Im pretty guarded so havnt had too much bad stuff happen.

age 7-14
Mother kept me away from my father and used $$$and visitation to manipulate him.(punishing her now later in life with zero access to her daughter in-law and unborn grandchildren

(told her last week "when ever you think about not seeing your grandchildren please rember the time you wouldn't let me see my father on father's day because he wouldn't give you cash on the spot".)

2006-year10
When I was 15 this dude drew on MS paint a heap of pictures of me.
One's where I had a huge forehead or an antenna as a forehead.
"Absolutely self esteem crushing legit couldn't look in the mirror for years "

My dad kept me away from my mom and lied about her character. It took me a long time to get to know my mom as a result. Turns out my dad is a fukkin liar. Punishing him with zero access to my kids too. It's the way.

My mother always painted my biological father as some worthless POS who didn't care about me but learned later in life that wasn't true.

My GF is always worried about how big her nose is and it's not big at all, it's normal if not small, so she wants a nose job. So I told her that it's not that her nose is big it's that her eyes are just too close together making her nose look big. She started looking in the mirror and got all upset. Found out you can't space your eye sockets out.

exact same thing happened to Me bro .
My hatred for her motivates me to be an honest and forward parent.

That's some petty **** right there bud. My mom was a real bitch to my dad during and after their divorce and cost him a ton of money, she didn't want anything to do with me because I took his side and he ended up with full custody of me as I was old enough to decide. He always stressed to me how important it was for me to put that stuff aside and have as positive of a relationship with my mother as I could. Today we get along fairly well as I overlook her actions during divorce (it's pretty emotionally painful, I went through my own) and she visits my little family a few times a year. She's good at parenting and a nice person at heart outside of some mental health issues, it's far more important to have a harmonious family than it is to hold grudges.

In before OP's children prevents him from seeing future grandchildren, because they were denied access to grandparents, and the cycle continues...

fully understand your side bro as my father said similar things to me.

My mother is the worst gaslighter/compulsive Liar you will every meet.
give her a chance every few months and it's not worth it.
turned both sides of my family against me.

any advice on how to make things harmonious?

Ah well, perhaps I'm wrong and that is the best you can do than, fair enough.

Happens bro.

Brother was supposed to be best man for my wedding. He got fuked up on pills, stranded in Germany because he was paranoid on the plane. Called me to tell me it's all my fault and my wife is a bish. So I didn't have a bachelor party or anything just a bunch of drama and chit...

Same brother cut me out of a deal I put together and i lost out on 500k because of it.

Gave him another chance 6 years later because my family begged me to forgive him. I fixed his chitty business by investing 300k and literally doing all the work to make it a real business. He tried to cause problems with me and my wife then when the company sold he pocketed 500k and I got 50k...

Before anyone says it, I'm done for real with him... my ailing grandparents convinced me to give him another chance but after this last one even they say enough is enough.

if they dont help
they harm

holy chit bro what's your plan for the future with him ?

Crackhead brother who i have helped since he was 15 (40 now) has stoled all kinds of things from me. Latest was last year when I was helping him get on his feet once again by giving him a place to crash he stole my suv and wallet. Woke up the next morning with multiple text msgs (before i knew what had happened) about my credit cards was trying to be used here or there. Found the truck via Nissan Connect services pretty much exactly where I knew it would be in the chit hole of Memphis right in front of 201 Poplar. If anybody knows where that is lol. Truck was ok, just dirty.