I got curious today and came onto this site. Holy ****. LOL. It is public again. I see the same people here. Hope everyone is doing great!

Hey there! Yeah they opened Misc up a couple weeks ago. How have you been?

lemme sniff the coochie hoar

Hanging out with most recent ex next week. Been a month since we will have seen eachother...idk how to behave (I was super into her, too much so).

How much was this hooker charging?

Or was it a land whale?

I'm good. Thank you! I lost my misc access when it went private. I didn't ask for access back though. I thought it might be private forever.

How are you doing? Are you still with the last guy? Sorry, I have not read the thread since misc became private.

Oh wow, I didn't realize it had been that long since you'd posted. Glad you're good! I am not. That ended over a year ago and I've been with my current bf since Dec. He just met my mom. First guy I've introduced to her in 26 years. lol

Wow. That is a big step. How did it go? Does your mom like him? So happy for you!

It went really well and yes she does like him. Thanks!

Damn. The girl had to cancel on me for our hike date. She explained that her boss asked her (today) to stay later and learn this new system over there. While she was apologetic and I wasn’t upset over the act of canceling, I responded in a very understanding way, BUT she didn’t suggest any other time for new plan. She just keeps telling me details about the work situation.

Either she’s oblivious that this makes me think she doesn’t care about rescheduling, or she is just not on the same page as me. I don’t plan to suggest further dates since I’m feeling like she’s not communicating well. I would think she’d be more into setting up plans if she wanted, so I’m just going to assume she’s focused on too much other stuff whether it’s guys, work, other stuff.

I still want to add her ig to see what she posts there, but I don’t know.
I want to remain in a good mental state and happy when girls disappoint like this so I’m gonna try. Just asked another girl for a date tues. But my mind is still pushing me to focus on the same girl. I’ll just have to adjust. Any thoughts appreciated.
If she doesn’t suggest plans this coming week I’m considering just not contacting her OR telling her straight up it feels like we’re not on the same page.

Added*
Lastly, I’m too curious so I think I’ll just add her ig. Might save me some time. Any objections before I do?

It’s not good that I feel so bad and deflated just because of feeling like my effort isn’t reciprocated. I do this when I start liking someone and then things start to not work out. Need to change this sh!t.

Update: she did just ask if we can reschedule this coming week.

Maybe somebody here can help you word it correctly but id pull back. Let her initiate and plan the next hangout. Since she asked to reschedule make her chase and set that up. One of the best pieces of advice ive read is if somebody is truly interested they're going to make it easy for you.

Did she have her IG name in her dating profile? That's always a red flag for me not going to lie.

I agree with this. If someone is really into you they'll make it very easy to see them. At this point I'd prob pull back and let her do the initiating.

antman said it pretty well.

all i'll add is when women do this chit it just turns me off now.
my experience, majority of the time when they cancel and don't try to reschedule they are not interested or another dude is in the picture.
if it is another dude they will come back when it doesn't work out but at that point i tell them to come over for drinks which is code for "i'm done wasting time on you so you can either come over and fuk or lose my number."

Thanks Antman. Yea maybe I should have let her chase, but she enthusiastically asked to reschedule and I reciprocated and nailed down Tuesday for our hike. (I was being a worry wart before she asked to make new plans) She is pretty quick to commit when we make plans and that was the first time she cancelled, and her reason seemed legit.

To answer your question, NO she doesn’t have her ig handle on her profile. She is on hinge and tinder though, I don’t like that she’s on tinder but I can’t be too hypocritical since that’s where we reconnected (we had matched before on hinge previously). Also she has a good bio, says looking for friend first/and relationship etc, not slutty and no slutty photos. Thing is, I deleted my tinder after a couple days and after we matched and I got her #, i just could not stand being on there. It bothers me that she’s on there.

I think I’m going to also add her on ig this weekend.

i think it's time you just move on and not add her on social media.

Why would I move on from her when she’s been showing enthusiasm and we have our 5th date setup Tuesday, and we’ve been getting along pretty great?

I agree I should see other girls because we aren’t officially a couple, but it makes no sense to me why I should just “move on”.

I say give it another shot and have that talk with her. Also, did you decide to check out her IG?

after becoming more selective and only swiping on girls I would actually date, i get 0 matches across all apps.

Yea i agree, I don’t see a reason to not continue pursuing. There has been many positives also so far even though I’m still learning about her and have valid questions/concerns.
I will bring up some of the questions on our date, (gonna switch it to a food/drinks date instead of a 2nd hike)- and based on those answers and what I see on ig, I’ll decide then if I’m gonna bring up exclusivity (but not officially a relationship)

Ah fuk it, I think I’ll just add her (she’s on private mode so I won’t see her profile until she confirms)

Alright here it goes, I added her and vice versa.

Here’s my brief analysis of her IG:

Pros:
-Family oriented
-Really no revealing pics like a lot of girls have
-positive messaging
-pics of her dog
- her followers are not as many dudes as I expected, it’s many business accounts, girlfriends and some guys friends.

Cons:
-wow, tons of pics of her past relationships (over time) 2 ex boyfriends
-even a few really old nice text messages from her ex to her (weird imo)
-she’s still following one of her older exes

Thoughts: for me, having your past relationships out in the open still is poison to any new potential relationship. This has affected me in my past relationships negatively. I’ve seen this before with other girls and it makes no sense to me.

I’m still planning to take her out Tuesday night, but I’m definitely not asking her to be exclusive. And I’m going to be upfront and honest about what I’m looking for and why it doesn’t seem like she’s ready for me based on what she has public. I’m interested to see how she responds.
I’ll still be open to her if she’s understanding but I could conceivably see this ending Tues.

Has Luci been around? This forum is so dead. He was one of the good ones.

I was a little nervous for you and the IG add haha. Seems to have gone better than expected tbh. But yea the ex boyfriend pics are really weird and off putting. Unfortunately, regardless of how well you articulate it she’s going to think your being insecure about it. Maybe Legs can help you little with that.

She seems like a good catch but not ready for something serious yet. Like you said, take her out and discuss it. See how she responds and proceed from there.

Thanks Antman, I was also not optimistic and a bit anxious about what I’d see. I usually am disappointed when I’ve added girls in the past. On the bright side she is still in the picture and didn’t have huge dealbreakers besides potentially the recent ex, time will tell.

When I do eventually bring it up, I won’t be shaming her but rather letting her know my boundary with the past pics. I can certainly empathize with her going through a breakup, my last one was brutal. I might hold off and be patient because I think she could be worth it. If she eventually starts to like me a lot and makes it clear that she wants a relationship with me, that may be a good time to bring up the pics. (Some of the pics obviously are a bit mushy, typical bf/gf stuff- I totally get why she’d post them at the time but like I said it only does harm to a new relationship). Fact is, I will never date her officially if she doesn’t delete them, and there’s lots of them.

I’ll be gentle at first but eventually I think she would respect my boundaries if she is mature enough. As for our upcoming date, I’ll have to think on which issues I’ll bring up and what my approach will be..

How long has it been since her last relationship ended? And how long were they together?

They were together 4 years and it ended 7 months ago. So in my view she’s not fully over it. She downplays it when she explained it to me but I’m sure it still hurts. I noticed a bunch of pics with very strong captions about how much she loves him..Leads me to believe she must be dealing with a lot of heartache still. It took me like over a year to start getting over my ex of 6 years, but everyone’s different and every relationship is unique so who knows..

Her other relationship with another guy who she has tons of pics with from years ago, lasted I think 7 years. She mentioned to me on our second date that she met him for dinner fairly recently and that it went badly and she said she shouldn’t have done that. This dinner was before we met.

Edit: After looking through her ig a bit more, I do think it’s possible this will be too much to deal with re: baggage. I also noticed just 2-3 months ago not one but both exes liked her selfie pic. She’s following both of them and they follow her. So..I’m not the type to deal with a girl if she’s leading her exes on and keeping them around. Not optimistic at this point that we could work out. I could be patient and see how things go but I’m starting to think she’s not ready and mature enough for someone like me.
I do think she’s pretty great in a lot of ways so I’m disappointed. I can stay patient if I think she’d be worth it but she’s putting too much baggage out there. At this point I don’t know where to start if I meet her on Tuesday… what do you think about just telling her it seems like she’s not over her past and maybe we just met at the wrong time. I’ve worked through my past and i don’t bring it into new relationships..

I mean, I don’t think it’s insecurity, it’s just fair to point out how it’s obvious she has not fully dealt with her past.

I haven’t seen him. Im not sure what happened with the misc bc I was gone for a while. I guess it was shut down? Hopefully he comes back.

who setup the new date after she bailed?
did you reach out or did she?

She asked me to reschedule right after she apologized for cancelling because of work.

How old is she that's she's had 11 years worth of relationships already? I think it does sound like she's not over the ex yet. I'd feel the same as you. I wouldn't be happy with the exes being on her IG and her still posting stuff about them. The only reason I can see for keeping an ex on social media/keeping pics is if you have kids with that person and it's family photos.