For unawares, I posted about my dad's strokes last August on New Misc. He suffered a major ischemic event at home and two subsequent ones in the hospital. 50 fuckin' years old. Near-total blockage of the carotid arteries. Spent a month bedridden in the hospital, then to an inpatient rehab and then more PT/OT at home.

Now he's been home and out of work for about three months. His cognitive state is pretty decent all things considered and he's made tremendous strides in recovery, but he seems to think he's cured. He acts like nothing is wrong despite reduced motor skills, limping and forgetting where he put basic things like his medication. To him, it's a miracle.

But worst of all, he's drinking himself to sleep again. I took him to Wegmans the other day and he bought up a 6 pack of beer. Alcoholism is what caused this shit in the first place (combined with uncontrolled blood sugar from T1 diabetes). He doesn't give a fuck. Just slowly killing himself. I tried to lecture him like I was his dad and he basically told me to shut up, he's gonna do what he wants when nobody is around, etc.

It's frustrating brahs. I know how this story ends.

Wat do?

I guess nothing because ultimately it's his decision. I just have this terrible feeling in my gut that one day I'll be getting a call that he's gone, or suffered a fate worse than death becoming a vegetable from another massive stroke.

Feels like shit.

Nothing you can do. Some people drink til death, others drink until almost dead and scared shitless. Sounds like your dad doesn’t care if he dies.

Shit can take you out in ways you expect and ways you don’t. Had a friend that drank himself to yellow and swelled with ascites head to toe swollen at 33 years old. He quit asap and is healthier now, but most definitely has cirrhosis. He would have never quit without that.

Family friend had a girl that was 46 who just passed away. A few months ago. Drank way more than she should and regularly. One weekend she didn’t feel good and wouldn’t go to the doctor. Dead two days later and died in her husbands arms as he was getting her up to take her to the doctor. Bleeding out the mouth, ears, and nose. All her drinking gave her a massive aneurysm. She didn’t get a chance of a wakeup call. Best of luck to your dad and you trying to help.

Its out of your hands bud

There's nothing you can do. He has to want to change from within.

I think you should be a fucking bro and crack a beer with him.

Have a big family intervention. If that doesnt work, then you'll have to accept he doesn’t have long to live.

Just let him know how much you love him. Feel better brah.

This boyo my families been worried about me since I was 12 I;ve OD'd or nearly died from alcohol and prescription drug abuse about 20 times.

Only person that could make me quit is me, and I don't want to so I'm not going to.

this isn't good brah - sorry to hear about this

my brother's best friend was type 1 and drank a lot. one day they found him at the bottom of the stairs dead. he sometimes missed taking his insulin shot. so not sure if he fainted walking up the stairs but he was in his late 20s at the time.

as for being an alcoholic, i know them feels only too well with another family member. i don't know how he is still standing, everyday was beers, and vodka shots (sips) in between for decades. never had a stroke - but it's sad to say - the clock is for sure ticking.

change can only come from within - and being around a new set of people that lift you up.

if he was going to church every week, it might start to rub off on him.

i've got my mom on a sh*t ton of supplements for general health, anything to help improve/maintain the body is worth the $$.

man i hope he wakes up and stops drinking, i don't know what you can do but get him out for walks and continue to try and talk some sense into him. 50 isn't ancient - he could have another 40+ years in him if he sorts himself out now. he should quit to be around for his kids for years to come

srs

You could try taking a peer recovery training . I think you could find one there. I’ve taken a couple of them and I think it could be helpful for you.
It won’t teach you how to make your dad quit but it could give you some insight. Just a suggestion .


https://addictionrecoverytraining.org/

I ultimately agree that he won’t quit unless it’s something that he wants for himself. Maybe he does? No saying really. Some people don’t know where to start. Im an alcoholic. I’m in recovery but I’m coming from that perspective.

It’s also ok to distance yourself from it. Some people like alanon. Doesn’t seem like you’re there though

Drinking killed my father ded srs . If there’s one thing I learned you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
I’d sure be concerned having strokes though , like who the fk wants be laying in bed drooling like a vegetable.
Luckily for me I just get massive hangovers

No one likes being told what to do. Instead of trying to lecture your father. Make compromises. He's gonna drink, but buy him light beer. Set reminders for him to take his meds and insulin, when y'all cook, make things a bit healthier than last time.

Don't try to make drastic changes. It won't work. Small changes will add up over time.

sounds just like the fate of my uncle who passed last December

an alcoholic for most his life and also a diabetic

that dude had 20 lives, no joke

he was found in a diabetic coma probably 10 different times over the last decade

unfortunately, his stubbornness is what killed him. he never took care of himself or any of his issues seriously

you can lead the horse to water, but you can't make it drink, boyo

Wise words myfriend

Sorry to hear bro.

In addition to Godfrd's great advice of slowly changing his habits for the better, maybe suggest red wine over beer. A glass or two of red wine isn't as bad, as it has antioxidants that they say are good for the heart and lowering inflammation.

When your parent's health hits hard times, there is no one left but children (and possibly other family members) to look out for their health. Be proactive and stay up on his doctor visits and drive him if need be. Maybe get one of those large pill dispensers by day that are harder to lose, but make him set it one place and build a routine of taking the meds. Call him every morning and remind him to take his meds. Sort the pills by day once a week if it helps him.

This is what I'm talking about. I think they make ones with an alarm too, which could help:

Buy him a coffin ⚰️