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Anyone ever experience “dad shaming”?
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07-25-2020, 07:23 AM
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#1
- Harry362
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- Harry362
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Anyone ever experience “dad shaming”?
Wife and I had our first kid 10 days ago. Mother in law has been helping out at our house so I used that as opportunity to get a couple things done that needed to be done. Lawn grows fast right now, had letter from HOA about weeds in driveway, so I took care of it.
I’m back at work now and when I come home I just knock out 40 min workout, 20 min rower 20 kB swing to try to maintain. Wife giving me a hard time saying I’ve been sleeping through the night and she hasn’t. I told her when she starts pumping im more than happy to do bottles at night and take turns. She also got on me about playing video games for like 2 hours in last 10 days.
I told her when I’m off my 4 days her mom can go go home and we need to bond together it’s been 10 days. When I do my work days she is free to come back to help if she wants. Getting dad shamed, got pretty pissed off last night and I have a bad temper. I know her hormones are raging but I told her that’s no excuse
I’m back at work now and when I come home I just knock out 40 min workout, 20 min rower 20 kB swing to try to maintain. Wife giving me a hard time saying I’ve been sleeping through the night and she hasn’t. I told her when she starts pumping im more than happy to do bottles at night and take turns. She also got on me about playing video games for like 2 hours in last 10 days.
I told her when I’m off my 4 days her mom can go go home and we need to bond together it’s been 10 days. When I do my work days she is free to come back to help if she wants. Getting dad shamed, got pretty pissed off last night and I have a bad temper. I know her hormones are raging but I told her that’s no excuse
07-25-2020, 07:26 AM
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#2
- blissful88
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- blissful88
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Get the mother in-law out of the picture immediately, geriatric sloots will try and micromanage your entire relationship especially as parents
Contemporary women complain way too much about being a mother, tell her to nut up for the first 6 months
You're 1.5 steps away from becoming the beta of your home
Contemporary women complain way too much about being a mother, tell her to nut up for the first 6 months
You're 1.5 steps away from becoming the beta of your home
*Tolerance is the lube that slides the dildo of dysfunction into the ass of civilized society*
*We didn't deserve snailsrus*
As always: not medical advice but medical opinion crew
07-25-2020, 07:29 AM
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#3
- Harry362
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- Harry362
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Originally Posted By blissful88⏩
I already told her she needs to go. We do work long hours, wife will go back to work doing 8am-10pm on workdays while I do 8am-9pm plus I have some clinicals this Fall. In that time I’ll probably need helpGet the mother in-law out of the picture immediately, geriatric sloots will try and micromanage your entire relationship especially as parents
You're 1.5 steps away from becoming the beta of your home
You're 1.5 steps away from becoming the beta of your home
07-25-2020, 07:30 AM
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#4
- SoutheastBeast1
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Sounds like you married a bitch. Gonna be a long road ahead now, lol
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
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07-25-2020, 07:32 AM
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#5
- hoganrulz
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- hoganrulz
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You're supposed to get your mom in the picture, not hers. Hers is always only the last resort.
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07-25-2020, 07:37 AM
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#6
- Harry362
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- Harry362
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
The baby is 10 days old, how do you take that for a run? I get home, hold the baby, burp them, change them, bathe them, do chores,In what way are you being a dad ?
Baby wakes up in the night, go get him and pass him to your wife to feed
Get home from work, go see your baby and take him out for a run to give your wife a break
Step up man and be a parent
Not surprised you’re feeling shame
Baby wakes up in the night, go get him and pass him to your wife to feed
Get home from work, go see your baby and take him out for a run to give your wife a break
Step up man and be a parent
Not surprised you’re feeling shame
Fuk off bitch
07-25-2020, 07:38 AM
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#7
- Miked1978
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- Miked1978
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Not trying to stick up for your wife but when we had our child the first month was a living hell. No sleep and didn’t have time to do chit. I guess you are getting a full night sleep since she is breast feeding? If she isn’t getting a lot of sleep every night and you are then there is nothing you can do that will please her and that would be vice versa if the tables were turned. Getting up at all hours of the night every single night will wreck havoc on your nerves.
Not sure how you have time/energy to workout or game. I felt like I was a walking zombie that first month.
Not sure how you have time/energy to workout or game. I felt like I was a walking zombie that first month.
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07-25-2020, 07:41 AM
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#8
- turdburglar9021
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- turdburglar9021
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You won't experience "dad shaming" with more effort. Do more now and your wife will talk about how good you were with the baby forever.
Most men are hands off with newborns and women will become bitter about it. If you crush it now she will see you as one of the most desirable men on the planet. Not to mention babies benefit from being comforted by both parents.
Most men are hands off with newborns and women will become bitter about it. If you crush it now she will see you as one of the most desirable men on the planet. Not to mention babies benefit from being comforted by both parents.
07-25-2020, 07:48 AM
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#9
- Harry362
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- Harry362
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Originally Posted By Miked1978⏩
I played some games with the baby on the lap pillow passed outNot trying to stick up for your wife but when we had our child the first month was a living hell. No sleep and didn’t have time to do chit. I guess you are getting a full night sleep since she is breast feeding? If she isn’t getting a lot of sleep every night and you are then there is nothing you can do that will please her and that would be vice versa if the tables were turned. Getting up at all hours of the night every single night will wreck havoc on your nerves.
Not sure how you have time/energy to workout or game. I felt like I was a walking zombie that first month.
Not sure how you have time/energy to workout or game. I felt like I was a walking zombie that first month.
07-25-2020, 07:53 AM
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#10
- PisseninMisc
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- PisseninMisc
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The way to prevent this was not to get married and wear a bag on your tiny wee wee. That ship has sailed. Enjoy the rest of your sentence for life brah.
Jokes aside, you signed up to take care of a kid, do your fuking part so your kids don't end up like half the emotionally damaged retards I deal with daily. Set rules with the mother in law of course, but the kid comes first.
Jokes aside, you signed up to take care of a kid, do your fuking part so your kids don't end up like half the emotionally damaged retards I deal with daily. Set rules with the mother in law of course, but the kid comes first.
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07-25-2020, 08:03 AM
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#11
- SwagMorris
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Not sure why you would ask this on this forum. Only a few of us are fathers. The rest are FA betas that think all women are whores and unworthy of their pathetic semen.
But to answer your question, no, didn’t deal with that at all. My MIL stayed with us for a few weeks and that got a little annoying, but my wife was a trooper the whole time. She was absolutely exhausted like I’ve never seen anyone in my life, but has been 100% dedicated without complaint to taking care of our kids. She balanced 50-60 hour work weeks, lifting 5 days a week and waking through the night to feed the baby.
I just took over cleaning the house, watching the kids while she was at work in the evenings and still worked my job. I just cut back my work hours from 40 to 30. She quit her job of 17 years recently and works a part time job now for extra spending money.
But to answer your question, no, didn’t deal with that at all. My MIL stayed with us for a few weeks and that got a little annoying, but my wife was a trooper the whole time. She was absolutely exhausted like I’ve never seen anyone in my life, but has been 100% dedicated without complaint to taking care of our kids. She balanced 50-60 hour work weeks, lifting 5 days a week and waking through the night to feed the baby.
I just took over cleaning the house, watching the kids while she was at work in the evenings and still worked my job. I just cut back my work hours from 40 to 30. She quit her job of 17 years recently and works a part time job now for extra spending money.
07-25-2020, 08:03 AM
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#12
07-25-2020, 08:04 AM
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#13
- Harry362
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- Harry362
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Originally Posted By PisseninMisc⏩
The thing is I have been doing my part. Mother in law is going tomorrow night when I get home from work. I don’t put up with much and have been patient I think 12 days of help is more than enoughThe way to prevent this was not to get married and wear a bag on your tiny wee wee. That ship has sailed. Enjoy the rest of your sentence for life brah.
Jokes aside, you signed up to take care of a kid, do your fuking part so your kids don't end up like half the emotionally damaged retards I deal with daily. Set rules with the mother in law of course, but the kid comes first.
Jokes aside, you signed up to take care of a kid, do your fuking part so your kids don't end up like half the emotionally damaged retards I deal with daily. Set rules with the mother in law of course, but the kid comes first.
07-25-2020, 08:05 AM
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#14
- WoofieNugget
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New kids are super stressful and nobody sleeps. Everyone is short tempered and irritable. I was having panic attacks after ten days with my first and strongly doubting things. Totally normal.
If you can afford it, hire things like a maid to clean house once a week, order in ready made meals, etc. Take the pressure off the day to day crap especially so your wife doesn't feel overwhelmed. And yes, you need to step up a bit. Give her breaks frequently when you can. Newborns should also be sleeping 16-18 hours a day, if yours isn't then it isn't sleeping enough. Best book I ever read was Happiest Baby on the Block because it gave a tip to make your kid fall asleep in seconds and was a lifesaver. Then bang out a nap or tell your wife to while you make sure the kid doesn't die.
And yes, everyone thinks guys are useless as parents. I'd take my kids out all the time and people would make comments about me giving my wife a break. I'm like bite me, I'm parenting dumbass.
Second kid is SO much easier.
If you can afford it, hire things like a maid to clean house once a week, order in ready made meals, etc. Take the pressure off the day to day crap especially so your wife doesn't feel overwhelmed. And yes, you need to step up a bit. Give her breaks frequently when you can. Newborns should also be sleeping 16-18 hours a day, if yours isn't then it isn't sleeping enough. Best book I ever read was Happiest Baby on the Block because it gave a tip to make your kid fall asleep in seconds and was a lifesaver. Then bang out a nap or tell your wife to while you make sure the kid doesn't die.
And yes, everyone thinks guys are useless as parents. I'd take my kids out all the time and people would make comments about me giving my wife a break. I'm like bite me, I'm parenting dumbass.
Second kid is SO much easier.
07-25-2020, 08:06 AM
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#15
- Harry362
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- Harry362
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Originally Posted By SwagMorris⏩
I can’t cut my hours. It’s 56 hours a week no questions asked. I did stop picking up extra work. Ok so your MIL stayed a few weeks that’s about my maxNot sure why you would ask this on this forum. Only a few of us are fathers. The rest are FA betas that think all women are whores and unworthy of their pathetic semen.
But to answer your question, no, didn’t deal with that at all. My MIL stayed with us for a few weeks and that got a little annoying, but my wife was a trooper the whole time. She was absolutely exhausted like I’ve never seen anyone in my life, but has been 100% dedicated without complaint to taking care of our kids. She balanced 50-60 hour work weeks, lifting 5 days a week and waking through the night to feed the baby.
I just took over cleaning the house, watching the kids while she was at work in the evenings and still worked my job. I just cut back my work hours from 40 to 30. She quit her job of 17 years recently and works a part time job now for extra spending money.
But to answer your question, no, didn’t deal with that at all. My MIL stayed with us for a few weeks and that got a little annoying, but my wife was a trooper the whole time. She was absolutely exhausted like I’ve never seen anyone in my life, but has been 100% dedicated without complaint to taking care of our kids. She balanced 50-60 hour work weeks, lifting 5 days a week and waking through the night to feed the baby.
I just took over cleaning the house, watching the kids while she was at work in the evenings and still worked my job. I just cut back my work hours from 40 to 30. She quit her job of 17 years recently and works a part time job now for extra spending money.
07-25-2020, 08:29 AM
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#16
- Harry362
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- Harry362
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Originally Posted By bov188⏩
She has a FB but isnt on it very much. Definitely doesnt have tiktok or gram lolNext time she brings up your video game use open the screen time app on her phone to see how much time per day she is wasting on Instagram/********/TikTok
07-25-2020, 08:36 AM
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#17
- SwagMorris
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- SwagMorris
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Originally Posted By Harry362⏩
Yeah. Wish my FIL could have come out instead. He could move in with us permanently and I’d be cool with it. My MIL, not so much.I can’t cut my hours. It’s 56 hours a week no questions asked. I did stop picking up extra work. Ok so your MIL stayed a few weeks that’s about my max
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