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tips for improving social skills?
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01-29-2021, 06:39 PM
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#1
- betaProvider117
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- betaProvider117
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tips for improving social skills?
I know there's no magic pill and you should interact with people to get better at it. But any misc brahs have legit tips on things like good manners, etiquette, nonverbal queues when talking to people?
Barbers offer to cut my throat instead of my hair because of my ugliness crew
Cry myself to sleep while humping mattress and clutching pillow crew
Make eye contact with a girl, pass out and get a concussion crew
T-Mobile worker laughed at me because only had one number for 5-friends/family plan crew
Got jumped and bystanders laughed/recorded it crew
Take out trash and trash man mistakes me for garbage crew
Mom slides food through slot in my door without saying a word crew
01-29-2021, 06:42 PM
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#2
- DoctorKazama
- Ph.D Broscience
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- DoctorKazama
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Fuking LMAO @ coming to the misc to ask this question.
01-29-2021, 06:49 PM
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#3
- betaProvider117
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- betaProvider117
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Originally Posted By DoctorKazama⏩
Fuking LMAO @ coming to the misc to ask this question.
Barbers offer to cut my throat instead of my hair because of my ugliness crew
Cry myself to sleep while humping mattress and clutching pillow crew
Make eye contact with a girl, pass out and get a concussion crew
T-Mobile worker laughed at me because only had one number for 5-friends/family plan crew
Got jumped and bystanders laughed/recorded it crew
Take out trash and trash man mistakes me for garbage crew
Mom slides food through slot in my door without saying a word crew
01-29-2021, 06:50 PM
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#4
Originally Posted By DoctorKazama⏩
Lol this. OP to answer your question seriously. You have to put yourself in all kinds of social situations. Talk to the cashier, randomly ask a retail worker bs questions (I would ask random shoppers for their opinions on certain clothing items), go to bars, clubs, sporting events, etc. and just shoot the chit with anyone. It’s a good way to learn when someone is not interesting in talking or doesn’t want to be part of a long conversation, etc.Fuking LMAO @ coming to the misc to ask this question.
I used to have bad social anxiety when I was younger and went to CBT and basically this is what I had to do (they call it exposure therapy).
01-29-2021, 06:51 PM
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#5
- homersexual
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- homersexual
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Originally Posted By DoctorKazama⏩
Better the Misc than Reddit or 4chan.Fuking LMAO @ coming to the misc to ask this question.
-SF Gigantes y SF 49ers-
01-29-2021, 06:54 PM
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#6
- betaProvider117
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- betaProvider117
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Originally Posted By Hector002⏩
preciateLol this. OP to answer your question seriously. You have to put yourself in all kinds of social situations. Talk to the cashier, randomly ask a retail worker bs questions (I would ask random shoppers for their opinions on certain clothing items), go to bars, clubs, sporting events, etc. and just shoot the chit with anyone. It’s a good way to learn when someone is not interesting in talking or doesn’t want to be part of a long conversation, etc.
I used to have bad social anxiety when I was younger and went to CBT and basically this is what I had to do (they call it exposure therapy).
I used to have bad social anxiety when I was younger and went to CBT and basically this is what I had to do (they call it exposure therapy).
Barbers offer to cut my throat instead of my hair because of my ugliness crew
Cry myself to sleep while humping mattress and clutching pillow crew
Make eye contact with a girl, pass out and get a concussion crew
T-Mobile worker laughed at me because only had one number for 5-friends/family plan crew
Got jumped and bystanders laughed/recorded it crew
Take out trash and trash man mistakes me for garbage crew
Mom slides food through slot in my door without saying a word crew
01-29-2021, 06:54 PM
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#7
- OliverHeldens
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The problem for most people is just not getting enough repetitions in. They don't learn social skills at a young age, and it's a lot tougher to learn them when you're older if you didn't already have them.
What worked best for me is staying in party hostels. Literally no barriers to socializing, you can literally walk up to anybody in them and start having a conversation immediately and that person is almost always open. Always someone drinking or hanging out.
There was one trip in particular when I had been stuck in a bad rut before(not going out, being quiet when I was out, etc) and went traveling for a month in party hostels. When I came back home, I started going out solo and within like a month of getting back I had a big friend group put together from people I had met at the bars/clubs. Was pretty hilarious actually how much my social skills improved in just one month. Literally went from 32 year old gym-cell to 32 year old guy that is all of a sudden friends with a bunch of people in their 20s.
What worked best for me is staying in party hostels. Literally no barriers to socializing, you can literally walk up to anybody in them and start having a conversation immediately and that person is almost always open. Always someone drinking or hanging out.
There was one trip in particular when I had been stuck in a bad rut before(not going out, being quiet when I was out, etc) and went traveling for a month in party hostels. When I came back home, I started going out solo and within like a month of getting back I had a big friend group put together from people I had met at the bars/clubs. Was pretty hilarious actually how much my social skills improved in just one month. Literally went from 32 year old gym-cell to 32 year old guy that is all of a sudden friends with a bunch of people in their 20s.
01-29-2021, 07:00 PM
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#8
- Ironmanlet
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- Ironmanlet
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Practice.
Simply interact with other people. In the gym, at the store, wherever.
You will subconsciously pick on socially acceptable demeanors and behavior, and you can consciously pay attention to how people respond to you as a form of measuring your progress.
It should come naturally, but just practice man. If it goes wrong, you may feel awkward but there is no real consequence beyond that. Then you simply get the chance to start again.
Discussion points (for starters) FORD
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
Just for starters.
Simply interact with other people. In the gym, at the store, wherever.
You will subconsciously pick on socially acceptable demeanors and behavior, and you can consciously pay attention to how people respond to you as a form of measuring your progress.
It should come naturally, but just practice man. If it goes wrong, you may feel awkward but there is no real consequence beyond that. Then you simply get the chance to start again.
Discussion points (for starters) FORD
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
Just for starters.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“
PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
01-29-2021, 07:06 PM
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#9
- betaProvider117
- Registered Miscer
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- betaProvider117
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Originally Posted By OliverHeldens⏩
good job brahThe problem for most people is just not getting enough repetitions in. They don't learn social skills at a young age, and it's a lot tougher to learn them when you're older if you didn't already have them.
What worked best for me is staying in party hostels. Literally no barriers to socializing, you can literally walk up to anybody in them and start having a conversation immediately and that person is almost always open. Always someone drinking or hanging out.
There was one trip in particular when I had been stuck in a bad rut before(not going out, being quiet when I was out, etc) and went traveling for a month in party hostels. When I came back home, I started going out solo and within like a month of getting back I had a big friend group put together from people I had met at the bars/clubs. Was pretty hilarious actually how much my social skills improved in just one month. Literally went from 32 year old gym-cell to 32 year old guy that is all of a sudden friends with a bunch of people in their 20s.
What worked best for me is staying in party hostels. Literally no barriers to socializing, you can literally walk up to anybody in them and start having a conversation immediately and that person is almost always open. Always someone drinking or hanging out.
There was one trip in particular when I had been stuck in a bad rut before(not going out, being quiet when I was out, etc) and went traveling for a month in party hostels. When I came back home, I started going out solo and within like a month of getting back I had a big friend group put together from people I had met at the bars/clubs. Was pretty hilarious actually how much my social skills improved in just one month. Literally went from 32 year old gym-cell to 32 year old guy that is all of a sudden friends with a bunch of people in their 20s.
Barbers offer to cut my throat instead of my hair because of my ugliness crew
Cry myself to sleep while humping mattress and clutching pillow crew
Make eye contact with a girl, pass out and get a concussion crew
T-Mobile worker laughed at me because only had one number for 5-friends/family plan crew
Got jumped and bystanders laughed/recorded it crew
Take out trash and trash man mistakes me for garbage crew
Mom slides food through slot in my door without saying a word crew
01-29-2021, 07:07 PM
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#10
- betaProvider117
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- betaProvider117
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
rogerPractice.
Simply interact with other people. In the gym, at the store, wherever.
You will subconsciously pick on socially acceptable demeanors and behavior, and you can consciously pay attention to how people respond to you as a form of measuring your progress.
It should come naturally, but just practice man. If it goes wrong, you may feel awkward but there is no real consequence beyond that. Then you simply get the chance to start again.
Discussion points (for starters) FORD
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
Just for starters.
Simply interact with other people. In the gym, at the store, wherever.
You will subconsciously pick on socially acceptable demeanors and behavior, and you can consciously pay attention to how people respond to you as a form of measuring your progress.
It should come naturally, but just practice man. If it goes wrong, you may feel awkward but there is no real consequence beyond that. Then you simply get the chance to start again.
Discussion points (for starters) FORD
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
Just for starters.
Barbers offer to cut my throat instead of my hair because of my ugliness crew
Cry myself to sleep while humping mattress and clutching pillow crew
Make eye contact with a girl, pass out and get a concussion crew
T-Mobile worker laughed at me because only had one number for 5-friends/family plan crew
Got jumped and bystanders laughed/recorded it crew
Take out trash and trash man mistakes me for garbage crew
Mom slides food through slot in my door without saying a word crew
01-29-2021, 07:08 PM
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#11
- Ironmanlet
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- Ironmanlet
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Additionally keep in mind it is okay to be uncomfortable. That is where growth takes place.
I try to practice intentionally putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to practice being uncomfortable and “expand my comfort bubble”. That’s out of the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris.
Three ways he recommends trying this is to
1. Make longer eye contact with random people in public than what is normal, or what feels comfortable. Literally stare them down.
2. Everyday ask three random women on a date or for their phone number. It doesn’t matter if you get it or not, the intention is to be uncomfortable. However, with practice and application of different techniques, you may get good at it.
3. Say no to everyone who asks you for a favor for two days. We hate saying no to each other. You don’t have to give a reason at all. Tim advocates lying but I’m strongly against that. If they ask you can just tell them the reason doesn’t pertain to them (which it doesn’t). I would suggest this would actually make the tension more significant.
No one dies when we say no to each other. I advocate everyone getting comfortable doing that. It is a very basic way to set boundaries, which we should all be doing anyway.
Get comfy being uncomfy
I try to practice intentionally putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to practice being uncomfortable and “expand my comfort bubble”. That’s out of the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris.
Three ways he recommends trying this is to
1. Make longer eye contact with random people in public than what is normal, or what feels comfortable. Literally stare them down.
2. Everyday ask three random women on a date or for their phone number. It doesn’t matter if you get it or not, the intention is to be uncomfortable. However, with practice and application of different techniques, you may get good at it.
3. Say no to everyone who asks you for a favor for two days. We hate saying no to each other. You don’t have to give a reason at all. Tim advocates lying but I’m strongly against that. If they ask you can just tell them the reason doesn’t pertain to them (which it doesn’t). I would suggest this would actually make the tension more significant.
No one dies when we say no to each other. I advocate everyone getting comfortable doing that. It is a very basic way to set boundaries, which we should all be doing anyway.
Get comfy being uncomfy
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“
PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
01-29-2021, 07:11 PM
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#12
- Numba1Miscer
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- Numba1Miscer
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stay off the misc
01-29-2021, 07:13 PM
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#13
Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
#1 is good advice but be careful. Don't stare them down like you want to fight lol.Additionally keep in mind it is okay to be uncomfortable. That is where growth takes place.
I try to practice intentionally putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to practice being uncomfortable and “expand my comfort bubble”. That’s out of the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris.
Three ways he recommends trying this is to
1. Make longer eye contact with random people in public than what is normal, or what feels comfortable. Literally stare them down.
2. Everyday ask three random women on a date or for their phone number. It doesn’t matter if you get it or not, the intention is to be uncomfortable. However, with practice and application of different techniques, you may get good at it.
3. Say no to everyone who asks you for a favor for two days. We hate saying no to each other. You don’t have to give a reason at all. Tim advocates lying but I’m strongly against that. If they ask you can just tell them the reason doesn’t pertain to them (which it doesn’t). I would suggest this would actually make the tension more significant.
No one dies when we say no to each other. I advocate everyone getting comfortable doing that. It is a very basic way to set boundaries, which we should all be doing anyway.
Get comfy being uncomfy
I try to practice intentionally putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to practice being uncomfortable and “expand my comfort bubble”. That’s out of the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris.
Three ways he recommends trying this is to
1. Make longer eye contact with random people in public than what is normal, or what feels comfortable. Literally stare them down.
2. Everyday ask three random women on a date or for their phone number. It doesn’t matter if you get it or not, the intention is to be uncomfortable. However, with practice and application of different techniques, you may get good at it.
3. Say no to everyone who asks you for a favor for two days. We hate saying no to each other. You don’t have to give a reason at all. Tim advocates lying but I’m strongly against that. If they ask you can just tell them the reason doesn’t pertain to them (which it doesn’t). I would suggest this would actually make the tension more significant.
No one dies when we say no to each other. I advocate everyone getting comfortable doing that. It is a very basic way to set boundaries, which we should all be doing anyway.
Get comfy being uncomfy
I did that once and this crack head jumped out of his car at a gas station asking what my problem was. I was just having a bad day and I guess my face showed it.
01-29-2021, 07:14 PM
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#14
- betaProvider117
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- betaProvider117
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
yup, I ought to push outside the norm for myselfAdditionally keep in mind it is okay to be uncomfortable. That is where growth takes place.
I try to practice intentionally putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to practice being uncomfortable and “expand my comfort bubble”. That’s out of the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris.
Three ways he recommends trying this is to
1. Make longer eye contact with random people in public than what is normal, or what feels comfortable. Literally stare them down.
2. Everyday ask three random women on a date or for their phone number. It doesn’t matter if you get it or not, the intention is to be uncomfortable. However, with practice and application of different techniques, you may get good at it.
3. Say no to everyone who asks you for a favor for two days. We hate saying no to each other. You don’t have to give a reason at all. Tim advocates lying but I’m strongly against that. If they ask you can just tell them the reason doesn’t pertain to them (which it doesn’t). I would suggest this would actually make the tension more significant.
No one dies when we say no to each other. I advocate everyone getting comfortable doing that. It is a very basic way to set boundaries, which we should all be doing anyway.
Get comfy being uncomfy
I try to practice intentionally putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to practice being uncomfortable and “expand my comfort bubble”. That’s out of the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris.
Three ways he recommends trying this is to
1. Make longer eye contact with random people in public than what is normal, or what feels comfortable. Literally stare them down.
2. Everyday ask three random women on a date or for their phone number. It doesn’t matter if you get it or not, the intention is to be uncomfortable. However, with practice and application of different techniques, you may get good at it.
3. Say no to everyone who asks you for a favor for two days. We hate saying no to each other. You don’t have to give a reason at all. Tim advocates lying but I’m strongly against that. If they ask you can just tell them the reason doesn’t pertain to them (which it doesn’t). I would suggest this would actually make the tension more significant.
No one dies when we say no to each other. I advocate everyone getting comfortable doing that. It is a very basic way to set boundaries, which we should all be doing anyway.
Get comfy being uncomfy
also, I do say no and s tandup for myself at times and it feels like lifting a load off your shoulders at times
as for general conversation, I feel like I really don't care what people have to say so it feels forced making small talk, also I'm a bit of a perfectionist and tight wound so I feel better saying nothing rather than being half-hearted
I'm really asking this for building rapport in job related scenarios
Barbers offer to cut my throat instead of my hair because of my ugliness crew
Cry myself to sleep while humping mattress and clutching pillow crew
Make eye contact with a girl, pass out and get a concussion crew
T-Mobile worker laughed at me because only had one number for 5-friends/family plan crew
Got jumped and bystanders laughed/recorded it crew
Take out trash and trash man mistakes me for garbage crew
Mom slides food through slot in my door without saying a word crew
01-29-2021, 07:23 PM
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#15
- OliverHeldens
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
Yeah, this is a huge understated part of being social. It's picking up on other people's body language and knowing when you are bothering them or making them uncomfortable. Many people have the necessary speaking skill to have large friend groups, but they just don't read body language well or have the self control to know when they are being obnoxious. It actually pisses me off when I have to make some obvious unappreciative gesture to finally get someone to take a hint.You will subconsciously pick on socially acceptable demeanors and behavior, and you can consciously pay attention to how people respond to you as a form of measuring your progress.
01-29-2021, 07:26 PM
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#16
- MajorTendonitis
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First rule of improving social skills . Stay off the Misc lol
Back with my Fam
01-29-2021, 07:30 PM
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#17
- elterrible987
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- elterrible987
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Originally Posted By betaProvider117⏩
its weird i used to think he was jacked back in the day and now he looks tiny, maybe because the whole fitness world is on trt these days
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