BUMPED into my ex's parents!! HOW DID I HANDLE THE SITUATION??...((STORY))((CRINGE))

07-24-2020, 09:19 AM

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#1

demfeelsbro
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BUMPED into my ex's parents!! HOW DID I HANDLE THE SITUATION??...((STORY))((CRINGE))

Went out with ex for 7 years, finished with her 4 years ago because sloots gonna sloot. Haven't communicated with her since.

CLIFFS:

-On my daily walk around my local park
-Op has put weight on during quarantine and is currently not feeling too good about himself.
-walking down long stretch of path, see a couple walking towards me, as they get closer I realise they're my ex's parents
-Start to panic. Do not want to talk to them, but a interaction is inevitable (if I talk to them they might tell ex i'm a fat kunt now)
-They are about 30 metres away from me now, and are starting to look over at me.
-Nervously start rooting through my pockets. Only thing I have on me are my car/house keys (left phone at home)
-Ex's parents about 25 meters away now
-OP proceeds to take keys out pocket and starts to pretend they are his phone
-Literally start thumbing my keys like i'm scrolling and look at them like i'm reading something.
-Ex's parents about 20 meters away now.
-Thinking to myself 'wtf are you doing?'
-The closer they get the chances of them realising i'm using my keys as a phone increase....I decide to take evasive action
-to the right of the path is a hedgerow
-I start looking at my keys as if i'm looking at directions
-I point my keys over towards the hedge and nod my head as if to say 'ahhh it must be this way'
-I walk towards the hedge, whilst looking at my keys, feel like i'm having an outer body experience...can't believe what i'm doing
-The hedge is quite thick. I walk through the hedge, getting scraped by brambles, snagged on twigs still looking down at my keys and pretending i'm on the right path to my destination.
-Finally make it out the other side of the hedge and waddle off into the distance to embarrassed to turn around and look if anyone had seen.
-Had to do a 50 minute detour to get back to my house.

Did I handle this like an alpha?

07-24-2020, 09:20 AM

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#2

Titansfan08
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Cliffs of cliffs

07-24-2020, 09:21 AM

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#3

Stray800
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07-24-2020, 09:21 AM

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#4

andres93
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First 3/4 were painful to read but I loled @ the last part. GJ OP

07-24-2020, 09:22 AM

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#5

George2100
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Should have walked right by them and said “u mirin?”

07-24-2020, 09:23 AM

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#6

demfeelsbro
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Originally Posted By George2100⏩

Should have walked right by them and said “u mirin?”

I would have if I was in my pre-quarantine shape

07-24-2020, 09:24 AM

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#7

Sinan09400
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Started reading now OP. Hopefully my grandparents keep reading where I left off and will be able to report back on this situation

07-24-2020, 09:25 AM

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#8

backinthegymbro
Never accept defeat!

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Pretty sure eyesight works within 25 meters. Instead of thinking you're a fat kunt, now they think you're an autistic fat kunt.

It doesn't matter though. Whether your ex thinks highly of you or think you're scum. Whether she wants you back or whether she's riding the dink carousel or getting married. All of that is completely irrelevant.

The only thing that matters is that you live the best life you can live.
Stop worrying about the opinions of those who not matter. It will not change your life.

Cobra Kai never dies!

07-24-2020, 09:30 AM

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#9

AlexSays
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bro...

Died at assertive hedge expedition tho

Somehow still managing to avoid getting 'too big'

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07-24-2020, 09:33 AM

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#10

Leon09
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Pretty alpha OP. I'm sure you're ex will be BEGGING you to take her back

07-24-2020, 09:34 AM

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#11

Sarevoke75
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parents thought wow my daughter dated this autist and then laughed at you

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07-24-2020, 09:35 AM

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#12

2010JW
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the hedge part had me luling

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07-24-2020, 09:38 AM

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#13

Fuqdatass
You Never Had Me

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Nothing beats barreling through a monster hedge using your keys as GPS to kick off the day

Well played

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07-24-2020, 09:38 AM

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#14

2am
)))))))))))))))))))))))))

2am
)))))))))))))))))))))))))

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autistic if true

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07-24-2020, 09:38 AM

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#15

MrFrogbottom
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Parents went home and told their daughter that the autistic stalker kept the court-ordered 20 yards distance from them, but had to run into the bushes to do so. Then they all laughed and laughed at OP.

Men get arrested. Dogs get put down.

07-24-2020, 09:41 AM

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#16

Scottybby
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07-24-2020, 09:41 AM

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#17

FemaleWarriorxo
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So autisti, but funny asf lmao

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07-24-2020, 09:43 AM

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#18

RackaDo
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Should’ve just looked past them and then done the straight smile/eye contact when you got close and kept going

Probably would be awkward nonetheless but you would not have looked autistic

You guys, I'm seriously

07-24-2020, 09:49 AM

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#19

multiplemiggs
P E R V E R T

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Lmfao.
50 minute detour is alpha af.

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07-24-2020, 09:52 AM

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#20

JStrez
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I'm still friendly with my exes parent's and I harbor no ill will towards any of them. The most awkward moment I had was I was out to dinner with a girl at a fancy ass steak house since she wanted steak. I told her that I used to go there with my ex because it was her dad's favorite place, but the steak was phenomenal and the sides were even better. She's like, how funny would it be if we ran into them lol. Well fuk me man, because we sit down and we're just talking, getting to know each other, and we're in the middle of eating. I feel a hand on my shoulder and two pats and I'm like fuk because I knew who it was. My ex's dad and mother were standing right there and they were like OMG it's great to see you, how are you, hows the job, your parents, siblings, etc. Then they look over at the girl I took here and they say hello. I have to mention that my ex is married now before this part. They go to her and the dad goes "this boy is pretty special man, love him like my own son, this is the guy my daughter should have married" and the mom was like "he's a keeper, don't let this one get away like ours did". I laugh and I'm like a million miles a minute at this point and they leave. The girl then looks at me and was super uncomfortable about the whole thing.

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07-24-2020, 09:57 AM

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#21

elterrible987
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Originally Posted By ispy⏩

-so i have to do presentation for class
-awkward as ****
-start working out
-not so awkward
-zyzz is my inspiration
-presentation again
-trembling
-just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-get confident
-my turn
-i get up there
-start shaking uncontrollably
-start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-teacher says I can start anytime
-I start off with "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-at this point I'm so nervous I blackout
-"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"
-repeat at least 4 more times
-look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"
-girls start laughing
-I pass out
-hit head on the corner of teacher's desk
-minor concussion
-teacher thinks I was on drugs
-classmates call my zeezprah
-nickname eventually turns into zebra
-i haven't heard my real name in months
-haven't been this depressed since high school

Some kid in highschool spaced out in his presentation and was on the brink of fainting before his presentation partner recognized what was happening and got him to sit down. Was the worse I ever seen for presentation flops. I just tell myself no matter how bad I do its never been that bad.

07-24-2020, 09:59 AM

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#22

TBO1313
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LMFAO at taking off through the hedges. When you have to act like an autist to avoid people you know it's time to take control of your diet and start a hard cut my man. Every time you get hungry just think of that shameful moment and push through

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07-24-2020, 10:10 AM

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#23

demfeelsbro
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Originally Posted By Scottybby⏩

damn, so this is what I looked like to them

07-24-2020, 10:42 AM

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#24

Zackad
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Originally Posted By backinthegymbro⏩

Pretty sure eyesight works within 25 meters. Instead of thinking you're a fat kunt, now they think you're an autistic fat kunt.

It doesn't matter though. Whether your ex thinks highly of you or think you're scum. Whether she wants you back or whether she's riding the dink carousel or getting married. All of that is completely irrelevant.

The only thing that matters is that you live the best life you can live.
Stop worrying about the opinions of those who not matter. It will not change your life.

this lmao

now they're gonna run home to tell her they saw her ex jump into a bush to avoid them and all LMAO together

"So t

07-24-2020, 10:48 AM

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#25

demfeelsbro
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Originally Posted By Zackad⏩

this lmao

now they're gonna run home to tell her they saw her ex jump into a bush to avoid them and all LMAO together

Or they may say they saw OP showing total disregard for man-made paths and go off-trail like a true alpha beefcake! In fact, i'm expecting a 'hey stranger' text any minute.