Wtf how old are these guys???

I'm curious if love-bombing is part of their schtick or if they're all just THAT desperate/clingy.

I've found after working on myself and investing a ton in other aspects of my life that it's raised the bar for what I want out of dating (a good thing) but simultaneously makes me cynical on whether or not time spent dating will be "worth it."
But I'm also aware there are still a few things I need to work on to have the optimal mindset and give off the best energy for when I do put myself out there.

While it might take some time and effort along the way, I think like-minded people who want to find their match eventually will.

I'm done with dating for now, have been for a couple months now. My dating apps are looking mighty healthy tho.

Thousands of matches on Tinder, Hinge, and ******** Dating. I treat dating apps like most women do, a straight up validation tool nothing more.

It sucks that so many men have such a hard time with dating. I've been here since the OG Tinder threads. I miss the days were winning, posting stories n pics. Good ****ing times.

Now the majority of cats are bitter and jaded constantly whining about apps. Sad.

I like hot ABGs like Sarina Song. So sick of matching with fat white/mexican/black girls. -_-

This girl I dated a couple years ago just a few times, never officially- I was out of a ltr and was dumb at telling she liked me back then, and I was depressed about my ex and didn’t know how to date so I didn’t pursue her (learning experience)- she then moved out of state, but texts me when she visits and we met up in July. Sweet girl, responsible, cute (rare combo). But I didn’t follow up because again, she’s living out of state and also she told me she didn’t think she wants kids.

I randomly thought about her again and texted her today and asked her to FaceTime after a few texts. She said she will but feels like she should tell me she started dating someone. I’ve been bad at dealing with things like this the past few years, letting things get me down. So I’m using this as an opportunity to just feel the sting, not resist it, let it process and accept it.

Just planning to wish her luck and respect the boundary and not FaceTime her. May reply with Something like “Ah no worries. Always will wish you the best. I’ll just respect that.’

Logically and realistically it wasn’t going to workout unless I really committed to pursuing her. Timing wasn’t right. So I just gotta accept and move on. Have another date tomorrow, just going to keep positive.

Did she change her mind about kids or something?

Good question, and I see your point.

No she didn’t as far as I know. She told me that in July when we were hanging out that night. She seemed somewhat unsure though. So when I thought about reconnecting I was gonna ask her again to get more clarity. It was the main reason I hadn’t reached out for a while. I’m sure I should just let it go.

how do you guys get asian girls?

usually a trap set with some dog or cat meat works

So for the first time ever asked a girl out at the gym. It had been going well for past 2 months and then all the sudden got super quiet. Asked her why she was acting cold and she said had a lot on her mind. and didn't mean to be that way. (was that time of the month or maybe she is preggo idk). Anyways she has been out of town for last 6 days and may see her at the gym tomorrow and idk wtf to do or say. She is seemed very very into me until randomly got cold. Don't think it's another guy or anything cause she is a total homebody (with a tight body) and doesn't even seem to have many friends.

they all have many dudes in rotation bro. ignore her ded fkn srs

It's only been 2 months so it could be something unrelated to you that she doesn't feel comfortable sharing yet.

Or she could be doubting things and needing some time and space to think it over. Either way she needs to know you are secure and can handle this and not be needy. Up to you if you want to send a "Hey all good if you need time and space to yourself. Let me know if there's anything on your mind you want to talk about."

That being said if you don't hear anything after a week or so you have every right to then ask her what's up as you deserve to know if she intends on continuing to progress things with you.

If there is another dude in the picture, hopefully she's not being shady by trying to hide it and test the waters accordingly. If that's the case it will probably become evident at some point or another.

There's also probably some mind games and chit you could try to play with her but IMO that's immature and exhausting and I would try to handle it like I described above.

Date summary from Tuesday:

Second time matching with this girl. Cute blonde, 6 years younger, solid job, fit. But prob too liberal for me. Says she’s looking for Ltr on her profile, but I don’t think so really after talking.

We had drinks, fun chat, but all stuff on the surface and she seems superficial. She came off as the type who has a ton of guy “friends” and goes out a ton. Red flags for me and turn offs.

Other than that we vibed pretty well during the date. It kind of went on too long though at the end which was my bad for not handling the check quicker . And we had an awkward goodbye and I believe I was kind of oblivious. She lived nearby and I had to go drive the other direction. She said she’d “walk me to my car” but it was in the other direction so I said it’s cool. (I did also offer to walk her home or drive her but she said no it’s ok she’ll walk it’s close etc) But looking back I think she wanted us to go make out and to get away from people. We hugged and said goodbye and she mentioned we should see each other again. But I have a feeling she walked away frustrated that we didn’t go make out or something (this is totally a gut feel guess by me) keep in mind she was flirty and showing signs of interest/attraction during the date.

I texted her to say it was fun and to see if she got back. We exchanged one text I said goodnight and she didn’t reply.

The mood changed so quickly at the end I thought I must have missed her sign, like maybe she wanted some action and is looking for casual. Anyways I texted her today and invited her to do something this Sunday against my better judgment because I wanted to see her reply, and she said sorry she thinks she’s too beat down by work and isn’t ready for a relationship rt now (code for I’m not wanting to see you again). I said no worries take care. I was actually relieved somewhat since the only reason I wanted to hangout was to redeem myself and at least kiss her. Total ego thing.. We’re definitely not right for each other though.

On to the next. Preferably I can get more serious and find a more relationship oriented girl with similar values. They are just so tough to find on apps. Gotta expand my reach. Thinking of moving since my spot is too isolated (from dates and also friends) and I’m still driving too far to go meet the majority of my dates.

Who knows man. That sucks but best thing to do is stay busy and do your thing, and as someone mentioned don’t act needy it will push her further away. If she still likes you she’ll come back when you pull away. And if she doesn’t then she has something else going on anyway, or isn’t into it anymore, has extra life stress, or any number of things. Either way that’s not on you to fix, if she keeps pulling away longer it may just not be meant to happen with her. Good luck brah.

I know the type, huge turn off for me too. I know we're similar.

And ye, the miss on her offering to walk to your car is a bit autistic. lol

Totally.
It happened fast and once I realized it I was pissed at myself, still feel like an idiot thinking on it lol. I gotta be more attentive to cues. Basically it shifted the date from good to bad. But in the big picture I’m kind of glad I won’t see her again since I know she’s not right for me.

Good you can reflect but not lose sleep over it because you felt you were not all that compatible.

I believe that when you do find someone who you are compatible with, the minor details you point out that you can improve upon will be insignificant and you won't have to worry about the "game" part of dating nearly as much.

^^that's assuming you are a good person who has their chit together and is ready to communicate and potentially date with intent.

Thanks brah. Yea I’m not losing sleep over it. It definitely still stings because it made me feel dumb and killed the attraction, and I would have liked to have some action with her, but I know she wasn’t right for me long term. It does suck though because the date was going really well for the first 85%, we were laughing and vibing and I’m really improving at this, getting back to what I know I can be, more confident and care free on dates..that said- Easily one of the silly mistakes I ever made on a date, I just have to sit back and laugh for real!
I’ve been working on letting go when things bother me and this small date miscue is an opportunity to practice..just noticing what happened, not resisting it but accepting it and letting it pass through, staying open through the process. And learning from it, of course. I’ve had things build up (bigger things) over the years that I’ve resisted which has led to some inner turmoil and not being comfortable/happy, but I’m working hard at this.practicing on the small stuff.
I agree with you about compatibility, when it’s real and you have real potential, small problems are overlooked or just fall by the wayside. They work themselves out when two people are willing. I wouldn’t say I’ve fully had my sh!t together recently, had a bit of a breakdown this year, then panic attacks and regression. I let it affect work too. But I’m working very hard and getting on track. I know there’s a bright future ahead, especially with strategies of truly letting go and being in the moment,and also taking needed actions. I’m glad you guys are still here this is a helpful thread, cheers.

Sounds like you're very self-aware and have a positive/growth mindset so a lot of things going in your favor. I absolutely relate to parts of your struggles too.

But yes, when you're compatible and on the same page about being open to something longterm, something like not taking a cue to go somewhere where you could makeout wouldn't be a problem because you both would've felt strongly enough about a second date that a missed opportunity for a bit of escalation would not have mattered (even though of course it's good to "practice" and realize these things to improve the chances of everyhting going as smooth as possible in the future).

You probably know this already but finding the right person takes time. It could be days, weeks, months, or years. Frustration usually occurs when you want something right now but cannot get it. Why do you want to get into another relationship when you just got out of one? Have faith and lots of patience.Your person will come when least expected.
On another note, if you truly want to be left alone, you need to make sacrifices such as not going to places where the majority of people are men especially the pool places. Lol. You cannot expect men to stop trying to pick you up since you are an attractive woman. You just have to avoid them.
Agree. +1
If she gets turned off because you did not make out with her, then she is stupid. Sorry but that is very petty. I don't think you need to change. You young people (meaning her) have really short attention span. LOL.

I have a blank profile on FB dating and the roster look much better if they are not fake of course

ANyone feel like the juice just isn't worth the squeeze these days? I use to match with way more hotties and my close rate was way higher. Something changed and it's just too much effort to get even a medocre looking sloot with 0 game.

Women are really lame these days.

Appreciate your take! Yeah I realized that she was just looking for fun, could have read it a lot better. I’ve been trying to date intentionally and my profile is upfront that I’m looking for a life partner, something real etc. With that said I was still interested in escalating with her and indulging in something physical.

If anything, this was a reminder to read the situation and not get lazy with ignoring cues, and to just be flexible. Also to remain steady and confident- here’s something I noticed: after the whole date going well with flirting, fun chat, etc.. when I waited too long for the check I let it fluster me because suddenly I said in my head “oh she wants to leav” and I was thinking she wants to end this- that was the un-confident part of my brain kicking in.. then that led to me rushing and not paying attention when she strongly hinted at being alone.

Anyways that’s my takeaway and learning notes from this, to stay engaged and attentive to cues and read the room better..I think nerves and falling in to a trap of trying to not make mistakes is a small factor too, something to be better at. You’re definitely right she has a short attention span. Is looking for superficial. Has lots of “guy friends”. Too liberal for me politically (we didn’t talk about that but I could pick up on it easily). So all in all, would be a bad choice to actually date anyway. But honestly I’m glad I met her it was a good wake up call for me to get better.

Damn when I see my competition IDK why dating is still so hard

The average man is pathetic... Yet I still can't win.

getting a girlfriend is some serious work. I don't know how you guys do it. I get ghosted by 95% of women and most of them aren't even that cute. JEsus.

Man I just want a girl who lets me cum in her a few times a week. Why is that so much to ask?

Try Doublelist

I randomly got a gf and all I can say is literally everything I was told about women was wrong. It is almost 100% based on emotional connection and "spark". Your flaws will become meaningless if she feels it. She will actively ignore all red flags and just go with it and throw herself at you even when you are objectively a trash pick.

Based on my anecdotal and limited evidence, dating success is based on psychological responses and chemical factors leading to emotional bonds. Physical attractiveness, wealth, etc help, but don't really make the difference. Ultimately, very little of any of this is actually in your control. We are just biological machines. It's purely a numbers game. But this should shock no one since this is how business success and so many other things in life work. Literally everything just boils down to math so this shouldn't shock people at all.

Saw some cute ABGs at the gym but don't know how to strike up a conversation. It's kinda loud and I'm softspoken and they all got big headphones in.

girl sent me an opener "I can tell by the size of your forehead, I'll always be on your mind."

BLocked her. Reaelly hurt by **** like this. hate women

That's a joke. You should have kept going. My gf made fun of my hairline then went crazy for me. It's a chit test. If she's giving you attention, you still have an in.