can be. It will blow your mind man.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“
PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
05-30-2022, 10:02 AM
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#3
You could try apologizing. That's part of 12 step programs.
If doing it IRL is impractical you can at least write out a letter "as if" you are making a real apology.
I've found things like that may just repeatedly surface, though maybe with less intensity.
You could think on what you did and why you did it. Consider if you would do the same again given the same circumstance or if you have learned something since then and would make a different choice.
Because I think that is part of forgiving yourself and others. Being able to sincerely think "I did the best I knew how then. Now that I know better I will do better."
If doing it IRL is impractical you can at least write out a letter "as if" you are making a real apology.
I've found things like that may just repeatedly surface, though maybe with less intensity.
You could think on what you did and why you did it. Consider if you would do the same again given the same circumstance or if you have learned something since then and would make a different choice.
Because I think that is part of forgiving yourself and others. Being able to sincerely think "I did the best I knew how then. Now that I know better I will do better."
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05-30-2022, 10:03 AM
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#4
- MagicBear
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- MagicBear
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
thank you so much. that really just helped me.Do the best you can from now on. Start over.
Forgive yourself. Most likely they are already over you.
I mean, feel that ****. Acknowledge it, but don’t dwell on it in a counter productive manner. Think about it every time you feel someone wrongs you, so you can have more patience with them. Who are we to judge anyone after what we have done? Someone cut me off? lol, not even close to the damage I have done.
Start over, and reach the full potential of your human nature in the best way possible.
Understand and practice the virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, temperance, and above all integrity.
Prove to yourself how strong you can be. It will blow your mind man.
Forgive yourself. Most likely they are already over you.
I mean, feel that ****. Acknowledge it, but don’t dwell on it in a counter productive manner. Think about it every time you feel someone wrongs you, so you can have more patience with them. Who are we to judge anyone after what we have done? Someone cut me off? lol, not even close to the damage I have done.
Start over, and reach the full potential of your human nature in the best way possible.
Understand and practice the virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, temperance, and above all integrity.
Prove to yourself how strong you can be. It will blow your mind man.
05-30-2022, 10:13 AM
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#5
- TheAdlerian
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- TheAdlerian
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Originally Posted By MagicBear⏩
As was already said, 12 Step programs try to handle this problem and it's worth reading about.I still feel guilty after things that happened a long time ago? What helps you get over feeling guilty?
The idea is to "make amends" and that can be apologizing or fixing something you broke.
For instance, let's say you stole 20 dollars off of someone. You can directly apologize, you can do that and give the 20 back, or if that would cause trouble you can write them a note and secretly apologize with a 20 in an envelope.
A BIG DEAL with making amends is that you don't selfishly apologize and cause trouble.
So, if you had sex with your neighbor's wife, you don't go and apologize to him. That's because that's a secret that could destroy their marriage and you getting it off your chest isn't worth dropping a nuke on them. So, you only make amends when it's safe to do so.
Also, in the Bible Jesus saves a woman about to get stoned for adultery. He tells everyone that none of them are free of sin and they have no right to throw stones at anyone. When the crowd leaves the woman asks Jesus what she's supposed to do now. Jesus tells her to just leave and don't commit sins like that anymore.
So, if you did bad things in the past you must vow not to do them, and really try hard to stop any kind of cycle you have of doing negative things.
That will make you feel better because now you're a man on a mission to be positive so your life is about something and not just an unthinking one.
If you want to ask me a question:
Ask: TheAdlerian
http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=150655983&p=1000366043#post1000366043
Read my science fiction novel:
http://www.amazon.com/Echelon-Adlerian-ebook/dp/B00RCFFTKC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419640250&sr=8-1&keywords=Echelon+the+adlerian
05-30-2022, 10:13 AM
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#6
- Ironmanlet
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- Ironmanlet
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Originally Posted By MagicBear⏩
Don’t forget to be patient with yourself man. I don’t mean to be easy on yourself, just be patient. And relentless. Evaluate your behavior on a daily basis.thank you so much. that really just helped me.
1. This is where I am. It doesn’t matter how I got here, I am here. This is my starting point.
2. This is where I want to be.
3. These are the specific things I have to do CONSISTENTLY to get from where I am to where I want to be, and most importantly….
4. What am I doing right now? It is helping me be the person I want to be? Stopping me from being that person? Neither helping nor hurting?
Sometimes the answers to that last questions won’t be what you want them to be. That is where you have patience, identify it, and adjust yourself. Be relentless in not lying to yourself. That is where integrity comes in. You have to be real with yourself, no matter how much it hurts. Pain is where we grow. I seek out the pain and discomfort. I know it is where I need to be.
This lifestyle is not easy. You have to understand if it is something you want there is no end point. The work becomes the goal. And we have to do it every ****ing day until we are no longer mentally capable. Relentlessly, fearlessly, and without excuses. I really hope to see you there. Please DM if you want to continue this with me. It would help me too.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“
PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
05-30-2022, 10:14 AM
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#7
05-30-2022, 10:17 AM
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#8
- Ikarsuz1337
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- Ikarsuz1337
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repentance, giving back and self sacrifice
05-30-2022, 10:20 AM
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#9
05-30-2022, 10:28 AM
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#10
05-30-2022, 10:45 AM
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#11
- lllEZRAlll
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- lllEZRAlll
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By helping other people
Wraith
05-30-2022, 10:53 AM
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#12
- MrCarrot
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- MrCarrot
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Isn't bad things part of the balance of the universe? Like for a pendulum to swing one way, it also has to swing the other. If we didn't know what sadness was like, then how would we know if we are happy?
Anyway, back to the point. I bullied a kid when I was younger, in fact he was a bit of an outcast and was bullied by everyone. Now I'm older I realise we made his life a complete misery and I'm badly ashamed of this. I can't apologise because I don't know where he is now, and an apology wouldn't really undo all the anguish. The best I can do now is to teach my own kids how important it is not to bully others, and how you should in fact help stick up for those who might not be able to stick up for themselves, even if it makes you less popular.
Anyway, back to the point. I bullied a kid when I was younger, in fact he was a bit of an outcast and was bullied by everyone. Now I'm older I realise we made his life a complete misery and I'm badly ashamed of this. I can't apologise because I don't know where he is now, and an apology wouldn't really undo all the anguish. The best I can do now is to teach my own kids how important it is not to bully others, and how you should in fact help stick up for those who might not be able to stick up for themselves, even if it makes you less popular.
05-30-2022, 10:58 AM
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#13
- Ironmanlet
- Adamantium User
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- Ironmanlet
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- Join Date: Aug 2009
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- Age: 40
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Originally Posted By MrCarrot⏩
Good for you. srs. on R/CIsn't bad things part of the balance of the universe? Like for a pendulum to swing one way, it also has to swing the other. If we didn't know what sadness was like, then how would we know if we are happy?
Anyway, back to the point. I bullied a kid when I was younger, in fact he was a bit of an outcast and was bullied by everyone. Now I'm older I realise we made his life a complete misery and I'm badly ashamed of this. I can't apologise because I don't know where he is now, and an apology wouldn't really undo all the anguish. The best I can do now is to teach my own kids how important it is not to bully others, and how you should in fact help stick up for those who might not be able to stick up for themselves, even if it makes you less popular.
Anyway, back to the point. I bullied a kid when I was younger, in fact he was a bit of an outcast and was bullied by everyone. Now I'm older I realise we made his life a complete misery and I'm badly ashamed of this. I can't apologise because I don't know where he is now, and an apology wouldn't really undo all the anguish. The best I can do now is to teach my own kids how important it is not to bully others, and how you should in fact help stick up for those who might not be able to stick up for themselves, even if it makes you less popular.
I would recommend trying to identify why you felt compelled to perform that behavior, and express that to your kids as well so they can anticipate that feeling. Or they can understand why they are being bullied if the shoe is on the other foot, which will help them through it.
Protip, it doesn’t have anything to do with the kid who was bullied. I bet you know that already.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“
PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
05-30-2022, 11:01 AM
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#14
05-30-2022, 11:02 AM
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#15
- SuperHercules
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Originally Posted By lllEZRAlll⏩
This is actually a god ideaBy helping other people
Your new content feelings from helping others will squash the guilt
See Shakebrah's sig
05-30-2022, 11:04 AM
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#16
- crupiea
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- crupiea
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This regret and bad feelings will drag you down. if you are like most people, it probably wasnt that bad. if it was, just have to try to be a better man and not do it again.
if you are female, plot out how you will do it again to a guy, That seems to be how it works.
if you are female, plot out how you will do it again to a guy, That seems to be how it works.
"To be a warrior is not a simple matter of wishing to be one. It is rather an endless struggle that will go on to the very last moment of our lives. Nobody is born a warrior, in exactly the same way that nobody is born an average man. We make ourselves into one or the other."-- Carlos Castaneda
05-30-2022, 11:25 AM
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#17
- EasternHammer
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- EasternHammer
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
The bolded resonated with me. It's so important to go through a process of introspection and really understand what it is in your soul that allowed you to consider doing harm to other people, and then going through with it. Without that understanding it's difficult to see how anyone can really choose to change how they live their lives going forward. So just get ready to put in that work, whether it's in therapy, a religious setting, joing a men's discussion group, etc. Find out exactly what was going on in your heart that made choosing evil seem like the appropriate decision. Only after you do that can you be confident in choosing right in the future.Good for you. srs. on R/C
I would recommend trying to identify why you felt compelled to perform that behavior, and express that to your kids as well so they can anticipate that feeling. Or they can understand why they are being bullied if the shoe is on the other foot, which will help them through it.
Protip, it doesn’t have anything to do with the kid who was bullied. I bet you know that already.
I would recommend trying to identify why you felt compelled to perform that behavior, and express that to your kids as well so they can anticipate that feeling. Or they can understand why they are being bullied if the shoe is on the other foot, which will help them through it.
Protip, it doesn’t have anything to do with the kid who was bullied. I bet you know that already.
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