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Forum » What’s your reaction when a girl starts talking about her “boundaries”?
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Thread: What’s your reaction when a girl starts talking about her “boundaries”?

post 1681448953 04-24-2023, 10:07 PM
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What’s your reaction when a girl starts talking about her “boundaries”?

Instant kick to the curb? Or willing to listen?

I had a recent experience with this, a girl was coming to travel with me and she started trying to “tell me her boundaries” ahead of time. My immediate response was, “I’m paying for your trip costs, and I don’t give a fuk”.

It was the correct response, and quickly put her deep into her place. But I learned that any girl talking about this chit ahead of a pleasure trip isn’t a girl worth traveling with.

Edit: Here's the chick if anybody was wondering.

https://imgur.com/a/SU2CmJi
post 1681449193 04-24-2023, 10:11 PM
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Boundaries means you are bound in the friendzone.
post 1681449203 04-24-2023, 10:11 PM
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Originally Posted By elterrible987⏩
its your first trip together? its supposed to be your honey moon phase. she is supposed to be her least bitchy and putting on her best behavior. feminism and endless validation from simps now got them acting like this even early on.
Yep, we had known each other for only like a week at that point. As soon as she said this, I went from super excited to nearly telling her to stay home.
post 1681449243 04-24-2023, 10:12 PM
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Proceed straight to full-nelson anal to test the boundaries
post 1681449343 04-24-2023, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted By SelfSerg⏩
Proceed straight to full-nelson anal to test the boundaries
Lol, she actually started talking about boundaries when I told her I wanted to do anal.
post 1681449493 04-24-2023, 10:17 PM
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post 1681449523 04-24-2023, 10:19 PM
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Yeah would ditch that bish
post 1681449593 04-24-2023, 10:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Boundaries are for yourself not other people.

Took me a long time to understand that.
This.

Also OP did you even bother to hear her "boundaries". Everyone has boundaries and to say that you don't have your own means you're a people pleaser.

Only abusers have an issue with bondaries, however abusers will twist "boundaries" into manipulative rules. Definitely something you have to assess on a case to case basis.
post 1681449683 04-24-2023, 10:23 PM
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
This.

Also OP did you even bother to hear her "boundaries". Everyone has boundaries and to say that you don't have your own means you're a people pleaser.

Only abusers have an issue with bondaries, however abusers will twist "boundaries" into manipulative rules. Definitely something you have to assess on a case to case basis.
No I didn’t listen. Because I was kinda pissed at her and genuinely wasn’t interested to know. She can stay home if she’s looking to give rules upfront.
post 1681449793 04-24-2023, 10:25 PM
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Nothing inherently wrong with that but if she’s saying that she’s probably picked that up from listening to dating podcasts and buzzfeee articles and that’ll be a problem
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post 1681449853 04-24-2023, 10:27 PM
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Originally Posted By OliverHeldens⏩
No I didn’t listen. Because I was kinda pissed at her and genuinely wasn’t interested to know. She can stay home if she’s looking to give rules upfront.
Boundaries aren't rules my guy. Maybe you're right her boundaries are BS, but you didn't listen so you'll never know. Just because you're paying for everything doesn't mean you get complete control lol.

Though based on this situation she'll probably let you get away with most things anyway.

To be fair women do tend to misuse "boundaries" for rules, but in this case we'll never know.
post 1681450023 04-24-2023, 10:33 PM
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
Boundaries aren't rules my guy. Maybe you're right her boundaries are BS, but you didn't listen so you'll never know. Just because you're paying for everything doesn't mean you get complete control lol.

Though based on this situation she'll probably let you get away with most things anyway.

To be fair women do tend to misuse "boundaries" for rules, but in this case we'll never know.
Paying for things allows you to make the rules. If you want complete control, you can have it. If she’s not interested she can stay home.

I have the benefit of hindsight here, and she ended up being an unpleasant person to send time with. I exercised my boundaries by leaving her ass in a foreign country and blocking her on all methods of contact.
post 1681450213 04-24-2023, 10:38 PM
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That would put me on red alert for a fake rape claim srs. Last time I had one of those, I decided not even to go through with it, just gave me bad vibes. I would at least be sure everything is documented, which you should be doing anyway.

A new girl should be sopping wet and talking about all the ways she wants you to ravage her, not hitting you with a laundry list of all the potential ways she can #metoo you.
post 1681450533 04-24-2023, 10:48 PM
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Set your boundaries too; you paid for the trip, she pays for everything else. Huehue

Boundaries are good, but what lead up to this? Should have been clear from the moment the trip was planned. Doing so over time or some time after would make me think too.
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post 1681451323 04-24-2023, 11:09 PM
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Idk, never dated a girl on house arrest.
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post 1681451633 04-24-2023, 11:20 PM
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yeah, screw effective and open communication and setting expectations.
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post 1681451643 04-24-2023, 11:21 PM
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"Boundaries" is a shibboleth. Just using that word tells you so much about a person and who they listen to.

It's like if I use the phrase "USSA". You instantly know that I'm a far-right doombear. And by knowing that I'm a far right doombear, you can also correctly infer that I'm a racist, a sexist, a homophobe, own a dozen guns, and hang out on a dying gay Indian bodybuilding forum every day. You'll never find a USSA guy who also has a "Love is love" sign in their yard.

"Boundaries" tells you that this girl is A. fixated on reading about relationship drama and B. has all sorts of left-wing Reddit type bullchit in her ear. I'm an incel, so I'd deal with it cause any port in a storm. But if you're a guy with options? Fukking next.
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post 1681451963 04-24-2023, 11:35 PM
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Let's look at it like this;

Young single man offers to take a young single woman on vacation for free where they will spend the week together. They are not best friends etc. She takes him up on the offer?

What are the expectations here? What did she expect? What is she getting and what is he getting? How does the woman value you this compared to the man?

This is kinda stupid. Any decent woman would immediately think "Sooo, alone on a trip with some dude. Sex is likely to come up, so this is a bad idea if I don't want sex. If I don't want sex, I shouldn't put myself in such a position, nor should I say yes just to get a free trip and then give him nothing of value in return.
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post 1681452013 04-24-2023, 11:37 PM
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I say "Let me stop you right there" and tell her my boundaries, and one of my boundaries is her telling me her boundaries, then I tell her loudly "NO MEANS NO!" and to stop sexually harassing me.
Would kick em in the nuts
post 1681452243 04-24-2023, 11:51 PM
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Originally Posted By Kraken⏩
Let's look at it like this;

Young single man offers to take a young single woman on vacation for free where they will spend the week together. They are not best friends etc. She takes him up on the offer?

What are the expectations here? What did she expect? What is she getting and what is he getting? How does the woman value you this compared to the man?

This is kinda stupid. Any decent woman would immediately think "Sooo, alone on a trip with some dude. Sex is likely to come up, so this is a bad idea if I don't want sex. If I don't want sex, I shouldn't put myself in such a position, nor should I say yes just to get a free trip and then give him nothing of value in return.
Yes this is common sense but many women think their company alone is worth the world, like guys really want to hear about their slooty friends or work drama at their email HR job.
post 1681452343 04-24-2023, 11:58 PM
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Id wonder who’s the dude that she wouldn’t have any boundaries at all with
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post 1681452373 04-24-2023, 11:59 PM
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instant kick to the curb, this is just the beginning of more chit

100% ded srs
Originally Posted By Ken-O⏩
Id wonder who’s the dude that she wouldn’t have any boundaries at all with
boom
post 1681459603 04-25-2023, 06:15 AM
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Originally Posted By elterrible987⏩
he knew her for a week, you dont get it, a woman really into you should be chill and on her best behavior, especially in the early stages, not bitching and nagging you.
yes, nobody should be settling for anything less.
post 1681474143 04-25-2023, 10:45 AM
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I remember I went through a phase of this when I tried online dating lol. These girls would use these “therapy style” buzzwords with me that they thought were taking control of the situation but were in reality just dead giveaways to me that they were damaged goods.

Anytime a girl would play some **** like that with me I would basically just look at them like they were crazy and had no idea what they were talking about and say something like “I’m not sure what you mean by boundaries or whatever, but I don’t think anyone should do something they’re not comfortable with so it’s up to you.”

But that’s true for me, if I took a girl on a trip that I wasn’t clearly dating and hooking up with, I wouldn’t have those expectations.

My whole thing is that I believe if you’re looking for a real relationship, it’s not fair to take YOUR baggage from the previous relationship and put in on the next person. It’s also not fair to go in to the next person with a “I’m NEVER going to let what _______ did to me happen ever again.” Girls with this kind of mentality are perpetually single and on these dating apps. They’re so desperate to get a pathway to a relationship set in concrete, that they don’t let a real relationship develop naturally and the guy walks (if he’s a good guy).

It’s really sad actually.




But in this case I think Kraken was right and it was mainly this. She either didn’t want to have sex (for real) or she was on with sex, but didn’t want to feel cheap and used. Like she OWES you sex for the trip.

If you hadn’t had sex at that point, then it’s likely she didn’t want sex at all on the trip.



Originally Posted By Kraken⏩
Let's look at it like this;

Young single man offers to take a young single woman on vacation for free where they will spend the week together. They are not best friends etc. She takes him up on the offer?

What are the expectations here? What did she expect? What is she getting and what is he getting? How does the woman value you this compared to the man?

This is kinda stupid. Any decent woman would immediately think "Sooo, alone on a trip with some dude. Sex is likely to come up, so this is a bad idea if I don't want sex. If I don't want sex, I shouldn't put myself in such a position, nor should I say yes just to get a free trip and then give him nothing of value in return.
I have the benefit of hindsight here, and she ended up being an unpleasant person to send time with. I exercised my boundaries by leaving her ass in a foreign country and blocking her on all methods of contact
Give us the details
post 1681474463 04-25-2023, 10:52 AM
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post 1681475163 04-25-2023, 11:07 AM
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It’s weird for sure.
Like I get it if she says I have fear of heights.
Or sexually if she says she doesn’t like getting spanked.

But if she basically has a list of boundaries.
I kinda start thinking about prostitutes.
Because those are the only girls that list their boundaries.
post 1681475453 04-25-2023, 11:12 AM
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any girl that talks about her "boundaries" is a ****ing trainwreck
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post 1681475463 04-25-2023, 11:13 AM
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Did she say what they were or did you just say no thanks when she mentioned having them???

I guess if you want a woman who literally has none and lets someone she hardly knows do anything and everything he wants to her then you saved yourself wasted time.
post 1681475593 04-25-2023, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Boundaries are for yourself not other people.

Took me a long time to understand that.
Holy sh*t.....You're right.
post 1681475713 04-25-2023, 11:16 AM
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Boundaries disappear with booze......
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