I'll give a little glimpse of what my drinking looked like. Here's how the diamond hard boiiis look like when they go all out.

Day 1 - Thirsty Thursday "MFer... I worked all damn week in the oil field, 14 hours a day in the elements... I DESERVE THIS. I make bankkkkk 5 Tinder dates waitinggg"

Day 2 - Friday morning... hungover af... on my days off.... "well Im going to meet up with the boyos and get yucky later anyways.... busted a nut...eye of the tiger reduced..so F it.. Morning beer showers!! (Lmfao, like lmfao!!!! cept nobody was laughing.) Keep my s* together enough to meet with friends. Late night nut.

Day 3 - Body like kind of gives up or something... really dehydrated, looking "skinny"... hey great, I'm going to get some p*** tonight because I'm looking good down a few lbs. Sloppy drink b/c of day drinking by 8pm. Blacked out. Zero slooties looking my direction.

Day 4 - Sunday.... brosss quit being a btch! Get ready...Sunday Funday.
Come on bros... you gotta prepare for the week, and take it easy. Beer and soft stuff all day. It's boating / pool day.

Day 5 - Wake up starting to shake... "I'm just going to have an eye opener. Faurrrkkkkk! I went through my 3 handles and 2 cases...and went to the bar. GOTTA GET ALCH, but its only 6am. Faurrrrrkkkkk! I feel HORRIBLE. (go through everything to find anything..... steal roomates crap. I'll replace it. Show up to the liq store / beer store drunk.....takes about 6-8 drinks to numb all the pain of withdraw. Keep a steady drunk, watching TV all day, "trying to dial it back a bit, I'm not going to have 20 drinks today.... end up at...18 drinks"

Day 6 - Wake out of stuper... feel worst than ever.... only ate like some chips, and nuts the day before because I'm so nauseated, I'm not hungry at all, and my GI track is so effed up from the 2-3 times I've puked in the last couple of days.... I just have to.. drink... to... feel ok again. Just 1 more. I'm just going to chug these 4-6 shots of vodka to get my appetite back, get my head on straight, calm my racing anxiety....Then I'll have a game plan how to get out of this black hole. faaurrrrkkkk my handle I bought is almost gone, and it's 7:15am. Faaurrrkkkk I'm going to start shaking. Faauurrkkkkk I have like 19 missed calls, my family knows I'm drinking, I haven't responded to ANYONE in days. They know they know they know.... Fauurkkkk I just got to chug this vodka. Ah. Feel better. But im out, and I gotta get sober at some point. I'm going to lose everything, and I have to go back to work. My boss knows. I CANNNOT JUST STOP COLD TURKEY OR ILL DIE. I HAVE to get one more bottle (it's always just 1 more drink, bottle, etc). (Decisions worst and more insane - Gets in vehicle). "Just gotta stay in the yellow lines. Nobody will suspect being drunk this early. I just have to eat some gum, not fall over in the store, and get home safe before a cop sees me. I'm only going down the road." Somehow I always got more. Drink like 4 shots to "calm down" and chill out. its 8:48am. Fauuurrkkkk wtf am I going to do for 14 hours?? There is no dialing it back because "maintanance" drinks to not shake is MORE than when I was drinking 20 all day drinks. Tunnel vision ensues. Zero appetite, I CAN'T GET OUT. Trip to the ER or Rehab.

(sometimes day 7, like on my .58 Bac, and I was walking around and hitting on the DRs like a savage in the er... semi coherant.)

What. a. life. Wasted 50% of my year working, 48% drinking. I don't wish that darkness on my worst enemy or the thoughts that came across my mind during that period.

A doctor told me when i was 31... Most people kind of make a decision after 30 to dial it back (except that wasn't possible for me, i've never drank 1-2 beers in my life, i drink to get out of control). or they decide to keep drinking like that for the rest of their life, and die an early, horrible death. I dunno if that ever scared me or made me even think... "I didn't have a problem, I'm not some weak pus, I'm too smart for that s*".


Ok, ask me anything, GO!

My dad buys beer sometimes but im still a weed man. Got 7 half gram joints today for 20 dollars with tax.

Can you share from time of starting to get better to today?

You piss the bed every night?

Who would win in a drinking competition? '

Nicolas Cage in the movie Leaving Las Vegas or Denzel Washington in the movie Flight?

Damn brah thats heavy schit. Are you sober now or still doing this to yourself?

mirin physique for an alcoholic in their 30s

or is the avi old

Your uncle touch you when you were a kid or something?

You need to start thinking about liver disease and irreversible brain damage.

OP, I used to drink a lot but I honestly don't understand the pain it would take to need this much alcohol. Pure mental illness.

Damn brah

I. Started with weed since it was easier to get in 9th grade than booze. HATED doing it at parties because I'd literally fall asleep sometimes, when I tried booze, it was off to the races. I used booze to calm social anxiety since I'm pretty high energy and a talker. Chilled me for the ladies.

Did this through college... I thought it was normal drinking for the longest time doing like frat type drinking, always having a drink in my hand, basically drinking as much as I could stomach, without blacking out. Continued this behavior to the bar scene. Was in high finance, drinking in suits downtown by 23-25. Joined the oil field in a huge risk to pay off my student loans, and save up to start a business, worked my way up to engineer making more money than anyone I knew (I think?). Began traveling, buying boats, motorcycles, started a business.. I went hard 7 days a week.

Unfortunately, the oil field was a big party, and I was drinking at night like I was on my days off... Consequences like above started happening around 27, I was barely holding on, and I was drinking to sleep from days to night, nights to days. bad habits, and a big crutch of daily drinking, and weeks like the aforementioned.

never.

28 - Life got REAL - Street fighting (revenge, revenge of revenge from friends), banging as many girls as I could, guns, suicidal (almost went through with it when I was 28, at a party, drank a 5th in an 45min, was being walked to friends house to sleep it off, I was punching mailboxes and breaking everyones banisters, did it infront of a big party apparently.. got chased.. was going to throw up... went behind a dark tree... hit him as hard as I could stepping into him the opposite way... fled...drove an hour and half back to my house, stopped at a strip club... convinced a stripper to come with me after her shift... told me to wait 30 min, lost face 15min in (and wanted more alch), was shaking on the side of the road at 4am and before I was going to end it, I kinda... yelled at God being the atheist I was with double middle fingers in the air, and said I don't want my life. If you want it, you can have it, im not doing a great job steering this ship. And my life changed forever.


Even after that, I was so selfish, so over the top, still tried to do me, do my old filth, and then when poor me was at the end of my rope with my high paying consulting job, hooking up with all kinds of different girls each week, STILL fighting and getting in trouble with the law (sorry you probably would have hated me prior to 5 years ago), I'd end up at church maybe once every other month. Like i've said in AA, when I was an atheist, I didn't know better.... it was THEN when I had the darkest period of my life, like something out of a horror movie. worst of worst thoughts were every other weekend after killing 3 handles, 2 cases of beer, and don't forget... drinks at the bar for days on end until I ended up locked in my room swallowing 4-5 shots of vodka on day 5 every 1-2 hours to stop from shaking until I ended up in the hospital again.

It was slow, but I had to die to the old me, every aspect of how I thought. Much much more to the story, but there's a short version from my scattered thoughts.

As a great philosopher once said "I think, therefore I drink".

At least I think that's how the quote goes, I was drunk when I read it.

Well how did you get better brah?

Nope, completely transformed, completely sober, have 3 successful businesses (and counting), volenteer 2-3 days a week, travel internationally, and always up to something (drove a lambo 2 sundays ago at Xtreme Xperience).
Old avi, but I'm stronger than I've ever been, 225 raw military press, 305 squats, I don't try on chest but I lift it once a month, and put up 305@ 210lbs. I've honestly lifted the whole time, and have always looked about like that, give or take 20lbs.
Nothing. Perfect childhood, parents high school sweethearts, dad looks liek Johny Depp, but not an Ahole lol. Brother beat on me as a kid, but I wasn't bothered. Just was a fool chasing P. Addicted to porn and poon, and alcohol was the means to the end.
Comments like this show how clueless people can be on the topic. I tried to be poetic and edgy to get you inside my frame of mind. lol in AA, theres MUCH MUCH MUCH worst stories than mind, friend.

just over 10 months sober now, did residential treatment. i'm the kind of alcoholic that will drink morning to night, in a constant blur, last time i drank a couple months had gone by like this. So it's not like i even question if i'm an alcoholic anymore. good luck mane

So i went into it above how I got born again, but I'm thick... so it took me a while to go from reading materials in AA (Don't get me wrong, AA is great, and what I needed for a year, but it doesn't cure most people. We have a giant orphans heart we fill with only drugs or the most High... and those are really the only 2 ways to be fulfilled for an ADHD, over thinking, highly intelligent, skeptic, angry selfish atheist.)

But I will say the AA material got me putting the words of the Bible, and the sermons I was listening to, to ACTION, and thats the means of how to get better in any of these situations. Anyone else battling demons won't get cured "reading online", "researching it, and smart enough and strong willed enough to do it on your own in secret so nobody knows, and you get better on your own. LOL, and again i say in bold letters LOL.

You need brothers. You need a team. You need to get your thoughts and deepest feelings and reasons you do everything on paper, fully thought out, fully surrendered to ignorance, teachable, willing to listen to others, and most importantly, willing to listen to the Most high, the Holy Spirit since he is the Helper, and will give you discernment. People like me yelled at God asking for an answer if he was freaking real.... and now I see how foolish it was...Why? You want to hear a word from God about your problem.... He gave us the Bible LOL. There it is, that's the secret to life, and how to "hear from God". Been sober almost 2 years, and a couple days outside of prayer, meditation, helping people, living without screwing people by instantly apologizing, living for other people instead of life being all about me... Das it mane. That's how to break the chains of bondage.

Heavy drinkers should get their liver checked. Liver disease is asymptomatic during the first stages.

420 got me off drink with no effort, completely healthy as I vape it and no hangovers. In fact im pretty sure it makes you more intelligent as Im able to look outside the box more now and approach problems at angles others cant.

When did you have time to lift when you were doing this?

What was your oilfield shift?
If you were in the hospital on day 7 I assume 14 on 10 off? 14 & 14?
Did you miss much work because of drinking?
How many visits to the hospital?

My friend is going through something similar at the moment.
Hospital visit every 3 weeks or so on average the past year and a bit.
He's become open and honest about it and only drinks by himself now as nobody will drink in front of him.
Finally realizing he needs rehab so hopefully he gets help soon.

I've certainly had my issues with Alcohol, but never been on that level. That shyt would be absolutely miserable.

Any miscers concerned about their drinking 100% NEEDS to watch this, if you relate in any way, revaluate your life srs. OP this applies to you too

sounds a bit like me

“wasted half my life drunk and the only half working” no truer words have been said. 12 hour days 7 days a week for months on end, followed my months off completely blacked out the whole time srs

I consider it being a drunkard, not alcoholism tho.. quit for months at a time for work (oil related as well)

My experience was with my mother. When she went really off the rails we would find liquor bottles (the little airplane ones) literally stashed all over the house. Cupboards, in boots, mickeys in empty cereal boxes, pockets of clothing, etc. Trying to hide it of course. One time I filled two duffel bags with them.

She lost her job, her house, her kids and even that didn't matter. Rehab half a dozen times and it never stuck.

Then one day she just decided she didn't need to drink anymore and has been sober for fifteen years. Super weird, because even she's never been able to explain why she doesn't need to drink anymore. I'm just glad it happened.

Nothing wrong with sipping something here, popping something there, smoking from time to time. It's just that most people can't control themselves or regulate their intake. You can enjoy anything in moderation if you're strong enough to do it. Being wasted on booze 24/7 sounds terrible and there are much better things out there SRS

admit it, you hope to die but can’t do it yourself

Did she take acid or shrooms around the time? Those have been known to stop habits after only one med to high dose srs