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Forum » Resentment Towards Parents...How do you Cope?
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Thread: Resentment Towards Parents...How do you Cope?

post 1694599463 12-08-2023, 11:32 PM
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Resentment Towards Parents...How do you Cope?

I still see them both, but it's hard to deal with it. Sometimes I just want to cut them off completely. They always fought in front of me too, and they were impoverished despite being educated.
post 1694599533 12-08-2023, 11:39 PM
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Originally Posted By Rebel012⏩
I still see them both, but it's hard to deal with it. Sometimes I just want to cut them off completely. They always fought in front of me too, and they were impoverished despite being educated.
Bro youre literally 40. You should have good relationship with your parents. Youre lucky they are still alive.
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post 1694599553 12-08-2023, 11:40 PM
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Idk bruh. I’m in the same predicament with my mom and step dad. Step dad absolutely hates me and I’m not a fan of him. He was atheist my whole life. My mom is Christian and I love her dearly. Just pray for them. I will talk to my mom forever but I won’t lie and say I didn’t wish my step dad would leave. But at the end of the day put it in Gods hands. See sig. praise Jesus
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post 1694599563 12-08-2023, 11:40 PM
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I don't resent my parents. They did what they could. My father did damn well for someone who grew up homeless with no parents and a 4th grade education. My mother's extreme Catholicism is annoying, but it's a minor inconvenience at most.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1694599593 12-08-2023, 11:42 PM
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Originally Posted By bhicks3712⏩
Idk bruh. I’m in the same predicament with my mom and step dad. Step dad absolutely hates me and I’m not a fan of him. He was atheist my whole life. My mom is Christian and I love her dearly. Just pray for them. I will talk to my mom forever but I won’t lie and say I didn’t wish my step dad would leave. But at the end of the day put it in Gods hands. See sig. praise Jesus
Your step dad isn't there to make you happy. If he makes your mom happy, that's all that matters. Wishing her would leave just makes you a selfish ass hole. And what does it matter if he's atheist? What does that have to do with you?
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1694599653 12-08-2023, 11:44 PM
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Originally Posted By Godfrd824⏩
I don't resent my parents. They did what they could. My father did damn well for someone who grew up homeless with no parents and a 4th grade education. My mother's extreme Catholicism is annoying, but it's a minor inconvenience at most.
You shouldn't resent them for being poor, I should have clarified, not what I'm talking about. More so the fighting. Maybe I should just get over it though.
post 1694599783 12-08-2023, 11:49 PM
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Originally Posted By Rebel012⏩
You shouldn't resent them for being poor, I should have clarified, not what I'm talking about. More so the fighting. Maybe I should just get over it though.
People are not the same. People will fight. It's normal. Now it's not normal to slap the shyt out of each other, but there will be disagreements. My parents had a lot of disagreements, and they still do. They've been married for 36 years, and I can't recall a time when they yelled at each other or called each other names.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1694599853 12-08-2023, 11:53 PM
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Originally Posted By Godfrd824⏩
They've been married for 36 years, and I can't recall a time when they yelled at each other or called each other names.
Well I can recall that brah, and I guess that's my issue.
post 1694599863 12-08-2023, 11:53 PM
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the worst kinds of people are those with low self esteem who act arrogant and full of confidence because you can't hurt them knowing their entire aggressiveness is a fraud. that's my dad.

I pity him, can't really do anything to help.
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post 1694599993 12-08-2023, 11:56 PM
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Originally Posted By TugOfPeace⏩
the worst kinds of people are those with low self esteem who act arrogant and full of confidence because you can't hurt them knowing their entire aggressiveness is a fraud. that's my dad.

I pity him, can't really do anything to help.
How do you know that he just doesn't give a fuk?
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1694600023 12-08-2023, 11:57 PM
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become a parent yourself. kids think they know everything about parenting but know very little
post 1694600063 12-08-2023, 11:58 PM
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Originally Posted By Rebel012⏩
Well I can recall that brah, and I guess that's my issue.
And what have you gotten out of that? Your parents are human just like everyone else. And more likely than not, they had no idea what they were doing and were just winging it like everyone else.

Let it go, and build a good relationship with them, if you don't, you'll regret it when they're gone.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1694600203 12-09-2023, 12:02 AM
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Originally Posted By Godfrd824⏩
Your step dad isn't there to make you happy. If he makes your mom happy, that's all that matters. Wishing her would leave just makes you a selfish ass hole. And what does it matter if he's atheist? What does that have to do with you?
What are you lol. You brag to much. Anyway it effects everything when your a child and someone in your household is telling you your faith is for nothing. She also wishes she didn’t marry him but is glad he works 60 hours a week if not more to pay for things. So ya he’s a good work horse. But other than that he doesn’t have any family that cares much about him. His own daughter. So he has resentment and anger built in him that makes him no fun to be around. And that was me and my sisters and my mom’s words. So who you marry matters.
Jesus gang ✝️
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post 1694600233 12-09-2023, 12:02 AM
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Originally Posted By Godfrd824⏩
And what have you gotten out of that? Your parents are human just like everyone else. And more likely than not, they had no idea what they were doing and were just winging it like everyone else.

Let it go, and build a good relationship with them, if you don't, you'll regret it when they're gone.
Yeah, makes logical sense. Thanks.
post 1694600563 12-09-2023, 12:09 AM
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Originally Posted By theory816⏩
Bro youre literally 40. You should have good relationship with your parents. Youre lucky they are still alive.
This. You should be well past the whole hating your parents thing before your 30's. Unless they were really that bad, which it doesn't sound at all like they were.
post 1694600643 12-09-2023, 12:10 AM
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I hit a point in life where I forgave them.

My Dad was very emotionally abusive but changed later in life.
post 1694600733 12-09-2023, 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted By GarfieldTheCat⏩
This. You should be well past the whole hating your parents thing before your 30's. Unless they were really that bad, which it doesn't sound at all like they were.
I dunno, define "that bad?" You're probably right though.
post 1694601143 12-09-2023, 12:22 AM
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Originally Posted By Godfrd824⏩
And what have you gotten out of that? Your parents are human just like everyone else. And more likely than not, they had no idea what they were doing and were just winging it like everyone else.

Let it go, and build a good relationship with them, if you don't, you'll regret it when they're gone.
this is really good advice OP
post 1694601163 12-09-2023, 12:22 AM
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I have a strained relationship with my parents too. I love them but I don't really like being around my dad. I live 1500 miles from them so I only see them once a year. He has zero filter and says some stupid stuff.

I like my mom but I feel like she resents me because she has me at 17 and missed out on all of her "fun years". She's never said it, but I've felt it and other people have said it too.
post 1694601623 12-09-2023, 12:53 AM
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Well without them, you wouldn't be here.
RIP Pedro Suarez Vertiz. Te queremos Hermano

If your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas, can I come and visit you between the holidays?
post 1694601673 12-09-2023, 12:55 AM
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Originally Posted By Fang2⏩
Well without them, you wouldn't be here.
True...but trivially true
post 1694601743 12-09-2023, 12:59 AM
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"They always fought in front of me too"

This is ur reason? Grow tf up
post 1694601813 12-09-2023, 01:03 AM
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Originally Posted By TightHamstringz⏩
"They always fought in front of me too"

This is ur reason? Grow tf up
Bad fights though bud, not garden variety. Maybe you're right though.
post 1694601893 12-09-2023, 01:09 AM
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My old man is 49 years my senior. Smart man. PhD in physics. Lost his job through no fault of his own when I was 10 and didn't recover. Fell into a deep depression. Felt like he did nothing to help himself and just got worse. Has stayed in the same house doing absolutely nothing, slowly losing friends and family, losing his mental faculties. Very hard to watch. I'm the only person that really tries to keep in touch and cares about him but it's still a very strained relationship. He does what he can, but it always feels like he can always do more, right? At the same time, why I can't I do more to help him?

Watched my mum work a hard job doing child safety work. Watched her go through PTSD and alcoholism. Lots of very hard years, lots of resentment towards her at times, but she worked on herself and now she's honestly my ****ing best friend in the world. Talk to her every day.

It's a weird world. We're all human. We all do the best we can. Sometimes we understand, sometimes we don't. Your parents are humans too and have their own **** to deal with and their own faults man
post 1694602073 12-09-2023, 01:24 AM
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Its odd for me. They never really did anything wrong and always provided, but didn't feel supportive at the same time.

I entered in this competition of sorts and wasn't selected, and instead of support, consoling or constructive criticism, my mom said something along the lines of "haha, don't you feel like a failure".

I don't see them that often and prefer it that way.

Would still support them if I could or they needed it though.
post 1694602263 12-09-2023, 01:55 AM
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My dad doesn't wash his clothes and purposefully burps all the time. I think he is trying to repulse and repel people. I'm not sure why but it is fuked
post 1694602773 12-09-2023, 02:25 AM
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Do your parents know you're gay?
Not in the AM
post 1694603773 12-09-2023, 03:25 AM
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Originally Posted By Rebel012⏩
Bad fights though bud, not garden variety. Maybe you're right though.
Even if it got to the point of divorce, witnessing parents fighting is absolutely no reason to cut them off. Only reason to cut parents off is if they were abusive towards you or extremely unethical.
post 1694609083 12-09-2023, 06:54 AM
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Originally Posted By bhicks3712⏩
What are you lol. You brag to much. Anyway it effects everything when your a child and someone in your household is telling you your faith is for nothing. She also wishes she didn’t marry him but is glad he works 60 hours a week if not more to pay for things. So ya he’s a good work horse. But other than that he doesn’t have any family that cares much about him. His own daughter. So he has resentment and anger built in him that makes him no fun to be around. And that was me and my sisters and my mom’s words. So who you marry matters.
My life growing up was the opposite. Being forced to go to church and do all these Catholic rituals which I didn't care for. But at the end of the day all of that was at worst a minor inconvenience.

Regarding faith, it's supposed to be tested, him being an atheist even if he was a militant atheist wouldn't have mattered, your faith is yours and yours alone, regardless of what someone else may say.

At the end of the day he takes care of your mom, be grateful at least for that.
Originally Posted By TightHamstringz⏩
Even if it got to the point of divorce, witnessing parents fighting is absolutely no reason to cut them off. Only reason to cut parents off is if they were abusive towards you or extremely unethical.
Physically abusive at that. Words don't hurt.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1694611133 12-09-2023, 07:50 AM
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I always kinda resented my parents for giving me incel genes but they kind of make up for it by paying my college tuition, paying for my car, paying for my gas, paying for my bills, etc

I mean rich white trust fund kids have parents who do all thatandgive them good genes, so i still have it rough. but at least financially i'm not struggling

although I'd much rather be financially struggling and not be an incel than the other way around.
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