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Forum » Matches have pretty much died ³
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Thread: Matches have pretty much died ³

post 1672484613 12-08-2022, 03:26 PM
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#6421
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Update: restaurant girl replied to my message and seems down to get drinks. Gonna wait a couple days to reply and schedule it.

For tonight’s hinge date I texted her this AM to confirm. Haven’t heard back so we’ll see.
post 1672485183 12-08-2022, 03:35 PM
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#6422
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Update: restaurant girl replied to my message and seems down to get drinks. Gonna wait a couple days to reply and schedule it.

For tonight’s hinge date I texted her this AM to confirm. Haven’t heard back so we’ll see.
I get the odd person has a job where they can't check their phone but making/confirming plans is almost the only time i expect prompt responses to texts. Grinds my gears when people make you wait on that.

Smalltalk I could care less.
post 1672488523 12-08-2022, 04:34 PM
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#6423
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
I get the odd person has a job where they can't check their phone but making/confirming plans is almost the only time i expect prompt responses to texts. Grinds my gears when people make you wait on that.

Smalltalk I could care less.
I hear ya bro it’s attractive when a girl is considerate.

Anyways she did reply a little while back and it’s on for tonight.
post 1672492363 12-08-2022, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Update: restaurant girl replied to my message and seems down to get drinks. Gonna wait a couple days to reply and schedule it.

For tonight’s hinge date I texted her this AM to confirm. Haven’t heard back so we’ll see.
Regarding the restaurant girl, I wouldn't wait a couple days to respond. That's kinda a cringe pua game tactic. I get where you're coming from, but just a day at the latest. I'd respond tomorrow. Just be natural about it. And congrats on both the dates!
post 1672496023 12-08-2022, 06:54 PM
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#6425
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Originally Posted By Rebel012⏩
Regarding the restaurant girl, I wouldn't wait a couple days to respond. That's kinda a cringe pua game tactic. I get where you're coming from, but just a day at the latest. I'd respond tomorrow. Just be natural about it. And congrats on both the dates!
Yea bro I understand where you’re coming from. From my view, she took 3 days to reply so if I reply tomorrow that seems fine (will be 2 days for me)

I agree it’s dumb but in reality responding in one day after she took a while seems off putting. Either way tomorrow feels good to reach out to see if we can line something up this coming week.

Gonna head out with hinge girl now.
post 1672496233 12-08-2022, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Yea bro I understand where you’re coming from. From my view, she took 3 days to reply so if I reply tomorrow that seems fine (will be 2 days for me)

I agree it’s dumb but in reality responding in one day after she took a while seems off putting. Either way tomorrow feels good to reach out to see if we can line something up this coming week.

Gonna head out with hinge girl now.
People actually count the days to reply back?

I personally think that's overthinking it.

It's just too..."Extra"
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post 1672498363 12-08-2022, 07:40 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
I get the odd person has a job where they can't check their phone but making/confirming plans is almost the only time i expect prompt responses to texts. Grinds my gears when people make you wait on that.

Smalltalk I could care less.
I'm not getting upset about it or anything, but I've noted that I get a couple likes on Tinder here and there from fairly cute girls, we match, I message them, and then days go by and they haven't even read it, let alone responded to it. Weird.
post 1672504153 12-08-2022, 09:25 PM
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lol do not play texting games with females
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post 1672504893 12-08-2022, 09:38 PM
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#6429
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Definitely not playing too many messaging games. Gonna message the restaurant girl tomorrow, seems like a reasonable timeline.

My date was good tonight the girl was really chill and fun. Lots of laughs. I’d expect to see her again.
post 1672532513 12-09-2022, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted By bradlehman⏩
I'm not getting upset about it or anything, but I've noted that I get a couple likes on Tinder here and there from fairly cute girls, we match, I message them, and then days go by and they haven't even read it, let alone responded to it. Weird.
So many options on the apps for women. It either got buried beneath 30 other messages or they're focusing on someone else at the moment.

Nothing you can do really.

Personally I put a bit of effort into my first message or two in an effort to stand out that way. There are other philosophies re how to navigate the apps but I've found that has worked for me.
post 1672543033 12-09-2022, 01:42 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
So many options on the apps for women. It either got buried beneath 30 other messages or they're focusing on someone else at the moment.

Nothing you can do really.

Personally I put a bit of effort into my first message or two in an effort to stand out that way. There are other philosophies re how to navigate the apps but I've found that has worked for me.
Yeah, there was a pretty active Tinder thread on the Misc in years gone by that was pretty funny but also probably would have been pretty helpful if I hadn't been in a LTR at the time.

I thought I remembered reading in that thread at one point that messaging them right after matching was the way to go, but that hasn't made any difference so far. Granted, I messaged two people. Haha.
post 1672555333 12-09-2022, 04:59 PM
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#6432
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Most dudes are not blackpilled on dating apps

Girls on dating apps go for top ~1% of guys

If normies saw what a Chad's tinder messages were like they'd rope
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post 1672569403 12-09-2022, 09:22 PM
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#6433
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Originally Posted By xbluexhawkx⏩
Most dudes are not blackpilled on dating apps

Girls on dating apps go for top ~1% of guys

If normies saw what a Chad's tinder messages were like they'd rope
What does black pilled mean?

What's up with all these colors that people keep coming up with?
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post 1672573403 12-09-2022, 10:58 PM
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Originally Posted By iloveus⏩
What does black pilled mean?

What's up with all these colors that people keep coming up with?
it's just like the absolute extreme truth you don't want to hear

lots of guys on the apps don't realize what they're up against
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post 1672621543 12-10-2022, 05:43 PM
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#6435
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Originally Posted By xbluexhawkx⏩
it's just like the absolute extreme truth you don't want to hear

lots of guys on the apps don't realize what they're up against
The apps put hypergamy into overdrive for sure. For the average guy, your odds are better out in the real world.
post 1672624753 12-10-2022, 06:46 PM
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#6436
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Originally Posted By xbluexhawkx⏩
it's just like the absolute extreme truth you don't want to hear

lots of guys on the apps don't realize what they're up against
What's the absolute extreme truth?
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post 1672724273 12-12-2022, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Can I pay you to be my therapist? I feel better now. Haha seriously though, sound advice and I appreciate it.

Agree that age difference is not a big deal as long as we have common interests. I’m mid thirties and recently I noticed a bigger gap in maturity with some late twenties girls. But this girl seems cool and everyone is different. We’re going to try some beer together and it should be fun tomorrow.
hahaha.. you don't need a therapist. You just need to relax and don't overthink. Sooner or later you will burn out with thinking too much. Mid thirties is still young. If you are in no rush to start a family then just take your time. Finding someone that is compatible with you is hard and you want to make sure that she is the right person for you.

PS there are introverted women out there too.
Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
My date was good tonight the girl was really chill and fun. Lots of laughs. I’d expect to see her again.
Glad you had fun! When is the next date?
Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
Also, not sure if it's hypocritical/selfish of me but I think I'm going to look for women without kids as their schedule is likely to be a bit more flexible.
As much as I'm trying to be open to longterm possibilities, my priority at the moment is to just enjoy myself with someone who isn't dead set on jumping into anything serious.
You are not selfish. Wanting a woman without kids is your preference. Everyone has preferences. Have fun!
post 1672744913 12-12-2022, 09:49 PM
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#6438
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Originally Posted By SwimLiftRunGrl⏩
hahaha.. you don't need a therapist. You just need to relax and don't overthink. Sooner or later you will burn out with thinking too much. Mid thirties is still young. If you are in no rush to start a family then just take your time. Finding someone that is compatible with you is hard and you want to make sure that she is the right person for you.

PS there are introverted women out there too.



Glad you had fun! When is the next date?

I agree I need to relax. totally agree I have some time. It’s not helpful to rush things or panic, and to lament over not being at a certain stage at this part of my life (sometimes I find myself falling in that mental trap). We all have our own journey. I do like introverts I just usually tend to attract the outgoing girls. Open to either type as long as we have enough in common.

So I thought the hinge date younger girl date went well..then I thought she was ghosting me. I texted her Sat afternoon and she didn’t reply until today. I was going to write her off but she says she’s down to meet again and seems enthusiastic. I know she’s a self proclaimed “bad texter” but I’m not a fan of that. Still I would like to see her as overall she seems like a cool person and we had a fun time. But not texting back for two days is not great. Haven’t replied back yet.

Restaurant girl replied to my dm at first. I wrote back to suggest a meetup day and she hasn’t looked for a few days so I’m not really thinking she’s down. Or maybe she’s just too busy. Not too worried about it tbh.
post 1672759013 12-13-2022, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
So I thought the hinge date younger girl date went well..then I thought she was ghosting me. I texted her Sat afternoon and she didn’t reply until today. I was going to write her off but she says she’s down to meet again and seems enthusiastic. I know she’s a self proclaimed “bad texter” but I’m not a fan of that. Still I would like to see her as overall she seems like a cool person and we had a fun time. But not texting back for two days is not great. Haven’t replied back yet.
Not to be callous but move on from this girl. No girl that's highly interested is going to take 2 hours let alone 2 days(!!) to respond to a text. A self proclaimed "bad texter" is a red flag. Just my opinion.
post 1672766773 12-13-2022, 09:24 AM
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To be honest. Girls gets so many requests and texts on socials that it can get crowded or she just don't notice. I myself don't put notifications on for any app that I use. I find it annoying. She could have legitimately just didn't even know you messaged her.

Matching the energy in the circumstance could be a mistake. Text her back and confirm the plans.
post 1672770433 12-13-2022, 10:33 AM
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#6441
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Originally Posted By antman12⏩
Not to be callous but move on from this girl. No girl that's highly interested is going to take 2 hours let alone 2 days(!!) to respond to a text. A self proclaimed "bad texter" is a red flag. Just my opinion.
Appreciate the honesty brah. After thinking about it more rationally I agree. That’s not the kind of consideration I want and it’s a bad sign right off the bat. My time will very likely be better served elsewhere so I don’t plan to schedule another date with her at this point.
post 1672781383 12-13-2022, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted By InsanePain11⏩
Appreciate the honesty brah. After thinking about it more rationally I agree. That’s not the kind of consideration I want and it’s a bad sign right off the bat. My time will very likely be better served elsewhere so I don’t plan to schedule another date with her at this point.
Or you can put very minimal effort into it. Use the text to set up the date, confirm, that's it. Let her prove herself by putting in most of the effort. And of course keep focusing on other options as well til you find someone you really like and it's reciprocated
post 1672788873 12-13-2022, 04:09 PM
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#6443
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Originally Posted By Rebel012⏩
Or you can put very minimal effort into it. Use the text to set up the date, confirm, that's it. Let her prove herself by putting in most of the effort. And of course keep focusing on other options as well til you find someone you really like and it's reciprocated
This. I wouldn't necessarily give up completely based on this one time, but if it becomes a pattern in the near term, then bail. I definitely know girls who have hundreds of unread texts at any given time, not because they're juggling tons of guys but because they're texting a dozen friends and have a bunch of group chats going, etc. Things are bound to slip through the cracks (I know they do for me and I don't have anywhere near that number of texts at a time). If she's truly interested after another date, she'll make sure things don't fall through the cracks.
post 1672832203 12-14-2022, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted By bradlehman⏩
This. I wouldn't necessarily give up completely based on this one time, but if it becomes a pattern in the near term, then bail. I definitely know girls who have hundreds of unread texts at any given time, not because they're juggling tons of guys but because they're texting a dozen friends and have a bunch of group chats going, etc. Things are bound to slip through the cracks (I know they do for me and I don't have anywhere near that number of texts at a time). If she's truly interested after another date, she'll make sure things don't fall through the cracks.
My thoughts too.

If they're committing to meeting again that should be enough.

Everyone has different texting patterns but until you're basically in a relationship I don't think the ongoing texting is necessary.
post 1672839203 12-14-2022, 01:06 PM
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#6445
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I reassessed things and decided to text her back the day after she replied. I mentioned a plan and a couple options of times for this weekend. We’ll see what she comes back with (texted her last night)

She seems like a cool person. At the least she’s someone I can have some drinks with and get to know. I’m willing to see where it goes.
post 1673589403 12-26-2022, 10:13 PM
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#6446
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gonna ask out my crush again. She rejected me a year ago but I'm going for the kill. She's my only friend. It's either her or nothing. Dating apps don't work. Girls have too many options on those things. Even ugly ones.
post 1673606743 12-27-2022, 07:37 AM
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#6447
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Originally Posted By imbored21⏩
gonna ask out my crush again. She rejected me a year ago but I'm going for the kill. She's my only friend. It's either her or nothing. Dating apps don't work. Girls have too many options on those things. Even ugly ones.
You got to have an abundance mentality.

There are girls everywhere. You have too many options. If you don't then you need to work on yourself.
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post 1673755053 12-29-2022, 02:44 PM
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InsanePain11, you're a big overthinker. So am I.

It's a trait that helps in certain aspects of life, but it's detrimental in others -- notably relationships.

You have to recognize it and consciously let go to a large extent.

I tend to overthink decisions, but seems like you overanalyze intent more.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍

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post 1673760293 12-29-2022, 04:11 PM
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#6449
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
InsanePain11, you're a big overthinker. So am I.

It's a trait that helps in certain aspects of life, but it's detrimental in others -- notably relationships.

You have to recognize it and consciously let go to a large extent.

I tend to overthink decisions, but seems like you overanalyze intent more.
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post 1673775473 12-29-2022, 09:20 PM
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#6450
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Originally Posted By imbored21⏩
gonna ask out my crush again. She rejected me a year ago but I'm going for the kill. She's my only friend. It's either her or nothing. Dating apps don't work. Girls have too many options on those things. Even ugly ones.
How did it go?
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