The purpose of this thread is to go on dates so I can find a girlfriend. It isn't to send silly messages that will get me blacklisted.
I'll keep those in mind, but not really in the mood to send such things.
Theperfectcombo, eh? I sense a bit of sarcasm. Again, it's not just about sex. It's forming a relationship with someone I love and care for.

Going forward, I strive to use what I've learned from this thread in tandem with ChatGPT when I'm in the early stages of texting a woman.

I put the entire conversation withKinto ChatGPT and asked it for advice. Here's what it gave me. I highlighted a potential message I could eventually send her. It's pretty good, imo. I'd get rid of "Hey [her name]" and the exclamation point at the end. I'd also be a bit more specific and empathize with her break up.

Potentially more like, "I apologize for coming on so strongly. I enjoyed our conversation at the mall, but got a bit carried away with my texts. I'm sorry to hear about your break up. I completely understand and respect where you're coming from. If you're ever up for a chat or coffee as friends, let me know. Take care."

I think sending her a message may give me closure (assuming that's where things end).



Regardingtimingof the message:

Seems like you're limiting yourself right now, trying to pursue women who you aren't compatible with because you're so far on the spectrum. Actively searching for a girl who is just as much on the spectrum would actually help you a lot. It's meant as legit advice. You're now wasting hours a day approaching random women and you can't even keep them interested for more than a few text messages.

You're way better off going for a cute autistic chick in her late 20s than going for used up single mums who just want a provider.One of his problems is actually that he's listening to EVERY advice. One miscer tells him something and he'll blindly follow the advice. A week later a different miscer advises OP to do the complete opposite and he'll do it just as blindly.

Not compatible with? I've made mistakes, and I'm owning up to them and doing my best to not repeat them. Maybe this is progress: While I appreciate your advice, I am not going to seek out an autistic woman.

It's true that I've tried to listen to every piece of advice and implement it immediately, sometimes without thought (perfect example of this is when myformerfemale friend suggested I send selfies toK). I've had a bad habit of making hasty decisions. This thread has been very beneficial to me in helping me realize my faults. I'm doing my best.

Still sounds like you'd have romantic intentions (yes, evaluating potential is romantic) with this friendship, so "no expectations" is still dishonest.

I can't decide whether you're trying to lie to us ITT or you just don't recognize how this is dishonest.Recapping, what do you think you have learned about yourself? What have you improved/what do you think you can improve?

I don't know if she and I are compatible. I'm trying to start small. If romance blossomed naturally, I'm confident we'd both know when it's time to take it past just friendship.

1. I've learned that I need to become lean to be the best version of myself. This was clear to me when I was around 174 lbs and had a fat face. I have poor fat distribution in my face, so even 16-18% body fat is going to make me look fat in the face.
2. I've learned I can jump the gun with women and come across as a desperate, needy beta male. I'm learning to be more casual and match the woman's energy in the early stages of texting and getting to know them.
3. I've learned I need to look the part if I'm going to approach women in public. This led me to buying clothes that fit better and are more stylish (e.g., my new shorts, Boss shirts, and basketball shoes) and ensuring I'm keeping my hair nice and presentable.
4. I've learned to take my time. I can't act like I need to win a woman over in under a week or else she'll be gone forever. It generally has the opposite effect of what I'm intending (i.e., it scares them away).

1. I can improve my facial harmony with a rhinoplasty, if I choose. I understand this is controversial, but it is undeniable that my nose is a failo.
2. I can tone down the autistic messaging and self-deprecating humor. For example, I shouldn't say things like, "I'm working on improving my smile," to a woman I just met. It makes me sound like I lack self-confidence.
3. I can improve my ability to move around by getting a car.
4. I can improve my style by getting a watch and potentially some jewelry.
5. I can improve on trying to start a natural conversation when approaching a woman. Instead of, "Hey, you're beautiful, what's your name?" I can try, "Hey, that's a great necklace - where did you get it from?" I should carry the conversation naturally for at least a minute or two before asking for her number.
6. I can improve my skin by utilizing exfoliating scrubs, moisturizer, and cleanser, to name a few. I may visit a dermatologist soon to hear his/her recommendations.
7. I can improve on not being the stereotypicalnice guy. I should have more backbone and be willing to leave someone onreadif they're acting stupid, desperate, etc.
8. I can improve my mental state by trying to not be so anxious about relationships or potential relationships with women. Part of this is related to therapy that I should be getting.
9. I can improve my physical health by going to physical therapy for my chronic pain.

Why not? All of these things, which is a huge list, that you are trying to change about yourself, you wouldn't have to change. She'd accept all those weird and creepy things because she'd think the same way as you do.

Wouldn't finding a compatible woman be A LOT better than trying to change your entire personality, looks and behaviour?

Really doesn't address my post at all. Dunno if I should still respond ITT.Better list than I was expecting. I think matching energy in texting is something you still have a ways to go with. Mental state/anxiety about a relationship too. Think I alluded to this in an earlier post, but it probably doesn't help that you don't seem to have much going on outside of work/pursuing random women/posting on a gay bodybuilding forum (no hobbies, guy friends).

Curious to see what anybody else thinks.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this. I'm not limiting myself to a small percentage of the adult female population.I'm much more cognizant of matching energy, and I've realized it's okay to not respond immediately to a text message. In fact, it's probably best to give it some time just to think things through, at the very least. At my prior employer, part of my job involved being in charge of a general mailbox in Outlook. There were tons of emails that came into the inbox. I took pride in being able to accurate and quickly address the questions and fire off replies. I've carried this businesslike approach to my dating life and I realize that's the wrong thing to do.

Yeah, I don't have much of anything going on right now outside of work aside from cooking, cleaning, exercising, and stretching. Work has been super boring and unfulfilling this year as well, even though I enjoy the pay and am grateful for the job. I could use friends to hang out with. I didn't mention it, but I met 3 tall guys at the mall and was talking to one of them for several minutes. He is a legit Giga Chad. He's 6'6" and good looking. I told him what I was doing there and he said he'd like to see me approach a woman. I should have asked them for their IGs to keep in touch. Kind of a fail on my part because maybe they would have become my friends.

I went to the gym this evening and saw several women, all Latinas, who looked really good. I see most of them almost every time I'm there on Monday or Wednesday. One of the younger Latinas glanced at me and smiled (seemed genuine) as I was approaching to workout near her and her friend. I intend on approaching her another time and breaking the ice before asking for her number. It's not like I have to force an approach - I'll see these women again. It's better to approach her when she's working out alone. Her friend is even more attractive.

I like how one of my inspirations for looksmaxing seems to have the same phone and case as I do.

Any tips for improving my outfit? I'm going to buy better socks. Those are over-the-calf socks. I'll also buy a watch.

Get contact lenses you look like Harry Potter.

A. Do not send a ChatGPT apology message to K. Never apologize unless you've done something trulywrong(as opposed to not ideal, dorky, or whatever). Maintain NC. Trying to salvage it will only result in her continuing to not respond and/or you humiliating yourself (most likely both).

B. Get some shirts without the obnoxious BOSS branding. It most likely comes across as too try-hard. Also, you're an adult man. This may be an unpopular opinion, but Jordans are for teenagers and shoe geeks. Get some minimalist adult sneakers.

C. Something seems off about the hair thing you're doing recently. You have pretty good hair. I'd try parting it to the side or doing something like your "inspiration" guy. Matting it all down toward the front doesn't look very good. Between that and the outfit, you look like a very large 8-year-old in the most recent pic (I mean this in a way meant to be helpful, not simply critical).

This was the very first and most obvious piece of advice he got. I think OP's autistic brain has created some weird set of rules that he must have <10% bf and rhinoplasty prior to getting contacts.Agree, needs to go to a professional stylist and show them the pic of what he wants.

In to check if OP has finally made the smart decision to try and seek out an autistic gf.

OP has a lean face and visible forearms/bicep veins in relaxed poses. I would spend zero time worrying about body fat percentage at this time. There are much more pressing concerns.

Lol. I feel like I keep saying it, but I will be taking some more time off soon, partly because I need to see an optometrist and pick out new glasses. I'll also order contacts. I hate the idea of going without my glasses; I feel uglier because of my nose. :/Brad, you're going to roast me. After iterating on the content of the message and thinking about the timing, I decided to send the message last night (3.5 days after her message). I did it because I wanted to get closure for myself (assuming she never replies) and let her know that I'm not harboring some evil thoughts such as stalking. I know some people in this thread thought I gave off stalker vibes, including Luc1fer, so I wanted to quash that idea. I royally screwed up by being excessively eager, quadruple texting, and sending selfies. I felt like this was much different from the situation with the woman who has a boyfriend. In that case, I did NOT do anything wrong, so I went NC, per the advice here. I'm never texting that woman with a boyfriend again unless she reaches out to me. I'm also going NC withKbecause I've made my peace.



I'll look into some other ideas for high quality men's fashion tonight. If you have any specific examples, feel free to share. I'm willing to spend a bit of money to upgrade my wardrobe.

I kind of like the new haircut. It's a style I've never had before, but wanted to try. I am going to grow it out and mix the styles up. I've worn it up or similar to Kieran in the photo above, but wanted to try the fade (i.e., short sides) and bangs look.You are spot on about the mental block I have about contacts and the low body fat and rhinoplasty. When referencing men who are considered attractive by the general population, it's nearly impossible to find a man who is NOT high status and is considered attractive with a nose similar to mine. I concluded that a rhinoplasty would increase my facial harmony and therefore allow me to wear contacts or glasses without worrying about any negative perceptions.

I went to a stylist who's been cutting hair for 33 years, but he messed up the fade. I'm not going back to that hair salon. I'll find a better one for my next haircut.No, not doing that. So many attractive women who are NT.Thanks for saying that, Brad. I am a little over 6 weeks into my cut and it's been going well. I'm insanely dedicated. I track everything and do not cheat at all. I agree there are more concerns to address, but the cutting is relatively easy for me and I feel as though it suits me. My jaw and cheekbones will look so much better when I'm lean.

Coming off a rough breakup is the female cop-out. It's the same thing as me saying "I'm sorry I just didn't feel that spark", which I've used a few times in the past.

If I had to guess, I'd say she made it up to let me off easy and try to avoid, as Luc1fer said, astalkersituation (which I'd never do).

I don't know that I agree with this. Posters have given a lot of good advice and have generally been in agreement about losing the glasses, not messaging "K" or trying to be friends when he actually wants a relationship, etc. He ignores a lot of the helpful suggestions. Thankfully it does seem like the fake tattoos are gone, so maybe we are making a small amount of progress here.

Can confirm the fake tattoos were a one time thing. I'll experiment with contacts once I get them soon. For reasons stated above, I felt it was appropriate to make my peace withK.

Lol'd. I am not ignoring all advice. Also, we have two scenarios: 1. I went NC with the woman who has a boyfriend 2. I messed up withKand decided to send an apology and an open invitation to reconnect.

We can see which strategy, if any, results in a reply.

I made an optometry appointment for this Thursday morning.

Talking to the single mom who has COVID. I decided to be a bit ballsy and ask her if she's open to keeping our date for tonight, just changing it from the restaurant to my place. I got cock blocked by COVID.

Holy hell boyo, get contact lenses ASAP and grow a beard. If you cold approached me at a mall I would fuking run, no offense. Also, change your hairstyle for fuks sake.

Edit:




Jesus Christ I'm out.

I have a Dutch buddy who sounds EXACTLY like OP and I've been following his journey for 5+ years now. It's the exact same autistic chit where he goes "day gaming" etc. Of course it hasn't gone anywhere for him in all of those years. You just can't change a person that's that far on the spectrum.

OP can't text 5 times back and forth with a chick without messing it up. There's no advice in the world that is going to help him, and there's a simple reason why. He can try and follow the advice, but he won't truly understand it. He'll never be able to correctly identify all of the social situations and how to act in each one of them. You can't solve this problem with rational thinking. You'll give him some rules, "do this, don't do that", but he'll never understand why or when to apply them.

[QUOTE=Coal Man post_id=1690329973]Holy hell boyo, get contact lenses ASAP and grow a beard. If you cold approached me at a mall I would fuking run, no offense. Also, change your hairstyle for fuks sake.

Edit:
[img]https://i.imgur.com/Pha9hmr.png[img]

Jesus Christ I'm out.[/QUOTE]I'm getting the contact lenses as soon as I can. My appointment with the optometrist is this Thursday morning. I can't grow a beard. Change my hairstyle? It evolves. I try different styles.

Lol'd at your last sentence.

[QUOTE=Barteh post_id=1690330033]I have a Dutch buddy who sounds EXACTLY like OP and I've been following his journey for 5+ years now. It's the exact same autistic chit where he goes "day gaming" etc. Of course it hasn't gone anywhere for him in all of those years. You just can't change a person that's that far on the spectrum.

OP can't text 5 times back and forth with a chick without messing it up. There's no advice in the world that is going to help him, and there's a simple reason why. He can try and follow the advice, but he won't truly understand it. He'll never be able to correctly identify all of the social situations and how to act in each one of them. You can't solve this problem with rational thinking. You'll give him some rules, "do this, don't do that", but he'll never understand why or when to apply them.[/QUOTE]It's been 2 months since I've started this thread. There have been some close ones and yes, I've made mistakes. I'm not giving up.

Here's the 23 y/o I met at the mall this past Saturday. I think this one's ogre. I'm not sending her another message unless she sends me something about meeting up.

[img]https://i.imgur.com/7ZP7mdY.png[/img]

[QUOTE=ArCaNe66 post_id=1690333693]I'm getting the contact lenses as soon as I can. My appointment with the optometrist is this Thursday morning. I can't grow a beard. Change my hairstyle? It evolves. I try different styles.

Lol'd at your last sentence.


It's been 2 months since I've started this thread. There have been some close ones and yes, I've made mistakes. I'm not giving up.

Here's the 23 y/o I met at the mall this past Saturday. I think this one's ogre. I'm not sending her another message unless she sends me something about meeting up.

[img]https://i.imgur.com/7ZP7mdY.png[/ig][/QUOTE]Although you should probably stop creeping out random girls, you don't have to in order to ALSO specifically seek out autistic chicks you vibe with. It will just be much much better for you overall.

Some women hate being approached in public while others find it flattering and are willing to entertain an approach. I try to approach in public. I had a great conversation with that 43 y/o GILF, so it's not like I can't hang with NT women. Was thinking of asking her out on a date, but haven't decided. Just going through my very small rolodex.

Hi, Goober here. Yes, it's much better in person. I think the closest I got tosealingin person was withK. If she had the same idea I had, she would have replied to me the night she met me when I asked her, "Want to hangout?" I've never met a woman who texted herself from my phone, expressed such a high level of interest, and texted me saying she'd write to me when she got out of work. I thought the signs were pointing in the direction of a hookup, but for some reason that wasn't the case.

I guess in certain scenarios I could ask them what they're doing later that day or right now. I'll try to get the number and confirmation of a date. That would be nice. However, I feel that comes across as desperate, but I'm sure it works for some guys if the woman is highly interested. I can try to gauge her level of interest and go for it. That's essentially what I did withK.

No idea what the hell an NT woman is, can you speak non-autistic English please?