I'm an electrical engineer at an oil and gas company (keeping it vague for obvious reasons). A few days per month, I travel to a production plant they own in a smaller city for meetings/consultation or sometimes to help out with technical issues. The employees are mostly labourers and equipment operators. They're all cool, I eat lunch with all the guys in the lunch room. Get along with them well.

Except for one guy, an equipment operator. As soon as this dude found out I'm an engineer, he's been a complete dick. He asked a bunch of questions at first, trying to make it seem like small talk - where I worked before this, where I went to school, etc.Felt like telling him to **** off, but that would obviously not be the smartest move. A few times after that, he just stopped talking, and would almost try to stare me down, walk past me like he was trying to bump into me etc.

Heard him talking **** when I was outside the lunch room about what wtf do I even do around here, I get paid all that money to be useless, etc. I walked in there and told him not to worry about wtf I'm doing, that anything I do is over his head anyway lmao. He stood up like he was gonna step to me but instead goes "yeah you think your a ****in tough guy" or some bull**** like that as he just walks out lmao. I went out for lunch, and then later that afternoon he comes in saying to move my car because I parked too close to his truck (a piece of **** Dodge Ram 1500). I'm a good five feet away from it, so I tell him I'm not moving **** and wtf is he gonna do about it. Dude is absolutely ****ing losing it for no reason.

By now it's clear that I make him insecure or something, so I'm thinking of how I can **** with him to make it worse. The next time I'm there, I had to switch out a small component of the control box for the equipment he operates, and that's when I get the idea lmao. Of course, this ****ing retard finds a way to come at me again for another confrontation, saying I didn't put the control box back where he wants it, that with all my "fancy education", I should have the common sense to put things back where they belong. The **** gets taken out of the equipment at the end of every day, and I probably put it like a foot over from were it usually is on the bench where it gets stored. I just laughed at him and shook my head and didn't say **** this time, and he storms off again as usual.

So on Saturday I had to go in for another issue because the plant isn't running on weekends. I picked up a couple big fat 12" dildos at a local erotica shop, the big rubbery whippy variety. His precious control box has 2 levers on it, basically joysticks, that are used to control the equipment. I noticed when I was working on it that there are no electrical components, wiring, or buttons within the levers themselves. So I skillsawed off the levers at the bases and epoxied the big boys to the lever bases. They cannot afford to shutdown for even an hour, and I secured the dildos low enough onto the lever bases that they will not be able to **** with it until they can order the new parts and get them in. That will take at least a week, maybe two. Dude is going to be caressing the BBC's for 60+ hours this week. Possibly another 60+ next week.

I'm back at the head office in my city and I'm sure I'm going to hear about it, but there's no way they can prove it was me. There aren't any cameras at the plant, nobody saw me, and there was enough maintenance staff with access working at the same time elsewhere in the plant that even if they suspect, they will never be able to prove it. As far as anyone knows, I last looked at that thing over a month ago.

I'm back there near the end of the month and I can't wait to sit in the lunch room and crack a few jokes about him knowing how to handle a shaft, or getting fond of using his hands or some **** like that lmao.

splendid OP,

I'm an electrical engineer at an oil and gas company (keeping it vague for obvious reasons). A few days per month, I travel to a production plant they own in a smaller city for meetings/consultation or sometimes to help out with technical issues. The employees are mostly labourers and equipment operators. They're all cool, I eat lunch with all the guys in the lunch room. Get along with them well.

Except for one guy, an equipment operator. As soon as this dude found out I'm an engineer, he's been a complete dick. He asked a bunch of questions at first, trying to make it seem like small talk - where I worked before this, where I went to school, etc.Felt like telling him to **** off, but that would obviously not be the smartest move. A few times after that, he just stopped talking, and would almost try to stare me down, walk past me like he was trying to bump into me etc.

Heard him talking **** when I was outside the lunch room about what wtf do I even do around here, I get paid all that money to be useless, etc. I walked in there and told him not to worry about wtf I'm doing, that anything I do is over his head anyway lmao. He stood up like he was gonna step to me but instead goes "yeah you think your a ****in tough guy" or some bull**** like that as he just walks out lmao. I went out for lunch, and then later that afternoon he comes in saying to move my car because I parked too close to his truck (a piece of **** Dodge Ram 1500). I'm a good five feet away from it, so I tell him I'm not moving **** and wtf is he gonna do about it. Dude is absolutely ****ing losing it for no reason.

By now it's clear that I make him insecure or something, so I'm thinking of how I can **** with him to make it worse. The next time I'm there, I had to switch out a small component of the control box for the equipment he operates, and that's when I get the idea lmao. Of course, this ****ing retard finds a way to come at me again for another confrontation, saying I didn't put the control box back where he wants it, that with all my "fancy education", I should have the common sense to put things back where they belong. The **** gets taken out of the equipment at the end of every day, and I probably put it like a foot over from were it usually is on the bench where it gets stored. I just laughed at him and shook my head and didn't say **** this time, and he storms off again as usual.

So on Saturday I had to go in for another issue because the plant isn't running on weekends. I picked up a couple big fat 12" dildos at a local erotica shop, the big rubbery whippy variety. His precious control box has 2 levers on it, basically joysticks, that are used to control the equipment. I noticed when I was working on it that there are no electrical components, wiring, or buttons within the levers themselves. So I skillsawed off the levers at the bases and epoxied the big boys to the lever bases. They cannot afford to shutdown for even an hour, and I secured the dildos low enough onto the lever bases that they will not be able to **** with it until they can order the new parts and get them in. That will take at least a week, maybe two. Dude is going to be caressing the BBC's for 60+ hours this week. Possibly another 60+ next week.

I'm back at the head office in my city and I'm sure I'm going to hear about it, but there's no way they can prove it was me. There aren't any cameras at the plant, nobody saw me, and there was enough maintenance staff with access working at the same time elsewhere in the plant that even if they suspect, they will never be able to prove it. As far as anyone knows, I last looked at that thing over a month ago.

I'm back there near the end of the month and I can't wait to sit in the lunch room and crack a few jokes about him knowing how to handle a shaft, or getting fond of using his hands or some **** like that lmao.

You won't ever leave. You have no life outside this forum.

I doubt you play tennis or any other sport. It's like your so-called eating disorder; you skipped lunch once, back in 2012 and ever since you've been trying to capitalize on it for attention; you hit a tennis ball once back in 2011 and now you just drink fattening long island iced teas at the country club and pretend you're an athlete.

Anyone can get over 1000 matches on tinder if they just swipe right long enough, but it's telling that you've never posted a single pic of yourself with any of these so-called chads. But even then, a pump and dump doesn't mean you are any more desirable than an old sock that some guy has wanked into.

You are actually truly pathetic. I deleted my previous comment because I felt guilty for being mean, but honestly,I think that was completely misplaced. I feel more sympathy for any poor incel who reads your posts and thinks that you are actually representative of women in general.

You're an embarrassment to the female gender. Please,for the love of god, grow up and don't even think about men, relationships or dating until such time as you are sane. Ie never. You will only cause damage to yourself and others around you.

lmfao bro that is a bad move if u have to work with him in the future but lulz af @ handling a shaft rofl

If he ever finds out it was me, he will probably legit try to kill me, but I'm sure he's going to be getting **** on by everyone between now and then, so my couple comments won't be out of the ordinary by then. Other than the fact that this dude already hates me lmao.

lmao he probably knows it was you

We'll see lmao. Gonna be hard as **** not to immediately laugh when I walk in there and see him though.

****ing lmao

Please update us OP

I'm on a 6 month contract. Roughly $13,000/month. Mostly office work, consultation, data analysis with occasion trips down to the plant for troubleshooting, technical issues, etc.

Focused mainly on optimization and analysis of a robotic manufacturing system they just had put into the plant.

10+ years experience.

I want to be leaf.

Even if it's fiction, I wanna hear the sequel OP. Pics of control box and ninja pics of angry coworker would make this thread of the year.

Will update once I get back down there or if I hear anything in the meantime lmao.

You sawed off a piece of likely capital equipment and epoxied a sex toy to it? Annnnd you expect us to believe this piece of fiction? Come on man... If you did that for real you'd be shown the door (or, in a more likely scenario, face criminal charges) in a few minutes. Granted, it was a believable read until that point.

So you decide to risk your job over some goof at work?

Nothing shows maturity like gluing dildos to workplace equipment

Lol there's no risk. Part of the reason I went for it is because one of those idiots drew a comic which portrayed the place as a dildo production plant and left it in the lunch room. It featured caricatures of management and several employees. He recieved a warning over it. They're probably going to think it was him, but like I said, they won't be able to prove it one way or another.

lmfao ur diabolical

No pics?

Didn't happen.gif

>Things that happened
> this

Pick one

Fake story or you're not very self-aware.

Hilarious story but really needs pics.

Should have put some sticky lotion or something on the dildos

Pics would be great but I’ll choose to be leaf this for now. Let us know the update. Sometimes you just have to force your haters to play with dildos. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.