Happy Birthday Big Boy!! Remember that time we were using my moms measuring tape to measure our gains? And once we ran out of muscles to measure the only thing left was to measure our cocks? So first we did it flacid but the numbers weren't very impressive so we decided we better try it with boners. But you were shy and didn't wanna jerk it in front of me to get hard so you asked if I could do it for you?! lol and then I was still bigger so you said it was because I give ****ty hand jobs! haha anyways I cant wait to get drunk with you later and measure our dicks! Love you buddy




I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore would make a great choice for a breeding partner. I must ask though, How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light discourse?


There’s another one about a black guy being aesthetic and nice looking I can’t find it

Wot

Here is the mothership

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...qmG1egsG1wK6I/

In!

why do ricecels even try?


short legs. short arms. JFL life is a cruel joke.

Joe Biden died of a brain aneurysm in 1988. they managed to reanimate his corpse and fill it with certain radio devices which enable it to be piloted from a remote location. the relay device inside his brain allows an operator to feed him lines, but it has its limitations due to the fact that all transmitters must be placed inside the skull as to avoid any suspicion a surface-mounted antenna may cause. likewise, if they had simply placed a speaker in his mouth to imitate speech, people may notice, so they use the actual vocal chords controlled by the brain. they accomplish this by wiring into the part of the brain that comes up with words before you say them. this process is also not without its bugs, due to the nature of the brain. important to note is that this puppet is a fully-functioning body of a man, only without a soul. Biden's soul was confirmed to be in hell soon after the reanimation process was successful. remember this next time you watch him speak.

Looool

Penis size should be a volumetric measurement

Let me explain, Western culture has popularised the outdated unit of inches as the common benchmark for comparing penis size. However, it’s 2021 now, we are advancing towards being a multi planetary species; a single axis measurement for a 3D object all of us possess is medieval, and simply not fit for current use.

I suggest a new unit; millimeters - however if this becomes commonly adopted I wish to be credited, please state the unit of penis size as Venus penis points as I am certain I am the first individual to suggest this.

The new methodology of measuring penis should be as followed;

1) The penis is inserted into a measuring cup until it cannot be inserted further.

2) The volume of liquid displaced should equal penis volume.

3) Complete the conversion; 1ml of displaced penis water = 1 Venus penis point.

Please, help me abolish this out dated system - it wrongly paints a world of penis size based on length; perhaps residents of higher than average African nations have gained an unfair advantage over our Asian brothers; we are using a RACIST system based on length not volume to discriminate penises worldwide.

Brojob!!

ho lee fuk. That’s a lot of content

Your mother is a whore and the daughter of a whore. Your father was likely her brother, but could have been any of her cousins. I'd have a second deliver a card on a silver platter, but your kind generally wouldn't understand it, and doesn't deserve much more than a dog-whipping anyway. You havn't got a clue. You couldn't get a clue if you smeared yourself with clue musk and danced the clue mating dance in a field full of horny clues in clue mating season. Your eyebrows meet in the middle, your forehead slopes, your pet gerbil wants you dead. Your mother would dress you funny if she could afford clothes. You're the primary reason bigots hate your ethnic group. You were obviously not toilet-trained correctly, which explains the stains on the floor of your cardboard box. Your webbed feet go well with the pointy forehead. Your manners are hideous, your brain minute, and your body odor could fell an ox. You would fit in on a short bus to a convention of Fundies.You are a living, breathing poster-child for birth-control and abortion.You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?You are a waste of flesh, food and air. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, abrasive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.Go pee in an electrical outlet.