Every Thanksgiving people around the table say a few things/people they are grateful for. When I say something it does not feel genuine. I also have trouble saying the words “I love you” to my parents...

What is the best way to truly share my gratitude, especially when I have a hard time meaning it?

I want to say I am thankful for my parents, but it’s hard when I have resentment for personal things they have done in the past.

What’re some actions I can take today to resolve the resentment within myself and say out loud I appreciate them?

Tie a rubber band around your scrotum real tight and leave it there for a few days.

When your balls swell up and turn blue, remember that pain as you remove the rubber band and think to yourself how much better you have it now.

Holy ****... Great idea.... repped! Srs

Gratitude means 'mogging'. People just want to use a positive word.

One of the primary reasons to intentionally express gratitude is to counteract the negativity bias.

This is the natural human tendency to focus on the negative aspects of life, and overlook the positive ones.

This trait can be beneficial in that when we are constantly focusing on things that get in our way, we can anticipate them and prevent them from happening again in the future.

The negative side of this is that having this mindset that nothing good ever happens, can lead to significant mental, emotional, and even physiological down sides. Things like high blood pressure, depression/anxiety, decreased cognitive abilities like memory, degraded sleep patterns, and so on. Then all of these become their own issues, propagating even further anxiety/depressing and fueling the negativity bias.

I think the best way to begin to change this destructive pattern, is to keep a journal. Everyday write down three positive things that happened to you. They don’t have to be significant (promotion, getting engaged, etc). Just positive (someone let me in front of them in traffic, a cute girl smiled at me). The point is just to help yourself realize good things do happen on a regular basis.

As you are reflecting on it in your journal, go into detail about why you perceive it to be a good thing thing, what can come from it, how to recreate it in the future and so on.

At first it will seem like a chore, but after a while, it will become habit and you will even start doing it in the moment.

I strongly advocate practicing this with your friends and loved ones. It can contribute to deep and meaningful conversation, it will help you, and those you engage with overcome the negativity bias.

Going even further, you will realize that you are not just thankful for the good things that happen. You will be thankful for almost literally everything that happens. Things we “take for granted”...

Hey, the hot water heater worked today and I was able to take a shower. I didn’t even notice it, but if it was broken, it would have ruined my whole day.

My car started today. When I started it, I didn’t even think twice about it. If it didn’t start, it really would have ruined my whole day.

The chair I’m sitting in right now holds me up. I never even think about it. If it were to break under me, I sure would have dwelled on that for a while.

Positivity is all around us. We have so many reasons to be grateful. We just have to focus on them.

The best part about this, for me at least, is sharing it with other people. I am grateful for the opportunity to contribute to others well being, and increased standard of living. (If only to a small degree).

^ I like all of that. Tbh I do express gratitude for the car I just bought recently. It’s used but has been working 99% of the time since purchase. I do find myself being relieved every time it starts up without fail.

For the purposes of expressing gratitude to your family today, I would contemplate the things you have in your life because of their contributions.

Maybe review your digital photo albums of you guys sharing enjoyable experiences together. Take a couple quite moments to yourself, and practice “loving kindness” to them. Empathize with them as humans, acknowledge and accept their roles in your life.

You don’t have to overlook the arguments or disagreements to do this. All of these concepts can exist despite times of turbulence in the relationships.

Then, when you sincerely feel gratitude for them, directly express it to them.

To make it more personal and sincere, I advocate doing it with them alone. It shouldn’t be a spectacle or for any other purpose than you expressing gratitude. It isn’t about you.

I bet you will feel so good when you look your loved ones in the face, human to human, and show appreciation.

Imagine how you would feel if your loved ones did that to you. You can give them that gift. And it is free.