What the fukk, where did she get this sh... oh, uh.. Hello there! Uh heh, didn't see you there. I thought it was just me here, wasn't expecting any company. I am not sure how you got here or what you're doing here, but anything you've come to see... well... any semblance of it is gone.
Notice how it doesn't feel much like Christmas time this year? Not much of a season at all. Sit with me for a while, and I will try to explain how things got this way... I will tell you the tale of

CHRISTMAS IN CROOKLYN

Chapter 1:

Brooklyn, November 30, 2019



"All right kids, I have to head to work. I hope you each make the most out of this day, and keep those marks up. You know how it important it is. Ricky and Shalika, make sure to watch out for each other, Little Shante, Grandpa will take you to school and your lunch is all packed. I may get home after you're sleeping tonight, but I'll make sure to come and check on you when I get home."

"Dad, why you have to work two jobs and never be here after school? We barely see you anymore." Shalika had a half cute, half angry tone about her.

"Babygirl, you know I wish I could spend all day with you kids, but we can hardly afford rent and to keep the lights on... it's hard out there. But things will get better - I'll get a good job when things pick up... just like the old days. Now... you all know I love you very much."

"Love you too Dad" the kids said in unison.
Dad left for work and a few minutes later the kids were downstairs and ready to head to school.



"Oh you precious things!" Grammama said as the kids came down the stairs. "Y'all heave a great day at school. Ricky you look after Shalika like a good brother, or lorrrrd knows I'll give you an earful! And Shante, you mind your teachers... remember, Santa is watching! Now ya'll have a good day, Shanice and I will be waiting to see you after school"

"Love you Grammama" the trio said in a dismissive yet endearing fashion.



So Grandaddy took Shante off to the elementary school, and Ricky and Shalika headed to their middle school. It wasn't a terribly far trek for Ricky and Shalika, but trouble seemed to loom often enough. Ricky had been jumped a few times on this walk, and Shalika pushed up on by heinous, unhygenic men on multiple occasions. This brisk morning was going pretty fine until...

"Yo Ricky!"



It was Low-Q.
"Ignore him, Ricky" Shalika whispered.
"Yea cmon let's just keep moving" Ricky whispered back.

"Yo Ricky! I know you hear me you fukkin tampon... get the fukk over here. Or you want me to entertain that lil sista of yours?"

"Just keep going Shalika. I'll catch up to you. I better just get this over with."
"No Ricky, we have to stick.."
"Just go! Get to school, I'll handle this and catch up to you, now go." Shalika nervously kept walking, knowing sticking around would be worse. She started to sob as she walked on at a muddled pace.

"What you want Low-Q?" Ricky asked.
"Shut the fukk up bum. Now listen up, I need a young smart head like you to help me out. You wanna make some bread dont ya?"
"Nah man, I'm good, I'll get a job after school is out for the summer. Thanks tho." Ricky turned to walk away.
"I aint done with you sucka. I need you to push a lil sumpin sumpin for me, aight? And you really aint got a choice... no one says no to LOW-Q!" (Low-Q loved to yell his own name out). "Besides kid, I know your family broke as fidduck, 8 of y'all in that two bedroom shthole. Wouldn't you say something like this could help out a lil?"





Ricky tried to play it cool, but he never saw that much cash before. He knew he didn't have a choice, Low-Q would certainly fukk his world up if he didn't roll with this, but he couldn't get his Dad and Grammama's voices out of his head. Reluctantly, Ricky agreed to put in the work for Low-Q. "Aight man, just lemme know the dill."
After Low-Q splained the dizzle, Ricky started to walk away.
"Get the fukk back over here... you forgot sumthin"





Though scared shtless by the gun, Ricky knew better than to show it. He took the gun, tucked it away, and headed off to school.

December 14, 2019

Two weeks later and Ricky had taken in some serious cashflow. It was easy work, frankly, and he barely had any interactions with anyone - the gig was smooth sailing. He knew he was moving something that was wrong, but the money... shttttt... he was making way more than his parents were.



"Ricky, close that dang refridgerator door, the hell is wrong with you? Like we can pay the damn lectric bill as it is"

"Sht mama, I told you I will cover the electric bill th.."
"What did you just say young man?! I will not have you talking like gutter-trash in this house, NUH-UH! And I'm glad you got a job at the bodega but you damn sure ain't puttin in enough hours to cover no damn lectric bill."

"I'm sorry mama, it was a long day. But I am getting paid well, Mr. Harris said I am making a big difference at the store and gave me a little bonus."


Later that day...


Grammama was doing laundry for the children when she noticed Ricky's drawer wasn't shutting all the way. She pulled it out to see if she could get it back on the track, and when she pulled it out...





"Oh no... Oh no... Oh no... Not my Ricky! Heart pounding she picked up the cash. She reached around inside the dresser to make sure there was no more in there and she knocked something heavier out.

*THUD*





"Oh Heavens! Where did we go wrong? Oh Jesus, oh baby Jesus" - she thought she was about to have the big one.

She went downstairs and pulled Ricky into the kitchen to be alone.





"Boyyyy I should take the wooden spoon to you... what is wrong with you!?"
"Grammama what's wrong? What did I do?"
"Oh sonny..."

And with threats of telling his folks on him and promises not to, Grammama got the truth out of Ricky.

The next morning Grammama went down the block to see Billy the Bully. Billy the Bully was somewhat of the local kingpin; and while Grammama had no respeck for the man or his hustle, she did know that he would not want to hear that Low-Q was recruiting the neighborhood youth for his nonsense.

She got to Billy's clubhouse and was met by his right hand man, Morgan.



"What is I can do for you, old lady?"
"I need to see Billy... Billy the Bully."
"Billy don't want no dusty pussy. Sht, you so old you know what your pussy smells like? Depends."
"Ugh! Such filth! If m husband was 50 years younger I'd have him come down here and kick your ass!"
"Go home you old bitch"
"Listen scuzzbucket, tell Billy I have to speak to him about Low-Q. You wouldn't want to be the one responsible for Billy not knowing what's happening around his own turf, would you?"

Morgan's whole demeanor changed the moment he heard Low-Q's name. "Stay here." Morgan stepped into the clubhouse.



"Ayo Bill, some ol' trashbag outside talkin bout Low-Q - she on that angry ol' lady time."

"Hm... Aight."





"Wutchu want lady, you crazy comin here talkin bout that dumb ass bitch Low-IQ?"

Grammama filled Billy the Bully in on Low-Q, Ricky, the cash, and the gun. Billy the Bully was seeing red.

"There's fukkin rules to this sht. Ight lady, tell yo lil bastid he best not be out here hustlin no mo, and you tell him that came from me. Yo Morgan, round up some heads, we gonna take a lil stroll to Jon Jons.

Jon Jons was the local watering hole, owned and tended by Jon Jon. It was considered a neutral zone - you wanted to fight, you go outside. No one fukked with Jon Jon.





Sho nuff, Low-Q and some of his homies were there gettin they drank on. As soon as Billy walked in, there was immediate tension in the air, but all kept cool and kept gettin they buzz going.

"Yo Jon Jon... put that TV on.. that fool about to speak.. wanna see what him says" a very drunk Duty said.

"Cmon Duty... no one wanna see dis bullsht"

"Cmon mannn, you know what time it is cuz... put it on"





Jon Jon had learned over the years when it was time to punk a drunk, and when it was time to just let them have their moment. "Aight Duty." Jon Jon turned on the TV so Duty could watch the President's address.





"And we're going to have a Christmas Tree. It's going to be an amazing Christmas tree. We're going to have the biggest Christmas tree of all time. And the Jews are going to pay for it."

Jon Jon clicked the TV off. "OK Duty, we all had what we could take. Take yo stank ass home if you want to keep watchin"

Jon Jon was relieved to see Billy walk over, as that sent Duty scrambling away.





"What's good Billy?"

"Ayyyy what it do Jon Jon." They caught up for a minute and then Billy cut to it. "I rarely ask you for favors, but I need you to arrange for me and Low-Q to have a chat in here after you close. This the kind of talk that ends bloody on the street, na mean?"

"C'mon Billy, you know I don't wanna be in the middle of that sht, or have this place gettin' some rep where gangstas work out their sht"

"This is about a kid man, I'm callin in a favor."

"Ight Billy - don't make this a mothafukkin habit doe"

Jon Jon told Low-Q the deal and and it was agreed the two men would meet alone, in the bar at 3 AM, moderated by Jon Jon to ensure the peace was kept.

3 AM that night




"The fukk you got me out here at 3 in the mornin you crusty bitch? We ain't got no beef and I been kept my sht on my side of the tracks boyo"

"Yea? You got your 7th graders stayin on yo side of the tracks too? Bitch I am the King of Brooklyn so I don't give a fukk about your tracks... I let you slang yo sht cuz I feel bad for yo corny ass. I find out that after tonight you have another kid do another damn thing for you, I will wipe your whole sht off this borough. If I so much as find out you get your shoes shined by a kid and you're gonna wear the fukkin shinebox"

"The fukk you said bitch? You washed up ol' boy, you ain't sht, I should blast you right now." And with that Shiny appeared like a ninja at Low-Q's side.





Billy looked at Jon Jon with a mean mug ass WTF look.

"Yo Low-Q, what the fukk man, I told you not to fukk around. And Shiny, how the fukk you get in here?" Jon Jon ain't like this sht one bit.

"Sht foo, I just stayed in the bathroom all night... urryone knows you aint clean that fukkin bathroom."

"Speakin of... I gotta take a piss. Shiny, keep an eye on this foo. He talkin real brave right now... Lemme see if I still feel like peelin his wig after this piss." Low-Q went to the pisser.





Shiny stood there mean-muggin Billy. Billy didn't like it one bit.
"You here feelin froggy? You gonna leap, tiny Shiny? How you gon disrespect Jon Jon's establishment like that. Huh? You don't fukks wit Jon Jons." And then Billy the Bully just snapped. He couldn't stand looking at Shiny's stupid face for one moment longer and he grabbed a bottle off the bar and cracked it on the floor.... "You wanna try and sandbag me? You and Low-IQ gonna bully Billy the Bully?!" And with that Billy jammed the jagged bottle right into Shiny's face.

Low-Q came out the bathroom.. "Yo shiny... I hope this bitch gave you a reason to pop his bitch a..." and then Low-Q saw Shiny on the floor, laying there looking mad pathetic and bitchlike in a pool of blood.





"What the fukk you do Billy? I'll fukkin kill you!" And just as quickly as Low-Q went for his piece, Billy the Bully was just as quick on the draw





"PLEASE" Screamed Jon Jon... "You two just get the fukk out, take this up somewhere else. How the fukk am I sposed to deal with this sht?" Jon Jon said pointing at Shiny's shtty lifeless body.

"Yeaa aight, I'm outtie. Imma let Billy boy here stay and help you clean up his mess. Enjoy your night Billy... not gonna have too many left." Low-Q dipped.


Meanwhile... in the North Pole...



"Aww Holy Fukkin Sht, Rudolph! Another murder in Brooklyn. The fukk is wrong with that fukkin place? Aw fukk fukk fukk, the big guy ain't gonna be too happy about this"

"Oh gee wiz Hermey, this is just terrible. You better ring the alarm"

Hermey rang the Naughty Alarm - which was saved for systemic naughtiness... a situation no one in the North Pole wants to deal with.

"Yes?" Came a jolly voice





"Sht and pissfux Santa, fukkin Brooklyn is nearing Critical Naughty. A murder tonight just lit the whole borough red!"

Santa got very solemn. "Very disheartening. I mean, we expect the occasional Critical Naughty from third world shtholes and even the flyover states of the good ol' US of A... but not out of New York City... the most Christmassy place outside of our home here... this is a bad sign... a very bad sign for all of humanity. I need to have a think. Ho Ho!





"Yes Daddy?"

"Will you be a dear and bring me my medicine?"

"Sure Daddy, I'll be right back." Ho Ho went into the Claus Kitchen and grabbed Santa's medicine.





Santa began slamming down shot after shot of his medicine, muttering under his breath as he stormed out of the workstation.





"I've never seen Daddy this upset before. I've never seen him drink that much of his medicine. This must be bad... He must have some big decisions to make..."


To be continued....

spot sold to crayola

Ive missed these. Christmas doesnt feel like christmas without a ragingcrayon story

This played out like a KRS one song - until we cut to the north pole.
Riviting tale chap, i hope we see more of Santas little helper

in.

That was a good read

Thought the Morgan/Grandma scene was going to play out differently. Felt that tension.

























Repped. LMAO in for more

Billy Dee says this works every time

Lol I literally just did my first simp rep before opening this thread and seeing this

wat

Lmao strong. More acometh. Chapter 2 in a day or 2.Fine work in this thread sir.


Don't forget to like comment and subscribe so u don't miss the next chapters.

honestly thought you were dead bro

I was supposed to help with these, but my skills weren't up to par. I know how to color comics with Photoshop, but not all that other stuff.

Never that. Been working cray last few years. But the misc deserves my best.

How can i dig up the old xmas threads? I want to show these to my children one day

Nice read brah,
Happy holidays

Merry Christmas bro
Great read and subbed for the next chapters.

Is this what you do with your time when your girlfriend takes away the controller for your Xbox?

The fukk u on about?

Lol love these

In for more

In on a ragingcrayon Christmas story.

lol'd at the bar scene

You’ll shoot your eye out

can we get this to post #30 for Chapter 2? It gon be good....

Sure dude

Chapter 2

North Pole, December 23, 2019



"I just don't know what to do, sugarbreasts... Brooklyn has just been so horrible this year. I feel like it'd be a waste of time giving the whole place coal - I feel like maybe there should just be no Christmas in Crooklyn this year. Maybe teach them a lesson."

"Ohhhh Nicholas... I know how it pains you to see Brooklyn in such a way, but maybe what they need right now is a bit of kindness. Remind them of the Christmas spirit, and how important it is to carry on that light throughout the whole year. Give them a chance, it'll do them good, and it'll do your heart some good to know you gave them one more chance..."

"I think you're right. I'll call a meeting for our executive staff..."

Later that night...



"Ok folks... Sug... Mrs. Claus and I had a long chat about the Brooklyn situation. There will be a Christmas in Crooklyn this year. Starting December 26th and throughout the next year, we will keep the borough under a tighter observation protocol. If there is an uptick in naughtiness, Christmas 2020 will be canceled for Brooklyn outright."

"But Santa, on what basis do you think anything would change over the next year?" asked Rudolph's bitch.

"I know the Mayor of Brooklyn - and yes that's a thing - and I know him very well. I will write him a letter explaining the situation. It'll serve him well to put his constituents on notice."

And so... Christmas of 2019 happened for Brooklyn. A beautiful Christmas. And as stated, Santa sent a letter to the mayor of Brooklyn which arrived on the morning of December 26th.

December 26th, 2019. 6PM

Broadcasts across the Tri-State area were suddenly interrupted...



"Attention Brooklynites... I retheived a letter from my good friend Thanta this morning, a very dithcontherting letter. Not much of a thurprise our borough landed on the naughty radar in the North Pole. Thanta stated that we almost didn't have Chrithmith yesterday, and any uptick from here will be cause for canthelation next year. I know my Brooklyn can do it, be good the reth of this year. I am counting on you all to do your part."

January 3, 2020



"So wsup Low-Q... what we doin' out here?"

"I gotta handle some biz, cuz. I just need you out here with your eyes open. I gotta meet with someone up on the roof... just be ready with that thang thang in case sht goes wrong."



"Who you meetin with? Why don't you let me handle it?"

"Nah son, this some other sht, you don't needa be caught up in it."

Hardball got a weird feelin' in his gut. Low-Q moving kinda strange he thought. But he stood watch while Low-Q went up to the roof.

"Scumbag, you have 30 seconds to tell me why the fukk I'm up here before I toss your midget ass off this motherfukkin roof."

"I got a lil info I think you might be interested in"

"Make with it then.. it startin' to snow up in this bitch."

"You gotta missing person report on that cat Shiny, yea?"

"Yep - that's your crew... trust me when I say we're working really hard on it" Sergeant Traylor said with a sarcastic chuckle.

"And if I could give you Billy the Bully for it?"

"Now you're getting somewhere. But ain't this against the code? Your petty gangsters' 'respeck' and 'gully' sht? Your crew, his crew... hell the fukkin kindergartners around here will put a hole in you for ratting."



"I trust this will keep your mouth shut... sht goes right, you got a free twenty g'z and the collar of the decade round here. Sht goes wrong, we both get fukked, but belee me, you will get the worst of it.

"Well sht, you got yourself a lil deal there. But to be clear, I am not in your pocket and I will put your ass away the moment I catch you slipping... and the day I do... you bring this sht up and I promise you'll be living in the wrong side of Rikers, catch my drift?"

Low-Q gave Traylor the scoop, and a recording off his phone of the incident.

January 4, 2020



Sergeant Traylor pulled up at Billy's clubhouse with his homeboy, Officer Tackleberry. "You smell that, Tackleberry? That's the sweet smell of trouble."

"Smells like no warrant needed to me... cough cough... man the stench of drugs is hitting hard even outside... we'd be irresponsible not to kick in the door"

And so they indeed kicked in the door and ran up on Billy and Morgan.



"The fukk you doing, pigs?" Billy lashed out. "You ain't got no motherfukkin warrant, the fukk you kicked my door in for? The fukk you couldn't knock for? We ain't got no beef so what gives."

"Well, I guess I was just thinkin about arresting you for the murder of Shiny."

"The fukk you tomabout bruh? Shiny prolly up in Canada by now... little punk bitch he aint dead"

"Save it Billy... you're comin in." Traylor went to grab Billy to cuff him but Morgalunged at Traylor.

"Nuh Uh" Tackleberry giggled



Tackleberry jawed Morgan hard as fukk. Traylor started hammering on Billy.



Morgan fired back (no bitch in this guy)... Tackleberry was seeing birds... Traylor beat Billy to semi-consciousness and jumped up to help his boy. He grabbed Morgan from behind and



put his head through the fukkin TV. Godddamm. Morgan was LIGHTS OUT. Tackleberry threw the cuffs on Billy.



"What about this trash?" Tackleberry asked pointing at Morgan.

"We aint got sht on him, fukk him... let him come to and rile his boys up... that'll give us an excuse to shoot em all"