Thread: She ended things
08-06-2019, 04:33 PM
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#1
- TheWeeknd4Ever
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- TheWeeknd4Ever
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She ended things
Well, girl I’ve been seeing for a while ended things today. She said she could no longer handle my 80 hour a week work hours and the fact that I work a lot of weekends.
It’s difficult for us to see each other during the week because of my hours and the fact that she lives like 30 minutes outside downtown, where I work and live.
I told her that my feelings for her were bigger than those inconveniences and we could get through it, she said it hurt her heart too much that it was so hard for us to see each other and it was really weighing on her. And, she wasn’t ready to love anyone or be loved by anyone as she has been through a lot in previous relationships. Sucks that she basically said I wasn’t worth it, that she didn’t want to get through the inconvenience of our schedule with me but it is what it is.
Hurts pretty bad, especially because she was the first girl I really let into my heart in a long time as I have always been really afraid of getting hurt like this so I generally have always kept things casual with women and tried having a rotation. She was different and I thought we could really have something great.
Unfortunately, didn’t work out that way. Gonna go back to guarding my heart and just seeing multiple women as I can’t really handle this kind of hurt in my life on a regular basis, already stressed enough as is.
She said she still cares about me deeply and wants me in her life but I can’t do that. Would hurt me too much.
****ty situation, but that’s life. Time to move on and go back to the bachelor lifestyle. Onwards and upwards fellas. Take everything as a learning experience and use it to be better and stronger than you were the day before
It’s difficult for us to see each other during the week because of my hours and the fact that she lives like 30 minutes outside downtown, where I work and live.
I told her that my feelings for her were bigger than those inconveniences and we could get through it, she said it hurt her heart too much that it was so hard for us to see each other and it was really weighing on her. And, she wasn’t ready to love anyone or be loved by anyone as she has been through a lot in previous relationships. Sucks that she basically said I wasn’t worth it, that she didn’t want to get through the inconvenience of our schedule with me but it is what it is.
Hurts pretty bad, especially because she was the first girl I really let into my heart in a long time as I have always been really afraid of getting hurt like this so I generally have always kept things casual with women and tried having a rotation. She was different and I thought we could really have something great.
Unfortunately, didn’t work out that way. Gonna go back to guarding my heart and just seeing multiple women as I can’t really handle this kind of hurt in my life on a regular basis, already stressed enough as is.
She said she still cares about me deeply and wants me in her life but I can’t do that. Would hurt me too much.
****ty situation, but that’s life. Time to move on and go back to the bachelor lifestyle. Onwards and upwards fellas. Take everything as a learning experience and use it to be better and stronger than you were the day before
08-06-2019, 04:38 PM
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#2
- TappingTheZen
- Everettian
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- TappingTheZen
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Just focus on yourself bro, time sorts this **** out, my last break up ended up being an exciting time in my life for personal progression. Just make sure you stay NC.
08-06-2019, 04:39 PM
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#3
- PowersKenny
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- PowersKenny
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You'll be ok broski, but working 80 hours a week will be same issue for most relationships
08-06-2019, 04:40 PM
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#4
08-06-2019, 04:46 PM
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#5
08-06-2019, 04:49 PM
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#6
- Fatkidwholifts
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- Fatkidwholifts
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Sounds like your weekends over, boyo
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08-06-2019, 04:49 PM
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#7
- janglingjack
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Do you work in IB? I remember working those crazy hours. I took a massive pay cut and now work 35 hours a week. Much happier.
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08-06-2019, 04:50 PM
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#8
- FunAndSun
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- FunAndSun
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**** happens. No contact. You'll be alright.
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08-06-2019, 04:52 PM
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#9
- FingerNailsBrah
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- FingerNailsBrah
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Expected fresh prince ending tbh
08-06-2019, 04:52 PM
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#10
- Scarrdbutsmartr
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- Scarrdbutsmartr
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Im not all about stomping on another mans feelings but I hope you realize "you are too busy for me = I've found someone else"....
You've got the right mind set..happy hunting.
You've got the right mind set..happy hunting.
08-06-2019, 04:55 PM
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#11
08-06-2019, 04:55 PM
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#12
08-06-2019, 04:56 PM
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#13
- skinnyfat88
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- skinnyfat88
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Are these 80 hour work weeks year round or just temporary or what?
I get sometimes yuou gotta grind/have a longterm plan but your personal life is gonna suffer due to it.
BOL OP.
I get sometimes yuou gotta grind/have a longterm plan but your personal life is gonna suffer due to it.
BOL OP.
08-06-2019, 05:01 PM
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#14
- KirkMcquest
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- KirkMcquest
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Thats tough. 80 hr work week is not a healthy way to live.
"I yam what I yam" - Popeye the sailor
08-06-2019, 05:07 PM
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#15
08-06-2019, 05:11 PM
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#16
- TheWeeknd4Ever
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- TheWeeknd4Ever
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I work in Investment Banking. 80 hours a week is the normal average I do and that won’t change for a long time.
I understand how that could be hard for someone so, I guess a relationship just isn’t right for me at the moment.
She was honest, and she is doing what she thinks is best for herself and her emotions and I respect that.
Just as you all have said, will NC and move on. Don’t think she said that because she is seeing someone else but I can’t really know for sure.
I understand how that could be hard for someone so, I guess a relationship just isn’t right for me at the moment.
She was honest, and she is doing what she thinks is best for herself and her emotions and I respect that.
Just as you all have said, will NC and move on. Don’t think she said that because she is seeing someone else but I can’t really know for sure.
08-06-2019, 05:16 PM
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#17
- Muzzlrpress
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80 hours. Well, at least you have more time for your jet ski and yacht.
I'm back, bitches!
08-06-2019, 05:17 PM
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#18
- Purfected
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- Purfected
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Originally Posted By TheWeeknd4Ever⏩
Nothing wrong with bachelor life and having a lot of slam pieces you can choose from to hangout withI work in Investment Banking. 80 hours a week is the normal average I do and that won’t change for a long time.
I understand how that could be hard for someone so, I guess a relationship just isn’t right for me at the moment.
She was honest, and she is doing what she thinks is best for herself and her emotions and I respect that.
Just as you all have said, will NC and move on. Don’t think she said that because she is seeing someone else but I can’t really know for sure.
I understand how that could be hard for someone so, I guess a relationship just isn’t right for me at the moment.
She was honest, and she is doing what she thinks is best for herself and her emotions and I respect that.
Just as you all have said, will NC and move on. Don’t think she said that because she is seeing someone else but I can’t really know for sure.
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08-06-2019, 05:22 PM
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#19
- Redfish225
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I loe e.
08-06-2019, 05:24 PM
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#20
- northernlights7
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- northernlights7
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I don't know what you do for a living, but if you're actually pulling 80 hour work weeks on a regular basis as a long-term type of deal, you're eventually going to realize how much it wrecks a person down the road - that is, unless you're a legit workaholic type who genuinely prefers work over things like your family and social life, fully expecting those other aspects of life to take a backseat to your career on a consistent and regular basis. If you're a fairly normal personal mentally about work (i.e. a healthy attitude), you're eventually going to end up extremely bitter and regretful about wasting your entire youth on work. IMO the only way I can really see people justifying it is if it's a seasonal thing a few months a year tops where they pull those kinds of hours, they're doing it short-term to rake in a ton of OT at once, or you do a very serious and important job like being a medical doctor or something. Even MD's I've known for a very long time, including before they went to med school, have sometimes expressed regret about their choice due to the countless sacrifices they make in family and social life. But at least they get to know how incredibly important their work is to the well-being of countless other people in this world.
But, you've already made your choices clear in all this. You valued the amount of hours you put into your job/career, whatever that may be, more than the now ex-girlfriend. I seriously doubt she just suddenly dropped this info on you that she can't handle your ridiculously demanding work schedule hours completely out of the blue if you were a serious couple. You'd have had real discussions with her on the matter and been willing to compromise at least slightly if that weren't the case. But if this is something that very seriously bothers you and feels like a major loss to you, then I would seriously suggest reassessing what is important to you in your life. Because honestly, in all reality, when you're working those types of absurd hours and seldom ever seeing someone you're dating/married to, there comes a point where you barely have a relationship, and are just clinging to the past. Relationships rely on proximity and compromise to remain healthy in the long-term. If you were in the medical field or something where you had absolutely no choice but to work that much on a consistent basis, then you'd need to put a ton of effort into working around it to maintain any sort of family life.
But, you've already made your choices clear in all this. You valued the amount of hours you put into your job/career, whatever that may be, more than the now ex-girlfriend. I seriously doubt she just suddenly dropped this info on you that she can't handle your ridiculously demanding work schedule hours completely out of the blue if you were a serious couple. You'd have had real discussions with her on the matter and been willing to compromise at least slightly if that weren't the case. But if this is something that very seriously bothers you and feels like a major loss to you, then I would seriously suggest reassessing what is important to you in your life. Because honestly, in all reality, when you're working those types of absurd hours and seldom ever seeing someone you're dating/married to, there comes a point where you barely have a relationship, and are just clinging to the past. Relationships rely on proximity and compromise to remain healthy in the long-term. If you were in the medical field or something where you had absolutely no choice but to work that much on a consistent basis, then you'd need to put a ton of effort into working around it to maintain any sort of family life.
08-06-2019, 05:26 PM
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#21
08-06-2019, 05:30 PM
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#22
- pondus_levo
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- pondus_levo
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Work life balance...
Odds are it's a bunch of bull**** and she was just tired of you, or found someone else, though. She would have at least asked you to spend more time with her if that's what she really wanted.
NO ONE should work more than 40 hours a week unless they are being compensated...and 80 hours is pretty ****ing stupid TBH. Life is too short for that.
Odds are it's a bunch of bull**** and she was just tired of you, or found someone else, though. She would have at least asked you to spend more time with her if that's what she really wanted.
NO ONE should work more than 40 hours a week unless they are being compensated...and 80 hours is pretty ****ing stupid TBH. Life is too short for that.
Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=131498033
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08-06-2019, 05:36 PM
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#23
- rareangus
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- rareangus
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I feel that man. Work similar hours, similarly stressful job. Made decision to cut my ex out because timing wasn't right // had nothing left for her.
Just focus on yourself, bachelor it up, focus on yourself. Your hours will wind down in a few years and you'll find she's gone from your mind and you can do much better.
Just focus on yourself, bachelor it up, focus on yourself. Your hours will wind down in a few years and you'll find she's gone from your mind and you can do much better.
08-06-2019, 05:44 PM
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#24
- nosirrahx
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- nosirrahx
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Had a chick dump me for the same reason maybe 10 or so years ago.
Retired now with sh!tloads of free time.
If someone isn't willing to make the sacrifice with you, fuk em.
Retired now with sh!tloads of free time.
If someone isn't willing to make the sacrifice with you, fuk em.
Eat in a deficit to lose weight.
Hit your protein and fat minimums to stay healthy and keep your gainz.
Lift heavy and do HIIT to look and feel awesome.
Use the internet to learn why you should do these things and how to do these things.
08-06-2019, 05:48 PM
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#25
- jackflag
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Women live on attention.
You couldn't provide ample attention.
She wants to find someone who will.
End of story.
You couldn't provide ample attention.
She wants to find someone who will.
End of story.
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08-06-2019, 05:52 PM
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#26
- sabonis224
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What do you do OP? I work full time over nights. Have a per diem job that I work one or two shifts a week. I go to college full time. So during the semesters I am busy like 90 hours a week, not even counting hours of rest. This is a big fear of mine in trying to enter a new relationship, that the focus on myself will be a struggle.
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08-06-2019, 05:59 PM
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#27
- TheWeeknd4Ever
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- TheWeeknd4Ever
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There is no compromising on hours. You literally can not do that. You can not just leave work when you want if there is work to do, and if you have to be in on the weekend, you just have to. I don’t have a say. She had brought up these concerns a while ago but she knew coming in what my lifestyle was like and she told me we would get through it together.
After getting off after 10pm I would go to her house 30 minutes away and sleep over, only to come back in the morning at 5 am to get ready. Sometimes she would drive me home and just crash at my place for the day.
I definitely made the effort and she did as well. Just got to be too difficult, that’s fine. It’s life
We would spend a lot of tome together on the weekends though, I thought that was enough but maybe not. All good though, learning experience for sure. Every decision has consequences, and my career choice is no different. This is the path I chose and I have to accept the consequences that come with it
After getting off after 10pm I would go to her house 30 minutes away and sleep over, only to come back in the morning at 5 am to get ready. Sometimes she would drive me home and just crash at my place for the day.
I definitely made the effort and she did as well. Just got to be too difficult, that’s fine. It’s life
We would spend a lot of tome together on the weekends though, I thought that was enough but maybe not. All good though, learning experience for sure. Every decision has consequences, and my career choice is no different. This is the path I chose and I have to accept the consequences that come with it
08-06-2019, 06:05 PM
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#28
- BoomPowSurprise
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Downtown? Sounds like you're in Vancouver. My ex and I recently broke up too, year and 5 months together tho for similar reasons. I'm too focused on my goals instead of looking at the big picture of "her and I together". I got a mortgage to pay whereas she wants to travel somewhere every 3 months (she just went to Caribbean and coming up to Vegas with her friends) all while doning a student loan - no chit our goals are different. Sad kent since I saw so much potential in her but such is life. Now I gotta up my tinder pics since all current ones are with her.
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08-06-2019, 06:14 PM
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#29
- nosirrahx
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- nosirrahx
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Originally Posted By TheWeeknd4Ever⏩
Grind until you are free.There is no compromising on hours. You literally can not do that. You can not just leave work when you want if there is work to do, and if you have to be in on the weekend, you just have to. I don’t have a say. She had brought up these concerns a while ago but she knew coming in what my lifestyle was like and she told me we would get through it together.
After getting off after 10pm I would go to her house 30 minutes away and sleep over, only to come back in the morning at 5 am to get ready. Sometimes she would drive me home and just crash at my place for the day.
I definitely made the effort and she did as well. Just got to be too difficult, that’s fine. It’s life
We would spend a lot of tome together on the weekends though, I thought that was enough but maybe not. All good though, learning experience for sure. Every decision has consequences, and my career choice is no different. This is the path I chose and I have to accept the consequences that come with it
After getting off after 10pm I would go to her house 30 minutes away and sleep over, only to come back in the morning at 5 am to get ready. Sometimes she would drive me home and just crash at my place for the day.
I definitely made the effort and she did as well. Just got to be too difficult, that’s fine. It’s life
We would spend a lot of tome together on the weekends though, I thought that was enough but maybe not. All good though, learning experience for sure. Every decision has consequences, and my career choice is no different. This is the path I chose and I have to accept the consequences that come with it
Eat in a deficit to lose weight.
Hit your protein and fat minimums to stay healthy and keep your gainz.
Lift heavy and do HIIT to look and feel awesome.
Use the internet to learn why you should do these things and how to do these things.
08-06-2019, 06:15 PM
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#30
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