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Forum » Wut Cocktail Accoutrements Shood I Get for Galuests
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Thread: Wut Cocktail Accoutrements Shood I Get for Galuests

post 1675877603 01-26-2023, 11:57 AM
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#1
  1. Ratfish
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Wut Cocktail Accoutrements Shood I Get for Galuests

goal: smooch redhead gals who possess 10/10 butthole aesthetics

most gals at bars i see drink gay vodka sodas (so does my boyo wait a second) but shood i rly be mixing that crap here

here in perthland, the vast majority of gals order monopolowa if they're not well-plebbing

a 5th is only 17 bucks

oregon trivia: did u know that all liquor and weed is controlled by the OLCC (oregon liquor and cannabis commission) and only sold in their approved stores. my mind is blown when i visit family over the border in washington and they sell liquor at the supermarket. what's cool is that if u want some esoteric crap, you can search for it and find out the price and which store it's in. i think our pricing is better than other areas but i dunno for sure.

i cood also get Portland Potato Vodka for 20 bucks if i wanna be a localmaxxer.

historically, i've been a ketelonecel, which is 22.95

grey goose is cheap af as well at 30 bucks for a 5th

bars have so much margin lel

now that i've typed this out, i dunno why i'm even mentioning pricing since a smooch is priceless

the real question is wtf do gals wanna drink (inb4 a lot bcuz ur bald...bastards)

i was thinking a bunch of vodka, limes (tbh i'll just buy lime juice umad), ice, soda water, Squirt (goat mixer), ginger ale

i'm already angosturamaxxing so i'm good there

i actually have a huge tome of cocktails so maybe i should just learn 1 and really knock their socks (panties) off

sometimes i run into a weirdo gal who only drinks gin. the best one imo is The Botanist @ 40 a bottle

ideally, i'd meet a truly piratical wench who wants to rummaxx

nibbas are legit sleeping on rum and wasting big money on whisky

rum trivia: did u know u can buy a 25 year old rum (wood be too old if it were a gal amireich) for 125 bucks. i bought my bro a bottle of 18yo macallan for 2fitty and a 25yo macallan is 2,750. can u imagine

maybe i should buy a mid-shelf bottle of rum, tequila, vodka, gin and bourbon since realistically i'm gonna be bringing a mid-shelf gal home

where's that one cocktail fgt when u need him
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675877673 01-26-2023, 11:58 AM
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Get you some Malort, son.
Doesn't shower with his dad crew
Dat feel when you taste sweat in your mustache crew
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post 1675877923 01-26-2023, 12:00 PM
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Try some ruskiy standart with holodets.
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post 1675877953 01-26-2023, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted By KurtMussell⏩
Get you some Malort, son.
wow, they actually sell that here

30 bucks

will the gals go blind tho (inb4 they already were if u took them home...bastards)
Originally Posted By cobhc⏩
Try some ruskiy standart with holodets.
18 bucks

u'd think the fgts here wood have banned all russian products
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675878093 01-26-2023, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
wow, they actually sell that here

30 bucks

will the gals go blind tho (inb4 they already were if u took them home...bastards)
They won't go blind, but after a swig of Malort, they won't be able to taste your dink. So don't worry about presenting a clean wiener.
Doesn't shower with his dad crew
Dat feel when you taste sweat in your mustache crew
This post is copyrighted and encrypted by diana maybrook
It don't matter. None of this matters.
post 1675878343 01-26-2023, 12:06 PM
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#6
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Tito's is my favorite vodka. I like it better than Goose and Belvedere. Never been a fan of Kettle One. Get some kalua and half and half so you can Thedudemaxx on white Russians
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post 1675878703 01-26-2023, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted By ispy⏩
chatgpt recommends:
if a "gal" wants you to mix "her" an old fashioned, u should have pulled a croc dundee in the bar srs
Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
Tito's is my favorite vodka. I like it better than Goose and Belvedere. Never been a fan of Kettle One. Get some kalua and half and half so you can Thedudemaxx on white Russians
i have heard people order tito's before a bunch of times now that u mention it. only 25 bucks

no gal in her 20s is gonna want a martini is she

i'm a fan of gibsons but i have to dress up as a boomer and sneak into a hotel bar to order one
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675878983 01-26-2023, 12:14 PM
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Titos for vodka (good for vodka soda, not sure about martinis)
Empress for gin & tonics
Beef Eater for gin martinis
Four Roses for Old Fashioneds or Manhattans

Idk rums, but definitely have some on hand for Mai Tais, Pina Coladas, or Pain killers if you're feelin tropical

Whatever tequila for shots. Patron always a good one.
See SuperHercules' sig
post 1675879243 01-26-2023, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted By ShakeBrah⏩
Titos for vodka (good for vodka soda, not sure about martinis)
Empress for gin & tonics
Beef Eater for gin martinis
Four Roses for Old Fashioneds or Manhattans

Idk rums, but definitely have some on hand for Mai Tais, Pina Coladas, or Pain killers if you're feelin tropical

Whatever tequila for shots. Patron always a good one.
i'll have a bunch of bottles of crap for if you or i pull a gal to my house for an after this weekend srs

shots not even once

u ever fukk with herradura

it's my fav tequila but at 50 a bottle, i'm not sure a gal deserves it
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675879343 01-26-2023, 12:18 PM
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Sloots love Fireball, get them that Bull shyt and keep it simple.
post 1675879413 01-26-2023, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
i'll have a bunch of bottles of crap for if you or i pull a gal to my house for an after this weekend srs

shots not even once

u ever fukk with herradura

it's my fav tequila but at 50 a bottle, i'm not sure a gal deserves it
yeah I don't usually do shots, but not a bad idea to have some ready for the sloots

never had herradura. I'm not a huge tequila drinker
See SuperHercules' sig
post 1675879463 01-26-2023, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Polaris⏩
Sloots love Fireball, get them that Bull shyt and keep it simple.
i'm not too lace curtain to drop an n-bomb at thanksgiving dinner, but i don't think i could have that in my house dedsrs inb4 havoc
Originally Posted By ShakeBrah⏩
yeah I don't usually do shots, but not a bad idea to have some ready for the sloots

never had herradura. I'm not a huge tequila drinker
i had this groce too smoky mezcal called Ilegal (biden wood call it Indocumentado) and this gal came over and drank a bunch of it and took all of her clothes off and was like on all fours on my couch begging me to fuark her and told her she didn't earn it lmao NO homo
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675879553 01-26-2023, 12:21 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
i'm not too lace curtain to drop an n-bomb at thanksgiving dinner, but i don't think i could have that in my house dedsrs inb4 havoc
Fireball for a fire crotch.

Know your audience.
post 1675879663 01-26-2023, 12:23 PM
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#14
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Originally Posted By Polaris⏩
Fireball for a fire crotch.

Know your audience.
fuark maybe i'll get some and hide it
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675880013 01-26-2023, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
begging me to fuark her and told her she didn't earn it lmaoNO homo
questionable lmao
See SuperHercules' sig
post 1675880123 01-26-2023, 12:32 PM
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#16
  1. cobhc
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Confirm if holodets or selyodka pod shubi will be present?
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RED BULL RACING
post 1675880203 01-26-2023, 12:33 PM
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#17
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Stopped reading half way through

You think too much
post 1675880223 01-26-2023, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted By cobhc⏩
Confirm if holodets or selyodka pod shubi will be present?
is that a metaphor for me trying to see her herring under a fur coat
Originally Posted By ShakeBrah⏩
questionable lmao
Originally Posted By Evolutionary1⏩
Stopped reading half way through

You think too much
brutal²
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675880873 01-26-2023, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
is that a metaphor for me trying to see her herring under a fur coat





brutal²
Or her meat jello
NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS
RED BULL RACING
post 1675881083 01-26-2023, 12:46 PM
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Seems like all basic broads will never turn down a margarita. Use that information however you need.
#
post 1675881183 01-26-2023, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted By jamalfudge⏩
Seems like all basic broads will never turn down a margarita. Use that information however you need.
damn, that's a legit point

i could just only do that and be guaranteed to win

i once dated this black gal who always ordered margaritas with sugar on the rim

legit every bartender cringed hard af
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post 1675883693 01-26-2023, 01:38 PM
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Originally Posted By jamalfudge⏩
Seems like all basic broads will never turn down a margarita. Use that information however you need.
true. definitely want some margarita mix (ingredients or just the store-bought mix) and tequila on standby
See SuperHercules' sig
post 1675896243 01-26-2023, 04:48 PM
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best i can do idk



Spoiler!
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post 1675896343 01-26-2023, 04:50 PM
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Variety pack #2 AND #3. You're in deep.
Doesn't shower with his dad crew
Dat feel when you taste sweat in your mustache crew
This post is copyrighted and encrypted by diana maybrook
It don't matter. None of this matters.
post 1675896963 01-26-2023, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted By KurtMussell⏩
Variety pack #2 AND #3. You're in deep.
inb4 i bring back no gals and i have to pull that crap out to make room for food (nothing is more depressing)
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675897113 01-26-2023, 05:00 PM
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keep it simple -

1. Espolon Blanco Tequila (Store in Freezer)
2. Seltzer/Sparkling Water (Any Fruit Flavor)
3. Ice
4. Straws
5. Stainless Steel Jigger - 2 oz./1 oz.
6. Fresh Limes
7. Nice Glasses
post 1675897173 01-26-2023, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
best i can do idk



Spoiler!
Not bad. Probably need to take a few nips out of each bottle so it doesn't look like they're untouched.
#
post 1675897383 01-26-2023, 05:05 PM
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Originally Posted By GordonXXX⏩
keep it simple -

1. Espolon Blanco Tequila (Store in Freezer)
2. Seltzer/Sparkling Water (Any Fruit Flavor)
3. Ice
4. Straws
5. Stainless Steel Jigger - 2 oz./1 oz.
6. Fresh Limes
7. Nice Glasses
Originally Posted By jamalfudge⏩
Not bad. Probably need to take a few nips out of each bottle so it doesn't look like they're untouched.
fuark, smart thinking
Make Europe Germany Again
post 1675897833 01-26-2023, 05:13 PM
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Just do Kamikaze shots. Anything else prob not worth the energy or expense.

Vodka/orange liqueur/lime juice. Shaken to chill.
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post 1675897873 01-26-2023, 05:13 PM
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#30
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Cocktail Weenies
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