Yeah once they find out about the husband and/or the young guys they bail out. That's my fault but it is what it is. At least I have a low sex drive now so I don't really care that much about men anymore.

So you're a lesbo?

Who's the hottest female miscer?

LOL no. I just don't have much of a desire for sex and I certainly don't want to deal with someone's BS.

Ana De Armas


or

margot Robbie

Ana De Armas but I'm really not attracted to women. Most likely my meds, or menopause, has killed my sex drive. It's a good thing as I was hypersexual before age 47 and needed sex and masturbation daily. Now I go weeks and I don't notice it.

I've been so busy with my aunt now in the hospital and taking care of her cat and house, along with friends in town, that I haven't even opened Bumble.Of course the younger guys are going to be more attractive, just like younger women are more attractive.

That's interesting how you combine Gen X guys and younger millennial females together. I never really thought of it. I know the younger millennial act entitled, but you're right that the Gen X guys do as well. I just know the ones I've seen have been jaded and bitter. Many whom my friends date and that I've seen are alcoholics, maybe due to messy divorces. I just know that they had CNN or ESPN on all day which gave me a headache as I'm used to living in a quiet household, except when football is on. That's what's tough as I'm used to how my husband lives and most men don't live like that.

Yeah Gen X females are empaths and I know that many Millenials and Gen Z say they like older women as they're generally nicer than younger women their age. Plus they always say the "more mature sexually" statement 95% of the time. Empathy is something my husband doesn't have as a borderline Boomer/Gen X. I mean we are taking about ZERO empathy. I would have surgeries when we were romantically together and he wouldn't even visit me. My Mom had to drive me and stay with me. He hasn't even reached out to my Mom or Aunt being in the hospital and he's known them for 40 years. It's so weird how someone can have no empathy and that's part of the reason why we broke up.

Why do 90% of "single" people nowadays still talk to their ex?

Seems like most people to me can't just move on and forget it, idk

My friends have been dropping like flies when it comes to their exes and sloots always mentions their ex first or second hangout lmao

It's odd to me

no matter how bad the ex was they always run back

I've never kept in touch with exes except my sons father. I don't talk to him unless I have to about our son or if something is going on with his or my family then we keep each other informed since we were together 17 years.

It’s a red flag for sure, unless it’s really really clear there’s no romantic connection or one person has already moved on, but that’s so rare in reality.

To me, if a girl has all her history on social media with exes than it seems she’s not over it or is not willing to move on. If she’s still connected to them and talks to them, it’s a clear sign that at the very least she still is dragging them along and leading them on and likes the attention.

Healthy people don’t do this. They can realize that the past is to learn from, but people rarely remain just friends after a breakup. Breakups are typically either heartache-filled OR one person still wants the other one, or both. If someone keeps exes around then they are likely not ready or mature enough to move on to anything serious with someone else. It also is toxic and shows a lack of consideration to whoever they date next.

In my age group it's almost across the board because of co-parenting with exes and it creates a lot of jealousy in 2nd and 3rd marriages.

There's a LOT of jealousy with couples in my age group. It's one of the biggest problems. Plus they don't want to have to block their exes in the event that it doesn't work out with the particular person.

Agreed.

If they are friends because they're in the same social circle I get that (though I would assume they wouldn't be besties by any means).
If they aren't connected in that way I don't see the point in remaining friends as it's likely one party would at least entertain something more than friends.

Matched with this girl on hinge a month ago, cute brunette. Seemed different, not an attention seeker so far (from seeing her app profile and also connecting on ig). Good job, not a big drinker, healthy lifestyle, close with family.

We just FaceTimed Monday and had a good conversation, ended up lasting about 1.5 hours. We have some things in common but not a ton.

Anyways I thought things were interesting so I texted her today to plan something ahead. I suggested a short hike and she shot that down somewhat abruptly and said she is not down to do that when first meeting. It’s never been a problem for me before but I get her point about safety.

Here’s the thing, I was understanding and let her know it about the hike idea. I then suggested dinner instead (this is for early next week). She basically said “it sounds great!” But then added “yes for now” blah blah small talk about location I’m at.

I just feel that the response from her was not high interest. Shutting down the 1st idea was understandable, but the “yes for now” seems lame. I hadn’t mentioned a specific day yet. Let me know what you guys think.

Right now I feel like I may reply tomorrow and tell her either:
-a specific day and time for the dinner date and let her answer
Or
-let her know that I feel that she doesn’t seem interested by her responses and I’m not down for “yes for now”

I'd ask for a specific day and time and if she doesn't give a def answer or an alternate day/time then I'd assume she's not that interested in meeting. Her response does seem weird, kinda like well if I get a better offer I'm taking that. lol

Yea after talking with her Monday, I was kind of surprised by her weird reply.

I got the same feeling you mentioned, even if she doesn’t mean it that way it’s how it comes off.

I don’t really want to take her out now after the “yes for now” comment. Don’t see why I should put effort in when someone acts like that.

Yeah I don't think I'd be feeling too enthusiastic to meet after that comment either. You could just let the convo die.

Agree with Legz422. "Yes for now" = you can be my backup plan. Next. It's better to just answer with "Maybe" and let you know if she is waiting for some confirmation for other plans that she planned ahead of time.

Yea it’s pretty blatant and obvious about the comment. We did text back and forth a few times today (and she is showing interest in me in that regard) but I have no intention of putting effort to ask or take her out anymore. Only way is if she starts asking me. It feels freeing that I don’t really care.

Frustrating couple weeks of dating.

Matched with a girl, exchanged a few really good messages. Lots in common with a lot of similar core beliefs. Set up a date which I unfortunately had to cancel due to a random dental issue that came up. To her credit she was very understanding and we ended up having a really nice FT call that night. Set up and went on a coffee/walk date a few days later which went great with physical escalation and some kissing and making out to end the night. That was wed night and we set up a date for Sunday. Friday night rolled around and we ended up going on a really cute impromptu "date" that again went great!

Saturday I was out all day and had a 30 minute drive home. I give her a call to pass time and we ended up having a 2 hour conversation of which the first 90 minutes went great. The last 30 minutes not so much.

On our original FT call she lead on to being previously married and I just flat out asked her if she was. She said yes she was. So I followed up and asked if theres anything that I should know about or any crazy stories. She said no, I believed her and didnt want to ruin the mood on the call.

Saturday night on our call, through conversation this topic came up and I asked her if she wouldn't mind elaborating on what happened without going into any specific or too personal details. She did and long story short they met halfway through college, got married shortly after college but quickly realized being in a relationship in the "real world, after college" was much more difficult and they got divorced. No cheating or anything like that and they havent talked in 4+ years. Okay cool.

Im feeling pretty good at this point and ask her if there's anything else I should know about. And man I did not expect what came next. She talked about some childhood trauma, which lead to terrible behavior in high school, early college years and more trauma in that time period. I told her I had to sleep on what she said and kind of digest what she told me, even though I knew I couldn't continue seeing her during the conversation.

Woke up the next morning, called her and let her know I didnt think it was a good idea to continue seeing each other. To her credit she was understanding although I knew I hurt her. I did genuinely feel terrible for her being comfortable enough with me to tell me all of that, only for me to call it off right away. I know I made the right decision and although it was an easy decision it still sucked.

Sorry for the long winded post. Just needed to get that off my chest.Yea don't ask her out again. If she reached out and try's to plan something just downgrade her to a coffee date close to where you live. Minimal effort.

To follow up on this part...

I matched with a girl and set up a date back in like march. I had to cancel the day of after snowboarding all day and not getting home in time. All my fault. We reconnected a few months later but never set up a date. Well she again reached out and we reconnected on an app this past Monday night. I set up a coffee date for tonight back on Monday. Well since then ive been dealing with a head cold/nasal congestion all week. I messaged her this morning letting her know, while also saying im still down to hang out if she wants to. I cant imagine she will and I havent heard back from her yet. I fully expecting to be unmatched with no chance at rescheduling.

Lmaaoooooo. Gonna take the L and move on lol.

you guys are amazing, you actually get matches and dates. forever mirin. its hard af to get a date. if i get a match, which is rare, they usually dont respond.

How does that happen with your physique? Do you have pics like your avi in your profile? I would definitely swipe on that!

That is great! Keep it that way. Less stress on you. There is always a new batch of young single women every day. Lol.wow you had some bad luck on making first dates. Dental issue, snowboarding and head cold/nasal congestion. She's probably thinking "Not again on canceling the date". LOL. You don't seem to have issue with getting dates so don't worry too much about the L.

At first I was thinking you were moving exceptionally fast with a 2hr phonecall after only 2 dates and opening up about her past but I guess it worked in your favor if it's something you would've broken up over it when you found out eventually.

Pretty wild she jumped right from that phase of trauma and acting out into the relationship that became her marriage.

Sorry to hear it brah. It always sucks when you’re feeling like you’re connecting with a girl and then flags/bombs start popping off. I assume what she told you in regards to her history must have been pretty disturbing for you to back out. It’s good you’re being true to yourself though since you know it was a dealbreaker.

Secondly, if that next girl doesn’t reschedule with you for being sick, she’s not worth your time anyway imo. If she likes you and is a decently nice person she should reschedule.

Yea I can understand you thinking that. TBF I just wanted to kill 30 minutes driving then that turned into a great unsolicited conversation. And agreed on your last 2 thoughts. Happy she opened up about it when she did and IDK what was going through her EXs mind dealing with her past so quickly after.Yea it was definitely a gut punch. Like I said I knew as she was telling me this stuff that I couldn't move forward, but at least wanted to sleep on it. But that only gave my mind more time to override my feelings I had to her.

In regards to girl #2...
To be fair to her, if a girl flaked on me twice I probably wouldnt give her a 3rd chance. lol

She did respond back and was reasonable. Asked If I wanted to reschedule and told her that would be nice. So well see how that plays out.

Edit - Damn she even hit me with the double message 20 minutes later flirting and basically saying now I really owe her. lol

Ah I see, didn’t realize you had to postpone twice. Nbd though people can sometimes understand as long as they feel you’re being honest.

Sounds good on the update with the second girl! GL brah

want to talk on the phone first
want to face time first
do u have instagram??

WOW f*ck women seriously.

well youre a guy soo...

Well now I do that because I don't want to waste 2 hours getting ready and driving for a first date only for it to fizzle into nothing.Oh yes, gay men like jacked physiques. I have taken cell tech in the past and I'm in menopause so I guess I'm a borderline guy.

my radius is set to 5 miles. these girls literally have to drive 4 minutes for coffee but they want to facetime first

Reminds me of interviews process for this job I had

1st it was a phone interview

2nd was a video of yourself answering these questions

3rd was a zoom interview with a powerpoint

4th was an in person interview

This was all for a Roofing sales position lmao