There's just nothing you can do i don't understand why i can't find conversation other than tv shows, food and other boring stuff almost everyone is obese too and i just don't get it, after 25 or 30 it's like there is nothing you can do you're just stuck going through the motions forever

Have to keep leaving work early cuz there's literally nothing to do here ans nobody talks about anything but tv shows and work

How are we supposed to do this for another 30 years?

Got bored and went out to spend 1k on a graphics card

There just isn't anything to do as you get older. I can't even remember the last time i felt happy. I just kind of feel meh or depressed all the time. Like i can't get excited for anything anymore and idk why. I just have my personal hobbies and goals to look forward too but it feels pointless since it's only for myself. Like what's the point?

And tbh i just don't know what to say to people. Unless it's about lifting or metal i just don't know what to say. Like what am i gonna do with anyone now that i'm old just walk around and talk about video games or tv shows? Idk why but i don't find it fun. Even like 7 years ago i was getting bored of it but now that i'm older it's way more boring. Literally all i can get it surface based small talk with people too that goes nowhere. Idk why it's like this and seems impossible to get anything beyond that.

Business/money - I had a solid business making consistently 5k-10k a month selling on Amazon. Due to algorithm and TOS changes a year ago, my business got wiped out and had to make major shifts. Although I had spikes where profits were made, my business has been losing money each month for the most part. When I learn new methods to grow my business, I get excited. When they don't work out, I get frustrated. This seems to be a never-ending cycle that drains me. I slowly lose confidence after each disappointment.
Edit: also I put all my emergency money into crypto. Got rekt during the current bear market. Also put some money into LUNA. Got mega rekt.

Family/friends - As a nice guy/pushover I have been used and abused by everyone I ever knew. I enabled it. It's my fault. I hate everyone. I blame my parents. Mainly my father, who had no business having children. He loved mom. Mom cared about having the appearance of a "good family". Dad was a deadbeat and mom had to work two chit jobs. Dad hated this. Instead of looking in the mirror, he blamed me. "If it wasn't for the kids, me and my wife could live a simple decent life." Thinking back on the domestic abuse, he probably wanted me to kill myself so mom did not have to work so hard.
I recall a couple times in my teens crying to my mom. "I hate dad." "I'm gonna kill myself." "Can I go live with grandma (homeland country)." Mom's response: "Every family lives like this, it's not just you." "Everything will get better once time passes." I knew everyone did not live like this. Plenty of families have loving parents. Everything definitely did not get better over time. She lied. Resentment continues to grow as time goes by. 5 years ago, after getting yelled at over nothing by my father, I finally talked back to him. Of course he raged and I was literally going to kill this guy. It's not worth it. If my young self knew how the law worked, I would have at least beat the chit out of him before leaving. Still bugs me to this day.
I continued talking to mom on the phone regularly over the years. I remember the days when we worked as a janitor together when I was in high school. She would work her chit factory job from 7am-3pm while I went to school. Then from 5pm-11pm we would clean a 3 story office building. “You get closer to your comrades when going through war.” We were close. But she did not want to divorce my father. To keep the image of a “good family.” Domestic abuse continued. At the time, I just thought of her as a victim as well. Nope. She was responsible for getting me away from domestic abuse. But maybe I can forgive her. No one is perfect. We went to war together for 4 years. Occasionally during our phone calls, she brings up me forgiving my father. Nope. Asking in a nice, worryful way = acceptable. Asking in a belittling way, literally fuels rage in me. “When are you gonna grow up and make up with your father.” It doesn’t matter how many times we fight. She does the same chit. Mom calls me couple times a week. I ignore most calls. Then get weak and pick up about every month. I need to cut her out of my life. Only thing keeping our relationship on a string is that we went to war together. Every time she calls, is another reminder of the childhood she put me through. I’m not picking up any more calls. Why don’t I have the courage to just block her.
Friends - I have no friends. I hate everyone. I’m a pushover. I have low self-esteem. Or are these thoughts the outcome of having abusive manipulative parents? People have tried to be my friend. Actually I met a lot of good people. I need to be loved so I jestermaxx like a dancing monkey, which makes people lose respect. Now I am the pushover guy.
I have never been in a serious relationship. Two “girlfriends”, but not long term. One I made out with, one I got to smash couple times. I became a stage 100000000 clinger. I needed her. No one else will love me.

Health - Though I never had an amazing diet, I lifted for 10 years and was fairly active throughout my life. Then covid hit. My amazon business boomed. Made a total of 50k in mar/apr 2020. Never made this much money. Gyms closed and everyone was locked in at home. I went all out. Ate junk food all day, everyday, every meal. Never recovered. Tried going to the gym when they opened back up. Got long-covid for 9 months. Almost killed me. Too scared to go to the gym now until covid is over. Gained 30lbs during covid. I feel like chit.

Porn - A short day would be 2 hours of jerking. A long day would be 6 hours. Everyday. Luckily(?) my test levels have dropped since covid because I don’t go to the gym anymore. Or maybe because I’m older. It’s more like every 2-4 days now. Should I be happy my test levels have dropped? I use a fleshlight. I use to own a couple. And bought an auto-blow machine that was posted here on the misc from imbored(lol). Threw them all out when I was trying to fix my life. Ended up buying a fleshlight again. And a fleshlight mount.. $250 while my business is going down the gutter. FML. When I am not using my fleshlight, I use my hand. Turns out, jerking for 6 hours straight every day is not good for your body. I have a muscular imbalance caused by me jerking off with just my right hand. It is so bad that I cannot even walk straight. I literally walk like a handicapped person because of my jerking off. Advice: stretch after a 6 hour jerk off session and rotate with your left hand.

Video games - Never had a big issue before covid era. Had a phase where I went ballistic playing 8-12 hours per day for a couple months, during the early stages of covid era. TBH I don’t think this is all that different from a lot of people. I’m sure everyone has similar or worse story. My problem with video games is fighting/raging at people. Why can I not let go of some troll talking chit. A troll talking chit while gaming has the ability to ruin my day. Literally cringe at myself. Why am I like this..

Dear diary

Solutions:
Business/money - My business will do much better during Christmas time and is still growing. I plan on driving for Amazon Flex to support my income while growing my business back up. Although I’m down bad and have had a string of disappointments, I learned from my 5 years in business: You can only lose so many times before something works.

Family/friends - I was not dealt a good family life. But I can choose and make the decision to grow my own loving family. Focus on being a good person. Friends come and go. Respect yourself first and others will respect you. If they don’t, they aren’t your friend.

Health - Stretch/exercise at least 60 minutes per day. Stop drinking energy drinks and soda. Limit alcohol. Get some sun. Eat a decent diet that isn’t full of chit. This is all basic. You know this. Small habits make big differences when it comes to health.

Porn - I probably can’t fix this anytime soon. At least have better posture where it doesn’t give you muscular imbalances.

Video games - You have successfully fixed minimizing gaming. You went from playing all day, to playing an hour or two per day. Sometimes a bit more, but that’s ok every now and then. Stop taking internet trolls serious.

Anyone else feel like there is just nothing to really do besides lift or play some video games? Seems like there isn't much else. No culture, community, etc. I don't follow anything mainstream anymore so completely out of sync.

You can't even find discussions online or on forums anymore because they are just about politics or Netflix shows

im autistic. i cant interact or have fun with people. So lonely I might just rope this year

There's just nothing to do the only thing I hear at work is about the economy or Netflix like what are we supposed to do lmao

Worked out 10 years before covid era.

Have probably done 5 workouts total since pandemic.

Bought a kettlebell, did some kettlebell swings + burpees

Feel pretty good. Wish I did regular stretches at least.

Hopefully I can get back to a consistent workout routine, even if its in my apartment

Phuk abusive and neglectful parents

Why the phuk did you reproduce if you don’t want your children

I hope u get fking cancer. Gonna throw a lit party right next to your funeral. Rot in hell POS.

I cant relate to people who play on consoles or low end pc's anymore ... I have a 3080ti and my graphics card is so much more advanced, it runs all the games at the highest setting without a sweat. I cant even relate to people with a 3080 because their poverty card only has 10gb of ram. It's kinda sad. I'm like in the 1% of people who own one of the best gpus in the world while everyone else is on these poverty consoles or lesser cards compared to mine. I tried talking to some dude about 4k graphics, but then he games on 1440p .. like how, it's pretty depressing. It's a lonely feeling.

Damn bros what is there to do? I don't drink anymore so going out is pointless. I used to do all kinds of chit and not really look at social media but that isn't possible anymore. Everyone is addicted to it now including myself.

I was off from work this entire week & literally went nowhere. Outside of walking my dog, I didn't leave my house since I have nowhere to go. Life is so damn boring these days. Even playing video games isn't as fun anymore. With most games I get a been there done that feeling where the only difference is the graphics are better. I don't know what to do when I literally have nowhere to go anymore. There's nowhere to drive to by myself & I can just buy everything I need online & I save money that way.

Yeah my depression and anxiety flare up when i get bored so that's a big part of it. But i think i might have a chemical imbalance too because i've lost interest in so many things and like you said it's a been there done that feeling. Like i'm only 33 but feel like i've done everything and have lived for twice that long. Just randomly throughout the day i either get bored or get emotional (anxiety or depression) and i just have to wait for it to go away. Idk how to fix it. Like why did i develop this and how do other people that work soul crushing 9-5 jobs not feel the same way? I just wanna feel baseline normal again. All my blood work came back normal again so idk what it is.

Also agree everything can just be done online now so i've lost interest in going to stores and stuff. You used to have to go to get stuff or rent games and movies etc but not anymore. Gym is always overcrowded too and i can't get a bench there. It's easier to just work out at home.

Literally cried so much since yesterday. What’s the point of living if you don’t have a good family and/or friends.

I only work out at home nowadays. I also feel like I work out harder at home than at the gym. At the gym I just feel like I'm going through the motions way more than when I work out at home. There's just literally nothing to do anymore. I just wonder wtf people do day to day that's so exciting. Going for a drink? Going to the beach? Watching TV/Movies? Gaming? I don't understand how people can still get excited over things they've done literally hundreds or thousands of times already. I just feel like I'm going through the motions with everything.

Yeah people say depression is just a mood disorder where your mood has a lower base level than normal, but it doesn't explain how people enjoy doing the same mundane work and activities repeatedly every single day. My depression goes away if i can take my mind off it or something random/different pops up but it comes right back when i have to the do the same things. Idk man.

I feel like stuff has gotten way more boring too like there's nothing online to really do anymore and irl has gotten a lot more boring. Entertainment has declined significantly as well. There's just nothing to really do.

Yeah, entertainment has gotten a lot worse in recent years. Even with gaming games nowadays just have the same gameplay mechanics used for years now but just the graphics in games are better. There's just nothing to do anymore. The only thing I feel like I'd want to do at this point is travel but I don't have the money to just go around traveling the world. I also have no one to go with either so it would be boring alone as well. I just don't know man. There's not even anywhere in my area I can travel to. Going to the mall is pointless since I can buy everything I need online & save money on gas. I think maybe if I had a better job that I actually enjoyed doing & had a social life than maybe things wouldn't feel as boring. The people I know either live too far or married or in relationships. I'm just going through the motions since there's nothing to do.

Thing is even socializing is boring now. There's no culture. Nothing to really do that hasn't been said a million times. People talk about the same few topics. Everyone just in their own little world on social media.

I travel alone and honestly it's better than being with an annoying person. Just go on shorter trips if you can't afford Europe or something. You need something in life to look forward to.

I'm just not the type of person that can go places I've never been to alone though. I'd feel so bored & isolated. Where do you travel alone?

Damn I lifted and now I'm just sitting here playing halo infinite cuz there's just nothing else to do

Then another 40 hour work week basically working alone coming up

Yeah it's true, I noticed this in the 2010's, like everyone is just wrapped up in their own little bubbles 24/7 and the only chit they want to talk about is related to the little world they're living in, and if you can't relate there's no point in trying to associate.

Honestly it's not like things are much better if you are married and have a family/kids either. My sister is married with kids and she seems to be miserable half the time, looking for any excuse she can to take off on trips and vacations on her own or with one of her kids or something.

I think a lot of people make the mistake of assuming other people will give them happiness or fulfillment, and that can work for a while, but it always seems to fade away. You can't ever lose sight of how happiness comes from within, and being able to enjoy your own company is key to fulfillment. As long as you look to others to give your life meaning you will always come up short.

It's why I don't really care much to be in a relationship anymore. I used to be obsessed for years with wanting a g/f now I really don't care most of the time anymore. It's just too difficult to date these days & I almost feel I'm better off alone. It's just when I get older it would be depressing being alone & old though. I just wish I had a social life though but I feel that ship has sailed. It's impossible to meet new people that have a lot of free time after a certain point.

I really hate the mood swings I get. I can feel fine one moment than just crash down. I feel I need caffeine to try to gain more energy. Without it I just feel so sluggish. It sucks where the only time of day I usually feel normal is late at night. I wake up than the cycle repeats of just never knowing how I'm going to feel.