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Forum » What do Christians think you actually do if/when you get to Heaven?
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Thread: What do Christians think you actually do if/when you get to Heaven?

post 1656689753 02-22-2022, 10:14 PM
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What do Christians think you actually do if/when you get to Heaven?

Seriously wtf do you do there? Is it still a 24 hour day where you wake up and go to bed or is that model erased? Do you just sing hymns to God all day with all your dead relatives you’ve reunited with?

Is there any sex? Even with your wife? What about if you die single? Can you meet up with other chicks and marry them and fuk them? (since I’m assuming God won’t let you fuk outside of marriage).

Can you play Call of Duty all day or is that too violent?

This is why I think even the most devoted Christians don’t even believe in this sh!t and it may be on a subconscious level.

Even if Heaven had all this awesome sh!t like playing real life super Mario cart on rainbow colored loops or skydive without the fear of death, you’d get sick of it at some point. I don’t want to exist in an eternal state anyways. At some point haven’t you had enough?
post 1656695823 02-23-2022, 02:01 AM
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Originally Posted By andrew28⏩
Seriously wtf do you do there? Is it still a 24 hour day where you wake up and go to bed or is that model erased?
Heaven can be presumed to be timeless, as God is timeless.
Originally Posted By andrew28⏩
Do you just sing hymns to God all day with all your dead relatives you’ve reunited with?
Yes. Delightfully worshipping God is man's final end, and it is never tiring or boring.
Originally Posted By andrew28⏩
Is there any sex? Even with your wife? What about if you die single? Can you meet up with other chicks and marry them and fuk them? (since I’m assuming God won’t let you fuk outside of marriage).
Marriage is a worldly bond; marriage ends when a spouse dies. There's no end or good to sex in heaven, so no.
Originally Posted By andrew28⏩
can you play Call of Duty all day or is that too violent?
All the good of Call of Duty is contained purely and essentially in the experience of the beatific vision, because God is all goodness.
Originally Posted By andrew28⏩
This is why I think even the most devoted Christians don’t even believe in this sh!t and it may be on a subconscious level.
Not sure if srs.
Originally Posted By andrew28⏩
Even if Heaven had all this awesome sh!t like playing real life super Mario cart on rainbow colored loops or skydive without the fear of death, you’d get sick of it at some point. I don’t want to exist in an eternal state anyways. At some point haven’t you had enough?
No. Because God is infinite and we are finite, each passing second (so to speak) in heaven becomes more delightful because our comprehension and appreciation of Him expands further, ad infinitum.

God bless (srs)
post 1656695903 02-23-2022, 02:09 AM
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lol at this fool giving specific answers about God and Heaven as if everything he “knows” about God wasn’t literally made up by another human.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“

PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
post 1656696663 02-23-2022, 02:48 AM
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I'm 99.9% sure god (in the traditional religious sense) and heaven don't exist.

But if such a place did exist, I'd imagine that what goes on there is beyond us to understand and we'd just have to accept that whatever it is and how we experience it would be infinitely more blissful and satisfying than anything we would experience on planet earth.

But as I said I'm 99.9% sure it's a figment of the human imagination.
post 1656697433 02-23-2022, 03:28 AM
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Who knows. Just LMFAO if you want to live forever doing nothing. Sounds retarded
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post 1656697623 02-23-2022, 03:34 AM
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Originally Posted By LearnedManlet⏩
Heaven can be presumed to be timeless, as God is timeless.



Yes. Delightfully worshipping God is man's final end, and it is never tiring or boring.



Marriage is a worldly bond; marriage ends when a spouse dies. There's no end or good to sex in heaven, so no.



All the good of Call of Duty is contained purely and essentially in the experience of the beatific vision, because God is all goodness.



Not sure if srs.



No. Because God is infinite and we are finite, each passing second (so to speak) in heaven becomes more delightful because our comprehension and appreciation of Him expands further, ad infinitum.

God bless (srs)
That sounds lame af. Srs.

Like no sex, marriage. WTF. Thats super gay.
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post 1656698313 02-23-2022, 04:06 AM
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Originally Posted By LearnedManlet⏩
Heaven can be presumed to be timeless, as God is timeless.



Yes. Delightfully worshipping God is man's final end, and it is never tiring or boring.



Marriage is a worldly bond; marriage ends when a spouse dies. There's no end or good to sex in heaven, so no.



All the good of Call of Duty is contained purely and essentially in the experience of the beatific vision, because God is all goodness.



Not sure if srs.



No. Because God is infinite and we are finite, each passing second (so to speak) in heaven becomes more delightful because our comprehension and appreciation of Him expands further, ad infinitum.

God bless (srs)
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post 1656698743 02-23-2022, 04:24 AM
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post 1656700063 02-23-2022, 05:07 AM
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
lol at this fool giving specific answers about God and Heaven as if everything he “knows” about God wasn’t literally made up by another human.
He asked for the Christian perspective - he got it.

Get well soon, bro.
post 1656700213 02-23-2022, 05:10 AM
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Originally Posted By LearnedManlet⏩
He asked for the Christian perspective - he got it.

Get well soon, bro.
This doesn’t change the legitimacy/value of my post.


I am already well.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“

PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
post 1656700453 02-23-2022, 05:18 AM
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LOL at bickering over religion, and then focusing on Christianity - what about Islam?

Religion it self is stupid, whilst having an understanding of life is not.
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post 1656701163 02-23-2022, 05:39 AM
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Imagine how jaded that saint or whatever the fable claims is sitting at the gates. Imagine the TRILLIONS of people he's had to check in. Imagine being sainted and being the equivalent of a fuking secretary for ALL ETERNITY.

Meanwhile god is laughing smashing all of your dead female (and male) relatives with his thundering supernatural cawk and utterly cucking his moronic son that stupidly let romans nail him to a cross because he most likely had primitive undiagnosed schizophrenia.

That's your martyr, christian-cels. A Jewish man with mental illness who should have probably kept his delusions to himself given the primitive nature of brains back then.
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post 1656702173 02-23-2022, 06:06 AM
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Well for starters, the whole place isn't on fire.....so there's that.
post 1656702353 02-23-2022, 06:13 AM
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post 1656702363 02-23-2022, 06:13 AM
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You get to see your relatives who have passed away and live a life of bliss away from hedonism.
post 1656702593 02-23-2022, 06:17 AM
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I went to a Catholic college and had to take a couple Theology and Philosophy courses. Best I can explain it is that you participate in God. Kind of like the native Americans thought you join the great spirit. I think that was Descartes conception. It was a big deal to try to marry faith and reason for super smart dudes hundreds of years ago.
post 1656702703 02-23-2022, 06:19 AM
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Originally Posted By lightsarefallin⏩
Imagine how jaded that saint or whatever the fable claims is sitting at the gates. Imagine the TRILLIONS of people he's had to check in. Imagine being sainted and being the equivalent of a fuking secretary for ALL ETERNITY.

Meanwhile god is laughing smashing all of your dead female (and male) relatives with his thundering supernatural cawk and utterly cucking his moronic son that stupidly let romans nail him to a cross because he most likely had primitive undiagnosed schizophrenia.

That's your martyr, christian-cels. A Jewish man with mental illness who should have probably kept his delusions to himself given the primitive nature of brains back then.
I am hesitant about assigning certain traits to Jesus based on lies other people told about him centuries after his death.

I tend to side with the like of Eckhart Tolle, who would suggest Jesus was enlightened, his message is actually worth listening too, has nothing to do with a promise of any type of immortality or anything, and is simply more so instructions on how to live our best lives. I think that he may have spoke in parables, but the intended meanings have been lost for a wide variety of reasons, the most significant being we have egos.


Now, he may have been a dirty delusional hippy, or he may not have not have existed at all.

One thing I do know, is that the Bible passes along objectively inaccurate information as a matter of fact. For that reason, the entire book can be disregarded, including any concept of Jesus claiming to be some type of supernatural descendant of God.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“

PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
post 1656702723 02-23-2022, 06:20 AM
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We will Worship God. I'm assuming time will be irrelevant in heaven. Our soul is not the same as our flesh.
post 1656702843 02-23-2022, 06:24 AM
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Originally Posted By Ironmanlet⏩
I am hesitant about assigning certain traits to Jesus based on lies other people told about him centuries after his death.

I tend to side with the like of Eckhart Tolle, who would suggest Jesus was enlightened, his message is actually worth listening too, has nothing to do with a promise of any type of immortality or anything, and is simply more so instructions on how to live our best lives. I think that he may have spoke in parables, but the intended meanings have been lost for a wide variety of reasons, the most significant being we have egos.


Now, he may have been a dirty delusional hippy, or he may not have not have existed at all.

One thing I do know, is that the Bible passes along objectively inaccurate information as a matter of fact. For that reason, the entire book can be disregarded, including any concept of Jesus claiming to be some type of supernatural descendant of God.
The fact that people in 2022 refuse to accept this is dumbfounding, especially considering how primitive people were when they wrote this book.

Perfectly encapsulates human beings as a species, though.
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post 1656703103 02-23-2022, 06:30 AM
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Originally Posted By LearnedManlet⏩
Heaven can be presumed to be timeless, as God is timeless.
Does that mean we can watch all the new tv shows that come out in the next fifty-years since there is no time?
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post 1656703193 02-23-2022, 06:31 AM
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post 1656703233 02-23-2022, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted By lightsarefallin⏩
The fact that people in 2022 refuse to accept this is dumbfounding, especially considering how primitive people were when they wrote this book.

Perfectly encapsulates human beings as a species, though.
I’m curious when the last time you read the Bible was.

I read it when I was a kid due to parents indoctrinating me, as they do. There was nothing wrong with it. Put it down for a long time, and about a few years ago, I started reading it again from a different perspective than before.

Bro….

Kindergartners wrote that book. It is such a hard read. Not even talking about the context, just the way it was written. It is cringy af.
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“

PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
post 1656703243 02-23-2022, 06:32 AM
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Who cares, it's not scriptural and it's just for the lower iq who need to be externally motivated to do good. You can tell them whatever they want to hear. No Christian theologian ever put any weight towards it, it's just a fun story for the peasants.
post 1656703273 02-23-2022, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted By DrewDarden⏩
Does that mean we can watch all the new tv shows that come out in the next fifty-years since there is no time?
If time is a universal invariant on earth, but is a non-existent concept in this made up place called heaven, does that mean any action up there has no consequence? After all this time, do we find out that heaven is essentially a celestial version of the dirtiest fuking dump of a prison shower where people live out their most grotesque fantasies?

Are heaven and hell the same thing? Are they eod-esque parallel universes?
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post 1656704193 02-23-2022, 06:56 AM
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You don’t go anywhere once you’re dead.
That’s the final judgement that will separate bad souls from good souls.
Just a misconception that you go to heaven immediately after you die.
Christ was dead for three days and never went anywhere. He was as dead as one can be, a bag of lifeless bones. That’s what you are once you die.
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post 1656704473 02-23-2022, 07:03 AM
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Originally Posted By brosapiens⏩
You don’t go anywhere once you’re dead.
That’s the final judgement that will separate bad souls from good souls.
Just a misconception that you go to heaven immediately after you die.
Christ was dead for three days and never went anywhere. He was as dead as one can be, a bag of lifeless bones. That’s what you are once you die.
1 Peter 3:18–20 — The New International Version (NIV)
18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. 19 After being made alive, he went and made proclamation to the imprisoned spirits—20 to those who were disobedient long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water,
“The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.“

PS: Don't eat poop, just don't let the idea of it stop you from living life to its fullest.
post 1656704743 02-23-2022, 07:09 AM
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Yeah its an interesting topic.

I think as far as tradition christian values goes, Learned Manlet nailed it. Not sure why people are shooting the messenger. If God is everything that is good, then why would you need anything else?

But what does it matter, if its perfect its perfect. It doesn't matter why.

And that's kind of my issue. If god is perfect and nothing else is allowed to exist there that is not, then what is left of us?

If the message about heaven is that everything you've ever enjoyed is actually a sin, then fukking lmao buddy fuk god. The audacity of some ******* to create people that enjoy lifelong things like sports, building spacecraft, or some crazy hobbies just to tell them they're not needed is a fukking huge red flag to me. You already sent us to hell in that case.

Imagine marrying a loving wife, having kids who have kids while nurturing and providing for every generation, only to get to heaven and not give af lmao.

The answer is likely more that its there in some capacity we can't perceive. I'm not a fan of the nice answers that I hear from christianity either. I like hearing the criticism of xtianity, its nearly always valid. Religions tend to be defensive, though. If you've got questions then don't let someone's damnation get in your way.
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post 1656705103 02-23-2022, 07:18 AM
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If heaven really is real, I think it is completely beyond our comprehention. Like attempting to teach algebra to a sparrow.
post 1656705293 02-23-2022, 07:23 AM
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heaven jflol.

brb people who wronged me want to see me in heaven, but I don't give fukall about them.
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brb fairytale made up to make people feel better about death
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post 1656706803 02-23-2022, 07:51 AM
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Heaven is far beyond my comprehension, and I have no idea of what it is going to be like. However, I look forward to the day of finding out.
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