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Forum » Got removed from wedding party. Thoughts ?
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Thread: Got removed from wedding party. Thoughts ?

post 1577137531 04-01-2019, 06:15 PM
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Got removed from wedding party. Thoughts ?

So I’m from New York. I moved to another state about 7 years ago and all my best friends stayed behind.but we still keep in touch. One of best friends, who I’ve known since I was 16(30 now) called me last year and said hey man I’m getting married and I want you to be in my wedding party, do you want to be one of my best men?. I said of course man! I never heard anything again and the weeeing got pushed back to June of next year.i just assumed I was obv still in the wedding party since I was already asked. He was on business where I live and we met up for dinner. Anyway he was talking about the wedding and said I know you will be cool with sitting while the wedding goes in ( his way of saying not being in I guess)”I invited too many people” , I invited(one of his new friends ) a while ago and they still remembered I invited him so I have to have them. All while he invited me too? He never just said. Hey man I know I invited you but I have too many people. Either way it’s strange as I am one of his best friends. What would you do in this situation. I’m planning on ending my friendship with him and not going to the wedding.
Hey
post 1577137701 04-01-2019, 06:18 PM
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Similar situation let me lay the background, so I’m from New York. I moved to another state about 7 years ago and all my best friends stayed behind.but we still keep in touch. One of best friends, who I’ve known since I was 16(30 now) called me last year and said hey man I’m getting married and I want you to be in my wedding party, do you want to be one of my best men?. I said of course man! I never heard anything again and the weeeing got pushed back to June of next year.i just assumed I was obv still in the wedding party since I was already asked. He was on business where I live and we met up for dinner. Anyway he was talking about the wedding and said I know you will be cool with sitting while the wedding goes in ( his way of saying not being in I guess)”I invited too many people” , I invited(one of his new friends ) a while ago and they still remembered I invited him so I have to have them. All while he invited me too? He never just said. Hey man I know I invited you but I have too many people. Either way it’s strange as I am one of his best friends. What would you do in this situation. I’m planning on ending my friendship with him and not going to the wedding.
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post 1577137751 04-01-2019, 06:18 PM
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You'll look really butthurt by not going but at the same time who does that
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post 1577137891 04-01-2019, 06:20 PM
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And you're complaining why? Weddings suck. Had to be in two of them and I pray no one else I know ever gets married.
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post 1577137911 04-01-2019, 06:20 PM
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Originally Posted By EDMFloridaBrah⏩
You'll look really butthurt by not going but at the same time who does that
Im not butthurt. I’m hurt. Literally it’s a slap in the face
Hey
post 1577138041 04-01-2019, 06:22 PM
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That’s disrespect. Don’t go. And, if asked tell him exactly why.
post 1577138181 04-01-2019, 06:24 PM
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Originally Posted By DDSF1⏩
That’s disrespect. Don’t go. And, if asked tell him exactly why.
Literally this man. Just making sure the majority feels the same way
Hey
post 1577138291 04-01-2019, 06:26 PM
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I would just bail at the last minute. Say you got sick, say your pet fish needs the water changed, doesnt matter. Just don't go. Do not go...he basically said you are not valued as a friend (relative to his other friend).

cliffs: do. not. go.
post 1577138441 04-01-2019, 06:29 PM
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I'd show up if it wasn't that far and wasn't out of pocket.. free food, cheers your mate a good time.

If you gotta pay for a bunch of **** fuk that the new best friend will cover it lmao
If I could smoke fear away, I'd roll that motherfker up and take 2 puffs
post 1577138551 04-01-2019, 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted By bf527365⏩
So I’m from New York. I moved to another state about 7 years ago and all my best friends stayed behind.but we still keep in touch. One of best friends, who I’ve known since I was 16(30 now) called me last year and said hey man I’m getting married and I want you to be in my wedding party, do you want to be one of my best men?. I said of course man! I never heard anything again and the weeeing got pushed back to June of next year.i just assumed I was obv still in the wedding party since I was already asked. He was on business where I live and we met up for dinner. Anyway he was talking about the wedding and said I know you will be cool with sitting while the wedding goes in ( his way of saying not being in I guess)”I invited too many people” , I invited(one of his new friends ) a while ago and they still remembered I invited him so I have to have them. All while he invited me too? He never just said. Hey man I know I invited you but I have too many people. Either way it’s strange as I am one of his best friends. What would you do in this situation. I’m planning on ending my friendship with him and not going to the wedding.
Nah that's really disrespectful by your "friend." I'd be a no show and cut contact.
post 1577138581 04-01-2019, 06:31 PM
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I wouldn’t go and I also wouldn’t send a gift. Fuk that.

Edit: his fiancé probably made the decision for him, which almost makes it worse.
post 1577138791 04-01-2019, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted By Peter
I wouldn’t go andI also wouldn’t send a gift.Fuk that.
post 1577138821 04-01-2019, 06:36 PM
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I don't get it. Are you saying you're disinvited from the bachelor party? But he still wants you to go to the wedding and reception?

The answer is simple, would you do the same to him? If not, then drop him as a friend. You may be his best friend, but he clearly isn't yours.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
post 1577138871 04-01-2019, 06:37 PM
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Tell him "hey man I can tell you've got your hands full with guests so I'll just save you the energy." And move on with your life. Weddings are a waste of time and if it's important to him that you're there then he will make it happen. Who knows what's going through the guy's head, maybe his wife wanted to invite more people and he got cucked who knows.
post 1577138991 04-01-2019, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted By Peter
I wouldn’t go and I also wouldn’t send a gift. Fuk that.

Edit: his fiancé probably made the decision for him, which almost makes it worse.
This is what I’m thinking 1000%. Completely agree man
Hey
post 1577139351 04-01-2019, 06:44 PM
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It's a bish move on his part but I'd be the bigger man. A lot of people in my group of friends moved around the country over the years, I don't expect the guy who was my best friend 10 years ago to still ask me to be his best man. But I also don't expect him to call me and ask me to do so, then back off, cause he's not a bish like your ******* friend.

I'd go anyway though and just accept things as they are. No need to throw away a childhood friendship just because it wasn't what it used to be. Things change mane, that's how life is.
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post 1577139421 04-01-2019, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted By bf527365⏩
Literally this man. Just making sure the majority feels the same way
Sry but I dont seem to quite get your post ? Are u invited to the wedding or not ? I thought the problem is him kinda withdrawing his invite ? Or is wedding party =//= wedding ceremony ?
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post 1577139461 04-01-2019, 06:46 PM
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surely there will be some poon there for the taking
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post 1577139521 04-01-2019, 06:47 PM
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The guy is spending tens of thousands of dollars and is dealing with his family and his wife's family on all these decisions. Just do whatever he wants of you. This day isn't about you.
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post 1577139571 04-01-2019, 06:48 PM
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post 1577139801 04-01-2019, 06:50 PM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
Sry but I dont seem to quite get your post ? Are u invited to the wedding or not ? I thought the problem is him kinda withdrawing his invite ? Or is wedding party =//= wedding ceremony ?
This. Confused as well.

Anyway just slip a note stating why you are hurt under his door, ring doorbell and drive away.
post 1577139831 04-01-2019, 06:51 PM
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Go for the free food but don’t bring a gift
post 1577139941 04-01-2019, 06:53 PM
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if it were me, I'd be relieved. weddings are awful. now that you no longer have a commitment to be in the wedding, I wouldn't even bother going to it at all.
MinisterOfLust: scooterbrah and Mcfreoko are the two worst posters here.
post 1577140541 04-01-2019, 07:04 PM
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To all of you saying weddings are awful: you all must have been in some real sh!tty weddings because they’re fun as hell!

Then again, it’s what you make of it.
post 1577140661 04-01-2019, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted By bf527365⏩
Anyway he was talking about the wedding and said I know you will be cool with sitting while the wedding goes in ( his way of saying not being in I guess)”I invited too many people” , I invited(one of his new friends ) a while ago and they still remembered I invited him so I have to have them. All while he invited me too? He never just said. Hey man I know I invited you but I have too many people. Either way it’s strange as I am one of his best friends. What would you do in this situation. I’m planning on ending my friendship with him and not going to the wedding.
Am I retarded for being confused on what OP is trying to say? Did your friend told you you can't go to the wedding anymore or not? Seriously, I'm so lost right now.
post 1577140851 04-01-2019, 07:12 PM
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Weddings are some bs. Was invited to stag party for my cousin but no invite for wedding. Don’t know why I even went to the stag.
post 1577141041 04-01-2019, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted By Andrew99⏩
The guy is spending tens of thousands of dollars and is dealing with his family and his wife's family on all these decisions. Just do whatever he wants of you. This day isn't about you.
oh be quiet you cuck, a man is responsible for his word and actions at all times, a true friend would be upfront and direct with OP. OP's friend sounds like a pussyfooting gelded weasel from what i can read.
post 1577141181 04-01-2019, 07:16 PM
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Originally Posted By bf527365⏩
So I’m from New York. I moved to another state about 7 years ago and all my best friends stayed behind.but we still keep in touch. One of best friends, who I’ve known since I was 16(30 now) called me last year and said hey man I’m getting married and I want you to be in my wedding party, do you want to be one of my best men?. I said of course man! I never heard anything again and the weeeing got pushed back to June of next year.i just assumed I was obv still in the wedding party since I was already asked. He was on business where I live and we met up for dinner. Anyway he was talking about the wedding and said I know you will be cool with sitting while the wedding goes in ( his way of saying not being in I guess)”I invited too many people” , I invited(one of his new friends ) a while ago and they still remembered I invited him so I have to have them. All while he invited me too? He never just said. Hey man I know I invited you but I have too many people. Either way it’s strange as I am one of his best friends. What would you do in this situation. I’m planning on ending my friendship with him and not going to the wedding.
Probs already been said but mate weddings are controlled by the woman and her family not the groom in my experience. I wouldn't take it personally, it sounds like he thinks you might be a chill guy who gets what the deal is and won't overreact. Do you know his partner/wife to be? If not then that's probably why.
post 1577141281 04-01-2019, 07:17 PM
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i don't get it... so you're still invited but uninvited? Do you even English?
post 1577141451 04-01-2019, 07:20 PM
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So to clarify:

you were asked to be a member of the wedding party, that is a groomsmen
now he met up with you and pretty much said said you're out

you still invited to the reception, but not a member of the party itself

is that right?

if he's a good friend to you then that would hurt, no doubt
if you're petty then pay that back by not showing up
if you're magnanimous then show up, have fun, celebrate his life
one decision focuses on you, the other focuses on other people; not sure which one is better, just different priorities for you different people

good luck with the butt hurt in either scenario
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