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Is anyone single and not actively pursuing women? (Advice srs)
07-22-2024, 09:27 AM
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#1
- Legendsneverdie
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Is anyone single and not actively pursuing women? (Advice srs)
I just had a falling out with some chick I was dating on and off for six months. It was mostly on but had periods of off. I m pretty sure it’s over now. I m really tired of chasing after women. I don’t want to go back to it. I do it cause I get lonely. I do pretty good in the dating scene. I don’t get any chick that I want but I eventually get a cute one. I just don’t want to go back to it. It’s such a chit show. I don’t have any friends and I work from home. I am very isolated and it’s not good. I tried to make a few friends with some dudes but it didn’t work out. I talk to my sisters on the phone daily. I have a buddy but he’s basically married and lives 1000 miles away. What are my options here ? Should I learn to be isolated and be alone ? I can’t do it, it’s hard and feels like suffer. Maybe I should isolate and stay off dating apps for the next month ? Any advice. I m a fairly attractive, 6 foot tall, lean at 206 lbs, make six figures , masters degree, chit social skills, boring introvert, full head of hair , akward.
IF YOU DONT SQUAT, YOU AINT SQUAT
07-22-2024, 09:29 AM
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#2
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Yeah can't be bothered anymore. There's always another guy or ex in the picture. Feels like I'm always putting more effort than they are. Over it tbh
Just gonna hobbymaxx and moneymaxx
Just gonna hobbymaxx and moneymaxx
07-22-2024, 09:31 AM
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#3
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Originally Posted By ScrillaIsBake⏩
What do you do on the weekends? It’s going to be hard af for me to face the reality of sitting there alone on my couch Fri and sat nights. How can I cope with this and be more independent and strong.Yeah can't be bothered anymore. There's always another guy or ex in the picture. Feels like I'm always putting more effort than they are. Over it tbh
Just gonna hobbymaxx and moneymaxx
Just gonna hobbymaxx and moneymaxx
IF YOU DONT SQUAT, YOU AINT SQUAT
07-22-2024, 09:34 AM
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#4
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Yeah I done this for about a year recently simply because I cba with the head melt from the kunts. Saying that my situation is fairly different from yours. I've got a kid, loads of family that live local, some close friends and I also train bjj/mt, so I'm constantly around other people. Why can't you just pick up a hobby? I'd say go pick up BJJ, loads of awkward kunts in those gyms for you to be awkward with.
07-22-2024, 09:34 AM
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#5
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I let them pursue me and decide which ones are lucky enough to get a shot
See Shakebrah's sig
07-22-2024, 09:35 AM
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#6
- legbroke
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I'm also not dating. My life is just too much of a mess right now. I meet with friends several times a week, but damn, it's been way too long since I've been with a girl. Sounds like you could indeed use a break from dating. I can't imagine not having a good group of buddies though. Like maybe at least being a regular at a casual bar?
07-22-2024, 09:36 AM
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#7
07-22-2024, 09:41 AM
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#8
- orangetide
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I run traveling events on the side. I meet a lot of women at said events.
Far too often, I find one of 3 things:
1. The girl I'm fukin has a bf/fiance/husband that they never bothered to mention (I find out well after the fact)
2. The girl has a rotation or roster. She's not yours, it's just your turn [for that day of the week]
Far too often, I find one of 3 things:
1. The girl I'm fukin has a bf/fiance/husband that they never bothered to mention (I find out well after the fact)
2. The girl has a rotation or roster. She's not yours, it's just your turn [for that day of the week]
07-22-2024, 09:44 AM
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#9
Yeah I got divorced a couple years ago and feel like I just got rid of a huge pain in the ass so why do I want to go get another one? For real though I've dated some and every single girl is immediately interested in getting serious which is not surprised given the ages of everyone involved, and I am emotionally drained from the the previous 15 year relationship. That being said, I am very active socially and have plenty of good friends, so I have outlets to not get lonely.
07-22-2024, 09:45 AM
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#10
- DolphinPilot
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Yeah dating in the modern age is pretty much ****. If you're lucky you find a keeper, but a majority of dudes you gotta out up with a lot of bull**** and there is a near certainty that it won't work long-term. For a lot of people life is a series of hookups and breakups, marriages and divorces. You can't get too attached and just ride it out to its inevitable conclusion.
I decided it's a better uae of my time and way to preserve my sanity to just focus on myself and learn to be alone. Get a bunch of hobbies, op. Find some **** that interests you and put your free time into it. It sounds like you feel like a loser if you're not out doing stuff with a group of people but as we age that **** becomes lame and just not worth the trouble.
Id suggest doing some creative, like learning an instrument or some sort of physical/visual art like painting or photography. Work on cars, play golf or go shooting or something. Plenty of things you could do alone.
I decided it's a better uae of my time and way to preserve my sanity to just focus on myself and learn to be alone. Get a bunch of hobbies, op. Find some **** that interests you and put your free time into it. It sounds like you feel like a loser if you're not out doing stuff with a group of people but as we age that **** becomes lame and just not worth the trouble.
Id suggest doing some creative, like learning an instrument or some sort of physical/visual art like painting or photography. Work on cars, play golf or go shooting or something. Plenty of things you could do alone.
Originally Posted By orangetide⏩
This has been my experience in my 30s and it gets worse as you get closer to 40. There is always some **** you gotta learn to live with. A good 70% have a dude. It's all so tiresome and you just want to find some.oeace for yourself; women will not bring you anyI run traveling events on the side. I meet a lot of women at said events.
Far too often, I find one of 3 things:
1. The girl I'm fukin has a bf/fiance/husband that they never bothered to mention (I find out well after the fact)
2. The girl has a rotation or roster. She's not yours, it's just your turn [for that day of the week]
Far too often, I find one of 3 things:
1. The girl I'm fukin has a bf/fiance/husband that they never bothered to mention (I find out well after the fact)
2. The girl has a rotation or roster. She's not yours, it's just your turn [for that day of the week]
07-22-2024, 09:45 AM
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#11
- ScrillaIsBake
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Originally Posted By Legendsneverdie⏩
Gaming, lifting, maybe going biking or playing basketball. It's lonely, but I got used to it I guessWhat do you do on the weekends? It’s going to be hard af for me to face the reality of sitting there alone on my couch Fri and sat nights. How can I cope with this and be more independent and strong.
Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩
This is how I approach things now. Problem is most women don't make effort unless you're Chad. I'm like a tier below ChadI let them pursue me and decide which ones are lucky enough to get a shot
07-22-2024, 09:47 AM
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#12
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Originally Posted By legbroke⏩
I don’t have a group of buddies at all. I do need a break from dating. What do you recommend I do when the loneliness comes crashing down on me ??I'm also not dating. My life is just too much of a mess right now. I meet with friends several times a week, but damn, it's been way too long since I've been with a girl. Sounds like you could indeed use a break from dating. I can't imagine not having a good group of buddies though. Like maybe at least being a regular at a casual bar?
Originally Posted By CellyTech⏩
I use to do bjj. I can’t say I want to get back into it per say. Maybe it’s not a bad idea though. Got injured a few times that’s one of the main reasons I stepped away from it. Yes we are very different. You have a life I don’t.Yeah I done this for about a year recently simply because I cba with the head melt from the kunts. Saying that my situation is fairly different from yours. I've got a kid, loads of family that live local, some close friends and I also train bjj/mt, so I'm constantly around other people. Why can't you just pick up a hobby? I'd say go pick up BJJ, loads of awkward kunts in those gyms for you to be awkward with.
IF YOU DONT SQUAT, YOU AINT SQUAT
07-22-2024, 09:49 AM
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#13
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
Dude, got beers Saturday afternoon with a group of 3 guys (including me) and 2 girls.Yeah dating in the modern age is pretty much ****. If you're lucky you find a keeper, but a majority of dudes you gotta out up with a lot of bull**** and there is a near certainty that it won't work long-term. For a lot of people life is a series of hookups and breakups, marriages and divorces. You can't get too attached and just ride it out to its inevitable conclusion.
I decided it's a better uae of my time and way to preserve my sanity to just focus on myself and learn to be alone. Get a bunch of hobbies, op. Find some **** that interests you and put your free time into it. It sounds like you feel like a loser if you're not out doing stuff with a group of people but as we age that **** becomes lame and just not worth the trouble.
Id suggest doing some creative, like learning an instrument or some sort of physical/visual art like painting or photography. Work on cars, play golf or go shooting or something. Plenty of things you could do alone.
I decided it's a better uae of my time and way to preserve my sanity to just focus on myself and learn to be alone. Get a bunch of hobbies, op. Find some **** that interests you and put your free time into it. It sounds like you feel like a loser if you're not out doing stuff with a group of people but as we age that **** becomes lame and just not worth the trouble.
Id suggest doing some creative, like learning an instrument or some sort of physical/visual art like painting or photography. Work on cars, play golf or go shooting or something. Plenty of things you could do alone.
I am divorced.
1 guy is separated
other guy is about to get separated.
1 of the girls is divorced.
other girl is separated as of 2 weeks ago.
5/5 failed marriages lol.
07-22-2024, 09:52 AM
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#14
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Originally Posted By monster0ultra⏩
I do care about women… I want to stop pursuing them man. Tired of this chit. I m not a ****** I am Greek and Italian. I did get surgery and I don’t regret it. Fixed a huge deficit on my face. My face isn’t perfect but much better nowOP is a ****** who literally got jaw surgery and he wants us to believe he doesn't care about women? LOL.
IF YOU DONT SQUAT, YOU AINT SQUAT
07-22-2024, 09:53 AM
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#15
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
It feels like a bunch of tradeoffs.I decided it's a better uae of my time and way to preserve my sanity to just focus on myself and learn to be alone. Get a bunch of hobbies, op. Find some **** that interests you and put your free time into it. It sounds like you feel like a loser if you're not out doing stuff with a group of people but as we age that **** becomes lame and just not worth the trouble.
- you stay single, you'll experience loneliness, but less emotional ups and downs, and more freedom.
- you get married, you'll experience more stress, struggle to find free time, have to do lame social stuff etc.
The options seem pretty polarized.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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07-22-2024, 09:57 AM
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#16
- DrunkonMilk
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Instead of BJJ I would pick up boxing or Muay Thai. Go 3-4 days a week and meet some new people. Don’t actively pursue women and one will probably come your way when you least expect it. Getting off all social media and dating apps will also greatly improve your mental health.
http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=159810801
07-22-2024, 10:04 AM
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#17
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Originally Posted By Retoaded⏩
Yeah marriage is mostly not compatible with the sensibilities of people today, it seems. Largely people don't NEED to get married anymore so there isn't much compelling people to work things out no matter what. I could see myself being in a similar boat...Dude, got beers Saturday afternoon with a group of 3 guys (including me) and 2 girls.
I am divorced.
1 guy is separated
other guy is about to get separated.
1 of the girls is divorced.
other girl is separated as of 2 weeks ago.
5/5 failed marriages lol.
I am divorced.
1 guy is separated
other guy is about to get separated.
1 of the girls is divorced.
other girl is separated as of 2 weeks ago.
5/5 failed marriages lol.
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I hear that. My brother is married and has kids. I envy him in some ways but yeah other stuff he tells me I'm just thinking "there's no way in hell I could tolerate that"It feels like a bunch of tradeoffs.
- you stay single, you'll experience loneliness, but less emotional ups and downs, and more freedom.
- you get married, you'll experience more stress, struggle to find free time, have to do lame social stuff etc.
The options seem pretty polarized.
- you stay single, you'll experience loneliness, but less emotional ups and downs, and more freedom.
- you get married, you'll experience more stress, struggle to find free time, have to do lame social stuff etc.
The options seem pretty polarized.
07-22-2024, 10:19 AM
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#18
- legbroke
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Originally Posted By Legendsneverdie⏩
I'd try to be mor social in general. I certainly know that friends are no replacement for a girl, but revolving your socialization around a single woman sounds exhausting for the both of you. So yeah, get out of the house and do stuff wher you can meet some people.I don’t have a group of buddies at all. I do need a break from dating. What do you recommend I do when the loneliness comes crashing down on me ??
If you're working from home and not going out and socializing, that's solitary confinement, and that's no bueno.
07-22-2024, 10:19 AM
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#19
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Originally Posted By Retoaded⏩
that is huge that you can avoid being lonely most of the time. where did you meet your friends?Yeah I got divorced a couple years ago and feel like I just got rid of a huge pain in the ass so why do I want to go get another one? For real though I've dated some and every single girl is immediately interested in getting serious which is not surprised given the ages of everyone involved, and I am emotionally drained from the the previous 15 year relationship. That being said, I am very active socially and have plenty of good friends, so I have outlets to not get lonely.
Originally Posted By orangetide⏩
brutal.I run traveling events on the side. I meet a lot of women at said events.
Far too often, I find one of 3 things:
1. The girl I'm fukin has a bf/fiance/husband that they never bothered to mention (I find out well after the fact)
2. The girl has a rotation or roster. She's not yours, it's just your turn [for that day of the week]
Far too often, I find one of 3 things:
1. The girl I'm fukin has a bf/fiance/husband that they never bothered to mention (I find out well after the fact)
2. The girl has a rotation or roster. She's not yours, it's just your turn [for that day of the week]
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
you hit the nail on the head, i feel like a loser if i m not doing something with someone. Especially on the weekend. I d rather it be with a lady most the time too. I think i m pathetic and weak and I really want my other half. I guess this might not just be a reality.Yeah dating in the modern age is pretty much ****. If you're lucky you find a keeper, but a majority of dudes you gotta out up with a lot of bull**** and there is a near certainty that it won't work long-term. For a lot of people life is a series of hookups and breakups, marriages and divorces. You can't get too attached and just ride it out to its inevitable conclusion.
I decided it's a better uae of my time and way to preserve my sanity to just focus on myself and learn to be alone. Get a bunch of hobbies, op. Find some **** that interests you and put your free time into it. It sounds like you feel like a loser if you're not out doing stuff with a group of people but as we age that **** becomes lame and just not worth the trouble.
Id suggest doing some creative, like learning an instrument or some sort of physical/visual art like painting or photography. Work on cars, play golf or go shooting or something. Plenty of things you could do alone.
This has been my experience in my 30s and it gets worse as you get closer to 40. There is always some **** you gotta learn to live with. A good 70% have a dude. It's all so tiresome and you just want to find some.oeace for yourself; women will not bring you any
I decided it's a better uae of my time and way to preserve my sanity to just focus on myself and learn to be alone. Get a bunch of hobbies, op. Find some **** that interests you and put your free time into it. It sounds like you feel like a loser if you're not out doing stuff with a group of people but as we age that **** becomes lame and just not worth the trouble.
Id suggest doing some creative, like learning an instrument or some sort of physical/visual art like painting or photography. Work on cars, play golf or go shooting or something. Plenty of things you could do alone.
This has been my experience in my 30s and it gets worse as you get closer to 40. There is always some **** you gotta learn to live with. A good 70% have a dude. It's all so tiresome and you just want to find some.oeace for yourself; women will not bring you any
I do some stuff sometimes. Mow my lawn, work on my car, go to the gym alot, and so on. It is those moments after work, between going to the gym, on the weekends with the brutual reality of me being a loser with no life will sink in. I need to really accept that chit and learn to be comfortable with it. I i dotn think it would be healthy for me though because I work from home and have no friends. One of my sisters is close by, she works alot and we dont necessairly have anyhting in common, but maybe i should spend more time with her. There is a huge age gap between us too, which makes our common ground even less...
Originally Posted By ScrillaIsBake⏩
I do lifting and go running alot, but still, its the moments in between, especially on a saturday night. I guess i ll spend my sat and friday night in the gym, alone, and get a good workout. My gym closes at 11pm, but then i ll just suffer/be depressed/feel like a loser during the day. I really jsut want to spend those moments with my "other half", but again, this isnt a reality for me.Gaming, lifting, maybe going biking or playing basketball. It's lonely, but I got used to it I guess
This is how I approach things now. Problem is most women don't make effort unless you're Chad. I'm like a tier below Chad
This is how I approach things now. Problem is most women don't make effort unless you're Chad. I'm like a tier below Chad
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
its pretty polarized, i think that the best bet is to be with someone though. I wisih you 'd change your username man.It feels like a bunch of tradeoffs.
- you stay single, you'll experience loneliness, but less emotional ups and downs, and more freedom.
- you get married, you'll experience more stress, struggle to find free time, have to do lame social stuff etc.
The options seem pretty polarized.
- you stay single, you'll experience loneliness, but less emotional ups and downs, and more freedom.
- you get married, you'll experience more stress, struggle to find free time, have to do lame social stuff etc.
The options seem pretty polarized.
Originally Posted By DrunkonMilk⏩
i dont want to take strikes to the face, if anything BJJ would be my best bet.Instead of BJJ I would pick up boxing or Muay Thai. Go 3-4 days a week and meet some new people. Don’t actively pursue women and one will probably come your way when you least expect it. Getting off all social media and dating apps will also greatly improve your mental health.
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
i would say, ultimatley, getting married or being in a long term is the best bet. But, i ve spent my entire life in relationships, altough not married, and never learned how to be alone, or the moments I was alone, i was activly on dating apps or something.. I need to tough it out, i think, for at least a month? I really think it ill just damage my mental health though cause i will be so isolated.Yeah marriage is mostly not compatible with the sensibilities of people today, it seems. Largely people don't NEED to get married anymore so there isn't much compelling people to work things out no matter what. I could see myself being in a similar boat...
I hear that. My brother is married and has kids. I envy him in some ways but yeah other stuff he tells me I'm just thinking "there's no way in hell I could tolerate that"
I hear that. My brother is married and has kids. I envy him in some ways but yeah other stuff he tells me I'm just thinking "there's no way in hell I could tolerate that"
IF YOU DONT SQUAT, YOU AINT SQUAT
07-22-2024, 10:47 AM
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#20
Currently in a LTR, but my last LTR the girl lived with me. After we broke up, we agreed we'd keep living together for 6 months, then she'd move out. During that time, plus another ~6 months after, I wasn't interested in dealing with any women srs. It's taxing, dealing with other people's problems and chit, the holidays and obligations. Couldn't be arsed for a while. After that I was open to something new, even if it was just a FWB / fling.
07-22-2024, 10:57 AM
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#21
- wasp9166
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Originally Posted By ScrillaIsBake⏩
ThisYeah can't be bothered anymore. There's always another guy or ex in the picture. Feels like I'm always putting more effort than they are. Over it tbh
Just gonna hobbymaxx and moneymaxx
Just gonna hobbymaxx and moneymaxx
07-22-2024, 11:03 AM
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#22
07-22-2024, 11:16 AM
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#23
07-22-2024, 11:20 AM
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#24
07-22-2024, 11:28 AM
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#25
07-22-2024, 11:40 AM
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#26
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Originally Posted By Silence2⏩
Lol my brother gets forced to go to his in-laws all the time. His wife/my sister in law always wants to spend holidays and weekends with her family, not ours. Her family is heavy on estrogen; women outnumber the men and the few men around are emasculated and sit in the mancave and watch football while the hen party cackles on in the other room. Brother says every time he shows up her cousins have all new boyfriends. Some women have multiple kids with multiple men, then invite baby daddy AND new boyfriend over so they can meet, i guess. It sounds like a total chit show.My friends’ and acquaintances’ husbands have to go to a constant stream of weddings, birthday parties, kids parties, in-law family gatherings, joint vacations etc. Basically all their weekends are pre-scheduled with social events by the wife.
They look miserable doing all that but they go along with it to keep the peace.
They look miserable doing all that but they go along with it to keep the peace.
07-22-2024, 11:48 AM
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#27
07-22-2024, 11:52 AM
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#28
07-22-2024, 11:53 AM
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#29
- PadreChulo
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Everytime i go gym i get weirdos trying to talk to me asking if they can train with me and chit. Idk how you guys struggle
Even at work people invite me out for drinks all the time and I have to pass and make up excuses
I got a small circle that im happy with
Even at work people invite me out for drinks all the time and I have to pass and make up excuses
I got a small circle that im happy with
07-22-2024, 11:55 AM
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#30
- brappbrah
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Originally Posted By Omnivium⏩
running clubs are the cheapestGet some hobbies that get you out of the house and around people. Rock climbing, sports, shooting, martial arts, whatever floats your boat
new tinder for millenials
Courtney Ryan is my oneitis
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