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Lost my brother to cancer this week. Can't get back to my job due to a covid.
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03-04-2021, 07:25 AM
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#1
03-04-2021, 07:27 AM
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#2
03-04-2021, 07:28 AM
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#3
03-04-2021, 07:30 AM
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#4
- Actonspur
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Originally Posted By tripod29⏩
Very srs.If srs, accept my condolences. Phook cancer.
Was only 38. Leaves a wife and 2 children behind.
First time I've ever seen a dead body. **** is awful.
Can't get back to my high paying job in Hong Kong due to needing to be with my family and 6 week quarantine covid restrictions.
Basically feeling sick 24/7 right now.
03-04-2021, 07:33 AM
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#5
Sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks- took my mom 8/19.
Grief + Lockdown = F*cking Sucks
Any chance you can take a vacation from RL? Is travel open? Maybe fly yourself to a sunny beach somewhere. Get some sunshine, nice warm breeze, music, a little exercise...
I read recently that when you are at a mental low you should treat yourself like it is a sick day with lots of rest, comforting entertainment, and food. <3
Grief + Lockdown = F*cking Sucks
Any chance you can take a vacation from RL? Is travel open? Maybe fly yourself to a sunny beach somewhere. Get some sunshine, nice warm breeze, music, a little exercise...
I read recently that when you are at a mental low you should treat yourself like it is a sick day with lots of rest, comforting entertainment, and food. <3
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03-04-2021, 07:34 AM
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#6
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Lost my aunt to cancer too. Woman was like a mother to me. Three days after that I lost my dog. I feel you bro.
Honestly can't think of any advice. Was gonna say try to get busy with work then I remember you can't because of covid.
Dunno if you a gamer, but you might wanna try it. I'm big on gaming but honestly when my aunt and dog passed away, even gaming didn't help.
Honestly only time will heal you. Stay strong boyo.
fuk cancer man
Honestly can't think of any advice. Was gonna say try to get busy with work then I remember you can't because of covid.
Dunno if you a gamer, but you might wanna try it. I'm big on gaming but honestly when my aunt and dog passed away, even gaming didn't help.
Honestly only time will heal you. Stay strong boyo.
fuk cancer man
03-04-2021, 07:37 AM
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#7
- Actonspur
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
Nope no travel. The cuck UK government in their infinite wisdom believes that a couple of hundred old and very sick people dying a day from a flu means everyone should just be shut in until we all die from depression.Sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks- took my mom 8/19.
Grief + Lockdown = F*cking Sucks
Any chance you can take a vacation from RL? Is travel open? Maybe fly yourself to a sunny beach somewhere. Get some sunshine, nice warm breeze, music, a little exercise...
I read recently that when you are at a mental low you should treat yourself like it is a sick day with lots of rest, comforting entertainment, and food. <3
Grief + Lockdown = F*cking Sucks
Any chance you can take a vacation from RL? Is travel open? Maybe fly yourself to a sunny beach somewhere. Get some sunshine, nice warm breeze, music, a little exercise...
I read recently that when you are at a mental low you should treat yourself like it is a sick day with lots of rest, comforting entertainment, and food. <3
03-04-2021, 07:41 AM
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#8
- blindsideflank
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Covid will pass, there is an end in site and things will get better.
As for your brother, that’s terrible, take your time to grieve but also remember your brother would want you to try your best to recover from this. You can also find meaning in making sure you are still there as an uncle. You will have one of the biggest influences of a father figure on them. Think about how you can step up into that role.
Think about a yearly camping trip for them with you. Send them gifts with notes about how you and their dad loved these toys when you were their age. Stuff like that. Grieve first of course but this will come with time.
As for your brother, that’s terrible, take your time to grieve but also remember your brother would want you to try your best to recover from this. You can also find meaning in making sure you are still there as an uncle. You will have one of the biggest influences of a father figure on them. Think about how you can step up into that role.
Think about a yearly camping trip for them with you. Send them gifts with notes about how you and their dad loved these toys when you were their age. Stuff like that. Grieve first of course but this will come with time.
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03-04-2021, 07:44 AM
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#9
03-04-2021, 07:45 AM
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#10
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Chit one mate. Cancer is a kunt and has took many close ones from me over the years and will take many more no doubt. Just keep your head up and find something to keep you busy. Take up some form of exercise, gaming if you're any way interested in it can be a nice break from reality also. I tend to resort to old habits when I'm on your boat, which usually doesn't bode well. Try to stay away from alcohol/drugs if you are any way inclined.
03-04-2021, 07:46 AM
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#11
- RoxyFoxy22
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I lost my dad when I was smaller, so I can understand the pain of losing someone you love. There is not a single day that goes by without thinking how would it be like if he was still next to us, how things would have been in general, how proud he would be about what we managed to do. I light candles in my house all the time and I know he is watching me from above.
The reason to live is to make your brother proud of who you are. Pain seems unbearable right now,I know, but it will feel less worse in time. Give yourself time to heal, it´s normal to feel what you feel right now, there is enough on your plate. I wish you know how worthy you are of being happy, it will not always be like this, op.
Please do not give up life, you deserve so much more and so much better than what life gave you right now. May your brother rest with the angels and I wish your family peace and love.
The reason to live is to make your brother proud of who you are. Pain seems unbearable right now,I know, but it will feel less worse in time. Give yourself time to heal, it´s normal to feel what you feel right now, there is enough on your plate. I wish you know how worthy you are of being happy, it will not always be like this, op.
Please do not give up life, you deserve so much more and so much better than what life gave you right now. May your brother rest with the angels and I wish your family peace and love.
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03-04-2021, 07:50 AM
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#12
Originally Posted By Actonspur⏩
Nope no travel. The cuck UK government in their infinite wisdom believes that a couple of hundred old and very sick people dying a day from a flu means everyone should just be shut in until we all die from depression.
I don't know if deep grieving is new to you, or if it is any help at all, but grief is often described as coming in waves. As time passes the waves get farther apart.
To me the worst part at the beginning feels more like stomach flu- all this pain spewing out and you just want it to stop. Sometimes it seems like it will never end.
But it will. That specific wavewill end. And you will go on until the next one. Until eventually the waves aren't quite as bad. They don't last as long or hurt quite as much. You may even begin to feel more bitter-sweetness, feeling the good emotions around better times while also sad that they are gone.
For me it seems to take about 2 years based on personal experience.
How long was your brother sick? Did he suffer through sickness and treatments? Would he have agreed to feeling very bad for a year or two if he knew that it would pass and he would find a new normal? A life on the other side?
Hold on. Be kind to yourself. When it hits ride it out knowing it will pass.
Someday you can find a new normal.
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03-04-2021, 07:54 AM
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#13
03-04-2021, 07:56 AM
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#14
- CellyTech
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
I don't know if deep grieving is new to you, or if it is any help at all, but grief is often described as coming in waves. As time passes the waves get farther apart.
To me the worst part at the beginning feels more like stomach flu- all this pain spewing out and you just want it to stop. Sometimes it seems like it will never end.
But it will. That specific wavewill end. And you will go on until the next one. Until eventually the waves aren't quite as bad. They don't last as long or hurt quite as much. You may even begin to feel more bitter-sweetness, feeling the good emotions around better times while also sad that they are gone.
For me it seems to take about 2 years based on personal experience.
How long was your brother sick? Did he suffer through sickness and treatments? Would he have agreed to feeling very bad for a year or two if he knew that it would pass and he would find a new normal? A life on the other side?
Hold on. Be kind to yourself. When it hits ride it out knowing it will pass.
Someday you can find a new normal.
Good post. All very true.I don't know if deep grieving is new to you, or if it is any help at all, but grief is often described as coming in waves. As time passes the waves get farther apart.
To me the worst part at the beginning feels more like stomach flu- all this pain spewing out and you just want it to stop. Sometimes it seems like it will never end.
But it will. That specific wavewill end. And you will go on until the next one. Until eventually the waves aren't quite as bad. They don't last as long or hurt quite as much. You may even begin to feel more bitter-sweetness, feeling the good emotions around better times while also sad that they are gone.
For me it seems to take about 2 years based on personal experience.
How long was your brother sick? Did he suffer through sickness and treatments? Would he have agreed to feeling very bad for a year or two if he knew that it would pass and he would find a new normal? A life on the other side?
Hold on. Be kind to yourself. When it hits ride it out knowing it will pass.
Someday you can find a new normal.
03-04-2021, 08:04 AM
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#15
Your Brother would want you to find a way and reasons to go on. If you did something drastic like suicide, his Ghost or Spirit or whatever you want to think of Him as would be in anguish.
Push through this bullsh!t and live well for Him.
Push through this bullsh!t and live well for Him.
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03-04-2021, 08:08 AM
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#16
- DizzySmalls
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Oh God the nausea of permanent loss is something truly terrible. Your body knows deeply that things are not alright and will not be whole ever again
If you have a good relationship with your brother's family, remember that they will be taking it the hardest and probably need support
If you have a good relationship with your brother's family, remember that they will be taking it the hardest and probably need support
03-04-2021, 08:08 AM
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#17
- hydraides
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Originally Posted By Actonspur⏩
Bro you can travel. I travelled from UK to Thailand Two weeks ago, No police or checks are the airport.........Media just trying to scare you..........You do have to pay £800 for quarantine before you can enter thailand thoughNope no travel. The cuck UK government in their infinite wisdom believes that a couple of hundred old and very sick people dying a day from a flu means everyone should just be shut in until we all die from depression.
What cancer did you brother die of?
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03-04-2021, 08:19 AM
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#18
- envied09
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Originally Posted By Hutrapper⏩
this. tough times dont last, they never do. there will be better days ahead. stay away from drugs/booze right now and focus on good food , entertainment, exercise, things that make you happy.Night is darkest just before the dawn.
You will get through it.
You will get through it.
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03-04-2021, 08:20 AM
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#19
03-04-2021, 04:59 PM
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#20
- Samraiwise
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I'm sorry about your loss. That's something you never get used to however long you may live. Please try to cherish the memories of your brother and think about what he wants you to have in your life.
I believe one of his last wishes was the happiness of people he had to left behind, that including yours.
Please change the direction of your thought, again remember what your brother really wished for you. *bow*
I believe one of his last wishes was the happiness of people he had to left behind, that including yours.
Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
This is a good thinking. When something like this happens most likely there are always other people who are also affected as much as you are. Helping others helps oneself.Oh God the nausea of permanent loss is something truly terrible. Your body knows deeply that things are not alright and will not be whole ever again
If you have a good relationship withyour brother's family, remember that they will be taking it the hardest and probably need support
If you have a good relationship withyour brother's family, remember that they will be taking it the hardest and probably need support
Please change the direction of your thought, again remember what your brother really wished for you. *bow*
🌺 Lauren Brooks Kelly (snailsrus) - Jul 25, 1991 – Jan 29, 2022
Thread: RIP Snails : https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=181070293&page=100
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03-04-2021, 05:05 PM
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#21
03-04-2021, 05:06 PM
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#22
03-04-2021, 05:06 PM
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#23
03-04-2021, 07:04 PM
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#24
- Samraiwise
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Originally Posted By RoxyFoxy22⏩
Thanks for sharing, m'lady.I lost my dad when I was smaller, so I can understand the pain of losing someone you love. There is not a single day that goes by without thinking how would it be like if he was still next to us, how things would have been in general, how proud he would be about what we managed to do. I light candles in my house all the time and I know he is watching me from above.
The reason to live is to make your brother proud of who you are. Pain seems unbearable right now,I know, but it will feel less worse in time. Give yourself time to heal, it´s normal to feel what you feel right now, there is enough on your plate. I wish you know how worthy you are of being happy, it will not always be like this, op.
Please do not give up life, you deserve so much more and so much better than what life gave you right now. May your brother rest with the angels and I wish your family peace and love.
The reason to live is to make your brother proud of who you are. Pain seems unbearable right now,I know, but it will feel less worse in time. Give yourself time to heal, it´s normal to feel what you feel right now, there is enough on your plate. I wish you know how worthy you are of being happy, it will not always be like this, op.
Please do not give up life, you deserve so much more and so much better than what life gave you right now. May your brother rest with the angels and I wish your family peace and love.
As long as you keep thinking like you are doing he stays with you and that's real.
Your father must be proud of you and smiling right now.
🌺 Lauren Brooks Kelly (snailsrus) - Jul 25, 1991 – Jan 29, 2022
Thread: RIP Snails : https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=181070293&page=100
⭐ Samurai Break: 140kg(308lb) Failed Bench Press Recovery Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8eIkpZ29u0
⭐ Over 35 Journals > Samurai, Without Ever Having Felt Sorry For Itself:
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=4832373&page=200
📌 Please Call me Kaz, a 65-year-old 🥋 Karate Kid in Tokyo.
03-05-2021, 07:30 PM
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#25
- blindsideflank
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Bump
How you doing today bro?
How you doing today bro?
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03-06-2021, 05:32 AM
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#26
03-06-2021, 05:34 AM
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#27
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Start your own business in your brothers name with skills that you already know and he will live on
03-06-2021, 05:34 AM
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#28
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Bro I want to get a different job, I dont like my coworkers and Im miserable but you are going through some really hard times. I hope you will find a way out of all of this. Rest in peace to your bro
03-06-2021, 05:41 AM
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#29
- Dennis71
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OP. Stay strong. What would your brother have wanted you to do?
From my perspective.
Had I been in your brother's shoes. I'd want my brother's to stay strong and grow from the loss.
Best of luck during these times.
From my perspective.
Had I been in your brother's shoes. I'd want my brother's to stay strong and grow from the loss.
Best of luck during these times.
Misc'in since '07
2x cancer survivor
03-06-2021, 06:07 AM
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#30
That is heartbreaking, I'm sorry. When my dad died I was completely broken for a month, like couldn't do anything at all. Then for about 1-2 years i felt like absolute **** 24/7 and was pretty useless but was still able to hold down a job and do the basics, able to go through the motions. But over time perspective changes, you will always be sad they're gone but at some point you understand life is precious and short and being depressed is just a waste of the short time we have.
Your brother lives on in his kids. They are 50% him. Not everyone here will agree but the point of life from a biological POV is to procreate. If you want to do good by your brother you need to stay living, his children have lost their father they've going to be broken, losing their uncle would just amplify the damage so much more and they don't deserve that. Your brother doesn't deserve that either, he deserves for you to help him out and stay alive for his kids and when you're able to help them out. You need to guide them. They need a male role model, if you're able to do that for them you should. You don't have to be active in their life day to day but they need someone to look up to, who is doing the right things and can set an example for them. Taking your own life will not do that. You'll be throwing away their future and that is a slap in the face to your brother.
Your brother lives on in his kids. They are 50% him. Not everyone here will agree but the point of life from a biological POV is to procreate. If you want to do good by your brother you need to stay living, his children have lost their father they've going to be broken, losing their uncle would just amplify the damage so much more and they don't deserve that. Your brother doesn't deserve that either, he deserves for you to help him out and stay alive for his kids and when you're able to help them out. You need to guide them. They need a male role model, if you're able to do that for them you should. You don't have to be active in their life day to day but they need someone to look up to, who is doing the right things and can set an example for them. Taking your own life will not do that. You'll be throwing away their future and that is a slap in the face to your brother.
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