Long time lurker here. I need support and advice, so hope brahs will find some time to read and comment. Me and my ex broke up, we ended our 6 years relationship, almost 4 weeks ago.
She was nice girl, from different country, we met working abroad, overall she was needy and clingy, super nice girl, only one ex before me, and
I kinda liked it, rather than having to deal with sloth, so I was mostly nice to her as well.
Just usual drama sometimes, but never really crossed the line with her.
I wasn't sexually attracted to her, whatsoever, after like 3 years into rs. I literary had to watch porn to have sex with her, or force myself psychologically, or play
tricks in my mind, so I could get hard once in a blue moon, for last year.
Knowing dating situation, I accepted Ill marry her, cause everything else with her was more than ok,
beside I wasnt attracted to her that much, if that makes sense. I though I can get some poosay on the side eventually, and I had enough of that already, so I was kinda meh about the problem whatever, ill think about it another day... I always wanted gf who will love me more than I love her, secretly, might be strange, but thats what I was looking for. Good enough, but not someone Illl fall far too hard, not to get hurt probably, and to be 100% confident around with.
We suppose to get married in next couple of months, than out of blue sky,
she broke up with me 4 weeks ago. Saying she cant tolerate me anymore, and my bad behavior. She literary put
every single little thing I did on my nose, like years ago, which made me suspicious tbh. Like txt message Ive sent once when I was pissed, she screenshoted,
but just days before that we were completely fine, talking every day, I was kinda sweet guy in texting, so she said im only nice cause we are not together atm (she works abroad),
and so much stuff. It was big surprise cause she was all over me, we picked our car just 2 months ago, made plans about baby, and stuff.
I realized how comfortable I was to have her by my side only when she broke up, its not that I even loved her as much, but damn I know how ****ty dating scene is,
and trying to find good girl again. Than again, every gf I had, was best I though at that time, so im not sure if my mind is playing tricks on me or what.
For sure Ill be alone for a while now, and god knows if Ill meet good enough girl again, but what can I do...
I do feel bad about break up, cause it messed up my all plans I had, I even missed her, its big habit of 6 years that suddenly gone,
so I even tried apologizing and asking us to be together, as Ill change (i know I wouldnt change,
I would be same 2 weeks after, cause it was mostly normal stuff, nothing to serious to break up, but still...),
anyway she was just plain cold to me when I tried to reach. Its like shock, it was unimaginable she can spend more than a day without talking with me,
and now this. I was genuinely afraid for her, firsts days after break up, I though she's suffering and I believed her reasons for break up are genuine,
but turns out she just doesnt feel anything anymore, and dont wanna hear back from me, which made me doubt. Doesnt even care about so many memories,
that she always mentioned just weeks before. I know for a fact she didnt cheat, but Im doubting there are guys hitting on her, almost for sure.
Im 33, its just Ive dated enough girls, and I know its hard to meet someone whos gonna be there for you
in your worst and best, same as what I did for her, so basically I dont know wtf happened here. I also hate that I feel so damn lonely without her,
she was my best friend. She says I was selfish, thinking about myself,
which is kinda of true, but as well normal in long relationships, you cant have romance like for first year, and I doubt that's the reason why she broke up.
I dunno, I kinda need your advice and comfort. She did start going out more than usual, but damn, I could let that girl go with 20 guys, and she would call me to check where I am and what Im doing without looking at single one of them.
I was relieved in a way, cause of break up, cause I wasn't 100% sure about marriage, thats the truth, cause I always had that question in back of my head, im not sexually attracted, and if Im ready to get married, but everything else was just as I ever imagined in girl.
I would say I was better looking, but that doesn't matter. Loneliness and not having someone to support me and comfort me is biggest part I miss,
I could literary talk about anything with her, and she would support me and give me comfort. Im kinda weak sometimes, so I got hooked on that.
Sex with her was 0, but she was kinda my best friend. Sorry about long post..Just wanted to rant. Hope someone can give some word of advice, comfort that'll make me feel better,
cause my mood change, sometimes I start feeling ok, but than sometimes I feel like im all alone in world, and miss comfort and friendship. Tonight is ****tiest of all, so yea. I believe in misc

cliffs?

Strong first post

Try bears

Your mind is playing tricks on you. I know it's hard to see in the moment, but all these excuses you are coming up with aren't real. The fact that you weren't even slightly sexually attracted to her means it was time for it to end. Be glad it's over, you're 33 and will be good to go in a few months. Try to be as social as you can and it will make things easier. God speed.

I read most of that. The thing that stood out the most was how you say you weren't even attracted to her physically and didn't want to have sex with her. I'm quite sure she noticed this over the past 6 years and she did the right thing breaking up with you. Don't stay with someone that you have no interest in sexually. That's not fair to you or her.

I literally only skimmed because damn bro that s a novel BUT here is some solid advice:

A hard breakup are some of the most defining moments in mens lives. It brings out a raw primal pain that takes over your entire life. I think I could only compare losing a close loved one to the same type of haze it puts you in. Understand that your brain is in chemical overload right now and things are going to seem flipped outside down for a while. Also understand that the pain is not going to go away for a while, and that's okay its part of the process

You need to use this time to level up your life. All those things you've always wanted to do but couldn't because you were in a relationship, go do them. Meet new people. Improve yourself HARD physically, mentally, and financially. Go hard at work. Hit the gym hard. Meditate and read books to understand yourself better.

All these things + enduring the pain is going to transform you into a person you don't even recognize. I guarantee so many if not all of the guys who you see that are killing it in life, dating, money, body have gone through at least 1 or more seriously painful breakups. What you choose to do in that time is going to define what happens to you after. You can sulk and feel sorry for yourself too, but don't make it a habit or you can get stuck there. For YEARS even if you don't work on improving yourself.

Goodluck brah. I am with you in spirit

Holy wall of text

it doesnt get easier (srs)

What do you expect ? You spend 3 hours typing and 3 minutes fkn her

Not reading all that, she's a nice girl that you were going to marry but didn't want to have sex with? Sounds like she grew a set of balls and ripped the bandaid off because you weren't enough of a man to do the job yourself. Maybe get some self worth and integrity before you embark upon your next relationship.

Thanks bruh, I could almost do anything I wanted while I was with her, nothing much will change in that sense, except marriage which was big deal and made me doubt, so yea I guess Ill be single.
Pursuing poosy is not something I desire, and honestly dont feel like dating slightest now or in next couple of months at least. Ive had lot of ONS and dates before her,
and I know whats there on market, just hope my mind is playing tricks, and Ill meet girl with personality I like, that will love me more than I love her.

We were focused on work mostly, and savings for marriage. I have some savings at least, but duo to covid Im not working atm. I expect Ill get back to work soon as in couple of months max. I guess I could enroll some courses, and that's the plan, and def hit the gym cause I lost motivation for first 2 weeks, but now I feel better.
Hard time ahead, need to stop making excuses and start studying for courses.

Yeah man, I wasnt even sure about marriage, so I was kinda relieved in a way. But still feel like crap sometimes cause of break up, and as that song says
you only miss the sun when it starts to snow. I forgot about feeling loneliness for 6 years, and now its back again, hope itll disappear and ILl be happy on my own soon.

You didn't give her the best of you because you didn't like her enough to.

Don't reach out to her. Let her go.

Work on yourself so you can attain the life you want (whatever that may be) and the type of woman who will complement your life accordingly.

Seriously though just skimming through and from an outsiders perspective. Your 6 year relationship was bad, you just got comfortable with all the bad stuff and didnt look at it that way. Yous was like a functioning alcoholic. You know its bad but you get used to the drinking and dont think about it.

Doesnt that come naturally after like 2-3 years of every rs? I though i was being mature and not shallow, swear to good sex means less the older I get, I though I can live with it,
I might just be broken, but some blurry picture in my mind I had, i can get it like once a week, or in 10 days, at least everything else is fine and I love how she treats me.

My brother married a girl he didn't want to fuk. They are in the process of getting a divorce.

lmao. I love this commercial

Women who genuinely care about their husband value sex from them just as much as most guys from their wives. Want to see a bitchy wife and see her turn everything into a fight? Dont lay the pipe and watch what happens.

Did you hook up with a lot of women before yall got together? I noticed a trend of people who slept around a lot have a hard time sticking to one person even if they genuinely care about them.

Lol this. Head scratcher OP.

You married your best friend?

Ive had sex with around 35 girls total. They say be careful what you wish for, I was late bloomer, so once I was in comfortable spot in life i started having ONS and FWB.
I dont know, I always wanted to do it, might be cause of misc standards affected me as well lol, but made me feel better about my self at times I was doing it, but looking at it from this perspective, it did nothing for me, it might broke me forever. I appreciated sex more before all that for sure. But again,
i was kinda beta, and would fall in love easily, and found sex very intimate unlike now, where I have realistic picture, girls and guys can fuk as easy as shaking hands,
and never feel intimate.

sounds like you used her for your own comfort and you were scared to be alone.
not a reason to stay with someone.

She was really nice to me, loved me, cared about me, and all over me, and I was heart broken cause of cheating before, so yea, I said I would rather have that, than
go trough hell of suffering for years after getting cheated, being alone, and I went trough phase of being in love with her in start, plus I though Im being mature cause whos gonna replace her? She was always flattering me, and Im not gonna lie, I liked it, alltho it gets old with time. I still believe that after 2-3 years into RS you get tired of same poosay, cmon, I cant be only one thinking like that?!

Going to take some time to get outta that mindset if its even possible. I'm still battling it.

Lmfao this,

Also OP u should’ve listened to the misc and did no porn then you would’ve been able to fuk

OP you sound like a douche. Shouldve seen it coming. "Poosay on the side"? Massive mansloot vibes.

You sound needy and a bit feminine because you were relying on her to be your emotional tampon . learn to live with yourself not rely on other people for happiness.

Thanks, finally some quality post. Thanks to most of u guys, made my night little better, blessed you brahs.

Some of you are kinda douchey tho, pretending like you all are in supper happy rs, and perfect world, where nothing is wrong. I genuinely felt down, so post like itll only get worse, or she deserves better doesn't help at the time. Even telling me how uncommon to be in this kind of rs as per many of you didnt help, and I know I wasnt only one in this kind of RS. I loved her as a person, but wasnt sexually attracted. I tried to apologize to her for things she listed as reasons, promised Ill change and suggested to work on fixing things, its 6 years after all, so yea. You need to swallow your pride and ego, which means you care for someone to do that. Anyhow, well said bruh, there was time I was contented alone, so its big change now after 6 years, and I need to work on that again.

Went through two breakups and they both killed me at the time, both took a year to recover.

Catching feels for someone else worked for me to move on.

Filling the void with ONS and chasing tinder sloots did not, but that’s what I did.