cliffs
Divorced, I filed Mid-june, finalized end of July.
I have full physical custody, she pays child support, I keep house.
We split assets 50/50.
She is/was banging a former boss in another city from a job she had over 8 years ago.
I grew distant the last couple of years due to job/mental burnout situation.
Wife is experiencing midlife crisis.

Timeline
Beginning of June, wife moves out, we verbally agree on terms of divorce.
Then I begin preparing all legal documents.
Mid-June I meet with wife to discuss the documents and go over every single page, line item, and terms.
Then I meet with an attorney to review documents. After that wife and I sign and notarize all documents. I file the divorce.
End of July we both attended the court hearing where the judge finalized the divorce.


Story
took overseas trip in May, returned jet lagged and wife and I discussed divorce. Both of us stayed in bed that entire weekend pretty much crying, fuking, kissing. Announce it to our son. She said she didn't have feelings for me anymore. I felt similarly in 6 months prior to the trip, but during the trip wanted to try and turn things around. She also said that she felt like something else was out there waiting for her, she needed to find herself, and that she needed space.

I'm a miscer and ain't no fool, so I know there is clearly another dude in the picture and that her "something" was a "someone."

She moves into apartment within 6 days. The following weekend she is gone. We began our custody arrangement pre-divorce, and I had our child that weekend. Out of worry and jealousy I call and text with no response a few times late night Saturday. She responds 5am Sunday that she is sorry and will call later. She shows up at my house Sunday 1pm angry and screaming about how I bothered her during "her weekend", which she refers to when she doesn't have the child visitation. She said she went away to do some thinking and look at nature. lol ok

I hire PI, and find out over the next 3 weeks she is traveling a couple of hours out of state to visit a guy she used to work indirectly under before we relocated to ATL. During June and up to mid-July she was traveling there mid-week and worked remote from the dude's house and then stayed there through Sunday night when she didn't have child visitation. While obsessed or infatuated, I barely had any communication from her other than a few short texts or responses when I saw her. She was very cold. When we did meet or if she called about something, she was quick to get angry, paranoid, and upset. All summer I've had to calm her down.

She would say things like I should be paying her alimony and child support because I make more money (divorced gf has been feeding her garbage over the last 12 months I found out). I told her I would lawyer up and make sure our assets burned if she tried to pull that alimony crap on me. Also, I "threatened" her with giving her full custody if she wanted it, and that I would be fine paying child support. She backed away, especially when I added "let's see how your new boyfriend likes you with an adolescent, and all the logistics that would entail."

Honestly, she didn't want custody. The only thing she worried about all summer was having to pay child support. Tried to sweet talk me into making it zero. Tried to make me feel bad by saying she doesn't buy a lot of groceries, etc. lmao bish I did all the money calculations for both of us, and she will be fine gtfo.

In mid-July, she starts opening up to me again, had dinner at my house and told me things like the guy she's seeing has commitment issues, and she can see herself getting bored, and that she was never bored with me. She is feeding me tons of things to keep me as plan B. I play along for the most part because her mental state and mood swings go crazy, and I just want the divorce to be finalized for financial safety reasons. Dude lives on a golf course, has a boat and jet ski, and she tells me how much fun she's been having on the water (never was interested in boats before btw). I massage her neck, my dik gets hard and i whip it out, she puts her hand around it but we stop ourselves from doing anything further. I can sense she feels a little guilty and I ask her if she feels like she is cheating on the other guy when we do stuff like this, and she says yes. Makes me angry because divorce isn't done, but keep it to myself.

Anyway, divorce is final. I'm not stressing, but feel sadness. Not angry or bitter, just sad. Just glad I have my boy and money is good. She is still trying to keep tabs on me, gets jealous because I was seeing a woman a few times last couple of weeks. I break it off because I just don't feel like getting involved with anyone atm. Ex tells me that it would be romantic if we end up getting back together. Tells me her divorced friend and the friend's ex husband are casually dating after 1 year of being divorced. lol ok.

Cheers to the other man because I couldn't have gotten the divorce this way without you.

good attitude, charge it to the game.

congrats breh, coulda gone way worse.

Sorry to hear that man, concentrate on your kid now, he'll need the stability and structure, his mother is selfish, he'll realize YOU were there for him as kid, nothing more important than him right now. Good luck, you are a good man.

Good for you OP. Might take some time to move on but you'll get through it.

congrats, sounds like a horrible situation.

Would you recommend marriage after this experience?

Reps to you for showing your son how to be a man. It's sad that it had to be something as monumental as marriage, though.

Neg canons if you get back with her.

Sounds like you did everything right and it worked out about as well as you could expect in the end. Take a bunch of time for yourself and your kid now, you've earned it.

Good on you for moving forward properly

I did laugh at the part where you whipped your dick out

Fuuuu.

Posts like this make me thank god I tell my girlfriend "I don't believe in marriage" when she asks if we ever will, lol.

In a world where men are constantly being raped by divorce courts, I'm pleased to read this thread.

Rare that the guy comes out on top in these types of situations so props to the more or less positive outcome of a chit situation.

Dam man, what kind of mom doesnt want custody, sad.

Been there too, all of the jealousy, sleepless nights, spying, roller coaster of emotions. Never again man

Glad you made it out!

Sounds like you're gonna come out the other side of this ok. And don't think with your penor next time she's around.

lol marriage

the job was good the man was dave

One that wants to "make up for lost time".

OP is a bit of a moody cuck.

Wants to pretend he's headstrong, but kept doing things that were flaky towards standing by his principles even after finding out wife already had a bf.

Good for you the divorce turned out well.

But you still acted like an emo b!tch when you couldn't just distant yourself from your soon-to-be ex wife even after you found out she already had somebody's c@ck in her mouth. Gross.

Time to hit up friend's daughters now amirite?

Sounds like you played it well lmao

Congrats OP. Seems like the right move.
How long were you together?
Sucks she was monkey-branching on you. Was she type to do that prior to you two being together or were you quite shocked about it?

how long were you two married for? has there always been marital discord? did the feelings of love fade after you two had the child?

Every once in awhile, I wonder what marriage would be like, but then I read a thread like this and I’m reminded... marriage, not even once. Thanks for living it so others learn from your mistakes. You sound like a smart dude though, you’ll be fine

Reps on rc

Party at your place?

Thanks brahs. Definitely taking your advice about taking time for myself and my kid.I didn't recommend marriage while I was married lol. It's a different world than even 15 years ago.
However, I feel like my marriage was overall a positive experience. It really just went haywire in the last 2 years from two main things:
1. workaholic on my part led to a burnout situation that I had to recover from and it put strain on the relationship.
2. she is having hormonal issues/midlife crisis.

I say midlife crisis because it wasn't just an affair. If she was done with me or hated my guts, she would cleanly break away. However, during our divorce process she would cry, she would tell me how she feels like a disappointment, dissatisfied with her career, blamed me for a lot of her unhappiness, mentioned suicide like 3 times when she NEVER was this way, running off living her free lifestyle. All of this while telling me that she thinks divorcing is stupid and she'll regret it but feels powerless to stop it and that it's meant to be.

I may have posted on the misc a few times about her extreme mood swings over the last couple of years, which I thought could be her experiencing pre-menopause. Who knows, but I have no doubt that she has mental problems right now.If I get back with her, it won't be remarriage. She can help with the mortgage tho lol.

Yep. I try to speak respectful of her with him. However, when he came back after a weekend visitation telling me that I made mom feel bad because I bought a new car, and she was staring at her paycheck in front of him acting depressed (she is financially fine, and after divorce, VERY liquid), I had to throw some knowledge at him.

I said most women, and some men, will use charm or try to gain sympathy from men so that we are manipulated to feel bad for them and want to help them or support them. I told him mom and dad are humans, and that we aren't perfect, and that he is old enough now to use his own brain, ears and eyes, to decide if someone is trying to manipulate him.

Again, she has a divorced friend she has been leaning on. From the day right before the divorce through even yesterday, she has been telling me that I tricked her and got everything I wanted: the house and kid. lol, no bish, you got tricked by the dik.Yep, it will take a long time for me to emotionally recover from this due to the long-term relationship dying. Definitely a mental struggle not to fall for the re-trap.

Never heard of a mom not interested in custody. Strong kunt.

You did good with the legal stuff but you were a bit of a cuck when it came to her. You make it sound not too bad in your post but I can tell you’re being beta and lusting after her even tho she’d rather phuk the new guy. Sounds like you tried a few times to get with her and she rejected you and saved you as a plan b and it gives you hope deep down. Have some self respect and distance yourself dude

As OP astutely noted, it would interfere with her getting-stuffed-by-new-dink goals for 2019.

This. Very happy for you OP that you are out of that situation, that too a cheating kunt.

I wish you and your son the best, hope you surround him with positive influences and give him the best life going forward.

Sounds like stuff out of nightmares, I'm glad its over for you OP. Have fun.

#independent
#priorities