My mom has stage IV cancer and i dont know what to do w myself. Feeling depressed, over thinking, sad, spending all my time reading about prognosis etc. according to Google she has a 14% chance of living 5 more years. Always been healthy, her parents are almost 90 and both still alive. Never saw this coming.

Anyone with experience have any tips on how to deal with negative emotions & over thinking? This is the Worst feeling ever.

you start sucking up to them so they leave all their money to you when they die

Deep breaths, distractions that make you happy, positive thinking etc. Negative emotions are just chemical reactions in the brain, don’t give them any energy or they will fester and increase.

Doctors are wrong a lot. Be there for your mom and hope for the best. Lots of people defy the odds and go on to live happy lives.

Fortunately I have never experienced this. The Overthinking and negative emotions suck hang in there with that I feel you. Best thing you can do is spend a lot of time with her and try to search up solutions. Try to look for various diets and they could actually really help her out a lot.

Prayers op



Tough spot

Do yourself a favor and look into the business of chemotherapy and cancer in general


Make a decision based on that

In my personal opinion if I get cancer at a late stage I’m not going through chemo or surgery


It’s up to your mother in the end

Stay strong brother

My mother has pretty advanced cancer that is affecting her bone marrow, among other things. You really don’t “deal with it”, just take it one day at a time.

Prayers OP.

Cancer is basically the default way to die if nothing else gets you first. It's understandable you're going through a spiral of emotions. The only thing to realize is that we all die. Everyone has their time, and it always seems shocking and too soon when it comes. But it is a part of life -- an inevitable part. You just have to tell yourself you will get through it. It will hurt, but you will continue on, until one day, you meet your end as well. Try to remember the good times and cherish the time you have left.

As someone who has had cancer, I'll say two things OP:

1. Realize that she's probably at least partly worried about you and being a burden on you and less concerned about herself. Do whatever you can to ease those worries for her by doing what you can reasonably do to fulfill whatever dreams of hers she had for you while she's alive. Also, try to make new memories that you'll cherish instead of worrying each day. Easier said than done, I know.

2. Realize that nothing is impossible and people do come back when the chips are stacked against them.

Best of luck with everything, OP. This is really hard no matter what and I'm still glad to this day that I got cancer instead of one of my loved ones because I know from experience how hard it is even for people around you who aren't going through treatment.

Just be there for her and make whatever time she has here enjoyable and happy

My mother had ovarian cancer, lived with it for nearly 5 years before passing away a month ago.

In my experience I always thought it could be anywhere between a month and a year before she would die, from the first day she was diagnosed.

The best advice I can give is do not let the worry and stress dictate how you live the years, instead embrace that every day is a gift you can spend with your loved one. Even though they have cancer they can still have a very fulfilled life, don't let the worry and stress replace that.

Is she in a hospital or at home? As long as they think she won't live that long, why not try something like keto, or megadosing MSM? Maybe read up on that (for your mom not you). What about red light therapy? Get a device with red and infrared and blast that chit on her (it's safe but read up on it).

Be present for her. Spend as much quality time with her as you can.

If she gets sick, invest in some board games, scrabble etc to play with her.

When the end eventually does come, it can still be overwhelming even if you know it’s coming. So, give yourself a pass for that.

Source: recently went through this, cancer is a bi!ch of a disease. Can take the healthy and the young.

Spend time with her. Make arrangements so you're not cucked by some predator.

Everyone over 60 has cancer. Some more advanced than others.

Meh Idk, I had an aunt die who was my second mom apparently but by the time she died I kind of already considered her long foe for betraying me. I took it especially hard with her as legit considered her like my second mom. So what happened to me in my eyes was unacceptable tj me. However? Apparently I have an aunt in Florida the one who’s husband is a pro golfer... ex pro golfer I should say and own a golf course? She apparently got cancer which in my mind sucks cuz she would have been like my second closest relative in line behind my second mom who’s apparently already dead. So idk how much longer she has left, which kind of cancer she has or when she’d got it at all. Kinda do miss fishing with her husband too in Florida. That was dope.

Idk I’ve been estranged so I don’t or haven’t really talked to them as of recent tj find out what’s going on. Is probably on that side of my fam, the second mom the only one I really consider a foe. So to speak but i still don’t know what’s gone on with them. Idk man aunt Nike used tj me dope

Stay strong homie and spend as much time as you can with her. Take selfie’s, with her, randomly take her out to lunch/dinner and hug her and tell her you love her.

Thoughts and prayers out to you bro for a miracle!

Stay positive.

As someone who already lost one parent to cancer and currently going through it again with the other, the absolute best piece of advice I can give is to spend as much quality time with your mom as you possibly can. Make new memories, take pictures, go out and do fun things (whatever she is physically able to do, even if it's just dinner at a restaurant or something simple like that), and cherish every moment you get to spend with her, even when treatments (if she goes the chemo/radiation route) are wearing her down and it pains you to see her suffering. Trust me, you will NEVER regret taking the time to do this.

Do you have kids OP? If so make sure to involve them as much as possible as well.

remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

I'm sorry to hear brah

For what it's worth if it were me I would be on intermittent fasting, keto, and weed. Along with DHA fish oil supps.

Lost my mom at age 11 to lung cancer. She fought longer and harder than any doctor thought possible for us. Medicine was much worse back then and we were dirt poor.

There's always hope, but prepare for the worst.

Everything is gonna be alright brah please believe me. I’ve experienced the same thing you’re going through and it’s gonna be ok. PM me your email and I’ll give you my personal story.

Definitely a tough time.
Hard way to be reminded that life is not fair.

Don't have any advice to deal with the emotions. Cancer is a Rollercoaster ride for everyone involved. [Emotionally speaking]


Wish you and your family luck.

I’m so so sorry op. I definitely know how you feel. Wish I could give you a big hug. My sister has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. When they found it, she was already stage 4. She’ll be starting yet another new HER2 chemo drug next two week. She’s been on all the other ones. They work for a while, and then her cancer comes back. At this stage it’s basically treat, remission, repeat. I was just on the phone with her night before last while she cried. Her latest PET-scan showed new tumors, thus the new treatment and it’s not looking good. It’s so hard hearing someone you love cry because they don’t know if they’re going to get another 5 years of life and they don’t want to die. I told her how much I loved her, how much she means to our family. Reassured her I’m here for her for anything she needs. I stay strong for her. I cry my tears when she can’t see me. And you’ll probably do the same. You’re going to go through the whole spectrum of emotions just like your mom. The best advice I can give is for your mom to connect with support groups, with people fighting the same battle she is. My sister’s support groups have made a huge impact for her.
<3

sorry to hear OP. some srs advice i can offer:

- ensure that her quality of life is maximized to give her body the best chance at longer survival with best functionality and quality of life. examples of this include: quit job if she has one, nutrition and hydration are key- i can't stress this enough. there are good books on eating with cancer- get one and force her to eat alot of great quality foods and stay well hydrated. nonweight bearing exercise- i.e. yoga, cardio, etc.. just living the healthiest best possible lifestyle as financially possible.

- before you make a decision on treatment- make sure to look up clinical trial options for her condition. there are many innovative treatments that you can only get on a trial. if she has Stage IV terminal cancer then any standard chemo they offer her is not meant to cure but just to slow the rate of progression. standard chemo is rarely a game changer, a clinical trial CAN be (not saying it always is).

- get her affairs in order. most people don't have this done and they get blindsided by a terminal diagnosis and before they know it- they are not in a capacity to do this and it's too late and will cause drama/disagreements between whoever feels they are entitled to certain decisions and "things."

sorry that you are going through this, i know it's an emotional time, but try to make rational decisions during this time as they can make a tremendous impact on the outcome.