Ok, first off, I (age 30) love my girlfriend (age 27). She super nice, she's caring (cares for me when I'm sick, makes food for me etc), she's a family girl (my family sucks but hers is quite good).
Buuuuuut... She wants a kid (and maybe several of them). We've been together for about 3 years and she would like a kid in the next 2 years. I could see her being a great mother.

Now I'm not sure where I stand on the kid. I'm quite against the idea of having a child for several reasons:

- I had a pretty sucky childhood. My parents beat me a lot, lots of fights in between my parents, no money etc, had to wear same clothes for a whole year in high school. So that traumatized me.
- I'm quite introverted, and I like spending time in front of the computer playing games and watching movies. I'm into nerdy stuff. Formatting my computer and reinstalling windows 10, tweaking it and reinstalling all the programs is great entertainment for me for instance. It's not that I don't enjoy social contact, but mostly only with my girlfriend and over the internet with other people, and maybe going to a social event once or twice a month.
- I know raising a kid is quite hard. Years of sleepless nights, no more alone time, financial drain etc. The possibility of having a handicapped child.

Then again, all the Hallmark moments of having a kid do appeal to me. Spending Christmas together, celebrating birthdays, travelling etc... But I know those come at a cost, namely the above. Also, I'm not sure if I want to go the childfree route my entire life. Maybe I'd regret it.

There are also some key differences between me and my girlfriend:

- She's a quiet girl who's only concern is to enjoy life. She's not into money, career or other superficial stuff. She just wants family time, time with me and time doing fun stuff. I, on the other hand, enjoy a quiet life in which not every weekend involves an activity. She likes to do stuff most of the time.
- I have somewhat of an early retirement and money fetish. I try to save money on everything, but not overdo as to irritate her. We had some big fights about money. She doesn't throw it out the windows, but she doesn't like to skip stuff in favor of saving the money either.
- I can be a lazy bastard most of the time, and I procrastinate doing house chores until the last minute. Of course when she comes home and she sees I haven't done much she's massively disappointed.
- She's not that much into nerdy stuff. She likes watching movies and shows with me, but that's about it. I would like for her to play games with me but I realize that's a very rare trait in a girl.
- I'm quite selfish, she is very selfless.

So wut do misc? It's mostly the kid issue which is breaking my balls.

Didn’t read

Pics or negs

She sounds like an amazing girl with her priorities figured out and her head on straight. She is aware of her biological clock.

Get with the program or get out of her way.

breaking news: numale manchild doesn't want to sacrifice videogame time to raise a child, more on the collapse of western civilization at 10

Sounds like you should send your girlfriend over to me brah because your ideals differ a lot. (srs)

If she hot she sounds like my goat sloot. I also had an extremely fuked up childhood but realized that traumatic chit like that doesn't give you the right to be fuked up your whole life. That's victim mentality. Recognize how you want to be, what way you believe is the correct way to think and act and man up and fix yourself. If you say I'm this way because of this or that, that's 100% victim mentality and is weak. Yeah traumatic chit will fuk you up for a little bit forsure, and as a kid it's hard to know what's right or wrong but you're an adult. Pick who you want to be, how you want to be, and fukin be it. There is no excuses on why you can't be and act the way you want, it just takes work and discipline. It's also okay if you don't want the things this chick wants and you will be smart in breaking up with her now. It is essential to be with someone who wants what you want and no way or thing is the correct answer. Everyone is different. You aren't wrong for not wanting what your girl wants.

Dude, my heart breaks for you as it pertains to your parents. I can't imagine. Perhaps having a child one day will allow you to right the ship so to speak, to show love to a child that you never had. Terrible, man.

You both never talked about this chit in all these 3 years? I think you've been leading her on and wasting her (and your) time

Dump her so you can quit wasting her time

Didn’t read

Pics or negs

thx breh

In the end OP...a break up will happen. If you two get married a divorce will happen.

2 main reasons:
*She wants a kid.
• You two constantly fight over money

These are fundamental value differences.

My solutions for you:
• Break up with her.
•Go see a therapist about your family issues.
• Stop being lazy

We don't fight constantly over money. She lets me save money by being frugal but not overboard. The kid is the breaking point here. Why don't u guys convince me a kid is worth having?
My lazyness i can fix as well.

That's a tough one. Sounds like a decent girl, however, if you're not prepared to have kids, GTFO.

You sound boring as fuk and basically want everyone around you to fall into your way of life. You didn't know she wanted a kid years before this? Would have been a total waste of 3 prime baby making years of her life if you did know this and are about to dump her.

Do what you want OP, but don't regret it if you end up old and alone.

She sounds like she'd be a perfect stay at home mom who will have dinner and a bj ready for you for when you get home after work. Think about your future.

"Make a quick decision and commit to it. Indecisiveness is the top killer of men."-Tony Robbins

Misc shouldn't really have to convince you to have a kid or not. lol.

Didn’t read

/thread

Cliffs:

I can already see the near future for OP lol

Expect to see multiple threads from OP about loneliness, tinder being terrible, no good girls out there, Alone in the trap, How to find gf, etc.


OP....DON"T DO IT!! Lol

She seems cool OP, if you want to break up with her do it, if you don't, then have a kid.

The issues you listed are things you should probably work on anyways but if you're having doubts, break up with her now instead of making it worse.
I will say though; as someone who had a rough childhood, the issues you faced as a kid will make you aware of things you should avoid in parenthood. I'm sure you'd do fine bro.

I'm boring as fuk because I like quiet time? That's bullchit.... We never had talks about having kids, she just assumed I wanted them.

Don't worry OP she will break up with you soon anyway. She sounds too good to be with a loser like you.

You are 30 years old but whine like a 13 year old kid.

Wanting kids is the default. If you don't want kids, that is something you should have brought up before three years into a relationship.

Christ I feel so sorry for this girl.

Break up with her and stop wasting her time. She seems like she knows what she wants and you not so much.

Also you're 30 years old and are lazy af. Time to grow up

Yeah because at 27 years old, her eggs are already dried up. You're dumb, gtfo back to kitchen where you belong. Stupid ass enforcer of stereotypes.

Wanting kids is the default because PEOPLE ARE SHEEP. They don't know any better and just do whatever the fuk everyone else is doing. Wanting kids should NOT be the default. One reason is because a large part of parents should not be parents. But it's the way the world works, unfortunately.

If she's a great girl and you let a kid be a dealbreaker, good luck out in the dating scene, especially being a nerdy computer-gamer who never leaves the house. What do you think the odds are that you find another girl you love and is awesome that doesn't want a kid? Near zero. Actually, those odds are zero. So you can either have an awesome woman and a kid and a happy family or a damaged sloot or be forever alone. Your choice bro.Dude, what? That's literally how all of life keeps going forward...

You've got some issues that you need to sort out.

I think OP is just trolling. Otherwise he is a 30 year old man who rather play video games than deal with life. Also the fact that he still blames his parents for his shortcomings.

I find it kind of hard to believe people like OP really exist. His story is probably exaggerated just to get a reaction from us.

After 29 the chances of birth defects rise exponentially year after year for women, and likewise fertility drops exponentially. It takes time to get to know someone well enough to know you want kids with them, so if it takes her another 3 years she'll be cutting it short if she plans on having multiple kids.

Wanting kids doesn't make you a sheep. Humans are programmed to procreate and women are especially sensitive to this fact. It's a natural part of life for many people who appreciate family and a core unit of people who will look out for each other, especially as one gets older.

Your own childhood prob has you jaded so that's unfortunate.

So you're telling me my parents should have had children? The people who dragged me by my hair over the floor ate age 10 because I didn't want to go to the car. The people who made me wear the same clothes throughout high school. The people who were drunk every night on the couch... Some, and by some I mean A LOT of people should definitely NOT have kids. But unfortunately, it is the default.
"how all life keeps moving forward". That's just a great ideology you have there, but the human race should not "keep moving forward" the way we are currently. The world is already pretty overpopulated, and it's only going to get worse.

I know all this is beside the point here and I should not let that influence my decision on whether to have kids or not. But I definitely don't agree that having children should be the default. That's just dumb roastie talk.