How do I came to be like this? Well, when I turned 12 my brothers went to University and I was left alone after school so I watched TV, and later started using the Computer as I found it to be more interesting. I started playing video games and browsing the internet every day after school, later found porn too and after a certain time all I wanted to do is go home, literally I went to school and thought about playing games. I wanted to be good in certain games, I found a good clan in TF2 and we practiced every day. As I turned 14 I left the clan and wanted to change my life. I found a few cool girls I flirted with on MSN, and one oneitis who I talked to recently. She was my dream in a sense girl, if you can say that but I was affraid to meet up with her and nothing happened, I went back to gaming. I played SC2 when it came out and played everyday, wanted to be pro and go to korea, but 2 years later I wanted to change again and get a girlfriend. I ended up flirting with the chick I mentioned before but I found out he had many boyfriends and I was late to the party. I tried to hook up with her anyway but she resisted me until one night she invited over. I went to her place but I was inexperienced and didn't know what to do. She was on top on me and started kissing my stomach and I said don't tickle me and chit. So I pretended I was asleep. Next the she broke up with me. One year later we both graduated from different school and she ended up with my cousin. I said phuk it and deleteted her from ********. She tried to contact me 2 times since then, but anyway. Now I'm in college 21 yrs old and alone again.

Funny.

What's the problem? You're only 21. If you actually wanted to change, you would know that and you would work towards it.

unlikely that this will chance

just my 2 cents


stay safe OP

I started working out.

I would honestly hate to be a kid growing up these days. The temptations to be a degenerate are far too numerous and tempting.

At the end of my school days, regular simple mobile phones were popular but not essential.

Went through my later teens at college with a PS2 and a social life. Used to play video games WHEN I wasn't doing anything else.

Didn't get the internet until I was 21.

Can't imagine having smart phones, social media, streaming, Twitch, addictive video games and rampant narcissism constantly at my finger tips.

Even as an adult I still struggle regulating internet use and when I was at university I struggled for a year with becoming too insular and watched porn literally every night for about 4-5 months. Having the internet even as an adult fukked with my social life terribly.

I like to think I'm past that but here I am on the Misc.

Nothing will change until you force a change.

Pick up at least 2 hobbies that require leaving the house and socialising. Do these hobbies at least 3 times a week and force yourself to be sociable at them.

I fixed my life by joining 2 martial arts gyms, BJJ & kickboxing, they forced me to socialises, come back out of my shell and interact with people and not be a degenerate any more.

Misc are my only friends crew.

Do yourself a favor and make some real life friends bro. Seriously.