Raising a family in a traditional manner. Thats the only thing I see.

Traditionally raised/normal children will stand out like sore thumbs in clown world

You dont have to be married to raise kids. But if you want your kids to grow up and learn from a traditional manner.....some think its best.
Psychological its much easier to break things off if you are not committed (for stable people).....you weather through the tough times for the end result.

I was never planning to get married until i met my wife. I think alot of guys get tired of the bs and stop searching, or they have their standards so incredibly high, they never get anywhere. I can't imagine not being married into your 40's and 50's. You are rapidly losing value in the dating marketplace (unless you're filthy rich or a celeb). Most people refuse to believe that. I love my alone time, and i make that known to my wife. That said, most social environments after 30 involve kids, a wife, family, etc. I have a few relatives and acquaintances in that boat and i think it hurts both self esteem and career to be single at that age. Most employers look at you sideways if you don't have kids or a wife. Not a reason to get married by any means, but if you are an outleir, you will be treated like one. I have also found that raises/bonuses/etc. are given out more frequently to married folks. If your employer knows you're "just a single guy" they assume "oh, he doesn't need a raise or more money, its just him, no kids to support, etc." I experienced that first hand in my 20's working for this old rich jewish dude. He kept asking me if/when i was getting married lmao. If you work for a conservative boss/employer, it absolutely plays a role in your ability to move up the ladder.

Some kids have a tough time feeling like they were born out of wedlock.

Marriage is also a financial bond so people are less likely to leave due to the consequences of losing half of their assets. I know this as I live it.

Misc. thinks that men in their 40s and 50s will date hot, young women in their 20s. I haven't seen that IRL and I know a lot of single men in their 40s and 50s.

I also know that every woman tells me that a man who hasn't been married at 40+ is a red flag. I've dated 2 of those guys over 40 who never married, and they both had commitment issues.

People live in bubbles. We all live in the "clown world" but its only apparent to me when I have to go to places like the airport, the DMV or places like that which I dont frequent that often. Everywhere else.....I dont actually feel it because I get to choose who i associate with.

The key element is "stability". Ask any kid who lost a parent when they were 10 how that feels, decades later. Divorce runs a number on kids, as does "staying in an unhappy marriage for the kids" - this latter one especially teaches kids (incorrectly) that happy, committed relationships are impossible.

I meet women who were the product of marriages like that. "Yeah when I'm on work travel I'm not 'married', do what I want. All men do" - the latter part especially the cope inculcated into children by embittered, traumatized parents.

Marriage vs LTR - "long term, committed relationships" - that's the ticket. Marriage is a variation on that theme, a custom, with some benefits (including taxation) depending on the jurisdiction.

But a committed, long term, happy relationship is rare enough that it deserves to be praised in all honesty, not maligned as it so often is on the Misc by embittered souls.

Yes I agree. However for me, there are some things money cant be prioritized over. But my family keep me from doing stupid things that i might otherwise have done in my younger single days. They have made me a better man for my wife, my kids, and myself.

My dad was 21 yrs older than my mom when they got married, she was 23 and he was 44.


Happens all the time in tdays world too.

At 46, I couldn't see myself dating a twenty something year old girl (i know there are exceptions) as there would just seem to be such a gap in commonality of things you care about.

Here it is also a "status" thing. If folks think CEOs/CFOs etc. show up to social meetings and introduce 20-somethings with an Eastern European accent as their "partners", this is a form of delusion.

Having those girls waiting back after the social functions are done in the suite? Yeah. So "dating" != "presentable", where "dating" is effectively smashing young vag.

To be clear: if a guy in his late 30s early 40s has a bad relationship breakup, I do advocate for dabbling in the fountain of youth that is smashing a 22 year old. You can feel 10 years younger, for sure. But that's really not the same as "dating" as in...bring her to the country club for dinner.

Yeah my family member married a man 30 years older but she has major Daddy issues.

Men are more likely to see older women for just sex whereas older men can marry younger women due to the childbearing issue. It's just rare that I see men over 40 with younger women IRL.Well I've been doing it but I'm immature due to the eating disorder. I've learned how to speak their language and listen to their music. I'm starting to feel the generation gap with the Zoomers, though. The Millenails were OK. But I'm not seeing younger men any longer.

I recently met a billionaire at a social event in another state who is 70 and his girlfriend is 30 and wears sexy clothes. Obviously that stands out and he admits that she's with him for his money.

More power to you. I can speak the lingo, and I actually enjoy the music too.......i hang with enough of my 20's something cousins and am in tune with their lifestyle. But thats not what I am talking about. If I am in a relationship, we are having conversations about deeper things occurring in life. The things they are probably worried about vs the things I am worried about are vastly different id imagine.

This is different as well. There is a far gap between a billionaire and someone worth $50M. The latter still has to play the part being an EVP or SVP for example. The billionaire can pretty much do whatever he/she wants assuming they are the founder of the company.

Exactly. One is "fu** you" money, the other isn't. But also, all the CEO folks I know here in NYC are married, and have no need to do this.

There is a status element to this that people gloss over. While on the Misc so many laugh at happily married folks they are still the pinnacle. Early 50s CEO with his wife from college, their 3 kids all well educated, groomed and mannered. Top schools, top opportunities, and fairly equanamous.

They don't need young vag. They are a cut above. Like those who have summer manors on Lake Geneva.

50 million is F you money. Who are you kidding. Even 10 million is F you money. You could live very well and never work again

Sorry bro....all relative. But you arent telling anyone to F off except for maybe the bagger at the local grocery store with $10M. You have to put your mindset in their's.

Someone hustling in the corporate world with $50M isnt thinking "I'll just buy that 40 acre ranch in the middle of nowhere and ride off into the sunset"
They are thinking "I want to own an F1 race team"......and you arent going to do that with $50M.

Great point that lots seem to miss. Whenever someone on here goes on about only being able to find trash women and all the people around them being trash humans I wonder if they realize how much it's a reflection on them.

yeah thats a good point, thats true


it is F you money, just not for them

This is a million percent dead on. Whether you know it or not, people associate with like minded people as a common theme (as always there are exceptions to rules). Thats why its so hard for most to get out of the hood, break the mold from being from a family who doesn't value education to someone who does, people who are financially literate vs not etc.

Like farmer son said....it becomes apparent to me when I read threads that say "Its so hard to find a good girl these days.......dating apps have broken women etc" and I sit back and think man....i have a handful of female cousins that are younger and they seem like exceptional women....whats the problem? Then I realize.....to get these girls you have to be pretty exceptional yourself.

Correct and aligned.

To the beggar on the street.....$50K bucks is F you money. But not to most. You get how that works..........different people have different wants and needs. The trick is to want less and be happy I guess.

Those exceptional female cousins you got. Hate to break it to you, but most of the time it's a facade. May or may not be true in your case but more likely than not.

SO many put on a front in public, but secretly they're doing all sorts of degen **** you will never know about. Once you get to know a lot of these girls where they reveal their REAL lives to you, you will see whats truly going on. Social media has really changed the world.

I am open to the fact that they are most likely not angels. But for me, its all about the devils in the details. Once cousin I have is a high flyer at one of the Big 5 consulting firms. So if she is involved in degen activity.....thats also all relative. If she wants to hook up with a random dude or smoke some green......so long as she holds down her responsibilities I am not one to judge.

Another owns a very well respected bakery in town. She get there every day at 4:30 am to make that morning's spread. I just cant see her out partying all night and having the energy to work all day for years on end.

Another is in med school in residency. Her husband (recent) is also in residency.

So yes, I am open to the fact that not all humans are saints......but at least they have positive chit going on and the ones that do have boyfriends are also on the up and up.
So what type of stuff that you call "Degen" are you talking about? Just so I can understand your perspective relatively.

It's not just about status, it's about personality type and company growth.

If you look at poon chasers and family men, there are distinct trends.

Poon chasers: higher risk, always chasing new clients, land more accounts, have higher forecast revenue growth etc but also more likely to alienate clients, get you sued, land in rehab etc. They also tend to jump ship more often, as they are constantly looking for the bigger, better deal.

Married guys: more risk averse, less ups and downs, more concerned with reputational damage etc

A startup, run by the owners, wants poon chasers.

A more established firm, with multiple investors/shareholders has traditionally gone for married men in roles with a fiduciary responsibility, as they are seen as more financially responsible/trustworthy.

Alpha dad/10

Are they still together?

I don't see the point in elaborating, you'd have to see it for yourself. Women do not need to go to any party anymore like when you were young 20 yrs ago. Everything goes down in their DM's on IG or snap or whatever for example, etc. If she's any sort of attractive, she is swarmed with male attention in her DM's the likes never seen before in the history of humans on earth. Literally hundreds of guys hitting her up, sending pics, offering dates, money, etc.. and then the IRL meetups happen with the ones she likes. Sugar daddies, degen sexual deviant behavior, casual hookups behind their BF's back, etc...

It's changed the world.

Anyway I'm done talking about this.

This line of thinking is along the line of my "people live in bubbles" perspective. I am sure you are done talking about it since you dont have any concrete evidence.
At some point a meet up has to happen and degen stuff has to happen in the physical world. If that happens on a weekly basis, you start to lose control of what you are working on. Big projects, your business your responsibilities in residency in my examples.

Has social media made things worse? Yes for people who are foundationally degens (which are a lot). But on the flip side.....social media is the mechanism that helped my cousin become so successful with her bakery business. She went head to head with the big dogs in town and she has outflanked them and carved out a niche high end clientele following and i would associate a lot of that to her business' social media presence.

There's definitely some truth to this. Management at bigger corps tends to all be married because they flock together, but tech startups is likely to be different. Small businesses are usually a mix.

It might sound shallow but I can honestly not imagine looking at and smelling an old lady. The old wrinkly skin with varicose veins and that smell of death mixed with oil of olay is just too depressing.