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Rate my poem as well as help me with grammatical errors please :D
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07-15-2020, 03:35 PM
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#1
- Itsoverboyosx
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- Itsoverboyosx
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Rate my poem as well as help me with grammatical errors please :D
This is my first one that I have done in English. I am Swedish, so no harsh stuff please. I know I may have made some grammatical or spelling errors, but I hope it's still readable. If you have any tips on maybe a line that can be improved or changed, feel free to contribute
.
there's a kid in my town about 10 years old, with a heart of sheer gold, though it may appear cold.
His eyes are windows into a scarred mind, it's safe to say this kid has seen some hard times.
His clothes are dirty, and so is his face, there were sparks in his eyes, he tries to show us his ways.
He's got stories to tell, that will teach us a thing or two, he will tell em if you pay him, he will preach us to sing a tune.
But nowadays customers are rare his figured, and feelings of anger and dispair were triggered. See, he's patiently waiting for our minds to change, and all the other kids think's he's kind of strange.
The way he's talking to himself, scribbling letters in the dust, he stays the same, while others think it's better to adjust. His plan was to eat for the money he'd earn, if people show no respect, they get non in return.
So now there's no turning back, like when you broken a seal, he'd rather steal, than beg these folks for meals. He's grown accustomed to jokes and sarcastic gags, he carries all of his belongings in a plastic bag.
Tells himself not to lose hope, and he is trying to sell his thoughts for pennies, but nobodies buying, they pay him no mind, they don't know what their missing, he's got stories to tell, but nobody listens. Never have I ever seen a kid with a sadder smile, poor child.
There's a kid in my town, he's got stories to tell, compared to his life, yours is boring as hell. While you leave home every morning with your 9 to 5, this kid is working with his words to keep his mind alive.
No one knows the story about his mother and father, maybe he's willing to tell it if only someone would bother. He tries to get your attention, but it's all in vain, caught without an umbrella, in the pouring rain.
Cold people, bother him more than cold water, but not enough to keep him from exploring old borders, and forcing him forward ,to where no man's gone before, he's got stories to tell, and he demands some reward. Instead he's ridiculed, and spitted on by some, he lead the way, but people, they just didn't wanna come.
I know some of his stories, he's told me quite a few, but you know, they are not meant for me to recite to you. Ask him yourself, because, with no doubt, the stories are best heard from his own mouth. I admire the fire that's still in his eyes, a hero in a somewhat silly disguise.
He knows the truth, and he is willing to die, he lives more in one day, than we will in our lives. Never have I seen a kid with a sadder smile, makes me wonder what could possibly have happened to that child. Poor child...
The end!
.there's a kid in my town about 10 years old, with a heart of sheer gold, though it may appear cold.
His eyes are windows into a scarred mind, it's safe to say this kid has seen some hard times.
His clothes are dirty, and so is his face, there were sparks in his eyes, he tries to show us his ways.
He's got stories to tell, that will teach us a thing or two, he will tell em if you pay him, he will preach us to sing a tune.
But nowadays customers are rare his figured, and feelings of anger and dispair were triggered. See, he's patiently waiting for our minds to change, and all the other kids think's he's kind of strange.
The way he's talking to himself, scribbling letters in the dust, he stays the same, while others think it's better to adjust. His plan was to eat for the money he'd earn, if people show no respect, they get non in return.
So now there's no turning back, like when you broken a seal, he'd rather steal, than beg these folks for meals. He's grown accustomed to jokes and sarcastic gags, he carries all of his belongings in a plastic bag.
Tells himself not to lose hope, and he is trying to sell his thoughts for pennies, but nobodies buying, they pay him no mind, they don't know what their missing, he's got stories to tell, but nobody listens. Never have I ever seen a kid with a sadder smile, poor child.
There's a kid in my town, he's got stories to tell, compared to his life, yours is boring as hell. While you leave home every morning with your 9 to 5, this kid is working with his words to keep his mind alive.
No one knows the story about his mother and father, maybe he's willing to tell it if only someone would bother. He tries to get your attention, but it's all in vain, caught without an umbrella, in the pouring rain.
Cold people, bother him more than cold water, but not enough to keep him from exploring old borders, and forcing him forward ,to where no man's gone before, he's got stories to tell, and he demands some reward. Instead he's ridiculed, and spitted on by some, he lead the way, but people, they just didn't wanna come.
I know some of his stories, he's told me quite a few, but you know, they are not meant for me to recite to you. Ask him yourself, because, with no doubt, the stories are best heard from his own mouth. I admire the fire that's still in his eyes, a hero in a somewhat silly disguise.
He knows the truth, and he is willing to die, he lives more in one day, than we will in our lives. Never have I seen a kid with a sadder smile, makes me wonder what could possibly have happened to that child. Poor child...
The end!
07-15-2020, 03:42 PM
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#2
- Itsoverboyosx
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- Itsoverboyosx
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- Join Date: Jul 2019
- Age: 56
- Posts: 206
- Rep Power: 0
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