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Forum » Opinions and thoughts requested for this relationship problem
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Thread: Opinions and thoughts requested for this relationship problem

post 1630277883 02-01-2021, 01:59 PM
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Opinions and thoughts requested for this relationship problem

So ive always had a rule when im jn. A relationship with a chic that has kids thay it is not my place to discipline them and even instil my values and belifes in them cause he has a mother and a father already and i wouldnt want smsone guy coming along if we broke up and dping that with my son


Well her son is 5 years old and she lets him stay up pretty much all nigh watching youtu e and creepy chit id never let my son watch at that age. He has nightmares . says hes scared all the time qheb hea time for bed causs she allows him to watxh all this garbage
.
Hes a great kid hes very smart and intelligebt but he already needs a shrink from witnessing his dad beat up his mom all the time before i came along and we started dating. Seeing him punch holes in walls. Choke her slap her

We are talking abiut moving. I said i want a small town some place bettee tk raise your children in and ahe says ahe wants tk stay in the same size city. In essense shes sayibg screw whats best for rhe kids she wants ti be in the city. How wouod you guys handle this?srs
"it takes a wise man to know when he is in error and a noble man to admit to it"
post 1630278113 02-01-2021, 02:01 PM
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Looking at your AVI, I'm going to assume you are the one who fuked up the kid and you're just "asking for a friend" so people won't judge you.

On a srs note, your grammar sucks and so does the kid's mother.

Get out of that relationship while you can.
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post 1630280203 02-01-2021, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted By Anorexilla⏩


Looking at your AVI, I'm going to assume you are the one who fuked up the kid and you're just "asking for a friend" so people won't judge you.

On a srs note, your grammar sucks and so does the kid's mother.

Get out of that relationship while you can.
My grammar i wont dispute. Me and thebchix have a 4 month old babu. I was raised in a broken home with no father. So not a chance in hell id ever adbondon him.

And the kid is not ****ed up. Hed very bright. Hes just seen and been around some fuxked up violent chit before i met her.

Im 46 and she is 26 and yes i knkw thats half the problem right there..

Shes a parent and she tells me her happiness and needs should come before theirs and that just doesnt jive with me
"it takes a wise man to know when he is in error and a noble man to admit to it"
post 1630281903 02-01-2021, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted By Anorexilla⏩
Looking at your AVI, I'm going to assume you are the one who fuked up the kid and you're just "asking for a friend" so people won't judge you.
post 1630283103 02-01-2021, 03:05 PM
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If she is the problem, where you live is unlikely to change her into the woman and mother you want her to become.

She has to want to make these changes for herself, her children, and her relationship. They start from the inside out not the outside in. Unless there are certain toxic things being in the city enables and she recognizes this, she's jsut going to resent you for moving somewhere she doesn't want to.

Seems like you should be rethinking the entire relationship and take couples counselling if you want the best chance at the type of ideal future you envision with her.
post 1630283723 02-01-2021, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
If she is the problem, where you live is unlikely to change her into the woman and mother you want her to become.

She has to want to make these changes for herself, her children, and her relationship. They start from the inside out not the outside in. Unless there are certain toxic things being in the city enables and she recognizes this, she's jsut going to resent you for moving somewhere she doesn't want to.

Seems like you should be rethinking the entire relationship and take couples counselling if you want the best chance at the type of ideal future you envision with her.
Thats on the table. At this point anythingg and everything i decide will be for my sons best interest. Not mine. I just dont unddrstand why she. Cant get on board that its all about. Their happiness and whats best for them now. Not us
"it takes a wise man to know when he is in error and a noble man to admit to it"
post 1630284273 02-01-2021, 03:19 PM
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Going to go out on a limb and say there might be other problems in the relationship that need addressing. Your substance abuse is not in your son's best interest, so maybe start with that.
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post 1630285973 02-01-2021, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted By latverian41⏩
Thats on the table. At this point anythingg and everything i decide will be for my sons best interest. Not mine. I just dont unddrstand why she. Cant get on board that its all about. Their happiness and whats best for them now. Not us
If you don't take care of yourself and address your personal happiness it will affect your ability to be the best parent you can.
This includes choosing a partner who complements and inspires you on a daily basis.
post 1630286253 02-01-2021, 03:45 PM
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So OP isn't drunk or high this time while posting?
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post 1630288513 02-01-2021, 04:13 PM
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Originally Posted By redraider86⏩
Going to go out on a limb and say there might be other problems in the relationship that need addressing. Your substance abuse is not in your son's best interest, so maybe start with that.
My substance abuse issues are pretty much nonexistent at this stage . i know in the laws eyes what i consider small or not a big deal is a big deakl and its still not right. I guess what im trying to ssy is im no longer an addict. I would never go out looking fof somethibg or trying to buy sonething. I also would never never never allow. My son to be around such things or ever have such a ssd dark memory kn his head wheb be gsts old of his mom and dad drunk or getting high of fighting. And hd wont

Im wanting to raise him in a small town and close knit community. That has a very low crime rate. Go to a good school. Lesrn how. To hunt abd fish properly. A community where everyone knows each other.

I dont see what her big deal is if zhe KNOWS her kidd have the best possible friends snd going to good zchoolz. If she has to drive or i drive her an hr tk the nearest mall i think is a small price to. Pay
"it takes a wise man to know when he is in error and a noble man to admit to it"
post 1630289263 02-01-2021, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted By latverian41⏩
My substance abuse issues are pretty much nonexistent at this stage . i know in the laws eyes what i consider small or not a big deal is a big deakl and its still not right. I guess what im trying to ssy is im no longer an addict. I would never go out looking fof somethibg or trying to buy sonething. I also would never never never allow. My son to be around such things or ever have such a ssd dark memory kn his head wheb be gsts old of his mom and dad drunk or getting high of fighting. And hd wont

Im wanting to raise him in a small town and close knit community. That has a very low crime rate. Go to a good school. Lesrn how. To hunt abd fish properly. A community where everyone knows each other.

I dont see what her big deal is if zhe KNOWS her kidd have the best possible friends snd going to good zchoolz. If she has to drive or i drive her an hr tk the nearest mall i think is a small price to. Pay
Not everyone thinks this is the ideal scenario for their family as others prefer to be within the city due to friends/family/job opportunities/access to facilities/etc

You state things as if they are a fact and she should align with your views without question but even if she is troubled, many perfectly healthy people don't have the same point of view as you on certain things either (this for example, or your stance on religion that you posted a while back).

You need to fix yourselves and your relationship first and foremost rather than push your opinions on each other and allow your differences to become points of contention that tear you further apart.
post 1636816533 04-22-2021, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted By latverian41⏩
So ive always had a rule when im jn. A relationship with a chic that has kids thay it is not my place to discipline them and even instil my values and belifes in them cause he has a mother and a father already and i wouldnt want smsone guy coming along if we broke up and dping that with my son


Well her son is 5 years old and she lets him stay up pretty much all nigh watching youtu e and creepy chit id never let my son watch at that age. He has nightmares . says hes scared all the time qheb hea time for bed causs she allows him to watxh all this garbage
.
Hes a great kid hes very smart and intelligebt but he already needs a shrink from witnessing his dad beat up his mom all the time before i came along and we started dating. Seeing him punch holes in walls. Choke her slap her

We are talking abiut moving. I said i want a small town some place bettee tk raise your children in and ahe says ahe wants tk stay in the same size city. In essense shes sayibg screw whats best for rhe kids she wants ti be in the city. How wouod you guys handle this?srs
Ok, that is one complicated issue you have there in your hands. I will suggest you don't go overboard and try to talk things through. Having to witness and suffer the emotional and physical abuse to say in one way can cause serious mental trauma that can affect one's overall health. I suggest you get yourself a couples therapy or counselling so as to help you and your partner which can further be of use to the kids.
post 1636816713 04-22-2021, 05:55 AM
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Originally Posted By sydneyb1⏩
Ok, that is one complicated issue you have there in your hands. I will suggest you don't go overboard and try to talk things through. Having to witness and suffer the emotional and physical abuse to say in one way can cause serious mental trauma that can affect one's overall health. I suggest you get yourself a couples therapy or counselling so as to help you and your partner which can further be of use to the kids.
Join Date: Oct 2020
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your first post since registering in oct 2020 is bumping a post from January,

the fuk mane?
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post 1636816753 04-22-2021, 05:56 AM
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Stopped reading @ ''she has a kid''. Good luck with that baggage.
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post 1636818333 04-22-2021, 06:34 AM
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You knocked up a low quality sloot single mom in your 40s. Literally the dumbest thing you could do.

Enjoy paying child support in your 60s. If you even work or have any assets that is...

End well this will not.
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