This is going to be long, apologizing in advance.

Background:

So my deadbeat biological father knocked up my mom when both were 18. He then went on to spend the better part of his 20s knocking up women around the country and not honoring his responsibilities. One of these women he knocked up was a drug addict in Detroit. She had a daughter(my bio half sister) and obviously if you grow up in that you also become it.

My sister, we’ll call her Jenna, is a mess. She is the embodiment of everything you see on intervention or drugs inc. Jenna is a prostitute and heroine addict, and homeless. She’s had three other children, all removed by CPS because CPS doesn’t like when you deliver a baby, come up positive for every drug on the panel, and have no home of record. A couple years ago when I googled her arrest record it was a mile long. In the last 6 months alone her ******** has had “I just came into a bottle of ********, who wants to buy some”, a picture of her and some dude in his 60s or 70s (obvious John or pimp) with a crack pipe visibly between them in the center console of the car, and a ******** live video of her driving her “stoley” (apparently that’s a stolen car) looking to score drugs. It’s madness.

Fast forward to this morning:

In the middle of the night Jenna sends me a ******** message. It says something to this effect: “ hi bill. I am pregnant. I want to know if you want the baby. Otherwise I am getting an abortion. I have no idea who the father is. All my other children were born healthy and without defects.” Obvious mindfuk. I am torn between what the right thing to do is and what the prudent thing to do is. Finances aren’t an issue other than I’d probably be better off to get a bigger house.

These are my concerns:

Safety - I only live about two hours from Detroit. Jenna or her pimp or crackhead friends could find out where I live. I have two young children and I worry about their safety. To people who live in trap houses or in the streets, a middle class family are warren buffet to them, and ripe for robbing.

I have no way to ensure she takes proper prenatal precautions. The baby will be born addicted to opiates and ******* most likely. Not sure I am equipped to handle that.

I am worried a high maintenance baby will take from the love I have to give to my own kids. Plus I live near no family and have minimal help now. This situation would only be exasperated.

Will she go typical prostitution MIA in a couple months leaving me worried where she is with my baby?

I also know what’s right, and this is family. I don’t feel some duty to save all the aborted fetuses of the world, but this does have a sense of “happening for a reason” to it. I feel extremely selfish bc other than safety of my kids as top reason not to do it, the other reasons center more on not blowing up my relatively comfortable life..

Apologies for the novel above. I hope it makes sense. What would you do?

Cliffs

- druggie whore sister I have no relationship with is preggo

- wants me to take the baby

- I could swing it financially but not sure I am equipped to handle it otherwise or if I am prepared for what I’m getting into

If you want to and are financially able to, then do it......but dont get roped into something that will drastically change your life to "help" someone who probably couldn't give a chit less and isnt going to change anything now that shes pregnant

But also realize that the kid might have issues due to the choices that have been made for the body that is carrying it.


I didn't read all of your post, but I'd probably tell her to fuk off.............If you want to help her, tell her you'll pay for the abortion and help her get clean.

Let her abort it and keep your life together. The moment you let someone like that into your life in any meaningful way, they will take that opportunity to **** it up.

Lousy situation. Why are you ******** friends anyway? If you say yes and adopt this baby, what will you do next time when she asks you again?

She ruined her life, now you want to let her ruin yours too?

She’ll never be clean. I don’t want to do anything for her really

I get that too. Trauma in utero ****s up kids brain chemistry. So I could be lining myself up for something horrible. But maybe the baby is fine and I just saved a life..idk brah

While it may seem to be the noble thing to do....and it may work out. I can really see nothing but problems for you. Continuing legal and financial issues for you, emotional issues for the kid

Don’t do it. It will hurt you financially, socially, and your entire career will be altered.

I’ve thought this. Definite boundaries would need to be laid.

I changed a bit of the story to protect the innocent. The message was to my wife. We don’t actually ever communicate with her

Right, I’m worried about ****ing a ton of lives up in the interest of being “noble”

so killing someone is the better alternative? ok

Op, all i can tell you is what i would do personally. I would take the baby and raise it as your own; its still your blood. Do you really want to see it grow up to be abused and end up a crack head itself? You could give another person a meaningful life. Theres nothing more noble than that.

The issue i see is what happens when shes inevitable knocked up again because she sold her vagina for some dope? you cant just keep taking babies on

Yeah this would be it, I’d hope she got her tubes tied on delivery but either way I’d take no more of her children.

Gonna marinade on it over the weekend. Tough call. Appreciate all the responses

Yes, in this case it is. The path to hell is paved with good intentions.

If I told you that I am going to kill a random person you don't know unless you paid me money for the rest of your life, would you pay me money or let that random person die?

OP is not the one making the moral decision here, that's already been made by his crack head half-sister.

No. Don't do it.
I've seen this several times in my life.

All this does is enable the mother to continue to be a chit.

ALSO!!! You have kids. You have to protect them. You don't want "Jenna" trying to come back into her child's life at some point and drag her other druggie friends along to be around your family.
She may act clean at first but then she will start bringing her filthy druggy chits with here.

What she chooses to do is her responsibility. Not yours. It's amazingly chitty for her to even ask.

Keep your kids safe.

How is that even a question? Absolutely not. You'd be an irresponsible chithead to bring that mess into your life when you claim to already have kids of your own who would have to suffer from it. Don't ruin your own life just because some stupid broad you're half biologically related to ruined theirs.

Holy ****. Sorry you're having to go through this OP.
















































What a sloot

i can assure you that the kid will have infinitely more emotional issues if its raised by that mother or put into the system.

financial issues? sure youll have to buy kid clothes, food, and healthcare but its 100% an investment in OPs (and the childs) life that is worth more than anything.

that kid will bring op more happiness and fulfillment than money could ever buy.

Ms. Pat, is that you?

So the consensus is bad idea? Do you think having kids or not of your own has an impact on your opinions? Curious if you all have kids..

Don’t do it. It sounds noble and easy when you type it out on the misc but you’re giving your drug addicted, prostitute half sister an easy way into your life. She will ALWAYS have a reason to insert herself into your life if you do this. Up til this point, you’ve watched from afar. Do you really want to be closer to her situation?

a random person vs your niece/nephew

besides, i have two kids and i can safely say with 100% confidence that the money they do cost me is paid back 100 fold in other ways. And honestly, they arent THAT expensive, in fact the wife is more expensive....

yea the sister made a terrible moral decision but OP is certainly left with a moral decision himself. Hes certainly not obligated and I wouldnt blame him for not taking the kid though.

So much this.

Quoting this for emphasis OP. Your priority is to look after your wife and kids and keep them safe. You don't want drug addict scum showing up and dragging your family down with them.

It's a terrible idea.

You could say that about adopting ANY kid. How many crack babies have you lined up to adopt?

OP also has to worry about his own kids. This isn't just his own life he'd be messing up by doing that. Have fun dealing with it when the crackwh0re "mother" decides she's entitled to being in her kid's life again and brings all her bs with her and your own kids have a weird childhood because of it, OP.

i have two and it certainly impacted my opinion. most people in here saying dont do it probably dont have kids, which is why they are so quick to say that the burden of your sister is more important than your neice/nephews life.

i mean i just dont understand how a little drama in my life could deter me from saving my own bloods life (thats what you would be doing). but again they dont have kids so i cant really blame them for not fully grasping this

Having my own kids and a similarly fukked up sibling, there is absolutely no way I could it. I feel like the issues that would likely come with the baby, would far outweigh the positives.

this a heavy misc thread for a friday bro

For what it’s worth, as far as I know she hasn’t tried to insert herself into her other kids lives. Granted I think all are out of state (one is with our loser father)

Lol I wasn’t putting this **** on my weirdo finance coworkers, you all were the next option

I don't have kids, but my birth mother was very much the way you describe your sister.

When she got pregnant with me, her older brother was a social worker and worked for an adoption agency, and helped her find a family who would be good parents. He then facilitated a closed adoption. If I were in your shoes, this is all I would consider doing. Find a good home for the baby who is removed from your immediate family, and work with the legal system to ensure boundaries are in place.

The only contact she had was the first year - the agreement stated my parents were to send her two photos a month of me, and even then my parents send the photos through the adoption agency as a sort of mediator. I can't imagine the drama had it been semi-open or an open adoption.

You're dealing with some pretty heavy stuff right now. Take care of yourself and your family first.