are there telltale signs to know that you haven't kissed a girl (on the lips) before?

yeah, if you kiss awkwardly, it's over for you. they'll know your'e a virgin.

first time i kissed a girl i was 22. sad.

and don't fukking jam your tongue in there right at the start.

just practice with a homeless woman first, she will let you do it for a can of cheap malt liquor

its what i did and my ex wife never knew i was a kissless touchless virgin when i met her.

you got to turn your life around boyo, after i started making enough money to move out of my childhood bedroom at 28, I was like chit I really need to get it together. Came up with a plan to fool sloots into thinking I was "normal"

parties - sneak into the keggers around college, yeah you stick out like a sore thumb but just observe and dont get drunk. I tried to get drunk and hit on some sloots once and all the chads pushed me off a balcony and i hurt my ankle. You really just want to see how people behave incase you ever get invited to one.

friends - whenever you read someone online or someone from your WOW guild told you something cool, get used to rephrasing it starting off "my buddy said...." Find some photos of people doing cool things and either photoshop it yourself or pay someone on fiver to do put you in the pictures.

travel - sloots love to travel so just feed them made up stories like you traveled. I told them i went snow boarding and showed them pics, best part is everyone is wearing ski masks so i just pointed and said some guy was me, no photoshop even needed.

sex - start off using a homemade fleshlight, google how to make them, to build up your stamina. I also went to truck stops to let gay men suck me off in the dark (didnt see their face so not actually gay) and build up my stamina so I dont climax too fast. Also put a hole in your pillow with your fleshlight in there and pump that, its almost like the real thing so its different then jacking off.

text game - i found this guy who looked pretty cool at my gym, he was there with a few different girls so I paid him to run text game for me until some girl agreed to meet me with my fake pics. He came by my house too and watched me work my pillow fleshlight and gave me pointers to look more experienced.

family - if you are estranged from your family, youre going to need to tell the girl they moved to a different country. during holidays tell her that your father has visa problems for political reasons and cant get in the US. Reuse this excuse when it comes time for the wedding

wedding - the best thing to do here is do a vegas wedding if you can get away with it. otherwise I had to hire some guys at the gym that were "normal enough" to be my groomsmen


I was amazing, I finally had a woman and was "normal" but then she met some guy at work, she kept the house and I had to move back in to my childhood bedroom, I cant afford anything else with alimony and child support but atleast coworkers dont ask me about my love life anymore they just assume Im "out there playing the field" and stay things like "man to be young and a free man again". I have pictures of my child on my cubicle so they know I fuked before and treat me pretty normal.

Just gently part the lips using your middle and index finger and use lots of tongue

Don’t comment on any smells and don’t ask about whether she has recently dilated

^^^the above all assumes post-op which now that I think about it is probably presumptuous on my part

Practice on your pillow

Sloots have been practicing kissing with their friends by the age 13 and by 14 they’re experts. If you ain’t a confident smoocher by 21 it’s already over

you grab her ass and tell her to fart