Good values. Gotta look at the family and culture they were raised in.

A quality woman should also have an instinctual disgust at the thought of posing her ass or cleavage on social media.

This is rare now in the West.

Im not settling man. In fact the contrary which is why i made this thread.

Current girl is perfect so far but yeah, i may be overlooking some pretty obvious red flags. Maybe i was blindsided by her smoking hotness TBH.Im in Mexico, so standards for your area of living are extremely different compared to here. For example a 100k salary is great in the US, BUT in here youd be basically monarchy status making that money in pesos.

Family has a construction company worth a ton and i make around 25k per month on my own on the side. Plus properties, high tech machinery, industrial complex and things like that. I have just been lucky TBH

That is actually a pretty good point. Havent thought of it like that.

1. Combined with Lucifer's point was my perspective. You say you get with high value women all the time....but you dont think you are settling with a girl that is comfortable posting on instagram for attention which would exclude her from being high value in my defintion. So you are in fact settling in this equation.....you say you are not. So perhaps our definition of high value is different.

2. Yes ok......id say your position at your age would put you in the high net worth range.

3. Your point from lucifer's post is related to my point 1

Yes I agree and know men with a lot of options.....and yes many of them cheat.
Correct on the high moral integrity portion.
Actually we dont have to agree to disagree. We agree. They do exist (which was my point to you from the get go).....are they rare? Yes......just like high value women are also rare. High value people in general are just rare period.

Id hedge my bets there are less than 2% of people in the US solely earning 8 figures or more - and of those 2% I couldn't fathom even 10% being women - not because it's not possible, it's just not as likely with where they've come from in the last 100 years to now.

That being said, our brother here is in Chihuahua, MX and quite possibly in an entirely different scenario.

The US being an amazing country, it seems OPs odds at achieving just the weath aspect on its own are less than 1%, let alone all the other margins he tacks in.

This is gonna be a tough goal.

When I say I’m not settling I mean I haven’t made a choice about this girl. She has ticked most of the boxes for me but as I admitted before, maybe I overlooked some important things about her that raise some flags.


A high value girl like the one we are describing, who is attractive as well, will hardly ever accept to share her man, now that would be delusional. Maybe one like the girl from OP would be more open to a non-monogamous man.


I don’t I’m just flirting with that idea. May change in the future

The problem is you have bought into the lie this world has sold you on. Now before you brush my words off as some Christian Conservative CT nut as my typical posts..here me out…long read

Been married 18 yrs to a beautiful woman, seriously she is gorgeous, inside and out (never posting pics). She is everything I prayed for in a woman. A heart for the Lord, stands up for what is right, and truth, beautiful, but does nothing to seek attention, great cook, has a heart for children, the elderly, puts others above herself, but will not be taken advantage of..I can go on and on..point being, I did nothing but wait on The Lord for her to come into my life, and when she did, I knew it was from Him..she is literally an answer to my prayers

You sound like you may have found a good woman, but feel that you will always have an urge to cheat, to experience more and different from what you have....you will, but it's like any other vice, the more you feed it, the stronger it becomes. Think of that old wolf analogy..you have two wolves, Purity and Lust, whichever you feed, give attention, entertain, that is the wolf that will grow stronger and take over the other.

James 1:14
“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
Then, when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”

..it brings forth DEATH. You must realize and remember this, never forget this. Lust brings forth sin, which brings forth death.

Make no mistake about this, a man is tempted when he is drawn away from his own lust, and ultimately brings forth death..and this is the same for all of us. If you give in, something will die, it is always the result of sin, something that would have otherwise thrived and brought forth life will DIE. There will be a degree of “hell” because I’ve given into lust.

Just extrapolate what you feel for those other girls at the bar while with your woman, and expand that out to modern day society. We live in a sex-crazed world. So much so that the world celebrates promiscuous sex to the point that when that sex has conceived life..we parade in the streets and dance and celebrate with intense boastfulness and pride that we have the RIGHT to kill that life. We are saturated with sex and our culture has lost it’s moral bearing, things are so bizarre and only getting worse.

Now I realize this all this perverseness is not just during our time today, and our culture, in fact if you read 1Cor.6, the Apostle Paul is addressing the church in Corinth, whom were struggling with sex and idolatry. Corinth at the time was known as a hot bed of immorality, at the center of the city was a temple dedicated to the Goddess Aphrodite, and every night a thousand prostitutes would leave that temple, “Temple Prostitutes”/“Religious Workers”, & go through the city & engage in sexual acts as a celebration of worship. The whole community was buying into this new kind of “liberated” thinking..to celebrate sexuality that its part of worship & humanity..whatever terminology that we use today, it was the same thinking, the same lie. Paul was writing to a people that lived in a crazy culture, infact, throughout the Roman Empire if you were called a Corinthian it meant you were someone that lived without morals. Paul pulls no punches writing to them, he tells them very clearly..FLEE FORNICATION. Run from it. Don’t be intrigued by it, don’t flirt with it, don’t laugh about it, don’t pay money to watch it, flee fornication. Whether it involves you personally or being projected onto a screen,( Paul’s day a theatre stage) you just..Flee..& GTFO. If someone is grinding up on you, you take your woman’s hand and you GTFO. Someone tries to play eye games with you, you switch places with your woman & don’t even think of turning around, you just do what you have to do, because this world is a fukin battleground & you can either stand up for what is right & be a man of principle, & morals, or you can give into your lust & ultimately destroy yourself & the relationship you could have had, & the person of character you would have been ..to the point of joining the rest of ClownWorld celebrating the joy of promiscuous living & ultimately killing what their lust & sin has conceived...& that death is not just a child, it is your life, your soul, your character, everything good inside of you will ultimately die. Make no mistake about that. I can go on & on, but if you are seeking a virtuous woman that puts her children, you, & morals above her own desires/lust..you need to be a virtuous & man of principle yourself. I can go on and on about what happens to a man or a woman as a result of sexual sin, but this is getting long, I’ll just leave it at this. You can go on and live the life you please, whether it be cheating, sleeping around outside of marriage, living like everyone else in this world and their miserable existence, but I’m telling you it is like a rubber band you can go on, and on, and on, stretch the band but either one of two things will happen, that band breaks and you can maybe call up Magic Johnson to find his remedy, or the band snaps back and leaves a mark on your life that you will never get rid of, and what could have been something beautiful is now tainted and scared forever. Be a fukin man, flee temptation.

Holy cow this thread is a good read, especially when most of the threads on here have gone downhill.

I’ve seen family men on here post that they get temptation to cheat and then they remember their kids and stop.

Banging strange gets old. I didn’t realize it until later in life and now I travel and dine alone and just get booty calls that annoy me.

You can play the field and be non monogamous for 20 more years like me but end up alone now that the kids are going to college. That’s the risk you take, and the risk I took. Now I lay in my own bed alone and it’s my fault.

Banging other guys has caused my daughter to lose respect and it got out to family and friends. It’s pretty humiliating.

Yeah my husband refused sex but still I could have done what the women in Bible Study said to do—be chaste for the sake of my child and pray my husband regains attraction for me. I didn’t

That's the thing. Best case here, Ken-O does some slimy business trip cheating or occasional swinging/non-monogamy, but it's going to have to be with other people who have something to lose. If the first, he's actually Josh Duggar, if the second, he's Jerry Falwell Jr. The common denominator here is that both preyed on women with no means of leaving who were raised from birth to be pickmes. In either case, seems like a terrible position to put a good woman in. I know that's a lot of religious examples but that's the only way you're getting a stay at home daughter courting relationship, which is the only way to wife up a woman like this.

I was drinking with my friend's wife and her friend last Summer, and they are big into Instagram. They were going through their network and trying to think of girls they could set me up with, and came to this one girl who was like 22 with 9000 IG followers. They disqualified her for me based on 9000 followers. It's hilarious to think a girl with 50k can be wrangled in(not a fuking chance).

If your girl has 50k followers, you just gotta live with it and pay attention for signs of her straying. As soon as you see her pulling away before being committed you need to bail.

Reminds me of this song, was never a big Kanye fan but he’s pretty based here, & I imagine the temptation thrown his way that he must endure..some strong lyrics here..


Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A
Hold the selfies, put the 'Gram away
Get your family, y'all hold hands and pray

When you got daughters, always keep 'em safe
Watch out for vipers, don't let them indoctrinate

Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A
You're my number one, with the lemonade
Raise our sons, train them in the faith
Through temptations, make sure they're wide awake
Follow Jesus, listen and obey
No more livin' for the culture, we nobody's slave

Stand up for my home
Even if I take this walk alone
I bow down to the King upon the throne
My life is His, I'm no longer my own
I pray to God that He'll strengthen my hand
They will think twice steppin' onto my land
I draw the line, it's written in the sand
Try me and you will see that I ain't playin'
Now, back up off my family, move your hands
I got my weapons in the spirit's land
I, Jezebel don't even stand a chance
Jezebel don't even stand a chance


https://youtu.be/x2fDbFpoemg(I’ll embed later on phone at the moment)

This right here..

“I pray to God that He'll strengthen my hand
They will think twice steppin' onto my land
I draw the line, it's written in the sand
Try me and you will see that I ain't playin'
Now, back up off my family, move your hands
I got my weapons in the spirit's land
Jezebel don’t even stand a chance”


Based

Damn....this is as real as it gets. Mad respect for being honest and open. Life is definitely a roller coaster ride. I wish the best for you in the future!

To me its a slippery slope however. Lets say you go on a business trip and you engage and keep it a secret. I am a believer that those thoughts, decisions, frames of mind erode into other things. You may not know it but it does. Its part of your character and its really hard to fake it for an entire lifetime and your kids will pick up on those subtle things even though you think you are being sly about it. I have seen it with my business partners. Typically the ones that partake are also the ones that are ok engaging in questionable business tactics as well.

Wtf....almost 300 posts?


It's not that serious.


1. Dump her.
2. Bang women
3. Done.


Why is there so much chatter around an obvious decision? Op is unhappy being tied down, so don't tie yourself down....not rocket science



Don't be a Mexicant, be a Mexican

The dilemma here is that I also want a family, a good woman next to me so we can raise kids and turn them into great future members of society

You spat all of this sense but wouldn’t cheat on your girl because it seems like ‘ a Bitch move’
Wot

I don’t think this is what you genuinely want. I use the word genuine because most wants aren’t. Most are flimsy and just chit we tell ourselves. For example, ask any guy on this sub whether he wants to be rich, and he’ll tell you he does. Or maybe ask him if he wants to live in a large house, he’ll tell you yes. But many of these guys will have neither, and more importantly, they won’t actively be working towards them.

Point is we ALL want typical standard good chit, but it doesn’t really mean anything.

What you really want can be seen in how you live day to day and how you spend your time and so forth.

So, in your case, I think what you genuinely want is to bang hot strange. I think if you try this wife and kids chit with your latest slam piece, it will be doomed to failure because you’ll have to force it, and somewhere down the line you’ll end up straying which will probably lead to a messy divorce.

Good luck with your dinger lifestyle goals of 2022.

Good take. So my problem is this girl, not really monogamy.

Could be.

His take is spot on. But no.....the problem is not the girl.......its just where you are at in life right now. And its not a problem.....but just dont force or fake who you are or are not is what he is saying.

I love his perspective about being rich and successful. That saying is true....."everyone wanna be a beast until its time to do what beast do"
So right now banging hot chicks is a priority over settling down. No problem! It may always be that way with you or maybe your priorities will change.

My only advice is that you should be deeply in tune with your real self and listen to it. I say this because often times people are not.....they fabricate these lies around them to make them feel comfortable (because people generally dont like change). And so they drown out their true self and thats how most people become a shell of who they were (it happens to everyone I believe). Look at kids vs adults.
In the context of women and marraige and priorities changing.....its important to be in tune because if your priorities change and you dont know it.....and you dont figure it out until way later.....it will be much harder to adjust.
Contrary to what most say here, I dont believe most successful men in their 40's actually want to be dealing with a 25 year old girl. Just different mentalities and stages in life. So at that point its super hard to find a woman of high quality and available.....its hard at any age....just exponentially harder later.

Great point.

IMO plenty of people *think* that they want things that aren't their own genuine desires. Either they just believe that is the way to be happy due to the culture, or they haven't thought about it too much.

I went through a period in my 20's of buying holiday related decor and it took me a few years to figure out that in some way I was trying to get the experience by buying the stuff. Now I do still get some holiday things [and I have a crazy amount of accumulated Xmas stuff], but the scale is way way smaller and I'm aware that I'm mostly just marking the passage of seasons and keeping up traditions.^^^
Essentially this.

You can have this and still have some variety in your life IMO, it's not easy but it's possible

Dustin's example of banging tons of people, chasing "strange", is on the other extreme end of the spectrum opposite from total and complete monogamy. Between those extremes exists a more sensible range of longer-term relationships with more than one person, and it's becoming more common nowadays.

What I picture longer term is something more like polygyny, where you're not off banging randoms and engaging in other risky chit -- and that is risky from a range of angles not least of which is bringing a host of problems into your main relationship. But you can have long-term relationships with more than one person.


I've been with my woman for almost 17 years. One of her friends lived with us for like four months last year, I was taking them both out to dinner and to shows and exhibits etc, and it was her friend that started pushing us for what they were calling a "throuple". My woman brought it up one day and then the friend started suggesting we roll into the next Christmas ugly sweater party and introduce ourselves as a throuple. I thought it was working out pretty good but there were some other personal habits that were rubbing my woman the wrong way, so that hasn't worked out yet. But the possibility is still out there.

Yeah that was pretty soul baring to write that. I realized it last night and didn't have a chance to check this thread.

I made my bed and now I live in it, but in reality I don't know if I'm cut out for monogamy. I get annoyed with men quite easily. The last few men my age I dated had CNN on all day or they were super clingy or jealous, so I got really irritated.

At least when I'm on my own I have my own company and as awkward as it is to go to Europe and dine alone, I've been able to meet new men and women who I still keep in touch with from around the world. I perhaps wouldn't meet those people with a SO.

But the loss of respect from friends and family is tough when my "second lifestyle" came out. My daughter is OK with it now due to other circumstances in her life, but it was rough for years.

It's tough to maintain a duel lifestyle as most of the world thinks that I'm happily married. I get tired of it and mostly haven't done much the past few years. I found myself just gaining weight almost like a way to stop myself vs. having the prayer and self control to deal with sexual urges by myself.

Sex is an addiction as the dopamine high is huge, especially with someone new.

Ken-O has to realize he's chasing dopamine highs just like someone does with sugar, alcohol or drugs.Yeah there is a guy at my tennis club named Pedro from Mexico whose wife barely speaks English, and he chases all of the blonde women at the club. He's had affairs with a few and had a baby with one non-blonde woman 20 years his junior. The dude is super aggressive. His nick name is Pepe le Pew lol. His wife really has no way to leave without job or language skills, and he keeps his mistresses out in the open. He's almost 60 now and his daughters are maybe in their 20s and had to watch all of this? I can only imagine the damage across the board.Misc seems to think that men in their 40s will get a 25 year old wife but that's really rare. Most marriages just have a few years age difference. I think the average is the man is 3 years older. Just like I'm not able to get my 25 year old guys more than just FWB. I mean it's different for a woman as they want kids and I'm done with that and don't want more, but still a 25 year old girl who is partying and has 50K followers on Instagram isn't going to relate to a man in his 40s.

I have single friend who is a model with 15K IG followers in her late 20s and she just asked me, "why do men's looks drop off after 30. The men in their 20s are all broke so I want a guy in his mid to late 30s who has money and stability but they don't look good". I'm like hello welcome to aging. I looked my best in my 20s as well. Aging sucks. LOL.

Maybe Ken-O just need to play the field for awhile and then settle down later. It sounds like this woman isn't the one.

Your possibility example is only one sided. Destor....I respect your posts always.....but would you be cool being a "throuple" with another dude and your woman? You'd be totally down for that too? If the answer is yes....then you are being true with yourself and that could and will work for you in the future. If the answer is no, then you are being a "taker" and only being down for something when its more in your benefit.

There's a definite difference here in that I would never live with another guy(s), but I'm the breadwinner and having multiple guys under one roof will not end well because of the way guys are. And I wouldn't raise another guy's kids in a situation like this, although adopting kids from bad situations is always a possibility for the future.

If a girl is the breadwinner and wants multiple dudes, she could try swinging that as well but I think it will be far more difficult.


I have zero problem with the girls doing anything outside of that, living situation and pregnancy is where the only differences exist here. Polygyny is how we would have existed throughout our evolutionary history and it's how animals still exist: guys have multiple mates and provide for multiple families. This idea of banging around and having tons of risky casual sex with random people whose motives you don't understand, that's not what I picture in this type of situation.


If all you want to do is have casual sex with many many different people, I think staying single is the way to go.

The bolded. lol at people here saying that cheaters are high value people. Just because someone is rich and good looking doesn't mean they're a high value person.

Ken, it seems like you are looking for people to tell you it's ok to be a cheater. You're only 30-31? You don't need to rush into marriage if you're not ready to commit. If you're not willing to be monogamous you should be up front with people about that from the beginning. Maybe you'll get lucky and find someone who's willing to live that type of lifestyle. Just remember that if you have children, you'll not only be cheating on their mother but them as well. Kids aren't dumb. They may not pick up on it while young but it seems like they always find out later in life. Do you really want to potentially tear your kids life apart if you get caught?

I also have to lol at you always saying that only people without options don't cheat. This is not true. People who aren't cheaters don't cheat. I was in an unhappy marriage for 15 years (17 total together) and never once thought about cheating. And trust me, if I'd wanted to, I could have.

Seems like he just wants validation from a bunch of gay bbers.

Marriage and family doesn't work unless you're committed to them fully.

Everything else is just human cope and lust

It does seem like that. He's early 30's and it's not like he's been in a long term relationship at this point. There's no reason he'd have to settle down now. He should just stay single and go do what he wants.