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» Misc 2021 Joke Thread
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post 1628487503 01-13-2021, 02:57 PM
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Misc 2021 Joke Thread

BUS RIDE
A senior citizen’s group charters a bus from Brooklyn to Atlantic City. As they entered New Jersey, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says “I’ve just been molested!

The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.

A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested. The driver starts to think he may have a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies?

About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she’d been molested too. The bus driver decides that he’d had enough, and pulls into the first rest area. When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.

“Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?” says the bus driver.

“I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I grab it, it keeps running away.”
SPOT SOLD TO FROGTECH - 100% NATURAL GENETIC FROG FIBRES

see Krackerjacked's sig

never underestimate the slootiness of a sloot
-DrugsToGetBig

ratchet girls love the ebt flex
-havoc00
post 1628490143 01-13-2021, 03:26 PM
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#2
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What's the hardest part about eating your vegetables?























Getting them out of the wheel chair.
SPOT SOLD TO FROGTECH - 100% NATURAL GENETIC FROG FIBRES

see Krackerjacked's sig

never underestimate the slootiness of a sloot
-DrugsToGetBig

ratchet girls love the ebt flex
-havoc00
post 1628490603 01-13-2021, 03:32 PM
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#3
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A little girl and her mother are walking through a park and see two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl asks her mother what they're are doing. After a moments hesitation, the mother replies "They're making cakes."

The next day the little girl and her mother go to the zoo. The little girl sees two monkeys having sex, and again asks her mother what they are doing. The mother again uses the same answer "They're making cakes."

The next morning the little girl says to her mother "Mummy, You and Daddy were making cakes on the lounge last night."

The Mother replies " How do you know?"

The girl says "I licked the icing off the sofa!"
SPOT SOLD TO FROGTECH - 100% NATURAL GENETIC FROG FIBRES

see Krackerjacked's sig

never underestimate the slootiness of a sloot
-DrugsToGetBig

ratchet girls love the ebt flex
-havoc00
post 1628490723 01-13-2021, 03:34 PM
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#4
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Why do girls wear make up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink.
post 1628491013 01-13-2021, 03:36 PM
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#5
  1. paulinkansas
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Two gay guys were walking down the street and they saw a dog licking his balls. One guy says to the other "I wish I could do that." The other says "You'd better pet him first, he might bite."
post 1628491433 01-13-2021, 03:41 PM
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#6
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A man standing at a urinal looks over and sees a Leprechaun at the urinal next to his. The Leprechaun has a massively huge dick, so the guy asks "Hey how did you get your dick so big?" The Leprechaun says, "I'm a Leprechaun, I can have whatever I want." The man asks, "How could I make mine that large?" The Leprechaun replies, "If you let me put my magic dick up your ass you will wake up tomorrow with a huge dick." Reluctantly the man says ok go ahead and he bends over. After a few minutes of vigorous butt sex the Leprechaun leans over and whispers in the man's ear, "How old are you?" The man replies, "I'm 34." Laughing the Leprechaun replies, "you're 34, and you still believe in Leprechauns?!"
SPOT SOLD TO FROGTECH - 100% NATURAL GENETIC FROG FIBRES

see Krackerjacked's sig

never underestimate the slootiness of a sloot
-DrugsToGetBig

ratchet girls love the ebt flex
-havoc00
post 1628491553 01-13-2021, 03:42 PM
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#7
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Originally Posted By paulinkansas
Two gay guys were walking down the street and they saw a dog licking his balls. One guy says to the other "I wish I could do that." The other says "You'd better pet him first, he might bite."
Fukking lol
On spread
SPOT SOLD TO FROGTECH - 100% NATURAL GENETIC FROG FIBRES

see Krackerjacked's sig

never underestimate the slootiness of a sloot
-DrugsToGetBig

ratchet girls love the ebt flex
-havoc00
post 1628493383 01-13-2021, 04:03 PM
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#8
  1. DM28
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You should do a gif thread
Originally Posted By Glutebrahhh
Why do girls wear make up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they stink.
How rood.
~ Official FANGIRL Crew ~

I <3 you all

Madfury is my Misc Oneitis <3
post 1628494343 01-13-2021, 04:13 PM
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#9
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Originally Posted By DM28
You should do a gif thread

How rood.
Well obvs not you bb

Were you the one selling your farts in glass jars?
post 1628494793 01-13-2021, 04:19 PM
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#10
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Originally Posted By DM28
You should do a gif thread
Kiop's already got a good one started.
SPOT SOLD TO FROGTECH - 100% NATURAL GENETIC FROG FIBRES

see Krackerjacked's sig

never underestimate the slootiness of a sloot
-DrugsToGetBig

ratchet girls love the ebt flex
-havoc00
post 1628497513 01-13-2021, 04:46 PM
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#11
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Originally Posted By Glutebrahhh
Well obvs not you bb

Were you the one selling your farts in glass jars?
Eww wot? I'm not disgusting and ladies don't fart or poop what is this?
Originally Posted By multiplemiggs
Kiop's already got a good one started.
You need one of your funnies too
~ Official FANGIRL Crew ~

I <3 you all

Madfury is my Misc Oneitis <3
post 1628498483 01-13-2021, 04:54 PM
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#12
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I tried to light a fart today, it didn't go well and I had to go to the doctor with Turd Degree Burns.
Damn
post 1628498673 01-13-2021, 04:56 PM
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#13
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Originally Posted By Jandels
I tried to light a fart today, it didn't go well and I had to go to the doctor with Turd Degree Burns.
You make me lol too post more funnies.
~ Official FANGIRL Crew ~

I <3 you all

Madfury is my Misc Oneitis <3
post 1628500623 01-13-2021, 05:13 PM
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#14
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Originally Posted By multiplemiggs
A man standing at a urinal looks over and sees a Leprechaun at the urinal next to his. The Leprechaun has a massively huge dick, so the guy asks "Hey how did you get your dick so big?" The Leprechaun says, "I'm a Leprechaun, I can have whatever I want." The man asks, "How could I make mine that large?" The Leprechaun replies, "If you let me put my magic dick up your ass you will wake up tomorrow with a huge dick." Reluctantly the man says ok go ahead and he bends over. After a few minutes of vigorous butt sex the Leprechaun leans over and whispers in the man's ear, "How old are you?" The man replies, "I'm 34." Laughing the Leprechaun replies, "you're 34, and you still believe in Leprechauns?!"
See natypes sig
post 1628556173 01-14-2021, 09:07 AM
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#15
  1. Samraiwise
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🌺 Lauren Brooks Kelly (snailsrus) - Jul 25, 1991 – Jan 29, 2022
Thread: RIP Snails : https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=181070293&page=100

⭐ Samurai Break: 140kg(308lb) Failed Bench Press Recovery Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8eIkpZ29u0
⭐ Over 35 Journals > Samurai, Without Ever Having Felt Sorry For Itself:
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=4832373&page=200
📌 Please Call me Kaz, a 65-year-old 🥋 Karate Kid in Tokyo.
post 1628645833 01-15-2021, 06:37 AM
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#16
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Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn?
































































She had mittens!
“Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must remain silent.” - Ludwig Wittgenstein
post 1628646413 01-15-2021, 06:49 AM
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#17
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Why did Hellen Kellers dog run away?



You would too if your name was eeerrroooommnnnnmuuumnph
See BrianDaMans sig.

Rep SoapKing on sight crew.
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post 1628647333 01-15-2021, 07:04 AM
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I keep fantasizing that I'm Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and occasionally Bing Crosby.
























































I think I've got crooner virus
post 1628647493 01-15-2021, 07:07 AM
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#19
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When my daughter was 8 YO:

What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssspirin.
Eat in a deficit to lose weight.
Hit your protein and fat minimums to stay healthy and keep your gainz.
Lift heavy and do HIIT to look and feel awesome.
Use the internet to learn why you should do these things and how to do these things.
post 1628647553 01-15-2021, 07:08 AM
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#20
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Wincel
















































Wort ew in th wold.
post 1628647743 01-15-2021, 07:13 AM
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#21
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Did you hear about the guy who got fired from his job at the sperm bank?

He got caught drinking on the job
post 1628648353 01-15-2021, 07:21 AM
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of dead nazi meat?

The bag!!!

post 1628648753 01-15-2021, 07:28 AM
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#23
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Wincel goes to the deli and asks for the biggest salami they have.
The clerk pulls one out from under the counter that's 3" in diameter.
Wincel's eyes light up and he says "oh yea, I'll take it!" as he rubs his palms together.

The clerk puts it in the slicer and starts carving off sammich thin slices.

Wincel yells "What the fuk are you doing??? Does my ass look like a piggy bank to you???"
PRs: Back Squat- 410x1 / Front Squat- 320x1/ Bench- 325x1 / Deadlift- 505x1

Woody's Quest for the Seven (journal):
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=177649631
post 1628649183 01-15-2021, 07:34 AM
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#24
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Wincel asks you "If we went camping together and you got totally hammered and woke up with lube on your ass, would you tell anyone?"

You of course say "Hell no"

Wincel then asks "Hey, want to go camping?"
Eat in a deficit to lose weight.
Hit your protein and fat minimums to stay healthy and keep your gainz.
Lift heavy and do HIIT to look and feel awesome.
Use the internet to learn why you should do these things and how to do these things.
post 1628649383 01-15-2021, 07:36 AM
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#25
  1. martoch
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A Montana senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing, " he thought as he flew down I-90, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Montana State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this! "and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Montana State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
post 1628649853 01-15-2021, 07:43 AM
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#26
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What do you get when you cross Wincel with a saber-toothed tiger?

I'm not quite sure either but you should probably keep that thing away from your ass.
Eat in a deficit to lose weight.
Hit your protein and fat minimums to stay healthy and keep your gainz.
Lift heavy and do HIIT to look and feel awesome.
Use the internet to learn why you should do these things and how to do these things.
post 1628650473 01-15-2021, 07:51 AM
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#27
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You're a naughty boy young man.

You deserve a rough spanking.

With your Light Grey Joggers around your ankles.

Do you kiss your Mother with that mouth?

Boyo?
I have sampled every language and French is my favorite to curse in.

Kryptonite Crew
post 1628883843 01-17-2021, 05:02 PM
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#28
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Originally Posted By wincel
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of dead nazi meat?
Jokes about death aren't funny.

Spoiler!
Unless they are executed properly
Damn
post 1629423383 01-23-2021, 03:00 AM
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#29
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Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there are not enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy no the right wakes up and says, ‟I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he is had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, ‟That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”
Damn
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