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Forum » Unpopular opinion: You can stay friends with an ex
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Thread: Unpopular opinion: You can stay friends with an ex

post 1640589253 06-10-2021, 10:58 AM
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Unpopular opinion: You can stay friends with an ex

So I was out with two friends last night and one of them mentioned he's gonna meet an ex-gf for coffee this weekend. They've been broken up for maybe 4 months or something. Other friend immediately calls him a retard and says you should cut all contact with exes, no exceptions. I take the first friend's side and here's why.

I'm still friends with 2 exes. Now, with one of them, it's more like we say happy birthday and have a general catch-up maybe once or twice a year. With the other one, we regularly send memes and just have casual conversations. We never talk about the relationship we had or getting back together or any chit like that, it's just good chats.

Now, maybe it's not the best idea to not do a little NC immediately after a break-up but this advice that everybody throws out about how exes are the devil is bullchit.

For your time:

post 1640589413 06-10-2021, 11:00 AM
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You can if you were never really emotionally invested in them in the first place. There's a few I like letting them know I'm happy for them, but the problem is it probably really just bothers them. It's always one sided. I feel a genuine, "hey sorry it didn't work out, hope you have a great life" but they haven't so....
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post 1640589543 06-10-2021, 11:01 AM
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If you're 100% over her and don't care if she's getting plowed by other guys or bring them with her when you hang out, then sure.
But most exes are toxic af and a lot of times, there's always some lingering feelings or resentment. Rarely is a break up ever clean.

If 2 people split because of equal reasons like distance/focussing on career etc, and you meet 10 years later, sure why not.
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post 1640589663 06-10-2021, 11:02 AM
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Agree.

I still talk to a few, and could call all but maybe a couple up to chat if I wanted. One calls me for advice every so often.


there is one however I despise. Would unplug her life support to charge my phone.
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post 1640589733 06-10-2021, 11:03 AM
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If time has gone by maybe.

I disagree overall though.
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post 1640589793 06-10-2021, 11:03 AM
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i wish i hadn't burned bridges with every ex so i could smash them occasionally tbh
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post 1640590063 06-10-2021, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted By Hutrapper⏩
Agree.

I still talk to a few, and could call all but maybe a couple up to chat if I wanted. One calls me for advice every so often.


there is one however I despise. Would unplug her life support to charge my phone.
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post 1640590113 06-10-2021, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted By Hutrapper⏩
there is one however I despise. Would unplug her life support to charge my phone.
Lmao.
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post 1640590123 06-10-2021, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted By bov188⏩
Date will end with her mouth on his penis. Guaranteed.
idk he didn't make it sound like he was planning to smash. Guess I'll find out
post 1640590303 06-10-2021, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
i wish i hadn't burned bridges with every ex so i could smash them occasionally tbh
this. or their friends
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post 1640590363 06-10-2021, 11:09 AM
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Depends on the situation but I just don’t understand why you’d want to be

Her next bf would constantly size you up and your next gf will have issue with any exes still in the picture.

How can you even go back to being friends if you ever were talking feelings and being romantic
post 1640590473 06-10-2021, 11:10 AM
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Originally Posted By Ratfish⏩
i wish i hadn't burned bridges with every ex so i could smash them occasionally tbh
Smashing is nice but i would never give up my pride or principles just to smash an ex if they did you nasty.
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post 1640590643 06-10-2021, 11:12 AM
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Would you be cool with your girl be cool with her exs? Let them have coffee with them on the weekend or go to a bar with them? Come over to your house and chill like "friends"?
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post 1640590663 06-10-2021, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted By backinthegymbro⏩
Smashing is nice but i would never give up my pride or principles just to smash an ex if they did you nasty.
in reality, i could only smash them if they hadn't been smashed by anyone else after, so after a few weeks they're useless anyway
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post 1640590783 06-10-2021, 11:14 AM
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Its possible but not worth it
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post 1640591023 06-10-2021, 11:16 AM
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It's a total waste of time unless you're trying to make them into a FWB.
post 1640592503 06-10-2021, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted By DBoyDaRealest⏩
Depends on the situation but I just don’t understand why you’d want to be

Her next bf would constantly size you up and your next gf will have issue with any exes still in the picture.

How can you even go back to being friends if you ever were talking feelings and being romantic
True about the following relationships. I can see why some people would be suspicious of exes.

As far as going to friends from romance, in my personal case it was that we were incompatible as a couple in all the important ways and probably should've been friends to begin with, so it wasn't that hard
post 1640592593 06-10-2021, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted By atomicbbgum⏩
Would you be cool with your girl be cool with her exs? Let them have coffee with them on the weekend or go to a bar with them? Come over to your house and chill like "friends"?
I mean, there's obviously gonna be boundaries when you're in a new relationship. It's one thing to meet for coffee, it's something else to drink wine and watch a movie in the exes house or something
post 1640592703 06-10-2021, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted By Donny2Yucky⏩
naw, people like that u gotta chitcan. don't waste time trying to maintain mediocre friendships/relationships.

people who have a history of treating you badly will continue that pattern. they will take advantage of u.

move on and find better people for u.
That's a fair point if there was cheating or some other toxic chit involved.

But if it's a case of distance, incompatibility, bad timing, etc, it's different
post 1640592993 06-10-2021, 11:37 AM
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post 1640593143 06-10-2021, 11:40 AM
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post 1640593373 06-10-2021, 11:43 AM
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Nah fuk that. My exes are exes for a reason and I don't need to talk to them toxic bitches ever again.
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post 1640593603 06-10-2021, 11:46 AM
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only if i want a quick smash, bj, or nudez... and definitely not hanging out anywhere in public lol
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post 1640593693 06-10-2021, 11:48 AM
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If you genuinely want a platonic relationship with a female (with exclusion of monkeybranching), there's something wrong with you mentally
post 1640594603 06-10-2021, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted By GayCumLord⏩
If you genuinely want a platonic relationship with a female (with exclusion of monkeybranching), there's something wrong with you mentally
post 1640594813 06-10-2021, 12:03 PM
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Originally Posted By GayCumLord⏩
If you genuinely want a platonic relationship with a female (with exclusion of monkeybranching), there's something wrong with you mentally
This is correct.
post 1640594853 06-10-2021, 12:04 PM
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post 1640595173 06-10-2021, 12:07 PM
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post 1640595243 06-10-2021, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted By BigElephant⏩
I don't see the point. Her purpose and value to your life (being a sexual or life partner) is over.
In my case, I think it's because I don't really let many people get close, so the ones that I have let in have earned a spot. Does that make sense?
post 1640595303 06-10-2021, 12:10 PM
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I've made exes fwbs but could never hang out with or take them seriously. Their only purpose in my life is a zero effort nut.
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