Like with anything else you take what works for you and disregard the rest.

Some ppl get sucked into the 'self improvement' rabbit hole and don't actually end up doing anything with their life, because they're getting enough mental masturbation from the self help content. But I
never had a victim mentality so I that doesn't apply to me

For me I used it sometimes as a reference, if I'm struggling with crap like procrastination or brain fog, it helps to calibrate myself. I watch Jocko Willink for the same reason.

I've gotten more from some youtube videos than I have gotten from full on therapy sessions. If you're gonna argue that he's a grifter, well yea prob but who cares? Everyone is out to make a living, nobody
works for free.

Different strokes for different folks. I find it helpful to have an understanding of why and how, so I can work on ways to work through the why's and how's. But not everyone needs to or cares to know.

I’m at a point where I simply don’t care anymore with being unliked by damn near everyone I work with or engage with in a social conversation. I try to be as objective as possible when I analyze how I come across with people, so that I can work on improving social etiquette.

Not sure what I have to do anymore. I used to be “too quiet and shy.” Now, people get offended by freaking banter (when I obviously mean nothing with intent when it comes to banter).

I can’t tell if I have a genuine problem with how I act around people that has resulted in no friends, or if people are just so fooking weird in todays world that they’re so easily offended by everything. Frankly, I don’t care like I used to anyways. Just a bit of a rant here.

There are many who are easily offended these days. The important thing is to be true to yourself and it is on other people what they do in response. I have to remind myself of this several times and remind myself to just be me and let the chips fall where they may.

One of the worst parts about depression is that when you vent to people you’re seen as a negative complainer and understandably nobody wants to be around that chit, so they slowly begin to distance themselves from you. But if you keep it all bottled inside that’s just as bad if not worse. Just a lose-lose situation all around.

I agree and definitely have had this happen, which sucks so much. But, I have been doing a much better job at curating my social circle and having friends that are understanding of adddiction, mental health/illness, and recovery from those things. It is possible to find individuals who will provide a listening ear and their perspective or support. However, it has to be balanced, like most things in life. I am also able to provide a listening ear and support to my close friends/family when they need it. I feel that communication is key as well as setting boundaries (which can be very difficult) so that both individuals in the relationship have a time and place to discuss their challenges or be that listening ear. With these boundaries comes a definition between venting and expressing; I believe the relationship will benefit more when each person expresses their thoughts and feelings versus just dumping a load of negative stuff onto one person.

Genuinely nothing to do on the weeknds. When I'm not staring into my cute sugarbabies eyes/falling in love with her, I'm so bored. I just want to hold her and keep her safe. Outside of that my life is just so boring. I won't see her for another week.

Yeah and when depression is bad it’s ALL I can think about. Like when you’re in severe pain it’s impossible to think about anything else.

I often think I’m not doing enough to make social improvements, when the reality is that this isn’t entirely true. I do make an effort, and that’s where the frustration then comes; with the constant rejection from people, I then start wondering what else I have to do.

I’ve damn near given up on making any effort at all. Thus, if I don’t even make the effort to get a girl’s number, go out to the bar, etc; I then further beat myself up for not “trying” anymore. And then the cycle continues.

I seem to be much better when I just simplify my routine. Instead of seeking a normal social life, maybe I should just move on from that fantasy and accept the cards I’m dealt with? That’s not a healthy balance either. This is where I’m at right now.

You can do both! Practicing acceptance and gratitude with your current situation helps with bringing peace and mindfulness into your mind while also recognizing your ambition for positive changes in your life. I believe that there is, and probably should be, a balance between the two instead of black or white thinking (cognitive distortion). I like to keep the serenity prayer in mind for times like these; there are going to be some things that you have no control over, such as how people with respond to your interactions, and then there will be things that you do have control over, such as your response/behavior to that interaction.

Good point, and it’s something to work on. Thank you.

Same here! It's a journey and a process

I concur completely! The Serenity Prayer is an advanced thermonuclear weapon against frustration. I don't know how many times I've recited it in my mind, if I found a situation to be frustrating, boring, or requiring courage or unusual ambition, or in mourning, etc. - that almost always gets me where I need to be.

It is set up with a Christian premise, of course, but that can be modified. If one prefers, one may substitute "God, grant me the serenity..." with "I shall strive for the serenity..." (or "I shall strive for, and find, the serenity...") and that works, too. Even if prayer works, for which objective measures don't exist, this alternate version changes the roles of the parties involved.

It can be adapted for other belief systems, so Allah, Buddah, Maker of Wind, etc. can also be used.

Reciting with "God...", passes the role to another being, and the person reciting the Prayer takes the role as the person waiting for a solemn request to be answered. The results are also unknown because God may indeed grant the request, but the person may never realize it. Recited with "I shall...", means that whoever recites the Prayer is ORDERING THEMSELVES ("shall") to seek that serenity, courage, and wisdom from within themselves. That is Unobtainium or elusive for some people, in which case the "God" option should work better. I'll choose which way to recite it, and I USE EITHER VERSION, or sometimes both. If I feel that I need help, I'll use the "God" version, but if I feel I can handle it myself I'll use the "I shall" version. Using the "I shall" version when possible, helps me to continue to exercise that ability. It's also more likely that after the "I shall" version, the direct involvement means paying more attention to the fruits of the request, and therefore one is more likely to realize that HEY, I CAN DO THIS.

Using the "I shall" is analogous to bodybuilding of one's coping mechanisms!

The Serenity Prayer. Not just for 12-step programs anymore.

Thanks for the addition, you're absolutely right! I agree that the takeaway can be separated from the prayer and higher power. The idea of distinguishing between things we can and can't control combined with the acceptance of that fact is a very powerful tool/mindset. It's so easy to get angry, depressed, anxious, and etc when we perseverate over things that are out of our control. And not focusing on and prioritizing the things we can change can lead to stagnation and little growth.

Listen to "presence-dear depression" on youtube
Have to keep yhwh (yahweh) going

Just to let everyone know I had an nde experience in a mental hospital when I didn't even do anything bad I was just practicing martial arts? Apparently it's bad to throw kyokoshin karate kicks, rolling thunders. Then bring myself back a Couple times then a. Being made of golden hue bringing me back then me bringing myself back and feeling like I got raped cuz my pemis felt good...I don't like pleasure cuz then I have pleasure and don't care what happens when I doe cuz when I went into a dreamlesd state and nothingness and wasn't aware and loved it a whole lot more

Man depression hit hard today with some huge arguments with my family. I usually don't get angry but things got ugly with inheritances involved.

wont be any inheritances from one side of the family (no property or anything else of any real value), so I wont have to worry about that at least.
The other side, it's questionable. Will probably put us at the bottom of the list.

Even your family thinks you're an insufferable kunt, lmao

Sometimes I just wanna give up because I know I’ll never be successful and I don’t even give a fuk about trying to hustle to get ahead. I don’t have the energy left. I’m broken down and beaten mentally. I don’t even mind being a loser. I kind of find peace in it, but my loved ones have expectations of me so gotta keep pushing forward.

Hang in there bro. You are not alone and we've all been there at some point. Don't let society define success for you. Find out what it means for you and strive to live up to that. Keeping up with the Jones is a never ending rat ace and never give you any fulfilment.

absolutely everything is tainted by overthinking

Truth! I fall into this trap all too often and have to remind myself to look at the basic bare facts.

Yeah, it's like everything you do - you have the over arching thought of "damn, this isn't gonna last forever. (applies to both good and bad)".

whether you're with friends, family, work folk - it's just a constant sombre realisation/reminder that everything you love must come to an end - and it's absolutely heartbreaking

Yeah and that robs you of the joy of the moment. I sometimes have to intentionally tell myself, embrace the now, live in the moment, life is much better when i can do that

absolutely dude. look at all other animals. look at a dog - you reckon he/she is concerned about yesterday or tomorrow

And yet they have so much enjoyment in the moment, no worries only embracing the moment.

well, as far as we know they're enjoying it. I don't think enjoyment even equates, I think it's just contentment.

perhaps happiness is too overpromised in human society

I think you are on to something with looking for contentment (maybe even acceptance) instead of always looking to be happy. Emotions come and go, but being content and having acceptance last through the emotions.