So lately Ive been feeling empty and kinda sad srs, casual sex doesnt feel as good as before. Im 35 yo atm and I feel like Gollum srs. Im decent looking and Im quit good at jestermaxxing so Tinder got me many women for the last 6 years. My last LTR was 6 years ago (and lasted 5 years) and she broked up with me cause I didnt want to get married. She was a fine woman btw and I loved her but I just couldnt do it. Im kinda terrified about the concept of marriage honestly. BTW no bad experience or nasty divorces in my family so IDK why I feel like this.

I have met some quality women during my single years but I always find something "off" about them and I just ghosted them eventually. IDK why Im such a ******* but I cannot help it. So I stick to shallow and short relationships, if you can call them like that, cause they never last more than 1 or 2 months. So last friday I had sex with a cute girl with a really nice personality but now I dont feel like seeing her again. IDK why, Im just dead inside and honestly I feel like Gollum after sex. Its all fun and motivating until I finish, after that my interest is mostly gone and I just wanna find a new woman to smash.

So, wtf is wrong with me? anyone feels the same? Maybe the reason is that Im getting older and I need something more than casual sex or maybe I just know my market value is gonna crash eventually and I need to find a quality woman before its too late.

I know strong user name to post content, but thats the problem.

You could just be a grass is greener guy, IDK but it sounds like youre searching for something that doesnt exist.

love

I know so whats the solution? I dont wanna be 50 yo still single and using Tinder.
I just wanna feel in love again (no homo)
I think Im broken since my last LTR

dedfknsrs

I'm 42 and similar - when my ex and I split up six years ago, first girl I dated for about six months. After that, I don't think anything was over 3 months. Now of those - some were some really great women but I couldn't picture myself marrying them and I didn't want to waste their time. A few I wanted to ride it out and see where it went but they felt that marriage wasn't in our future so they called it on me.

Then I met a woman in August and it's been the healthiest and best relationship I have ever been in.

This'll be a hard pill to swallow on misc, but there's actually positive and negative consequences to all of our actions. Imagine if you will, a belief that sleeping around with as many woman as you can, is actually psychologically damaging. It might be a biological imperative, but to be consumed by it, is equally real.

I remember this video from way back in my teen years, it was a sexual education video. It was interviewing various people who had been promiscuous early in life and they were discussing how it affected them. The goal of the video was obviously predetermined, but that doesn't necessarily mean their views were orchestrated. They all shared a similar detachment in their relationships later on. They couldn't help but compare their current partners to all the partners of their past, they couldn't suppress faces of their previous conquests when trying to be intimate with their current partner.

I took this advice seriously when I was 16, but then I got rekt in college by a lovely woman that sent me on a pussy pillaging warpath.

Now I'm 30+ and emotionally rotten and doing my best to preserve whatever romance I have left for my current woman.

hey man, Im also 35 in a similar situation. broke up with 2 girls recently that on paper were perfect for me. I think we may be one of those Avoidant attachment style guys (I know I am), we always run for the hills when shiz gets serious and put up barriers. I feeling like my time is running out even though I can still pull young sloots but Im tired of this life style

What’s high body count? I was kinda getting to that point after 25+, been in a committed relationship for past 2 years.

i know this sounds cliche, but trying going to church, srs. theres tons of sluts there.

I'm 60+

That's including several, multiyear relationships.

O****boyos. No wonder I felt like I was without a paddle before I met my missus.

So how did you change you toxic behavoir?THIS. I was happier when I had a low body count SRSThats me in a nutshell. I know the Misc is always blaming women but I know in my case, Iam the problem.I stop counting two years ago cause I felt like a sloot srs
But I guess Im close to 100 ded fkng srsLMAO this is why I misc

Because all women are to you now is drug...you're chasing the high of flirting/teasing and when you finally slay the sloot you need another fix from someone else as this last batch wasn't strong enough for you.

Sounds like a chitty way to live m8

As you get older, your interests tend to change or you realize your market value is about to drop off and you want to change before it's too late. Either way, I think subconsciously you're telling yourself that this isn't sustainable and you want to change before it's too late. This is pretty common when you hit your 30's. The issue is, in my opinion, is that you viewed women as a vehicle for sex your entire life and suddenly you're trying to switch gears and view them as a partner to spend the rest of your life with.

If you're a power hitter, you can't just flip a switch and become a contact hitter. It takes time to readjust. I'd start by trying to legitimately think about what you want in a long-term partner because if you always focused on 1-2 month relationships I sincerely doubt you've given a lot of thought to what is and isn't acceptable for a partner. Or you know, just switch to dudes.

I have the sense it is an ego thing or external search for self worth that was driving slutty behavior. Getting to the point of sex was the thrill. Often times the sex was nothing special. Trying to have a relationship after sex is a chore with most women.

I'm no expert but In the experience I've seen from having friends like OP - usually the reason for wanting to be detached is due to a deep seated insecurity of some type.
They are afraid to get too "close" with their partner for fear of their "embarrassing" secrets being found out. I put embarrassing in quotes because often times these secrets aren't even a big deal. So the examples I saw were usually financial stuff - guys who were pretending to have more money than they did....or paying for a fake lifestyle though use of credit cards...stuff like this.

So it is some kind of insecurity like this? Fear of being "found out"?

You had a 5 year relationship before - were you faithful for those 5 years? Were you frustrated by being with one girl? What changed?

Its is. I feel like chit. Im never satisfied.So you are saying that I need to go on NoFap hard mode? I did it once, I lasted 60 days and then I went back to the old nasty casual sex habit.I know now. I used to think this was the way when I was younger tho.It is. My self-esteem strongly linked to my nasty habit.The problem is that I feel miserable and empty af. But its very hard to quit cause I guess Im addicted.






The only difference with Quag is that I always use condoms. Pregnancy and STDs also scares the hell out of me.

How many girls you seeing at a time?

Are these all girls from apps?

Are you doing the same dates with them?



When I was using apps and single I’d be dating 3-5 girls at a time, while talking to maybe 5 others. When you’re doing this you will struggle to bond and connect with any of them - this can be a great thing if you’re just starting out and learning about women. But eventually it’s no fun when every flavor of ice cream tastes like vanilla and you miss the highs and lows of relationships. If it’s a girl from an app then to you she’s just a picture of a hot person, and not a human being. If you’re doing the same date locations and things with them then again you’re not creating new experiences with her , but just replicating your old ones. This is great if you’re trying to find the most efficient way to bang a girl, but awful to really get invested in someone



Sounds ghey as **** but when I was in your shoes I missed the feeling of having a crush on someone, of waiting to see if they text back, on being excited to see them interested in you. I recommend breaking from apps and maybe trying to meet chicks more organically IF you want feelings

You're on your own path OP. If you feel like chit, maybe it's time to change something. I don't have THE solution for you, but maybe it's time to sit down and take an honest inventory of yourself. Don't rely on your feelings to judge the value of something, step into the shoes of someone you admire, and imagine how they would react to your actions/desires. Also, assume they want the best for you. From the right perspective, it is easy to tell what parts of our character are vices in our life. It just requires some uncomfortable honesty.

Casual sex and getting new women of course boost my self-steem. Thats no secret.

I was faithful until the last year when she started pushing me for marriage. Eventually she broke up with me cause I wasnt giving in. The whole idea of being with one woman until death scares the chit out of me. IDK why. Also Im not sure about having kids...

I didn't bother reading any responses because usually misc gives **** advice in these types of threads.


But I'm genuinely curious what you mean by finding something wrong with each woman?


Do you bring absolutely everything to the table in terms of being in a relationship?
Do the higher quality women YOUVE met recently ignore any of your short comings, and what short comings do you have?

Maybe you haven't met the type of woman you need. It's entirely possible. But ultimately the older you get, the more women will view you as someone who will not commit and you will fall further down this self given rabbit hole of loneliness

Are you projecting your fears of marriage by finding reasons to end these relationships?
We project ourselves in the relationships we surround ourselves with.

These are all questions you could ask yourself before we talk about anything more. Srs



Edit: just read some of the thread and you were asked some solid questions and given some great things to think about.

35 is pretty late in life to realize that you won't be happy just smanging random slores for the rest of your life.

Sounds like your depressed and have low self esteem. Almost like your scared of being vulnerable

lol no. I think nofap would make it worse. i'm just saying you're probably at the start of a major life-changing event and it takes time to process it all. i'd suggest just taking some time to sit down and think about what started bothering you about these people. is it the lifestyle? is it the lack of a connection? is it a lack of ambition? try to imagine what your perfect girl would be like and try to identify those traits. then look for those in the next person you date.

remember, just because it sucks now doesn't mean you are tired of the lifestyle. if you have pizza everyday for a month then pizza would sound horrible. a few weeks single and suddenly causal sex might be exactly what you want.

Well bro....before you start dating a new girl just be up front with her about that. It's not like you MUST get married. If the only thing standing between you and a happy domestic partnership is just the fear of being "locked down" in an official marriage contract, I think you are kind of crazy for not just being straight up with your partner.

If you KNOW you are going to bolt on these girls, or you KNOW its just going to be a casual fling, and you aren't telling them, or are leading them to believe you want something more serious - then you are just a selfish prick.

So tell the girls up front - have a happy life, don't feel the pressure of marriage.....done.

That'll be $300 please, I'll bill your insurance but your co-pay is $50.

Im also quite surprised about the quality answers ITT. I was expecting some try men or you are ******* kind of replies lol

By something wrong I meant something was missing in all of them. Not enough arse, not enough boobs, not enough facial aesthetics. But then Im not Chad so IDK why I think I deserve so much. I think I always find something that I don't like just as an excuse to run away when chit is going serious. Im a fukking mess.I know, but I could be even worse and Im trying to quit this toxic compulsive behavior before I hit 40.Im not depressed tho. Im kinda sad but depression is something else. I'm just mad that I can't get out of this compulsive behavior. I feel like a drug addict.Pizza is the only food I could eat forever lol but I got your point.
Women are not the problem. Iam. Most women are kind and good to me. I just cant let my guard down. Whenever I feel like Im starting to really like a girl I gtfo. Im a fukking pucci srs.