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Matches have pretty much died ³
Thread: Matches have pretty much died ³
09-04-2022, 09:59 AM
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#6181
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Appreciate the thought, but Honestly I think that comes off as way too nice. The ball has been in her court to reply and I shouldn’t have to nudge her at this point. Already asked her to let me know when we texted fri night.Maybe just text and say good morning or Happy Sunday or something, ask how her weekend is so far and get a convo going? Then get around to asking about today?
09-04-2022, 10:40 AM
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#6182
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
Hey bro hope I didn’t make your advice disappear because I went another direction this time. I do think I should have waited a few more days at least. right or wrong, I wanted to text her to partly let her know I’m still willing to see her and she can have time.Pressuring her to get rid of her friends or exes?
Are you comfortable if she stays legit friends with these guys and are you willing to discuss where the boundary will lie?
Deleting those posts is obviously one line you've drawn but there may be more.
I'd give it like 2 weeks (because it's a lot to process on her end) at which point say something like "Hey I know we had a bit of a serious convo last time we saw each other. Just following up to see where your head is at following that?"
Mentioning insecurities could be viewed as gaslighting but in her defense, it's tough to take all that in at once and natural to be a little defensive so we'll see how things pan out next time you two speak.
I agree it's a healthy boundary and not an insecurity but at the same time if someone thought I had an insecurity I'd want to talk about it and help eachother understand our points of view. Doesn't bother me if someone thinks on the surface level I have an insecurity. Having the odd insecurity isn't the end of the world and make us sissies or w/e.
Are you comfortable if she stays legit friends with these guys and are you willing to discuss where the boundary will lie?
Deleting those posts is obviously one line you've drawn but there may be more.
I'd give it like 2 weeks (because it's a lot to process on her end) at which point say something like "Hey I know we had a bit of a serious convo last time we saw each other. Just following up to see where your head is at following that?"
Mentioning insecurities could be viewed as gaslighting but in her defense, it's tough to take all that in at once and natural to be a little defensive so we'll see how things pan out next time you two speak.
I agree it's a healthy boundary and not an insecurity but at the same time if someone thought I had an insecurity I'd want to talk about it and help eachother understand our points of view. Doesn't bother me if someone thinks on the surface level I have an insecurity. Having the odd insecurity isn't the end of the world and make us sissies or w/e.
I can only put my best foot forward from here on out. So because I invited her I’m just going to see how today goes and then plan something else (if she can’t come over today) when the time is right. If she doesn’t come today I will very likely just wait until she reaches out.
09-04-2022, 10:47 AM
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#6183
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
No. No. No. Like you said, the ball is in her court. No need to text her again to plan another time. I don't even do that with my friends if they don't respond back. And even if my friends or the guy that I'm interested in response back on the same day I would just tell them to reschedule because I made other plans. I agree with you. I think it is rude to respond so late.She didn’t text me yesterday and haven’t heard yet. Thinking if she doesn’t text me by early afternoon I may just have to say something like ‘hey I hadn’t heard from you and I know it was a short notice invite. Let’s just plan another time’
I would think she’d text me in the next couple hours though, leaving me waiting longer would be kind of rude I think.
I would think she’d text me in the next couple hours though, leaving me waiting longer would be kind of rude I think.
09-04-2022, 03:37 PM
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#6184
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Alright, today is a good wake up call for me.
She actually hasn’t replied and updated me. So obviously im realizing I’ve been caring too much, and probably been too nice.
I thought she’d at least update me this AM, but the fact that she hasn’t replied clearly tells me she must have other stuff going on she cares more about, is being very rude and not respecting my time, and we aren’t on the same page.
I’m realizing I need to care a lot less and focus on other girls. I assume she’ll text me sometime today, either way Im likely going to just ignore it completely unless something happened and she apologizes. Pretty damn lame of her to not keep me updated at all.
She actually hasn’t replied and updated me. So obviously im realizing I’ve been caring too much, and probably been too nice.
I thought she’d at least update me this AM, but the fact that she hasn’t replied clearly tells me she must have other stuff going on she cares more about, is being very rude and not respecting my time, and we aren’t on the same page.
I’m realizing I need to care a lot less and focus on other girls. I assume she’ll text me sometime today, either way Im likely going to just ignore it completely unless something happened and she apologizes. Pretty damn lame of her to not keep me updated at all.
09-04-2022, 04:52 PM
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#6185
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She ended up texted me at about 3:30, saying she’s ‘so sorry she ended up staying with her friends this weekend!! It turned into an engagement party extravaganza!’
Then she sent me a couple pics with her girlfriends.
I’m not going to respond at all.
Then she sent me a couple pics with her girlfriends.
I’m not going to respond at all.
09-04-2022, 06:33 PM
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#6186
Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
I feel like not responding at all makes it seem like you're butt hurt. Why not just say something like "nice pics" and leave it at that? Then wait to see if she ever reaches out again?She ended up texted me at about 3:30, saying she’s ‘so sorry she ended up staying with her friends this weekend!! It turned into an engagement party extravaganza!’
Then she sent me a couple pics with her girlfriends.
I’m not going to respond at all.
Then she sent me a couple pics with her girlfriends.
I’m not going to respond at all.
And yes, you have every right to feel butt hurt. She was extremely rude leaving you hanging like that. If you're not going to point out her rudeness then I think it's best to just leave it on a good note.
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09-04-2022, 06:55 PM
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#6187
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
this post is a contradiction; you didn't bother to read it before you posted.I feel like not responding at all makes it seem like you're butt hurt. Why not just say something like "nice pics" and leave it at that? Then wait to see if she ever reaches out again?
And yes, you have every right to feel butt hurt. She was extremely rude leaving you hanging like that. If you're not going to point out her rudeness then I think it's best to just leave it on a good note.
And yes, you have every right to feel butt hurt. She was extremely rude leaving you hanging like that. If you're not going to point out her rudeness then I think it's best to just leave it on a good note.
but yeah my guy go NC she sounds like a lame ass. Don't waste you time with people who waste your time.
09-04-2022, 07:01 PM
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#6188
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Of course I am annoyed, she didn’t keep me updated at all, it’s super rude.. And why should I care anymore it shows a clear lack of interest, respect, etc. It’s weird bc I thought she liked me and then she does stuff like this. Admittedly I care a little still but this was a wake up call.I feel like not responding at all makes it seem like you're butt hurt. Why not just say something like "nice pics" and leave it at that? Then wait to see if she ever reaches out again?
And yes, you have every right to feel butt hurt. She was extremely rude leaving you hanging like that. If you're not going to point out her rudeness then I think it's best to just leave it on a good note.
And yes, you have every right to feel butt hurt. She was extremely rude leaving you hanging like that. If you're not going to point out her rudeness then I think it's best to just leave it on a good note.
Seems like saying nothing makes it clear I didn’t like it.
I’m trying to see your pov, others please chime in if possible. I’ve definitely been too nice to her lately.
As I think about it, I don’t hate just saying ‘nice pics’ because it’s short and it may be better than ignoring.
09-04-2022, 07:27 PM
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#6189
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Sorry to hear, Op. I'd just eventually send a short bland reply like that and leave it at that. Let her reach out next time, and if she doesn't then leave itOf course I am annoyed, she didn’t keep me updated at all, it’s super rude.. And why should I care anymore it shows a clear lack of interest, respect, etc. It’s weird bc I thought she liked me and then she does stuff like this. Admittedly I care a little still but this was a wake up call.
Seems like saying nothing makes it clear I didn’t like it.
I’m trying to see your pov, others please chime in if possible. I’ve definitely been too nice to her lately.
As I think about it, I don’t hate just saying ‘nice pics’ because it’s short and it may be better than ignoring.
Seems like saying nothing makes it clear I didn’t like it.
I’m trying to see your pov, others please chime in if possible. I’ve definitely been too nice to her lately.
As I think about it, I don’t hate just saying ‘nice pics’ because it’s short and it may be better than ignoring.
I've been in a kind of similar situation. I stayed very busy socially and blitzed tinder to line myself up with a few new matches/dates. Ended up matching with someone that was even better than my previous option. There is hope for us all. Stay busy and create more options for yourself... when she thinks she may have lost your interest, then she might reach out
09-04-2022, 07:28 PM
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#6190
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
Thanks man. She has been pretty fun and sweet at times, and we have good chemistry most of the time, and so I’m hanging on to that. I won’t say it’s 100 percent over if she reaches out later and tries to make it up to me. But this was lame af. To me it feels like she’s just showing me she doesn’t value or respect me, which I don’t want a part of obviously. It’s a terrible sign if she operates like this. If you like someone I think you try to keep them posted when they were waiting for your answer, clearly.this post is a contradiction; you didn't bother to read it before you posted.
but yeah my guy go NC she sounds like a lame ass. Don't waste you time with people who waste your time.
but yeah my guy go NC she sounds like a lame ass. Don't waste you time with people who waste your time.
Edit: I don’t want to be overly harsh or seem too bitter like I have nothing going on. And I don’t want to cut ties.So I may send ‘nice pics’ as suggested.
09-04-2022, 07:52 PM
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#6191
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
no don't say anything at all. if you text anything it will be open to her interpretation of what you meant by it. If you want to keep things open (which imo you shouldn't) then just leave it at that. No reply will give her a dozen different theories to work with as to what is going on with you. It's better to keep things ambiguous than to give her some hints as to whether or not you're upset or anything.Thanks man. She has been pretty fun and sweet at times, and we have good chemistry most of the time, and so I’m hanging on to that. I won’t say it’s 100 percent over if she reaches out later and tries to make it up to me. But this was lame af. To me it feels like she’s just showing me she doesn’t value or respect me, which I don’t want a part of obviously. It’s a terrible sign if she operates like this. If you like someone I think you try to keep them posted when they were waiting for your answer, clearly.
Edit: I don’t want to be overly harsh or seem too bitter like I have nothing going on. And I don’t want to cut ties.So I may send ‘nice pics’ as suggested.
Edit: I don’t want to be overly harsh or seem too bitter like I have nothing going on. And I don’t want to cut ties.So I may send ‘nice pics’ as suggested.
as a matter of fact I would say sending a "nice pics" text could validate her and let her know it's A-OK to pull that chit again if she has what she feels is a good enough reason.
09-04-2022, 08:05 PM
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#6192
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
Glad I read this. This feels right to me. I want her to know I’m not like other simps who are ok with this. It does make sense, that even if I hope she realizes her mistake and reaches out again, that not saying anything will leave her wondering and as you said, different theories to think on. Plus It makes even more sense, because I do think she mistakenly thinks I’m mr nice guy.no don't say anything at all. if you text anything it will be open to her interpretation of what you meant by it. If you want to keep things open (which imo you shouldn't) then just leave it at that. No reply will give her a dozen different theories to work with as to what is going on with you. It's better to keep things ambiguous than to give her some hints as to whether or not you're upset or anything.
as a matter of fact I would say sending a "nice pics" text could validate her and let her know it's A-OK to pull that chit again if she has what she feels is a good enough reason.
as a matter of fact I would say sending a "nice pics" text could validate her and let her know it's A-OK to pull that chit again if she has what she feels is a good enough reason.
It’s possible she won’t reach out, but whatever…if she can’t be mature enough or isn’t into me enough, either way it’s her loss.
I will be pursuing other girls a lot more this week, and getting more social again. Today woke me up as I was sitting there waiting for her text like a nerd.. fuk that, that’s not me.
09-04-2022, 09:09 PM
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#6193
Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Sorry to hear brah. Like pilot said do not text her backGlad I read this. This feels right to me. I want her to know I’m not like other simps who are ok with this. It does make sense, that even if I hope she realizes her mistake and reaches out again, that not saying anything will leave her wondering and as you said, different theories to think on. Plus It makes even more sense, because I do think she mistakenly thinks I’m mr nice guy.
It’s possible she won’t reach out, but whatever…if she can’t be mature enough or isn’t into me enough, either way it’s her loss.
I will be pursuing other girls a lot more this week, and getting more social again. Today woke me up as I was sitting there waiting for her text like a nerd.. fuk that, that’s not me.
It’s possible she won’t reach out, but whatever…if she can’t be mature enough or isn’t into me enough, either way it’s her loss.
I will be pursuing other girls a lot more this week, and getting more social again. Today woke me up as I was sitting there waiting for her text like a nerd.. fuk that, that’s not me.
09-04-2022, 09:39 PM
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#6194
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
If this is the same girl that claimed “she doesn’t look back” on her Instagram.. just NC already lol. She already lied. Everyone looks back on their memories/social media.Alright, today is a good wake up call for me.
She actually hasn’t replied and updated me. So obviously im realizing I’ve been caring too much, and probably been too nice.
I thought she’d at least update me this AM, but the fact that she hasn’t replied clearly tells me she must have other stuff going on she cares more about, is being very rude and not respecting my time, and we aren’t on the same page.
I’m realizing I need to care a lot less and focus on other girls. I assume she’ll text me sometime today, either way Im likely going to just ignore it completely unless something happened and she apologizes. Pretty damn lame of her to not keep me updated at all.
She actually hasn’t replied and updated me. So obviously im realizing I’ve been caring too much, and probably been too nice.
I thought she’d at least update me this AM, but the fact that she hasn’t replied clearly tells me she must have other stuff going on she cares more about, is being very rude and not respecting my time, and we aren’t on the same page.
I’m realizing I need to care a lot less and focus on other girls. I assume she’ll text me sometime today, either way Im likely going to just ignore it completely unless something happened and she apologizes. Pretty damn lame of her to not keep me updated at all.
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09-04-2022, 10:16 PM
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#6195
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Originally Posted By antman12⏩
Thanks bro. It’s crazy to say but I feel more free after deciding to not text back to someone who is not valuing me. Ready to keep positive momentum going.Sorry to hear brah. Like pilot said do not text her back
09-04-2022, 10:18 PM
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#6196
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Originally Posted By FemaleWarriorxo⏩
Yeah, we can forgive some things, because none of us are perfect. But you’re right about the exes, there is clearly an issue there. She’s only hurting herself.If this is the same girl that claimed “she doesn’t look back” on her Instagram.. just NC already lol. She already lied. Everyone looks back on their memories/social media.
09-05-2022, 02:28 PM
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#6197
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She followed up a few mins ago saying “did I upset you in some way”
I do think I’ll reply since she messaged again. Possibly something like
‘It’s not that I’m upset. But I thought you’d at least text me Sat or Sun AM to let me know what your plan was, since I invited you . I would understand that you stuck to other plans that’s not the issue, just would seem fair to let me know. I feel like there’s been a few instances where it seems im getting mixed signals from you. It’s ok, but I don’t operate that way and don’t want to be treated like that.’
Would love any of your thoughts on this I can get. May reply tonight..
I do think I’ll reply since she messaged again. Possibly something like
‘It’s not that I’m upset. But I thought you’d at least text me Sat or Sun AM to let me know what your plan was, since I invited you . I would understand that you stuck to other plans that’s not the issue, just would seem fair to let me know. I feel like there’s been a few instances where it seems im getting mixed signals from you. It’s ok, but I don’t operate that way and don’t want to be treated like that.’
Would love any of your thoughts on this I can get. May reply tonight..
09-05-2022, 03:46 PM
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#6198
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
No don't send her that paragraph. If she's oblivious to where she flakes on you and has no idea why you're upset, then she's just an idiot and is wasting your time. You shouldn't have to explain things to her. The best she will do is play off like she wasn't aware she was being insensitive and will try harder next time omg plz forgive me.She followed up a few mins ago saying “did I upset you in some way”
I do think I’ll reply since she messaged again. Possibly something like
‘It’s not that I’m upset. But I thought you’d at least text me Sat or Sun AM to let me know what your plan was, since I invited you . I would understand that you stuck to other plans that’s not the issue, just would seem fair to let me know. I feel like there’s been a few instances where it seems im getting mixed signals from you. It’s ok, but I don’t operate that way and don’t want to be treated like that.’
Would love any of your thoughts on this I can get. May reply tonight..
I do think I’ll reply since she messaged again. Possibly something like
‘It’s not that I’m upset. But I thought you’d at least text me Sat or Sun AM to let me know what your plan was, since I invited you . I would understand that you stuck to other plans that’s not the issue, just would seem fair to let me know. I feel like there’s been a few instances where it seems im getting mixed signals from you. It’s ok, but I don’t operate that way and don’t want to be treated like that.’
Would love any of your thoughts on this I can get. May reply tonight..
Keep no-contact. Better yet just block her number. How many second chances do you plan to give this woman?
09-05-2022, 04:26 PM
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#6199
Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Again I agree with dolphin, absolutely do not send her that. Have that convo in person if you feel the need to.She followed up a few mins ago saying “did I upset you in some way”
I do think I’ll reply since she messaged again. Possibly something like
‘It’s not that I’m upset. But I thought you’d at least text me Sat or Sun AM to let me know what your plan was, since I invited you . I would understand that you stuck to other plans that’s not the issue, just would seem fair to let me know. I feel like there’s been a few instances where it seems im getting mixed signals from you. It’s ok, but I don’t operate that way and don’t want to be treated like that.’
Would love any of your thoughts on this I can get. May reply tonight..
I do think I’ll reply since she messaged again. Possibly something like
‘It’s not that I’m upset. But I thought you’d at least text me Sat or Sun AM to let me know what your plan was, since I invited you . I would understand that you stuck to other plans that’s not the issue, just would seem fair to let me know. I feel like there’s been a few instances where it seems im getting mixed signals from you. It’s ok, but I don’t operate that way and don’t want to be treated like that.’
Would love any of your thoughts on this I can get. May reply tonight..
I disagree with him about going full NC. I would just keep it short and maybe not even address her question. Tell her to let you know if she wants to get together again. Send it and move on. Maybe she gets back to you about getting together…maybe she doesnt.
09-05-2022, 05:52 PM
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#6200
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Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
I see where you’re coming from no doubt. A few things- this is her biggest mess up so far, and I agree it’s absolutely ridiculous she isn’t already seeing it from my angle already, and her lack of maturity is a huge concern. But she is at least showing something by asking me already. While she’s been far from perfect she has a lot of positives and I try to look at the balance of everything. But yeah, there are big concerns and she has some real baggage. This weekends occurrence was not cool.No don't send her that paragraph. If she's oblivious to where she flakes on you and has no idea why you're upset, then she's just an idiot and is wasting your time. You shouldn't have to explain things to her. The best she will do is play off like she wasn't aware she was being insensitive and will try harder next time omg plz forgive me.
Keep no-contact. Better yet just block her number. How many second chances do you plan to give this woman?
Keep no-contact. Better yet just block her number. How many second chances do you plan to give this woman?
I’ll admit it brah, right or wrong I like a lot of things about her and I want to give her a chance to do better. Again, she was very rude this weekend and it shows a lack of care and also maturity. But I want to keep in touch and see if she adjusts. If she does any more of this my tank of patience is running low.
I haven’t reached out yet. I’m conflicted on how much and what to say. I know you think I should dump her but I want to leave the option open. I want to let her know why it’s not ok. If she is not understanding and doesn’t adjust soon,I’ll end it.
09-05-2022, 05:59 PM
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#6201
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Originally Posted By antman12⏩
Thanks brah. I don’t want to go no contact and completely cut her off. There’s still a chance we could be good together. It is crazy she doesn’t comprehend the problem with what she did this weekend, but I think it’s too extreme to totally cut her off already. At least I want to leave the door open for her to do better. Just being honest, the older I get I realize every fuking girl has issues like this, many of them worse. And I try pretty hard to get and pick decently, but even the seemingly good ones have big issues and faults. I will put my foot down but I feel that dumping her or blocking is too much.Again I agree with dolphin, absolutely do not send her that. Have that convo in person if you feel the need to.
I disagree with him about going full NC. I would just keep it short and maybe not even address her question. Tell her to let you know if she wants to get together again. Send it and move on. Maybe she gets back to you about getting together…maybe she doesnt.
I disagree with him about going full NC. I would just keep it short and maybe not even address her question. Tell her to let you know if she wants to get together again. Send it and move on. Maybe she gets back to you about getting together…maybe she doesnt.
At this stage I want to say something either tonight or tomorrow, but I don’t think I’d want to want to tell her to ‘let me know if she wants to get together again’. I am not sure what to say yet but I feel that route puts the ball in her court and I’d rather have her wondering if I even like her, just for a bit. Appreciate your thoughts on it, I have to think on it for a bit..
09-05-2022, 06:55 PM
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#6202
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May send something like this tomorrow. I don’t really know what else to do except be honest… so I can live with it
This in reply to “did I upset you in some way” (her double text the day after her bs explanation:
“Kind of surprised you didn’t notice anything wrong with it. I knew you had tentative plans, and there’s no issue at all with that and not being able to meet on the short notice, but not texting Sat or Sun AM and telling me after it all happened? Just seems like total disregard for my time. I value consideration when dating. ”
Added: I hadn’t texted her yet. She texted me another time this AM saying ‘ok, guess so. I’ll leave you alone then”
This in reply to “did I upset you in some way” (her double text the day after her bs explanation:
“Kind of surprised you didn’t notice anything wrong with it. I knew you had tentative plans, and there’s no issue at all with that and not being able to meet on the short notice, but not texting Sat or Sun AM and telling me after it all happened? Just seems like total disregard for my time. I value consideration when dating. ”
Added: I hadn’t texted her yet. She texted me another time this AM saying ‘ok, guess so. I’ll leave you alone then”
09-06-2022, 10:55 AM
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#6203
- skinnyfat88
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- skinnyfat88
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Don't be passive-aggressive/condescending with the "Kind of surprised you didn't see anything wrong with it" comment.May send something like this tomorrow. I don’t really know what else to do except be honest… so I can live with it
This in reply to “did I upset you in some way” (her double text the day after her bs explanation:
“Kind of surprised you didn’t notice anything wrong with it. I knew you had tentative plans, and there’s no issue at all with that and not being able to meet on the short notice, but not texting Sat or Sun AM and telling me after it all happened? Just seems like total disregard for my time. I value consideration when dating. ”
Added: I hadn’t texted her yet. She texted me another time this AM saying ‘ok, guess so. I’ll leave you alone then”
This in reply to “did I upset you in some way” (her double text the day after her bs explanation:
“Kind of surprised you didn’t notice anything wrong with it. I knew you had tentative plans, and there’s no issue at all with that and not being able to meet on the short notice, but not texting Sat or Sun AM and telling me after it all happened? Just seems like total disregard for my time. I value consideration when dating. ”
Added: I hadn’t texted her yet. She texted me another time this AM saying ‘ok, guess so. I’ll leave you alone then”
I'm not crystal clear on how well the tentative plans that turned into a whole weekend thing was communicated but to play Devil's advocate, asking someone to do something on short notice when they have tentative plans seems like a bit of a sh*t test to see if she's willing to potentially re-arrange things to see you which I don't think is a recipe for success.
But I 100% agree she should not have left you hanging. Not cool.
I would say "Hey I realize trying to make plans on short notice wasn't a good idea but I really would've appreciated a response letting me know you wouldn't be able to commit to that and suggest another time."
09-06-2022, 11:38 AM
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#6204
- InsanePain11
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- InsanePain11
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
Ah, wish I would have read this. I did reply sayingDon't be passive-aggressive/condescending with the "Kind of surprised you didn't see anything wrong with it" comment.
I'm not crystal clear on how well the tentative plans that turned into a whole weekend thing was communicated but to play Devil's advocate, asking someone to do something on short notice when they have tentative plans seems like a bit of a sh*t test to see if she's willing to potentially re-arrange things to see you which I don't think is a recipe for success.
But I 100% agree she should not have left you hanging. Not cool.
I would say "Hey I realize trying to make plans on short notice wasn't a good idea but I really would've appreciated a response letting me know you wouldn't be able to commit to that and suggest another time."
I'm not crystal clear on how well the tentative plans that turned into a whole weekend thing was communicated but to play Devil's advocate, asking someone to do something on short notice when they have tentative plans seems like a bit of a sh*t test to see if she's willing to potentially re-arrange things to see you which I don't think is a recipe for success.
But I 100% agree she should not have left you hanging. Not cool.
I would say "Hey I realize trying to make plans on short notice wasn't a good idea but I really would've appreciated a response letting me know you wouldn't be able to commit to that and suggest another time."
“ It just showed a lack of care, and consideration for me and my time. If you can’t value that then we wouldn’t work out. It’s not because you couldn’t meet at all -that was completely fine, just that you didn’t think of letting me know with just a simple text when I had invited you. That tells me a lot.”
She replied with this:
“I really do apologize. I got caught up in the weekend and forgot to text you. I totally understand your frustration. It was nice getting to know you and I wish you the best.”
I feel like sh!t tbh. But I was honest, but too harsh maybe. The fact she didn’t try to reschedule kind of stings, it seems as suspected she really doesn’t care enough. Would love your thoughts on a reply if possible.
09-06-2022, 01:23 PM
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#6205
Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
There is nothing to reply with, just move on to the next one, she's made her choice, now make yours, away from her.Ah, wish I would have read this. I did reply saying
“ It just showed a lack of care, and consideration for me and my time. If you can’t value that then we wouldn’t work out. It’s not because you couldn’t meet at all -that was completely fine, just that you didn’t think of letting me know with just a simple text when I had invited you. That tells me a lot.”
She replied with this:
“I really do apologize. I got caught up in the weekend and forgot to text you. I totally understand your frustration.It was nice getting to know you and I wish you the best.”
I feel like sh!t tbh. But I was honest, but too harsh maybe. The fact she didn’t try to reschedule kind of stings, it seems as suspected she really doesn’t care enough. Would love your thoughts on a reply if possible.
“ It just showed a lack of care, and consideration for me and my time. If you can’t value that then we wouldn’t work out. It’s not because you couldn’t meet at all -that was completely fine, just that you didn’t think of letting me know with just a simple text when I had invited you. That tells me a lot.”
She replied with this:
“I really do apologize. I got caught up in the weekend and forgot to text you. I totally understand your frustration.It was nice getting to know you and I wish you the best.”
I feel like sh!t tbh. But I was honest, but too harsh maybe. The fact she didn’t try to reschedule kind of stings, it seems as suspected she really doesn’t care enough. Would love your thoughts on a reply if possible.
09-06-2022, 01:37 PM
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#6206
- InsanePain11
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Probably right midi77.
Just looked at her ig story. She posted a pic of her legs in a pool but then also reposted someone elses joke saying “have you ever dated a man? You may be entitled to financial compensation” I know it’s a joke but have to wonder if she never takes blame for anything.or if she’s talking about me.
I will move on and will try to take the high road.
Skinnyfat I’d love to hear if you think I should reply to her text or just leave it. Thanks all.
Gonna post on ig a fun thing I did this weekend out by the beach after she cancelled . Not that she’ll care, but for me and friends. Feels ****ty about the girl but I’m more prepared for things like this than I used to be.
You may wonder why I mentioned here about the ig stories, just trying to give more data points for serious replies.
Just looked at her ig story. She posted a pic of her legs in a pool but then also reposted someone elses joke saying “have you ever dated a man? You may be entitled to financial compensation” I know it’s a joke but have to wonder if she never takes blame for anything.or if she’s talking about me.
I will move on and will try to take the high road.
Skinnyfat I’d love to hear if you think I should reply to her text or just leave it. Thanks all.
Gonna post on ig a fun thing I did this weekend out by the beach after she cancelled . Not that she’ll care, but for me and friends. Feels ****ty about the girl but I’m more prepared for things like this than I used to be.
You may wonder why I mentioned here about the ig stories, just trying to give more data points for serious replies.
09-06-2022, 01:50 PM
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#6207
- skinnyfat88
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- skinnyfat88
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
At the end of the day she never completely addressed your concerns from the first talk you had (& honestly I think it's gonna take her a while to process that and figure out how she wants to present herself moving forward on that front), & then compounded that with the lack of response on the weekend.Ah, wish I would have read this. I did reply saying
“ It just showed a lack of care, and consideration for me and my time. If you can’t value that then we wouldn’t work out. It’s not because you couldn’t meet at all -that was completely fine, just that you didn’t think of letting me know with just a simple text when I had invited you. That tells me a lot.”
She replied with this:
“I really do apologize. I got caught up in the weekend and forgot to text you. I totally understand your frustration. It was nice getting to know you and I wish you the best.”
I feel like sh!t tbh. But I was honest, but too harsh maybe. The fact she didn’t try to reschedule kind of stings, it seems as suspected she really doesn’t care enough. Would love your thoughts on a reply if possible.
“ It just showed a lack of care, and consideration for me and my time. If you can’t value that then we wouldn’t work out. It’s not because you couldn’t meet at all -that was completely fine, just that you didn’t think of letting me know with just a simple text when I had invited you. That tells me a lot.”
She replied with this:
“I really do apologize. I got caught up in the weekend and forgot to text you. I totally understand your frustration. It was nice getting to know you and I wish you the best.”
I feel like sh!t tbh. But I was honest, but too harsh maybe. The fact she didn’t try to reschedule kind of stings, it seems as suspected she really doesn’t care enough. Would love your thoughts on a reply if possible.
She may be a decent person but it she's got some growing up to do to be ready for a mature relationship. Seems like she's a bit of a project with potential at the moment and a lot of people need to grow and learn on that front themselves, even when you feel the urge to guide them there and mold them into the partner you want. Give her time to do so and go out and date other women right now. Maybe you'll meet someone who sparks your interest more than her. If not it seems like you're not on terrible terms and could reconnect down the road.
Maybe say something like "Thanks. Best of luck to you too. No hard feelings."
09-06-2022, 02:08 PM
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#6208
- InsanePain11
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
Thank you brother! One of the best advice givers on here. Wish we were friends irl lol.At the end of the day she never completely addressed your concerns from the first talk you had (& honestly I think it's gonna take her a while to process that and figure out how she wants to present herself moving forward on that front), & then compounded that with the lack of response on the weekend.
She may be a decent person but it she's got some growing up to do to be ready for a mature relationship. Seems like she's a bit of a project with potential at the moment and a lot of people need to grow and learn on that front themselves, even when you feel the urge to guide them there and mold them into the partner you want. Give her time to do so and go out and date other women right now. Maybe you'll meet someone who sparks your interest more than her. If not it seems like you're not on terrible terms and could reconnect down the road.
Maybe say something like "Thanks. Best of luck to you too. No hard feelings."
She may be a decent person but it she's got some growing up to do to be ready for a mature relationship. Seems like she's a bit of a project with potential at the moment and a lot of people need to grow and learn on that front themselves, even when you feel the urge to guide them there and mold them into the partner you want. Give her time to do so and go out and date other women right now. Maybe you'll meet someone who sparks your interest more than her. If not it seems like you're not on terrible terms and could reconnect down the road.
Maybe say something like "Thanks. Best of luck to you too. No hard feelings."
Speaking of that I’m gonna hit up a couple friends this weekend to put this behind me.
, to go out and meet people. Also will focus on other girls from the apps..
I feel that yes, she had maturity issues, has some awesome qualities too (that I noticed in our dates that kept me interested), but is not ready for me and what I want.
I totally agree with your take on this. I’ll work on moving on. That’s a perfect reply imo. True to myself but also mature.
09-06-2022, 02:21 PM
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#6209
- InsanePain11
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- InsanePain11
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
Brah, check this out. I followed up with what you said “thanks. Best of luck to you. No hard feelings.” and she texted back with thisAt the end of the day she never completely addressed your concerns from the first talk you had (& honestly I think it's gonna take her a while to process that and figure out how she wants to present herself moving forward on that front), & then compounded that with the lack of response on the weekend.
She may be a decent person but it she's got some growing up to do to be ready for a mature relationship. Seems like she's a bit of a project with potential at the moment and a lot of people need to grow and learn on that front themselves, even when you feel the urge to guide them there and mold them into the partner you want. Give her time to do so and go out and date other women right now. Maybe you'll meet someone who sparks your interest more than her. If not it seems like you're not on terrible terms and could reconnect down the road.
Maybe say something like "Thanks. Best of luck to you too. No hard feelings."
She may be a decent person but it she's got some growing up to do to be ready for a mature relationship. Seems like she's a bit of a project with potential at the moment and a lot of people need to grow and learn on that front themselves, even when you feel the urge to guide them there and mold them into the partner you want. Give her time to do so and go out and date other women right now. Maybe you'll meet someone who sparks your interest more than her. If not it seems like you're not on terrible terms and could reconnect down the road.
Maybe say something like "Thanks. Best of luck to you too. No hard feelings."
“Of course not. I know that overall, I’m a very kind person, and that it’s not my fault you used one situation to make an overall judgment of me. Says a lot about you as well and I’m glad that you showed me what it may have been like to be in a relationship with you.”
Wow. Skinny what’s your take.
09-06-2022, 02:35 PM
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#6210
- xbluexhawkx
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- xbluexhawkx
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way too much overthinking and nonsense
jesus christ
how long have you known this chick for
jesus christ
how long have you known this chick for
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