So I was driving around today, windows down, music up, enjoying my Friday and trying to complete my last mission for the afternoon.

You see after contemplating over a beer on the porch yesterday, I decided that I am a slave to NO man, not even Father Time. So I said fk it, I’m gonna go to her place of work and tell her how I feel rather than lose the memory of my perfect ex gf.


So I’m flying down the street fueled by the sounds of panama by Van Halen and the feeling of love and this fkn cop turns on the blue lights. I give him the pros: like the fact that she has an amazing angus (can squat 4 plates ez), gave out blowies like your grandma gives out wethers originals, and always smelled nice.

He seems unconvinced but he had a kind face, so I also let him know the cons: being that her face isnt the best, she was kinda slooty, and had ugly feet.

And you know what he does? Fkn writes me a ticket?! I think he’s trying to steal her from be boyos what do??

sometimes I really do think of doing the same but then I'm also so close to forgetting her for good and moving on that it takes all of my willpower not to.

DONT do it, next thing you know officer steal yo girl is gonna be coming through your hood too