Some background:

My old man was a paramedic for FDNY for 20 years (81-01), he only retired 9 months earlier from when 9/11 happened and was across the river in Bayonne as a nurse when it happened. He had 2 prior partners at ground zero when the towers came down. The one who he was partnered with the longest (10 years together) got lucky and survived by jumping under a firetruck as the towers came down. His other partner of 5 years, the one who he trained and left when he retired, was inside of the 2nd tower when it collapsed and did not make it. My dad being across the river, seeing this, runs home and gears back up to go down there. He calls his old dispatch and gets authorized to go through the tunnel to get in. At this point his old partner was able to get ahold of him and told him to wait a day before coming in that any survivors would be getting ferried across the river and that everyone else is simply looking for remains. At this point my dad made the decision to go back to Bayonne and treat anyone that was able to make it. Turns out he helped a lot of survivors that day and that after everything calmed down that it was the right thing to do. He never made it into the city to help with the cleanup. Fast forward to today, the old man moved to AZ a couple of years ago, he beat prostate cancer and decided to retire. However he would always fly in and visit his old partner who survived and also go pay respect to his old partner's family. A few months ago his old partner passed away, lung related cancer, probably from being down at the clean up for months on end. He was obviously sad about it but hes pushing 70 so he understands these things.

We talk every day on the phone and today I could tell he was off. I asked him whats up and he kinda just fell off a cliff. He told me how he missed his old FDNY buddies, how he feels like he failed his partner that died in 9/11, how he feels like he failed his other partner by not helping with the clean up, he feels guilty on not being able to go to the memorial this year nor see his old partners family. He told me its hard for him most 9/11's but this year he told me it hit him like a ton of bricks, he cant even look at ******** or a TV without breaking down. I did my best to try to steer his mind into a better direction but at the same time I think he needed to vent/share. Feels good that I can be there for my father but damn did it take a toll on me too, I sometimes forget he had a whole nother life before I came around. Now that I have a bit more perspective I have to give him even more credit for being strong all those years growing up with these things on his mind.

Real talk, I went to prison for the last five and big homie had a lot of health problems and a pet died, my ***** cries now and it's sad af, repped

Sounds like your old man is having it rough, do something nice for him

Shameless bump

Deep man, sometimes we forget we’re not invincible

Yup that's life. Sometimes the toughest people you know carry the most emotional thoughts and baggage. Your dad sounds like a good guy OP and you should be proud of him. Remind him from time to time that he's a good man and you respect him a lot.

Not everyone goes through something like that.

Yeah its humbling alrightBest guy I know. Thanks, Im going to text him now and remind him how much he means to me.

gonna go call my dad OP thanks for reminding me

Glad I could help