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post 1666261603 08-17-2022, 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11
Thanks. Yea I asked her fairly quick after she texted she was thinking about kissing me. I felt like showing interest rather than playing games and waiting..

Anyways, she just texted me after 8 hours and the reply is hard for me to believe. She basically said “oh! How did I not see this? I’m so sorry. I thought you never replied lol”
Is it just me or does that seem far fetched to believe? How would she not see a text to begin with if she cared about potential plans, and wouldn’t she double check after a few hours.. she is a busy girl and I think can be a bit scatterbrained at times but it still seems unlikely she wouldn’t see it or double check it.

I do understand she worked kind of crazy hours from super early morning but she got off at noon today. First time I’m getting weird vibes. Anyways, I’m feeling like not replying to her until tomorrow. What the hell am I supposed to reply to that with..
Don’t want to act too bitter/petty since she hasn’t done this before but it kind of makes me believe her less.
May just let it go and say “no worries, have a good night” and let her reach out to me next.
I've missed texts here and there but not usually from someone I'm dating and not that long of a time period. Like maybe an hour or two. I'd do what you said, just hit her with the no worries, good night. Unfortunately you don't know if she's being honest or not. I'd just pay attention to her actions from here on out and see how it goes. If she acts uninterested in meeting up or starts taking a while to respond then I'd guess she's not that interested.
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post 1666265433 08-17-2022, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11
Thanks. Yea I asked her fairly quick after she texted she was thinking about kissing me. I felt like showing interest rather than playing games and waiting..

Anyways, she just texted me after 8 hours and the reply is hard for me to believe. She basically said “oh! How did I not see this? I’m so sorry. I thought you never replied lol”
Is it just me or does that seem far fetched to believe? How would she not see a text to begin with if she cared about potential plans, and wouldn’t she double check after a few hours.. she is a busy girl and I think can be a bit scatterbrained at times but it still seems unlikely she wouldn’t see it or double check it.

I do understand she worked kind of crazy hours from super early morning but she got off at noon today. First time I’m getting weird vibes. Anyways, I’m feeling like not replying to her until tomorrow. What the hell am I supposed to reply to that with..
Don’t want to act too bitter/petty since she hasn’t done this before but it kind of makes me believe her less.
May just let it go and say “no worries, have a good night” and let her reach out to me next.
Originally Posted By Legz422
I've missed texts here and there but not usually from someone I'm dating and not that long of a time period. Like maybe an hour or two. I'd do what you said, just hit her with the no worries, good night. Unfortunately you don't know if she's being honest or not. I'd just pay attention to her actions from here on out and see how it goes. If she acts uninterested in meeting up or starts taking a while to respond then I'd guess she's not that interested.
People are attached to their phones 24/7 nowadays. Are there periods of time throughout the day where we are away from your phones (gym, hobbies, work meetings), yes. But if somebody is consistently taking hours to respond they're just not that interested and it’s best to move on.

Pain, hopefully for you this was just an honest mistake from her but if it continues I’d take a step back.
post 1666266393 08-17-2022, 09:40 AM
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#6033
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Originally Posted By antman12
People are attached to their phones 24/7 nowadays. Are there periods of time throughout the day where we are away from your phones (gym, hobbies, work meetings), yes. But if somebody is consistently taking hours to respond they're just not that interested and it’s best to move on.

Pain, hopefully for you this was just an honest mistake from her but if it continues I’d take a step back.
I agree. When I'm REALLY interested in the guy I'm checking my phone nonstop for a message from him. If he's not reciprocating the interest, then I just move on.
Originally Posted By elterrible987
omg terrible. my hook up from a few months ago hit me up today but problem is we are both tops. sucks as there is a real mutual attraction but we both want to be top
LOL. You can't beat an el terrible trolling.

Have you tried trannies yet?
post 1666266443 08-17-2022, 09:40 AM
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#6034
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Originally Posted By antman12
People are attached to their phones 24/7 nowadays. Are there periods of time throughout the day where we are away from your phones (gym, hobbies, work meetings), yes. But if somebody is consistently taking hours to respond they're just not that interested and it’s best to move on.

Pain, hopefully for you this was just an honest mistake from her but if it continues I’d take a step back.
True bro your first statement is exactly why I didn’t believe her. But this is the first time she’s done it so I’ll cut some slack. I’ll just see how she acts moving forward. Plus she was working very early hours and just reiterated that and said she was exhausted. I think she could have been sleeping all day and was embarrassed to say, but who knows. I do understand being tired from work and then detaching from the phone a bit.

I text her this AM “Ah gotcha. No worries! Have a good day” and she told me she had been up early, very tired etc. So I just said totally I figured you were up really early. Hopefully you got some needed rest.
post 1666267833 08-17-2022, 10:04 AM
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#6035
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Originally Posted By Legz422
I've missed texts here and there but not usually from someone I'm dating and not that long of a time period. Like maybe an hour or two. I'd do what you said, just hit her with the no worries, good night. Unfortunately you don't know if she's being honest or not. I'd just pay attention to her actions from here on out and see how it goes. If she acts uninterested in meeting up or starts taking a while to respond then I'd guess she's not that interested.
Agreed. Gonna give her the benefit of the doubt this time especially because I know she was up super early for work. Since it’s the first time I’ll just watch the signs from now on. Her effort has been good before this.
post 1666269633 08-17-2022, 10:35 AM
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#6036
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11
Thanks. Yea I asked her fairly quick after she texted she was thinking about kissing me. I felt like showing interest rather than playing games and waiting..

Anyways, she just texted me after 8 hours and the reply is hard for me to believe. She basically said “oh! How did I not see this? I’m so sorry. I thought you never replied lol”
Is it just me or does that seem far fetched to believe? How would she not see a text to begin with if she cared about potential plans, and wouldn’t she double check after a few hours.. she is a busy girl and I think can be a bit scatterbrained at times but it still seems unlikely she wouldn’t see it or double check it.

I do understand she worked kind of crazy hours from super early morning but she got off at noon today. First time I’m getting weird vibes. Anyways, I’m feeling like not replying to her until tomorrow. What the hell am I supposed to reply to that with..
Don’t want to act too bitter/petty since she hasn’t done this before but it kind of makes me believe her less.
May just let it go and say “no worries, have a good night” and let her reach out to me next.
Making plans only one day in advance may no be the way to go but otherwise you're overthinking it.

Even if you are right and she's not as invested as you or a scatterbrain or w/e, analyzing everything won't change anything or help at all.

It's natural for our feelings to ebb and flow, to want attention one day and want a little space the next. As long as she continues to make plans to see you and/or communicate accordingly I would keep rolling with it.
post 1666269773 08-17-2022, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Skezo
So had a gf of 4 months that ended things 2 weeks ago. She thought about it the week before then we talked and she spent the night two nights in a row then bailed on me for weekends plans and I got pissed and we argued. Then silence for a day, followed by I just need space, then 10 mins later some minor things that were bothering her, then a I really like you but don't think I want to be in a relationship right now - all over text. It seemed like she was extremely unsure of what she wanted. We were spending the night together a lot and think I got a bit too into it too quick and she got hesitant.

Last week she asked about coming to get her stuff and said she'd bring back all mine, I told her what day would work and she said that will probably work - I'll let you know. Never heard anything and I didn't ask. Got some random snapchats from her when she was drinking this weekend, but still nothing about exchanging our stuff and I don't know what to think about it?
Spent two nights in a row during the week and expected to be hanging out the majority of the weekend too?
Unless you already live with an SO that's a lot of time to be spending together. Seems like you need to have more of your own stuff going on.

I'd also say the fact that she breaks up with you and then sends you snaps partying is a red flag in that she's not allowing you a clean break and trying to keep you around in case she changes her mind.
post 1666271023 08-17-2022, 11:02 AM
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#6038
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88
Making plans only one day in advance may no be the way to go but otherwise you're overthinking it.

Even if you are right and she's not as invested as you or a scatterbrain or w/e, analyzing everything won't change anything or help at all.

It's natural for our feelings to ebb and flow, to want attention one day and want a little space the next. As long as she continues to make plans to see you and/or communicate accordingly I would keep rolling with it.
Thank you man, I agree. It’s funny I usually don’t try to make plans that quick. When she texted that she was thinking about kissing me, it caused me to think I better make plans so she knows I’m interested and want to see her too, but the better play was to be patient and let her wait. I feel kind of dumb for rushing it now since things were going well before.
post 1666272753 08-17-2022, 11:38 AM
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#6039
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11
Thank you man, I agree. It’s funny I usually don’t try to make plans that quick. When she texted that she was thinking about kissing me, it caused me to think I better make plans so she knows I’m interested and want to see her too, but the better play was to be patient and let her wait. I feel kind of dumb for rushing it now since things were going well before.
I see what you're saying but hypothetically speaking, if you reacting to her "high-level-of-interest" text was a subsequent "high-level-of-interest" text and it ended up turning her off or causing her to lose interest for some reason, then I'd argue she is a little too emotionally unstable/immature and you're better off finding a woman who recognizes what you bring to the table aside from the emotional high she craves when you meet someone new and prioritizes getting to know you more accordingly.

That being said, there is a good chance all is perfectly fine still and you're just overthinking/overreacting.
post 1666279293 08-17-2022, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88
I see what you're saying but hypothetically speaking, if you reacting to her "high-level-of-interest" text was a subsequent "high-level-of-interest" text and it ended up turning her off or causing her to lose interest for some reason, then I'd argue she is a little too emotionally unstable/immature and you're better off finding a woman who recognizes what you bring to the table aside from the emotional high she craves when you meet someone new and prioritizes getting to know you more accordingly.

That being said, there is a good chance all is perfectly fine still and you're just overthinking/overreacting.
Great points. I think things will still be fine. I think we’ve built up a good connection so far and I hope, as you said, she’s reasonably mature/stable so it won’t change anything.
She’s gone this weekend and I’m feeling like I’m getting a cold. I’ll probably try to schedule something ahead of time for later next week so we don’t go too long without hanging out.
post 1666288093 08-17-2022, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted By antman12
People are attached to their phones 24/7 nowadays. Are there periods of time throughout the day where we are away from your phones (gym, hobbies, work meetings), yes.But if somebody is consistently taking hours to respond they're just not that interested and it’s best to move on.

Pain, hopefully for you this was just an honest mistake from her but if it continues I’d take a step back.
That's basically what I said at the end of my post you quoted.
Originally Posted By InsanePain11
Agreed. Gonna give her the benefit of the doubt this time especially because I know she was up super early for work. Since it’s the first time I’ll just watch the signs from now on. Her effort has been good before this.
Yeah that's really all you can do at this point. Pay attention to her actions, not just her words.
Originally Posted By skinnyfat88
Making plans only one day in advance may no be the way to go but otherwise you're overthinking it.

Even if you are right and she's not as invested as you or a scatterbrain or w/e, analyzing everything won't change anything or help at all.

It's natural for our feelings to ebb and flow, to want attention one day and want a little space the next. As long as she continues to make plans to see you and/or communicate accordingly I would keep rolling with it.
I really don't see a problem with asking, even if short notice. She could just say she isn't available and suggest another day/time.
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post 1666290293 08-17-2022, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88
Spent two nights in a row during the week and expected to be hanging out the majority of the weekend too?
Unless you already live with an SO that's a lot of time to be spending together. Seems like you need to have more of your own stuff going on.

I'd also say the fact that she breaks up with you and then sends you snaps partying is a red flag in that she's not allowing you a clean break and trying to keep you around in case she changes her mind.
Yeah some weeks it Was Fri, Sat, Sun, Tuesday, Thursday. A lot way too early. I finally talked to her today. She kinda said things were going way to fast for her and it made her realize she wasn't ready for a serious relationship. The chemistry and sex was def really really good and I just kinda quit doing my own thing, partly because we always stayed up so late and got up early and I was exhausted. She said it wouldn't have mattered if things went slower cause she just wasn't ready but not sure I really believe that... coming on super strong like I did will turn off most women unless they are in get married make baby mode asap.

Agree about our stuff we have at each others places. Didn't talk about exchanging it at all, think she just wants to keep it as an excuse to see me. I said we could just hangout sometime and she seemed very down for that.
post 1666297303 08-17-2022, 06:50 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422
I really don't see a problem with asking, even if short notice. She could just say she isn't available and suggest another day/time.
If I went back I’d probably ask to plan something a couple days out. But when she sent me the flirtatious text about kissing I didn’t want to show a lack of urgency/interest. Also the part that irked me just a little was that she did reply in the AM before work, saying she’s getting off at 12. That sort of implied to me she was down to meet. Then the big delay happened, but I understand she was tired.

Anyways it sucks but I’m feeling sick and don’t think I’ll see her for a week at least. I’ll shoot her a text here and there to keep in touch. She’s leaving this weekend anyways.
post 1666311883 08-18-2022, 02:21 AM
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So guys I finally had a date with the hispanic chick and it was strange. She was love bombing me via text for the last week and w/e just seemed like your typical chick with high attraction. We met today and my birthday is coming up and she got me a gift and card (I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to react). I just said thanks that so nice, I put it in my car to open later.

Anyways I'm still learning spanish and I'm not great which made for some awkward moments, I made this abundantly clear beforehand as it actually quite easier for me to write in spanish than to speak it. I did get her to laugh several times and we had dinner however it just seemed like she was suddenly not that into me as I had to carry the conversation in a language I'm like in a juvenile stage of speaking. She seemed like she was distracted and perhaps had something going on at home.

We had been texting regularly, should I pull back based on her performance at the date? Should I bring it up and discuss it? Honestly I usually trust my gut but these days things are so confusing. I've had chicks I though weren't that into me fall in love with me and I've had chicks who seemed like they were obsessed with me ghost me
post 1666311953 08-18-2022, 02:26 AM
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Originally Posted By Legz422
Has nothing to do with insecurity. It's showing low/no interest if you wait 6 days.
maybe you're right but Idk, I've been ghosting after texting back only days after a seemingly good date as well

if you REALLY liked a guy and he waited 6 days instead of 2 or 3 to text you and ask you out again would you really hold that against him? maybe it would be offensive if you thought you were above the person
post 1666333273 08-18-2022, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted By Azrairc
maybe you're right but Idk, I've been ghosting after texting back only days after a seemingly good date as well

if you REALLY liked a guy and he waited 6 days instead of 2 or 3 to text you and ask you out again would you really hold that against him? maybe it would be offensive if you thought you were above the person
Why would you wait 2-3 days, let alone 6 to send a girl a simple text message. For example, if you go on a date Friday night, there's nothing wrong with texting her the next day a simple "I had a nice time last night, lets try and go out again sometime". Thats not being needy... thats just simply showing interest.
post 1666345543 08-18-2022, 03:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Azrairc
So guys I finally had a date with the hispanic chick and it was strange. She was love bombing me via text for the last week and w/e just seemed like your typical chick with high attraction. We met today and my birthday is coming up and she got me a gift and card (I was kinda shocked and didn't know how to react). I just said thanks that so nice, I put it in my car to open later.

Anyways I'm still learning spanish and I'm not great which made for some awkward moments, I made this abundantly clear beforehand as it actually quite easier for me to write in spanish than to speak it. I did get her to laugh several times and we had dinner however it just seemed like she was suddenly not that into me as I had to carry the conversation in a language I'm like in a juvenile stage of speaking. She seemed like she was distracted and perhaps had something going on at home.

We had been texting regularly, should I pull back based on her performance at the date? Should I bring it up and discuss it? Honestly I usually trust my gut but these days things are so confusing. I've had chicks I though weren't that into me fall in love with me and I've had chicks who seemed like they were obsessed with me ghost me
I literally said that girls falling for you too quickly are weird af 99% of the time

I would say just proceed as normal, you may be overthinking it, she may be overthinking ****, who knows

Thinking this much about a girl after 1 date is lolzy

also, you ALWAYS text the girl afterwards you had a good time or this or that, ask if she got home etc.

tf would you wait 6 days for?
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post 1666353923 08-18-2022, 06:11 PM
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#6048
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Originally Posted By antman12
Why would you wait 2-3 days, let alone 6 to send a girl a simple text message. For example, if you go on a date Friday night,there's nothing wrong with texting her the next day a simple "I had a nice time last night, lets try and go out again sometime". Thats not being needy... thats just simply showing interest.
Originally Posted By xbluexhawkx
I literally said that girls falling for you too quickly are weird af 99% of the time

I would say just proceed as normal, you may be overthinking it, she may be overthinking ****, who knows

Thinking this much about a girl after 1 date is lolzy

also, you ALWAYS text the girl afterwards you had a good time or this or that, ask if she got home etc.

tf would you wait 6 days for?
It's the stupid games you guys are told to play. As if there's something wrong with letting someone know you enjoyed meeting them, had a good time and would like to see them again. lol
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post 1666362293 08-18-2022, 09:10 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422
It's the stupid games you guys are told to play. As if there's something wrong with letting someone know you enjoyed meeting them, had a good time and would like to see them again. lol
in my experience a women that really likes you will text and and the conversation will continue indefinitely, outside of that nothing really works. texting after the date or waiting days (yes I've done both)
post 1666363203 08-18-2022, 09:32 PM
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Originally Posted By Legz422
It's the stupid games you guys are told to play. As if there's something wrong with letting someone know you enjoyed meeting them, had a good time and would like to see them again. lol



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post 1666366063 08-18-2022, 10:58 PM
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Originally Posted By iloveus



It seems like many of you are in agreement so I will try it out and report back on the results.
post 1666369843 08-19-2022, 02:57 AM
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Originally Posted By Legz422
It's the stupid games you guys are told to play. As if there's something wrong with letting someone know you enjoyed meeting them, had a good time and would like to see them again. lol
Yeah I remember a guy texted me that he had a nice time on our date but he belt bad because he was supposed to wait 3 days to send that text lol.
post 1666381113 08-19-2022, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted By DustinTheHuss
Yeah I remember a guy texted me that he had a nice time on our date but he belt bad because he was supposed to wait 3 days to send that text lol.
If a girl texted me back after 3 days I would've texted her, "You were gone so long. I was about send a rescue team to search for you"

I'd send that as a joke
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post 1666381413 08-19-2022, 09:39 AM
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Originally Posted By iloveus
If a girl texted me back after 3 days I would've texted her, "You were gone so long. I was about send a rescue team to search for you"

I'd send that as a joke
LMAO. People play the dumbest dating games and they just fall flat on their face. I always thank the guy right after the date for drinks or dinner, even if we split.
post 1666512393 08-21-2022, 03:25 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88
Spent two nights in a row during the week and expected to be hanging out the majority of the weekend too?
Unless you already live with an SO that's a lot of time to be spending together. Seems like you need to have more of your own stuff going on.

I'd also say the fact that she breaks up with you and then sends you snaps partying is a red flag in that she's not allowing you a clean break and trying to keep you around in case she changes her mind.
Not just of her partying. Sometimes it's random dumb stuff. Like got one at 2:30 in the morning the other night, where I know she had been out drinking from an earlier one she sent me and then in the late night one it's just her and her roommate hanging out. 2 weeks and she hasn't mentioned getting her clothes again. Had an actual conversation with her a few days ago and I ended it with maybe we should just hangout sometime and she seemed pretty down, but we didn't make an actual plans to.

Obviously I still want her and she was so undecided on whether to end things or not but it was too much for her too soon. Guess I did try to force the relationship faster for a while when I thought she might be moving an hour away and I wanted to be totally sure it was worth continuing but she actually ended up staying, partly because of me.
post 1666513093 08-21-2022, 03:41 PM
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#6056
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Originally Posted By iloveus
If a girl texted me back after 3 days I would've texted her, "You were gone so long. I was about send a rescue team to search for you"

I'd send that as a joke
nah, just don't reply

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post 1666533543 08-21-2022, 11:01 PM
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ghosted again. feel like trash
post 1666560253 08-22-2022, 12:21 PM
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feel like im losing my ability to pairbond as i get older and my heart gets broken over and over. i just dont feel for girls the same way I used to.
post 1666564193 08-22-2022, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted By imbored21
feel like im losing my ability to pairbond as i get older and my heart gets broken over and over. i just dont feel for girls the same way I used to.
I started feeling like this around age 26. Idk whats wrong with me. I just can't connect with people anymore. Any time I try to talk to people I just get weird vibes and wanna be alone again.
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post 1666571713 08-22-2022, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted By eod8989
I started feeling like this around age 26. Idk whats wrong with me. I just can't connect with people anymore. Any time I try to talk to people I just get weird vibes and wanna be alone again.
Originally Posted By imbored21
feel like im losing my ability to pairbond as i get older and my heart gets broken over and over. i just dont feel for girls the same way I used to.
You both need to use betterhelp.com

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