Every day? Every few days?

I'm trying to keep things going with a girl who lives in another country. We have been traveling together like once per month lately, and I'm obviously trying to keep this arrangement going for the foreseeable future without being too clingy. In the past I've usually had a lot of casual relationships that fizzle out after a month or two, and I am interested in making this work and don't have a ton of experience with anything even remotely longterm.

I'm not the type of guy who wants to talk or videochat every day(would love to be able to send a text on some of the days and be done with it), but I realize daily calls might be necessary to keep this type of thing viable. Misc usually knows the deal with this type of stuff, so I'm wondering the frequency of contact for guys who have made these things work.

Entirely dependent on the relationship, but pretty much every day for my attempt at it.

If you don’t want to video chat every day then it’s totally acceptable to communicate that; it’s far better you tell her that then the inevitable burnout where she’s excited to talk and you want to be left alone. She’ll notice you don’t want to talk, won’t have context, maybe take it personally, you’ll feel bad, it’s a mess.

Much better to say it up front.

Distance typically exaggerates any issue, insecurity, or really any relationship problem that may have gotten swept under the rug for a few months/years if distance wasn’t an issue.

Do you text some days though and be done with it?

The feeling I get is that my girl isn't big on texting and she would much rather talk. Usually our text conversations are no more than 3-4 comments, when she could easily talk for 20-30 minutes every day. I am expecting her to start planning our next trip(in 3 weeks) and have reminded her a couple times already and I don't think she's done it although she is sitting at home with nothing to do.

I'm planning on getting drunk tomorrow for St Patricks day, so that's probably a better time to call anyways. But this seems like a good time to also maybe ease back on communication to gauge her level of interest in keeping things going.

Definitely a win on her wanting to talk vs texting imo. At least you’re not getting 20 texts in a row all day long.

Anyways it still sounds like you’re asking if it’s okay. Yes it’s 100% okay and a bad way to approach it is to just ignore her calls and expect her to be okay with it. A good way is to tell her that every now and then you’ll need a day when you don’t want to talk on the phone; that you’re there for an emergency but otherwise you just want to do your own thing. Then when you do need a day, tell her, and don’t worry about it. Easy

It’s perfectly reasonable. If she absolutely needs to have that conversation every day and you don’t then it’s good you’re figuring that out.

Setting reasonable boundaries is always good. Respecting each other’s boundaries is also always good.

Not gonna get into the trip thing. But it’s the same problem you’re having with the text thing in a different form.