So I'm somehow a guy in his mid 30s giving it a first try at actually putting together a relationship.

I've been traveling with a girl every month, and we have now spent about 30ish days together and communicated on the phone every day since then. The first trip was fantastic, and the last one was terrible. After a couple days she would pick away at me and eventually caused me to snap, and from this point on she basically treated me as a doormat and knew I was weak and she walked all over me.

I realized that she clearly had the upper hand a few weeks ago(and knew it, at least subconsciously), and decided that I needed to either go no contact or change my approach. So I've mixed things up from being very nice at one moment, to unpredictable, to sometimes aggressive and completely keeping her off guard. She made a couple mistakes last week with a trip we were planning that cost me money, and I rightfully talked a lot of chit to her. She ended up booking another trip and going by herself after I told her I couldn't go anymore because of work commitments. And now after a couple days, I'm telling her that I will actually fly to her.

I absolutely can't stand being manipulative and a chitty person like this, but goddamn is it better for my mental health and her overall level of respect for me.

Is this really the way you have to deal with women? Keep them completely second guessing everything so they can't really think outside of their personal situation and are completely focused on you?

If so, maybe I'll keep doing it. Or hopefully she'll respect me enough after a little more of this that I can go back to being a nice guy.

Bump to get it above the spam

I don't get how you getting mad at her and then her going without you, "alone", and then you putting your tail between your legs and flying there is somehow winning...

Its still beta status.

Nah, I got mad at her because she made a really dumb mistake causing us to have to cancel a trip we were supposed to leave on yesterday. She couldn't do a layover in the US, and we ended up having to cancel a week of hotels that I paid for. This was the first time I've ever seen this girl experience guilt and shame since we've been hanging out, and I poked her to make it a little worse.

She actually re-booked the trip for the both of us right away because she felt so guilty after, and then I told her last minute that I couldn't go anymore for work. Now she's there, and my work schedule cleared up and have now booked a trip to meet her, and she's all messed up in the head and actually communicating and respecting me for the first time since our last trip.

It's definitely not beta. Beta was when I was getting manipulated and stepped on. I'm the one in complete control now.

Seems like a lot of turmoil for a newish relationship. Definitely not normal.

Some girls are nice/simple/easy to get along with. They're not doormats but they don't start drama unnecessarily. You obviously don't have one of those. She's not long term wifey material, but have fun while it last OP. Just realize it is going to end sooner or later.

Got past the first paragraph and threw up in my mouth and had to swallow it. You enter the relationship as a ******* and she will leave you as a *******.