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My 34 year old cousin still lives at home with his parents
12-03-2023, 11:07 AM
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#1
- Islandboyo
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My 34 year old cousin still lives at home with his parents
He has literally lived in the same exact bedroom his whole life, but now he has a wife and 2 kids. He younger brother also still lives in his parents home, but he has a bigger bedroom in the basement.
Now they live in New York where housing is a bit tough, but they both make decent money and could afford to move out on their own if they wanted, but choose to stay home.
Is this the smart play for people in 2023/2024? Or are my cousins just a bunch of man-children who refuse to leave the nest?
I couldn't imagine living in a tiny bedroom as a 34 year old man with a wife and kids, but I do see some of the benefits. He could save a chitload of money and is able to grow his kids with the help of their grandparents. His wife came from overseas, and I think that's why she puts up with it. No American woman would put up with having to live in a tiny bedroom in your parents house. Lots of tension sometimes between them all due to the space.
Now they live in New York where housing is a bit tough, but they both make decent money and could afford to move out on their own if they wanted, but choose to stay home.
Is this the smart play for people in 2023/2024? Or are my cousins just a bunch of man-children who refuse to leave the nest?
I couldn't imagine living in a tiny bedroom as a 34 year old man with a wife and kids, but I do see some of the benefits. He could save a chitload of money and is able to grow his kids with the help of their grandparents. His wife came from overseas, and I think that's why she puts up with it. No American woman would put up with having to live in a tiny bedroom in your parents house. Lots of tension sometimes between them all due to the space.
12-03-2023, 11:11 AM
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#2
- Redfish225
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Weird af.
I loe e.
12-03-2023, 11:13 AM
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#3
- BigGuyTruth
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This is gonna become the new normal
12-03-2023, 11:13 AM
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#4
12-03-2023, 11:14 AM
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#5
- WishIWasJawBrah
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Maybe he's just saving up
12-03-2023, 11:14 AM
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#6
12-03-2023, 11:18 AM
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#7
- Wh1teDyn0mite
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All down to personal preference and the way they go about it. If he didn't have a job and was mooching of the parents whilst playing video games all day, yes i can see this being a bad move for him in terms of social interactions and ambition. However even then he could be providing the parents comfort, so who knows.
Most likely trying to save cash/whilst allowing for kids and grandparents to interact. Outside of western culture (US/UK) it is very common for families to live together.
Most likely trying to save cash/whilst allowing for kids and grandparents to interact. Outside of western culture (US/UK) it is very common for families to live together.
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12-03-2023, 11:34 AM
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#8
- DeadlyStriker
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Usually I'd say it is weird, but not anymore. Especially since they are in NY.
We are at a tipping point here where we are basically at a silent economic depression given asset prices, inflation, debt, and income levels. The entire economic outlook will be completely different in a decade to a point where society will function way different.
I think the younger generations realize that the jig is up. The boomer consumerist and "AT YOUR AGE I HAD 2 HOUSES and 4 KIDS ON A SINGLE INCOME! YOU GUYS JUST DON'T WANT TO WORK!" idea is just retarded. Debt now is slavery. We're at the end of a pyramid scheme so not getting a major mortgage and going deep into debt just to live a normal life during these times makes way more sense.
Sounds more like they are saving money, staying close with family for now, and waiting for a time where they can make a smart decision financially that won't have a long lasting financial burden on them.
We are at a tipping point here where we are basically at a silent economic depression given asset prices, inflation, debt, and income levels. The entire economic outlook will be completely different in a decade to a point where society will function way different.
I think the younger generations realize that the jig is up. The boomer consumerist and "AT YOUR AGE I HAD 2 HOUSES and 4 KIDS ON A SINGLE INCOME! YOU GUYS JUST DON'T WANT TO WORK!" idea is just retarded. Debt now is slavery. We're at the end of a pyramid scheme so not getting a major mortgage and going deep into debt just to live a normal life during these times makes way more sense.
Sounds more like they are saving money, staying close with family for now, and waiting for a time where they can make a smart decision financially that won't have a long lasting financial burden on them.
12-03-2023, 11:44 AM
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#9
- JackyChin
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Smart move, I'd do it if I didn't have to move around for work.
He's probably saving $3k+/month straight into investments.
Americans feel this weird need to live on their own. IMO it's just another type of unnecessary consumerism.
A multigenerational household all supporting and learning from each other is actually far stronger because they can use economies of scale for things like cooking, fundraising, and laundry.
Also you get to spend time with your parents and learn from them; they won't be around forever.
He's probably saving $3k+/month straight into investments.
Americans feel this weird need to live on their own. IMO it's just another type of unnecessary consumerism.
A multigenerational household all supporting and learning from each other is actually far stronger because they can use economies of scale for things like cooking, fundraising, and laundry.
Also you get to spend time with your parents and learn from them; they won't be around forever.
12-03-2023, 11:46 AM
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#10
- Immichaelski
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We are all just an Injury or robbery away from being homeless. I don’t judge anyone
12-03-2023, 11:49 AM
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#11
- Kawhilights
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Originally Posted By DeadlyStriker⏩
This. It is harder to buy a house today than it was during the Great Depression. The gap between average income and average home price is greater now than it was during that time.Usually I'd say it is weird, but not anymore. Especially since they are in NY.
We are at a tipping point here where we are basically at a silent economic depression given asset prices, inflation, debt, and income levels. The entire economic outlook will be completely different in a decade to a point where society will function way different.
I think the younger generations realize that the jig is up. The boomer consumerist and "AT YOUR AGE I HAD 2 HOUSES and 4 KIDS ON A SINGLE INCOME! YOU GUYS JUST DON'T WANT TO WORK!" idea is just retarded. Debt now is slavery. We're at the end of a pyramid scheme so not getting a major mortgage and going deep into debt just to live a normal life during these times makes way more sense.
Sounds more like they are saving money, staying close with family for now, and waiting for a time where they can make a smart decision financially that won't have a long lasting financial burden on them.
We are at a tipping point here where we are basically at a silent economic depression given asset prices, inflation, debt, and income levels. The entire economic outlook will be completely different in a decade to a point where society will function way different.
I think the younger generations realize that the jig is up. The boomer consumerist and "AT YOUR AGE I HAD 2 HOUSES and 4 KIDS ON A SINGLE INCOME! YOU GUYS JUST DON'T WANT TO WORK!" idea is just retarded. Debt now is slavery. We're at the end of a pyramid scheme so not getting a major mortgage and going deep into debt just to live a normal life during these times makes way more sense.
Sounds more like they are saving money, staying close with family for now, and waiting for a time where they can make a smart decision financially that won't have a long lasting financial burden on them.
It wouldn’t surprise me if in our life time we see the handful who control most of the money be brought to mob justice similar to what the French did when their wealth inequality went over the tipping point.
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12-03-2023, 11:52 AM
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#12
- Redfish225
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Originally Posted By JackyChin⏩
I can understand saving before you make the leap but 34 with kids? Seems like they’re lazy and dgaf.Smart move, I'd do it if I didn't have to move around for work.
He's probably saving $3k+/month straight into investments.
Americans feel this weird need to live on their own. IMO it's just another type of unnecessary consumerism.
A multigenerational household all supporting and learning from each other is actually far stronger because they can use economies of scale for things like cooking, fundraising, and laundry.
Also you get to spend time with your parents and learn from them; they won't be around forever.
He's probably saving $3k+/month straight into investments.
Americans feel this weird need to live on their own. IMO it's just another type of unnecessary consumerism.
A multigenerational household all supporting and learning from each other is actually far stronger because they can use economies of scale for things like cooking, fundraising, and laundry.
Also you get to spend time with your parents and learn from them; they won't be around forever.
I loe e.
12-03-2023, 11:54 AM
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#13
- DustinTheHuss
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This is very common in my area since it's so expensive to live here.
12-03-2023, 11:57 AM
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#14
- Islandboyo
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Originally Posted By Wh1teDyn0mite⏩
Yeah I def would not put him in the same category of a wincel type just living in dad's basement. Has a good job and made his own family, but idk I feel like at some point your quality of life has to be more important than saving money.All down to personal preference and the way they go about it. If he didn't have a job and was mooching of the parents whilst playing video games all day, yes i can see this being a bad move for him in terms of social interactions and ambition. However even then he could be providing the parents comfort, so who knows.
Most likely trying to save cash/whilst allowing for kids and grandparents to interact. Outside of western culture (US/UK) it is very common for families to live together.
Most likely trying to save cash/whilst allowing for kids and grandparents to interact. Outside of western culture (US/UK) it is very common for families to live together.
His bedroom is small for a single adult, but he has a wife and two kids living it in. I've been pretty independent most of my life due to coming from a broken home so I see things a bit differently. Can't be healthy for your relationship to live with mom, dad, and brother while raising two kids. I feel like everyone gets to the point where they want to live on their own terms, and you just can't do that in your parents house.
I suspect my cousins wife doesn't like it at all, but is holding out for when they move out (if they move out). My other cousin (31) who lives in the basement had a live in GF who he shares a child with, but she took the kid and bounced a while back. I'm willing to bet it had alot to do with sharing a home with not only mom and dad, but also brother in law, his wife and two kids.
12-03-2023, 12:00 PM
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#15
- Dave22reborn
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What a shocker, Miscers making excuses for a 34 year old "man" still living with mommy, with a wife and kids???
Then you guys talk about trying to find a traditional woman???
Then you guys talk about trying to find a traditional woman???
12-03-2023, 12:03 PM
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#16
- BeigeJumang
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He's just smart. I'm gonna do the same. When your options are living in squalor versus dealing with a social stigma of living with your parents, it's an easy choice. The cost of living crisis is a generational issue. People are still mentally attached to a lifestyle that is no longer achievable for the average income earner. Lifestyles like your friends will become the norm just to get by. Blame parasitic central banks and treasonous policymakers.
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12-03-2023, 12:15 PM
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#17
- Dave22reborn
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Originally Posted By BeigeJumang⏩
Soon it will be the norm for 40 year Olds to still be living with mommy, and you Miscers will be making excuses for them as well.......He's just smart. I'm gonna do the same. When your options are living in squalor versus dealing with a social stigma of living with your parents, it's an easy choice. The cost of living crisis is a generational issue. People are still mentally attached to a lifestyle that is no longer achievable for the average income earner. Lifestyles like your friends will become the norm just to get by. Blame parasitic central banks and treasonous policymakers.
12-03-2023, 12:17 PM
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#18
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Originally Posted By Dave22reborn⏩
I'm assuming you already own your home, or you live in a low COL area. For people who were born without that fortune, it's quite literally over for them. Have some compassion. A bachelor condo (400 sq ft) costs 600k @ 6% interest where I live right now (Trudeau Land).Soon it will be the norm for 40 year Olds to still be living with mommy, and you Miscers will be making excuses for them as well.......
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12-03-2023, 12:18 PM
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#19
- AdvancedDreamer
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Originally Posted By Dave22reborn⏩
What’s the alternative? From what OP is saying, his cousin shouldn’t be living at home. But for someone who’s working a dead end job with a rent of $2000+ (norm in NYC), what do you suggest they do? inb4 get a better job.Soon it will be the norm for 40 year Olds to still be living with mommy, and you Miscers will be making excuses for them as well.......
12-03-2023, 12:21 PM
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#20
- Islandboyo
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Originally Posted By AdvancedDreamer⏩
There is literally no option.What’s the alternative? From what OP is saying, his cousin shouldn’t be living at home. But for someone who’s working a dead end job with a rent of $2000+ (norm in NYC), what do you suggest they do? inb4 get a better job.
Even worse, is the kids who go to NYC chasing the dream and end up stuck having to live with roommates just to get by. There are hundreds of thousands of people in NYC who live with roommates in order to survive, and many of them are over 30+, even over 50. They aren't ever going to be able to afford living on their own.
I could not imagine having to share my space with some stranger. Then we wonder why people have mental issues living in such cramped conditions
12-03-2023, 12:21 PM
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#21
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One of my friends kids married a Chinese sloot when he was working in China . They move back to Canada and live in a house with her parents.
Can’t imagine banging my wife and my mother and father in law are on the other side of the wall .
I guess living and taking care of the parents is part of their culture . No thx Geoff
Can’t imagine banging my wife and my mother and father in law are on the other side of the wall .
I guess living and taking care of the parents is part of their culture . No thx Geoff
Back with my Fam
12-03-2023, 12:35 PM
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#22
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Originally Posted By MajorTendonitis⏩
Ideal situation would be living in the same community as family but not same house, unless ofcourse you have a massive houseOne of my friends kids married a Chinese sloot when he was working in China . They move back to Canada and live in a house with her parents.
Can’t imagine banging my wife and my mother and father in law are on the other side of the wall .
I guess living and taking care of the parents is part of their culture . No thx Geoff
Can’t imagine banging my wife and my mother and father in law are on the other side of the wall .
I guess living and taking care of the parents is part of their culture . No thx Geoff
12-03-2023, 12:36 PM
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#23
- Jadedfadedisbae
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I do the same thing. 29 year old single male here. I hate every moment of it but its not in our culture to move out and my parents are sick and elderly. On the other hand, we live in a house big enough for all of us. I don't forsee this same situation if I get married because it sounds bad to say, but one of my parents will not be around by the time that happens and the other can live with their sister.
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12-03-2023, 12:42 PM
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#24
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I thought that was pretty much standard for the East Coast, mainly New York and New Jersey, other New England states. Common for people to live with their parents at least until they get married and have kids, then they move out. Now that things have sufficiently gone to **** I can understand if they want to wait things out especially with the economy being really shaky at the moment, as well.
by the way you didn't say if he was paying his way for anything. I mean if he was paying and his share of all the expenses it's more understandable. Saying "he still lives at home with his parents" makes people assume he's just freeloading completely
by the way you didn't say if he was paying his way for anything. I mean if he was paying and his share of all the expenses it's more understandable. Saying "he still lives at home with his parents" makes people assume he's just freeloading completely
12-03-2023, 12:43 PM
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#25
- Dave22reborn
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Originally Posted By AdvancedDreamer⏩
He's 34 years old, if he can't provide for himself, then maybe he shouldn't have gotten married, and had two kids...... And I'm shocked that she would marry such a guy, she must be a real catch.....What’s the alternative? From what OP is saying, his cousin shouldn’t be living at home. But for someone who’s working a dead end job with a rent of $2000+ (norm in NYC), what do you suggest they do? inb4 get a better job.
12-03-2023, 12:45 PM
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#26
- Dave22reborn
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Originally Posted By Jadedfadedisbae⏩
Nothing gets a woman more excited than, "Hey, you wanna come back to my place, we have to be quiet though, because my mom is mom's sleeping......"I do the same thing. 29 year old single male here. I hate every moment of it but its not in our culture to move out and my parents are sick and elderly. On the other hand, we live in a house big enough for all of us. I don't forsee this same situation if I get married because it sounds bad to say, but one of my parents will not be around by the time that happens and the other can live with their sister.
12-03-2023, 12:45 PM
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#27
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I bump heads with my pops too much to stay in the house for that long
Let alone how can I go through my degen faze while living with my parents and technically they can say "my house, my rules" to you when you're an adult lol
Let alone how can I go through my degen faze while living with my parents and technically they can say "my house, my rules" to you when you're an adult lol
12-03-2023, 12:46 PM
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#28
My uncle became an alcoholic, got arrested multiple times, multiple ER visits, lost his wife and kids, gave wife all of his money and assets, got fired, hasn't had any income outside of SS (and one surprise inheritance that's like $30k or so). He has since lived with my family occupying a bedroom, paying a tiny bit per month to help out though, for about 3 years now. The intent was he'd get his license back, and get a job, get an income, move out. But he's remaining complacent and watching his favorite shows/movies instead. Basically treating it like an early retirement.
My older sibling occupies another bedroom in the family house and is fairly significantly mentally disabled, doesn't drive, never had a job, and likely will never do those things. But does get some disability SSI that my family collects.
Venting at this point I guess. But my point is, everyone's living with their family for different reasons.
I was VERY tempted to do so a few years back, just to rack up an extra $30k+/yr to get my own house/condo eventually. But that ship has sailed since my family has all their rooms occupied now.
My older sibling occupies another bedroom in the family house and is fairly significantly mentally disabled, doesn't drive, never had a job, and likely will never do those things. But does get some disability SSI that my family collects.
Venting at this point I guess. But my point is, everyone's living with their family for different reasons.
I was VERY tempted to do so a few years back, just to rack up an extra $30k+/yr to get my own house/condo eventually. But that ship has sailed since my family has all their rooms occupied now.
12-03-2023, 12:50 PM
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#29
- TugOfPeace
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I did it at 34, and 32. During peak covid times in 2021 I figured better to be with my parents than a 16 hour drive away from them in case chit really hits the fan. Lived with them for a year, then moved out. After a year moved back in with them for 6 months then moved to NYC.
In hindsight it was a good financial move but not a good one for my psyche.
Wouldn't do it again.
In hindsight it was a good financial move but not a good one for my psyche.
Wouldn't do it again.
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12-03-2023, 12:50 PM
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#30
- MisterJustice
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what exactly is the issue here? the guy has a job, even has a wife, so its not like hes a basement dwelling incel who plays world of warcraft all day sipping on mountain dew
expect to see this more and more, current young generation is fukked
expect to see this more and more, current young generation is fukked
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