How do you remain calm and level headed when someone starts chit with you or tries to push your buttons? Could be a random, GF, Family, etc.

It usually takes a hell of alot to get me angry but when I do I sort of blow up and take a long time to cool down. This is a problem as even when the substance of the argument is right and you're factually correct, it doesn't matter as now you're the angry guy and automatically in the wrong.

Usually I just walk away or go for a drive, but then I'm on my own feeling angry over stupid chit that was brought on by some external force, and the other person carries on like nothing happened.

Where my stoics at? Whats your technique for dealing with this?


Inb4 Violence is the answer

stop being a ****get and realize things aren't as personal and serious as you make them out to be in your puny brain.

plus I have too much to lose to start a fight with some low inhib with nothing to lose and everything to prove. Most of the chit that triggers you, you can't control and you'll never change anyone's mind or "teach them a lesson".

by limiting social interactions to the bare minimum (semi srs)

boxing, sex and workout.

with this I can tame any anger coming.
But mostly it's never worth letting bad feelings overwhelm yourself

if you have a GF that is starting chit with you constantly, she's not the one. dump her and move on
if your family is starting chit with you constantly, don't entertain them with your presence.
if a rando is starting chit with you, remember that the only reason why they're doing that is they are compensating for something. They feel the need to pick on someone better than them because it elevates their status. just laugh at them and move on.

acknowledging you're wasting your energy being angry in a situation like that is the first step. The second step is to just stop being angry whenever you realize it. it's very hard at first but gets easier and then you get used to it

the best way is probably steer the conversation somewhere else before it gets to the point where one of you just gets all emotional and angry. If somebody is trying to intentionally be a chit starter, not much you can really do about that unless you throw some witty remarks right back at them and laugh. But the key is to not have taken the chit seriously from the start and not be too invested in it. People who are way too entrenched in their opinions and are overly opinionated on certain things are probably more prone to anger when somebody says the opposite, as it kind of threatens their world view and they are not open to seeing things from a different view. Even if you are in the right and they are wrong, explaining it to them while being empathetic to their thought process and understanding how they might have formed their opinion and expressing that to them can calm the tension. If they are too retarded and far gone this probably wouldn't work, which at that point, it's best to avoid them. If it's family and you can't avoid them, best to avoid overly opinionated topics, i.e politics, social commentary, etc.

Nowadays, for example, in real life I try to avoid any conversation that has to do with covid-19 and vaccines. However, literally every conversation will mention something about it at some point so I just quickly shift it or just end it early. Because I know that chit can go south quickly.

The question is this: Is it worth fighting over?

You will find that the majority of things are not worth your time and energy. You need to step back and detach yourself from it.

Take a deep breath and relax when you feel it escalating.