I am overall smart guy but i am overly attached to my parents, say something is happening between them like arguing, it disrupts my whole day. we live in the same building, i have my own place but i spend more time in their apartment. I have my own goals in life but feels like i will never reach those goals because of my parents, My mother is overly negative since her mother died and sometimes is manipulative. Kinda toxic environment, thing is when i try to stay at my place, my brain wonders what are they doing, i hate myself being like this, wish i didn't give a phuck about no one and focus only on myself and maybe i would accomplish something in my life ..

Why spend so much time in their apartment if you have your own?

I wouldn’t want to be so close.

Move away and start your own family

As i said, i am so attached that when i am in my own place, i think about them, sometimes i go eat at their place, but i do spend very much time, sometimes i tell myself that i need to spend time with them because one day they wont be herelmao, that was my mother advice, she knows that i am obsessed with them and told me to start my own family, so i can care only about my own things. i am too young to have kids, don't feel ready at all, i think that will be my last card.

move like minimum an hour away.


Close enough to visit but enough distance to keep your sanity.

I'd move out of the apartment complex. Stay nearby, but get far enough away where you can't just climb a few steps and join them for dinner.

I actually wouldn't mind living right next to my parents, but for someone like you and your situation, I'd get a little space. As much as I think family is important, and I want a good healthy family relationship, you need to take some time to become a man. In your situation I think a little more space will keep you away more.

You have to realize that they are grown adults. Yes they are your parents but give them space too. They need alone time whether it be to fight, make things up, or just deal with their problems between each other.

And as others have said, find someone and settle down. Start your own family. That's my next goal after I buy a house here soon and switch careers.

you ever hear them bang?

My house is 30 mins from my parents house. I feel like this is a good buffer. I do not allow unannounced visitors. If I want to see them, I go there. Chances are, you probably won’t want to drive 30 mins for something stupid you could just make a phone call about. When I lived 5 mins away, I was there everyday pretty much.

these lockdowns messed everything so for now i need to stay here for minimum one year whether i like it or not, i think moving out would be very good for my own sanity.. and we got same goals brother, once i get a house and stable job i will settle down. what else is in this life ?

i am thinking also getting some therapy maybe i will care more about myself. funny thing i don't give a phuck about no one except my parents huh.

Additionally, move somewhere more suited to your social interests than their place. It sounds like you live in a worse version of their home in the same building. Of course you will go there.

In a better city for someone in your position, you would spread out elsewhere.

Yea I feel you. I was going to buy a place this year, but covid fukked everything. So now I am waiting to buy a place once the market makes sense. Hopefully spring time. At least I can save more and open up my options either way.

But yea imo that's the goal in life. Get a good family unit going, a bunch of kids to raise into legends, and create an awesome environment for the fam and crush at life.

If you think therapy will help, do it. Sometimes you need someone to plant the right seeds for you to change perspective on your life.